I should talk myself out of this...ETA: I didn't! - YouLookFab Forum

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I should talk myself out of this...ETA: I didn't!

Peri

Veteran

...and I have been trying for weeks.

I started to post this a few nights ago and something wasn't working. So interesting timing that Angie's scarf post came up the very next day! Anyway, this scarf has been on my mind for weeks.
https://www.black.co.uk/collec.....arf-silk-w

I keep talking myself out of it because last winter scarves weren't hitting for me as well as they have in the past. I was wondering if I should stop wearing them because I don't really see others wearing them IRL anymore. If I want to wear one, I have an abundance. It's pricey. It ships from England. The intelligent thing would be to not get it.

The only reason to get it...I really like it. I've never seen Navy leopard print before and it feels like a cool twist on a classic. And, after Angie's post, it does check all the boxes for success for me.

If you've succeeded in talking yourself out of something, did you regret it or be glad about it? If you went with heart over head...same questions!

General

34 replies

Latest reply was from Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

Jules

Veteran

Well, I have a cashmere/silk blend scarf and it has a lovely feel, light and soft with more warmth than silk. That said, I don't wear it that much, more due to the colours than anything (this is something I should have been able to predict and a lesson learned about going outside my usual palette). I have another beautiful silk scarf bought on line, in my colours and chosen very carefully, that I also don't love as much in reality, for reasons that weren't evident online (not as predictable). That said I don't regret this purchase as I expect over time I will get lots of wear out of it, and even pass it on to my kids.

I wouldn't worry about people wearing scarves or not, or even what style is in at the moment, as I see them as long term items and an expression of personal style.

Jules

Veteran

Oh, and this is the kind of thing I send to my husband as an xmas gift suggestion.. which is what I did with both the scarves I mentioned! Something special and a little outside my usual comfort zone pricewise... and very easy for him

Janet

(website)

Veteran

OK, I'm not a good person to talk you out of this, but let's talk it through...

First of all, it's really beautiful. The pattern is classic yet distinctive in the navy.

Second point: I don't know about you, but I don't care much whether I see other people wearing scarves or not. I wear them because I enjoy them! What's really important is whether this scarf will inspire you to wear it as it deserves.

Next, you say you have an abundant collection of scarves. Does this one fill a hole the others don't? Does this one renew your interest in wearing your scarves? Is this a color scheme that's already heavily represented in your collection?

And for the scarf itself: Is it a fabrication that typically works well for you? Is it the right size, shape and weight for your needs? And can you think of several outfits right off the top of your head that you'd want to wear with this scarf?

I'm just asking questions to see where your mind really is with this item. You say it's been on your mind for weeks, which sounds like there's really something there to be considered!

I've talked myself out of many things that I don't regret passing by -- in retrospect I think a lot of them were trendy. The things I'm more likely to regret passing on are items that were "so me" and defied trend -- modern classics with a twist that made them just my style, but I decided I "didn't need" them. Just my 2 cents!

MsMaven

Veteran

I love the scarf. I bought my all-time favorite scarf in Paris in 2015, an Erik Bombard cashmere animal print. It's handy to wear as a shawl in my chilly office and to keep warm on winter trips to Chicago.

For me scarves are practical item most of the time, so I'm not the best one to give you advice on fashion. I still have two silk scarves bought on that same trip, but I don't wear them as often. I expect they will last the rest of my life.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

You should but where’s the fun in that!I definitely think that Xmas is coming in your house hold,hint,hint!

rachylou

Veteran

I’m also the wrong person to talk to. A cashemere scarf like that is just what I’m after now, bad moths.

Dee

Veteran

It’s a tricky dilemma, just wondering how you came upon this item, were you actually seeking it out? I think if you just happened upon it, you could talk yourself out of it because it wasn’t even on your radar.
However, if it was something you’ve been after for awhile then perhaps its worth going for.

What’s the biggest stumbling block? I sense it’s the price and the fact that it’s coming from overseas, which has it challenges if you decide to return it. I’ve never ordered anything overseas, but others have successfully. Only you can decide if the price is worth it for you in the end.

I have talked myself into things with mixed success and there’s times where I’ve completely forgotten about items I thought I really wanted.

Indigoprint

Veteran

FAB scarf.
I would not be able to talk myself out of it.
I might start by diving deep to find something similar, but I have tried that before and it typically galvanizes my desire.
I stopped wearing my scarves during COVID but am back on them. I love
them, they are part of my look and keep me warm.
My fav scarf is a cashmere blend, I got it about 10 years ago and probably spent about 80$ for it. That was alot for a scarf for me. That said it is my fav over all my others, I have worn it so much I am probably in the negative price per wear and I get compliments almost every time I wear it. So my indulgence turned out to be a workhorse for me.

Don't let it go too far!

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Runcarla

Veteran

Regarding scarf trends…

Back in January 2021 I got a maroon puffer, and I wanted to style it like the photo below. However, blanket scarves were ‘out’ and I never found one. The past 2-3 winters a more minimal style has been ‘in’. No scarves, but beanie style hats, baseball hats, and bags as accessories. This winter it seems like large scarves are ‘in’ again, LOL!

That said…

I wore scarves all those winters. I actually used traditional silk scarves, and enjoyed the juxtaposition of wearing them with puffers. Since I don’t wear jewellery, I depended on patterned scarves to add that something extra that my outfits needed to feel complete.

The scarf you are considering is a beauty, and cashmere/silk sounds deliciously luxurious. The colours and pattern are versatile, and don’t look like they would date. If leopard print is in your wheel house, and the purchase won’t put you in the red - I say go for it!

PS: Yes, I have let something get away that I regret, but I have also denied myself more things than I can remember. I am currently going through a YOLO phase - so saying ‘yes’ more often than ‘no’, although I did say ‘no’ to a pair of silver cowboy boots today. They fit perfectly, but I left them in the store.

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

Just to put another point of view on it: in my case it is not scarves, as I hardly wear them. I have a drawerful anyway mostly from gifts, but also (last time many years ago) a few bought because just “so pretty”, before I fully realised I am not a scarf- wearing person!
I am, however, very much a shoe person, and have many I have been hooked on that I really wanted but decided not to buy. Most recently that was in the last year when I hoped to get some fuchsia sandals that were flattish or low-heeled, had straps, dainty, not slides or mules or wedges, to wear to a wedding back in May. I saw several that were close that I adored (I thought).My most exacting requirements were never met so I wore my sparkly silver/taupe sandals instead for only the 6th time in 4 years. Seems way more sensible but I agree with Cardiff girl that there’s no fun in it. In this case I think I made the right decision.
I am currently hankering after different sandals that I doubt I will buy because of price of $369! And so unlikely to get enough wears despite being good with several summer items. So I could see you going either way.

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

PS in the past I would have bought them. That’s how I ended up with around 52 pairs of shoes, many of which I hardly wore. After 6 years of careful buying and judicious editing I currently have 38 pairs. Some are still not worn enough. The ones I am happiest about are the cute ones bought on sale and worn heaps!

Sloper

Veteran

I don’t think there is one good answer. I’ve talked myself into and out of things - sometimes there is regret, sometimes not. But the pain of regret I think has swayed me more. I’m agreeing with Dee regarding “actually seeking it out.” My regrets over impulse buys have certainly caused me to curtail random/idle/emotional scrolling and window shopping.

Anyway - I enjoy wearing scarves, but I have plenty now and fewer opportunities to wear them.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Sloper’s reply above is so good, that there’s no one good answer. And if you do end up making the “wrong” decision here (buying and regretting due to some issue, or not buying and then feeling you really missed out and still hanker after it) I suppose it’s “grist to the mill” as to which direction to go in the future when the same situation is likely to arise.
Although I am much more sensible with my purchases now I do still have fun when I buy things that are sensible but also that I really like because they are pretty or whatever, and my overall satisfaction is greater I think. But I am also getting older and trying not to deny myself too much since I work very hard and still support adult children- it’s very much a balancing act between common sense and judicious indulgence!

Peri

Veteran

Interesting thoughts, thanks!

Jules, Janet, MsMaven, Runcarla...yes, you are right. I don't usually pay attention to what's in style and I often don't even like what's in style. It may have been me beginning to feel bored with them. Not really, but a little...I've been wearing the same ones for ages, with nothing new for probably 6 years. They've almost become a uniform that I thought maybe I should change up.

Janet, and Runcarla, good questions. I have this blend of fabric in scarves and some are delightfully airy while others are thicker. The airy works much better for me and the reviews say this one is light. I'm not much for traditional color leopard print because it always feels heavy to me, like something I have to live up to. This Navy version struck me right away with a big Yes, that's what I've been looking for...but without knowing I was looking for it. The pattern without the usual associations. I can think of ways to wear it, but maybe not enough ways. I have lots of black but not much Navy.

Dee and Sloper, I saw it on another blog I follow. It was definitely not in my head to be searching for it before I saw it. But at this point I don't think it would be an impulse purchase...it's been on my mind for weeks now. The biggest stumbling block is the overseas ordering. It's a funny attitude in a way, like I think I'd be swimming there to get it myself! But I think you've hit on it...the difficulty of returning if it turns out to be less than what I thought. If it was available on Nordstrom I feel really sure I would have ordered it by now.

Cardiffgirl, Jenni NZ, Indigoprint, Rachylou, Runcarla, thank you for bringing up the fun factor. I have lost that lately and haven't bought much new in the last few years. Maybe I'm overthinking this and should just jump. I'll think about that for awhile. (Yes, that was meant to be a joke. But true also.)

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I like the emotion, and that you've thought things through, Peri.

It's not an item that is going to date - by any stretch of the imagination! - and is great with your complexion.

I vote get the pretty. It's going to be worn at some point and make you happy

Irina

Veteran

Yes, I remember talking myself out of something and regretting it. But it only happened a couple of times.

I love scarves but don’t wear them enough. I bought some time ago a 100% thin wool Marimekko scarf and it almost replaced my other scarves. I think scarves like yours are more versatile than a silk or a blanket scarf. They can easily be used from the cold summer evenings to the late fall days as long as they are in your main colors.

avicennia

Veteran

I’ve been looking at the exact same scarf in navy. It’s rare to find a leopard print in cool colors! If it were a US company with easy return I’d have already ordered it just to check it out. But the overseas shipping plus the fact that’s its on the voluminous side are making me hesitant. I’m a scarf wearer for all seasons, so if worked out for me, it would get a lot of use… I’m curious as to what you decide.

avicennia

Veteran

And yes — I often regret purchases I don’t make, almost as often as I regret purchases I do make!

Bijou

Veteran

I find that when something stays on my mind for weeks, it is not a passing fad, but an item I love.

Sisi

Veteran

You could do one in, one out. If you live in a cold climate, that scarf looks like a winner: thin, soft, large and in a beautiful print.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m enjoying the responses to this query! It’s easy to see how varied we all are in our approaches to shopping, but how in every case we are all seeking some sort of balance.

High happiness factor combined with some at least degree of practicality or ease of wearability, and something that won’t break the budget, will sway me most of the time. Scarves are easy in my world — they are not size or fit dependent, they are easy to wear or remove on a whim, and they require little storage space. I also cave when it comes to statement rings — even though they are not practical, I wear one every day and they have a great happiness factor (I rarely ever wear bracelets and even necklaces are getting rarer for me so I know not to invest in those any more).

Anyway, this is just helping me think through my patterns of buying too, so thanks for bringing it up. I confess, I hope you get the scarf because it really is gorgeous. I immediately thought of how great it would be with any denim, but that’s me.

unfrumped

Veteran

Do you have one or even 2 scarves you will cull if you get this one ? That’s on my mind these days. Meaning, am I using it to shift direction, or curate my wardrobe to most-worn items, mix and match better, or focus on my best fabrics.
Is it returnable for a tolerable fee, like
$10, if you get it and something about it is just not right? The cost of “ retail
research , but lets you feel in control of your wardrobe.

Olive Green

Veteran

My mom and I were scarf ladies, big time. We would wait for a physical visit and bring out the scarves and trade and haggle till we each had a new to us selection. I miss her and her amazing eye. I gave away all scarves but one I’ve had for almost 40 years, and went a couple of winters with one pilled wool piece from Target or something…as if I had to detach from the past. Last year I wanted scarves again, and bought a wooly jacquard winter one from Aritzia,and have been looking at silk and wool ones.
I think I am good with one or two special and useful ones, at this point they will last me forever. So looking for that other special one, and hope this is yours, if you buy it.

April

Veteran

Not the right person to ask at this moment, since I just ignored the voice telling me not to by extremely colorful boots.

One tip - if you cave, store this in a ziploc in the freezer. Moth eggs can't hatch in that enivronment.

kkards

Veteran

Well as someone who runs cold, I love a scarf that’s this this size. It’s lightweight and easy to carry so essential to how I go about my days. Of course YMMV.

One other thought about whether to buy or not, the reviews on this style go back to 2021. So it seems like a standard part of the assortment. So little chance it will sell out. What I would do in a case like that-Leave it and see if i’m still thinking about it in a week or 2. If yes, hit buy and stop thinking, if I’ve forgotten about it, that’s the answer. Since it’s already been a few weeks hit buy and enjoy it

DonnaF

Veteran

Do you have moth problems? But I guess storing this in the freezer will solve that problem. Also, do you wear a lot of necklaces or dangly earrings? If find I have a difficult time with a necklace + scarf -- so I rarely wear necklaces since I lack finger dexterity anyway. Also, I'm starting to feel that large scarves are a bit fussy vs. bandana type scarves. With all that said, I'm a scarf person who just bought three scarves.

Btw, did you read that article in Link Love a few weeks ago about prints and print preferences? I need to digest it, as I have some type of fixation on black and white houndstooth and gingham check and to a lesser extent snow leopard.

Peri

Veteran

Angie...another vote for the fun/enjoyment factor. I haven't given myself that permission lately and I don't know why. It's been about do I need it, and the answer is usually no. Realizing this is making me wonder when that switchover happened and why, although this is not usually what is meant when people say "fashion therapy"!

Irina and Janet...It does seem like it would be versatile based on size and color. Kkards and Bijou, agree, this one is not letting me go easily.

Avicennia...nice! LMK if you get it! And yes, it's the shipping and lack of easy return that is the biggest thing holding me back. I guess in the US I'm too used to easy returns.

Olive Green...I'm the one who got my mother into scarves and she had a nice collection. At least 10 of them are now mine and I love wearing things that were hers or that she gave me. After she died I decided I was going to do that daily for a month but it ended up going on for about 4 months. Even 6 years later I still think of which ones were hers.

Unfrumped and Sisi...I could maybe do that. I'm sure I have ones I don't wear or like as much. I don't feel compelled to though. I'm not short on storage space. Maybe I'll do it with the curate and focus viewpoint. Which honestly I could do in every category.

Kkards and DonnaF...I haven't had a moth problem, but I do have a major freezer problem. Ain't no room in there for scarves!!!

Thank you all for the thoughtful answers! I've enjoyed analyzing this. I'm not going to continue with replies because I don't want to keep bumping this post, but I will always keep reading!

Peri

Veteran

Well...I just ordered it!

Thank you all for helping me talk through it. That was a lot of good analysis from many angles, both practical and the reminders to let more fun in. Oddly, it may have been my reply to Olive Green that kicked me over the edge, just thinking about my mother and that she would have liked it too.

Indigoprint

Veteran

Well done! The emotional aspect is something that resonates with me.
Makes you feel warm and fuzzy when worn.

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