IK: yes, I know what you mean. I think I am actually one of those who is most likely to say "you look great!" and not go farther, even if "up top" something really off-kilter is happening. For better for for worse...

Personally, I wouldn't suggest updating a hairstyle in a WIW thread, unless advice on hair is asked for. I just don't feel like it's my place to do that. People can be quite sensitive about their hair. I notice a number of us posting specific hair threads when we are ready for a change.

I know I'm always well aware when my hair is not looking its best in my photos.

I agree with Janet. When I see a WIW, I assume that it's about the clothes. Some of us (as I noted in my earlier comment) have a very hard time controlling our hair. In my case, I also have a lot of health-related fatigue that limits how much time and effort I can put into my hair and makeup. I usually go without makeup, unless it's a special occasion, but I wish I could wear it every day. Clothes are a lot easier to control than hair, imo. And even with glasses, some people might simply not have the money to spend on a nice pair of glasses because they are limited by insurance requirements. But even someone who does not have much money can haunt thrift stores or big sales at the mall and come away with some really nice clothes.

I think that people need to decide for themselves whether they are looking into a hair or makeup update. :^) To be honest, if I wanted more advice on hair or makeup, I would probably join forums (fora?) dedicated specifically to those subjects.

I'm one who posted a hair thread recently, and I am looking to change things up a bit (go shorter). That said, my hair isn't the kind that takes to any one style. It has a very definitive curl pattern that takes over no matter what image or style I've got in mind.

When searching images I do try very hard to look at styles featuring hair that is like mine, but the reality is that it either isn't that common, or if it is, it gets tamed into unrecognizable submission.

I can have the sleekest and shiniest blow-out exiting the salon that ends up whack-a-doodle from the tiniest bit of humidity on the way home.

I've been obsessed with my hair for the longest time, and then one day I decided I wouldn't anymore. So I chose Alexa Chung as my style icon and went with similar haircuts. My hair looks messy 'in a cool way', I'm wearing it rather longish these days and do not even pull it up in a bun most days, and my bangs keep my face from looking too long and thin. Win-win!

IK - I will go one step further and say a great hair cut is a better investment than a plastic surgeon. Finding a style that really suits you and flatters your features but works with your hair - ie so it's touchable, natural, livable and doable - makes everyone look more attractive and stylish. I have seen so many women go under the knife or do fillers, botox and laser and I really feel if they had gone for the hair cut (and plus minus color depending on what compliments and suits) and some natural but flattering make up and complimentary specs if they wear them, they would have looked a whole lot better! So that's my two cents!!

IK, on the hair and make-up question - exactly what Janet said. I will not provide feedback if it has not been requested. You may not fancy a 'do - but the wearer may love it, and have personal reasons for their choices. That said, if the poster openly asks for feedback about hair and make-up - I'll happily offer my subjective 2 cents.

It's interesting that so many of us consider hair to be an integral part of being stylish, but refrain from commenting on a style forum. Yes, people may love it, or have their reasons, but isn't that true for their clothing as well?

I totally get that no one wants to hurt anyone's feelings. On the other hand, if I look great until we hit my neck, shoot, I'd want to know.

For me, the difference is that clothing can be swapped or changed in the blink of an eye. It's a conscious choice. As already stated by many, you can't just choose what your hair is going to look like that day. It's often way beyond our control, and we do the best with what we've got.
Commenting on the hair is more like commenting on the person as a whole, whereas the clothes are something we can take on and off at our whim. It's not so personal to say, "I don't like that style of shirt." If you instead say, "I don't like that style of hair," well, that's more insulting really.

In my experience, people, including casual acquaintances, will notice and rave over your haircut, if they think it looks good, way before they will compliment your outfit.
So I think it is a high-impact area.

I agree hair us a high impact item! In terms of providing unsolicited feedback, I think I would be open to it as a private message, with a constructive suggestion vs. On a forum thread

I personally don't comment on hair unless the question is specifically asked because you never know whether the poster wants unsolicited feedback. That said, I don't mind if someone wants to say something about my hair. If it's terrible I'd rather know. However, if you suggest something that requires my actually paying attention to it on a daily basis (as opposed to just getting a new cut or something that I only have to do every few months), it ain't gonna happen. Like I said, I don't have the time, interest, or inclination to actually do my hair daily.

Mo, do you really think people on YLF would say, "I don't like your hair"? In my experience, a "have you ever thought about putting your hair up" or "you know, I'd love to see you with layers" or even "I bet you'd look great in colored specs" -- those are positive things to say, more about exploring than about judgement.

Not to split hairs (ha ha hah!) but I said not like that style of hair, not your hair to someone. But yeah, it would certainly have to be said much more diplomatically, yet it is being said, no? My point is I think it is much more fraught with emotion than articles of clothing, which are not a part of us day in and day out.
I do think bad hair can impact style. I would like to have good hair days every day, without the effort, a la Diana!

What Mo said.

I wouldn't give unsolicited hair comments unless it were very bad indeed.

And I want to thank you for starting this thread because it has spurred me to freshen up my own hair look when I go to the salon tomorrow!!

I think hair is super-important. In fact, I'd agree with gryffin that a great hair style can make more difference than almost anything else! That's why Angie's a genius to suggest hair updates as the first step to clients needing a style evolution. (And why I thank her every day for suggesting to me that I go back to wearing my hair short.)

I also think that hair can have a mind of its own and it's not always easy to find a good stylist. The other issue is colour -- the reproduction in photos isn't always the best. So even if I think somebody's colour or cut could be more flattering, I'm hesitant to say anything (unless asked) because I know how tricky it can be to alter these things. As Mo says, it's not a split second change. And it goes to the root of us, somehow. Isn't that why "bad hair day" is such a potent emotional semaphore?

I would value feedback if people felt that my hairstyle conflicted in some way with my overall look. (Which is basically the feedback Angie gave me when I was wearing my hair long.) It wasn't so much that the hair itself didn't look good (although it didn't) -- it was more that wearing it the way I was wearing it was preventing me from getting through to my real style.

When I commented on rabbit's hair, it was an observation based on my own experience. When I wore my hair longer, necklines that had alway worked with short hair suddenly weren't quite as flattering on me. So I learned that changing the hairstyle can definitely change the type of neckline that works best. And a higher neckline will typically work better with shorter hair or hair pulled off the face. Although of course you can make it work without that, also -- it just needs a bit more careful styling.

So, are you happy with your hair IK or do you find, like many of us on YLF that there are days when it won't behave, or it's in-between style (growing longer for instance) and you have to go with the flow? I'm guessing on such days you'd rather not be over scrutinised.

This is really interesting! I draw a strict line between something that people put on their body (clothing) and something that is their body (hair). I feel like even though this is a style forum, people are on the forum to hone their clothing choices. They willingly request assistance with that aspect of their life. And they may expand it into other areas, like grooming. However, that has to be a conscious choice and an explicit request for me to volunteer my opinion.

Now hair. Hair is different than clothing. I don't really know based on photos how someone's hair looks. I can't guess how it moves. I don't see most of the time how it looks in sunlight. I can't tell if it is hectically curly or incredibly straight when styled naturally. Therefore, I don't volunteer advice, just like I would never volunteer that someone would look better if they weighed more or weighed less or if they were more fit or less muscly. Their body is their body and it isn't their clothes.

I'm bad at doing hair and my hair is difficult and needs to be "done" every day so it won't be a semi-wavy mussy frizzy mess. I do "do" it but not very well! I have never found a cut or products that make it an option to go with my natural texture. So if hair really is THAT important I'm in trouble. I try my best with my hair and rely on makeup, clothing and accessories to give the message I'm trying to give!

Diane, I believe I am being misunderstood. Sure, I have days when my hair isn't singing. Just like I have days when my pants proportions are off. I'm talking about general styling feedback, not "Dang your hair looks like crap today" comments. No one says it about a shirt, nor would anyone put up with it should someone say that about anyone, outfit or otherwise.

If you scan up, you'll see I'm mostly talking about styles... Suggesting someone put up their hair, or try bangs, or light layers, surely isn't that different from saying you'd add a belt, is it? Yes, it's attached to the body, but it is morphable! And it can make a huge difference to an outfit, as we all seem to agree. I don't believe this is over-scrutinizing. This is a style/fashion forum.

And I disagree hair is different than clothing, we all know photos don't represent an outfit in motion and we comment there anyway.

The general consensus, however, seems to be that hair is off-limits for comments, so I will continue to refrain from commenting unless asked.

I get tons of comments when I put my hair up versus down.
But I've never been good at hair, even in the angry cockatoo curling iron attacked bangs of the 80's.
I just pay a lot for color and cut and hope for the best now.

Like unfrumped, I notice that I get a lot more compliments for a sharp haircut than I do for a new outfit. Maybe I need better outfits, but I think it's indicative of how people look at faces before they look at clothes. So outfits matter, but it's hard to pull off a stylish look if your hair doesn't work with it or it actively working against you

There's loads of magical thinking around hair for some reason, much more so than with clothes. You wouldn't believe how many random people (IRL, not here) had opinions when I mentioned cutting my hair after the wedding.

You are absolutely right, the pictures don't tell me everything about clothes either! I think the key to why I don't comment about hair isn't so much about the fact that the pictures don't tell me everything (I kinda threw that in last minute). The key is that hair is someone's body. I wouldn't tell someone that if they had a different body in a way that they could change then they would look better. I may say an article of clothing doesn't suit them (emphasis on the clothing), which emphasizes what the clothing isn't doing versus what another body might do. I wouldn't ever say: if you were skinnier and more fit (to pick out the most offensive version I can think of), then you would look better in an article of clothing. Hair is an extremely emotional part of a person's body. In my experience, when women feel unattractive, many of them even more emphasis on their hair. Sometimes that is reflected in holding onto a hair style that makes them feel pretty even though it is out-dated or unflattering. The proof? If you watch any makeover show, the most dramatic moments aren't when they change a person's wardrobe or makeup, they are when they change their hair.

Great thread! Thank you for starting it, IK. Interesting how the whole hair issue turns out to be a minefield.

I think hair is an immensely important factor in one's look. While you're walking, people see all of you. But as soon as you sit down at a desk, the bottom half disappears from view. In a professional head shot, avatar, or a video conference, the view often shrinks to mostly the head. The head (face and hair) being the main constant of one's look, I'd say it's much more important than clothes.

This thread is really interesting to me as a new member. I've had long hair most of my life but it is fairly straight and easy to manage so I've found longer is more flexible since I can always put it up--which I usually only do for sports/working out or a more formal look. My everyday look is straight, loose hair and side-swept bangs. But when I style my bangs straight it creates a more dramatic look with my square jawline. Since my hair is so long it can change the proportions of an outfit pretty significantly, which is something I've only recently discovered. Based on this thread, I'm thinking I should specifically ask for feedback on hair if I'd like it, because there are a lot of good thoughts here!

I am also a new member, and agree that this thread is super interesting! 2 thoughts:

1) I totally agree about the importance of hair to an overall look. I actually feel like I have developed a style aesthetic around my hair (rather than styling my hair to match my overall aesthetic, if that makes sense...) I have dark brown wavy/curly hair that always looks a little undone, at any length. It seems to look best with arty/eclectic looks (I benefit from working in a very casual office!) On the rare occasion I wear a business suit, or more office formal attire, my wild hair looks completely incongruous with my outfit and I end up pulling it back, straightening it, or both.

2) Hair also has a huge effect on my proportions. If I wear a dark top, I need to wear my hair up, or else my dark hair blends into my top and completely eliminates my (already short) neck. I think it also somehow changes the way my face looks - I've had people not recognize me when I put my hair up! (Maybe this happens to everyone?)

Anyway, sorry for prattling on - great thread!

Another newbie here, and loving the conversation. I think hair is an important factor for creating a total look. However, some women just have great hair, and others, like me, no matter how hard we try, it just isn't happening. What that means to me, is that my unruly, thinning, getting even harder to manage hair, is a part of my overall look. I will never look polished. My hair just won't let me. So, whatever our hair looks like, it does say something about us, just as our clothes do. A great hairstyle can be a show stopper and make any outfit look better. Some of us just have to just try a little harder through our outfits to say what we want.