I don't feel bad about not keeping up, really. When I go on YLF, I look at the Latest page in the forum. Sometimes I just focus on the WIWs, so I go there and look at those. I definitely post more replies/comments than conversations I start. I almost always reply if I've opened the conversation. Even if I can't come up with a great comment. When I have less time, I reply without reading everyone else's comments.

Great thread !!! I used to feel really guilty....especially because I didn't ( and still ) don't post WIW, but I love it when others do. Yet they are making themselves vulnerable and taking a huge, courageous step and I am just so grateful. I also can't get to all the threads. Honestly, I answer whatever catches my eye. I really like the Yay or Nay. I also try to answer anyone who is new or really working on there style...it takes allot of courage to take that first step. I find that I am not so good at ideas but I know when something looks good to me, so I tend to comment more on that. I also love all the non-fashion stuff. The women here are just so darn smart and interesting.

Otherwise, YLF is like any relationship to me. It is not 50-50. There are times that I can only give 10% and YLF gives me 90%. Even if I just can't get to it here, the forum is large enough now that SOMEONE will get to it. So to me it is a community. A very willing and thoughtful one, where there is always someone to step in and do something. And as a community, everyone seems to get attended to somehow. Each one of us also has our strong points and I think that we tend to go there first, like Rae said.

I am very cognizant of all the work that Angie and Greg do here for no charge, though this type of work is their livelihood. So I try to place orders through the Partner links at the bottom of the page so that they can make a little commission. This to me is a very important piece of the participation. I am not a big shopper in general ( this year I have been because of the weight gain ) so I always look at the partners first before ordering anything.

Not only do I not remember YLF member's individual wardrobe items, I will sheepishly admit I often forget their real names! I once read through a whole birthday tribute wondering who the heck this person was, because Angie referred to them by their real name and not their screen name. Yes, you can laugh at me now. I'm hopeless.

This is the endless, infinite internet.

There Is No Way To Keep Up!

And the only people who have any obligation to do so are the forum's owners and moderators (Mr. and Mrs. Cox, in this case). Even mods aren't expected to read every single thread and post - just to keep an eye on any problems.

I had around 10 years of experience in online forums before joining YLF, so i had time to figure out a lot of this stuff for myself. Any forum worth joining is going to be so vast that there's no realistic way to keep up.

For me the main point is to figure out what you want to get and what you want to give. Since a lot of internet revenue is driven by traffic, simply clicking on the forum and various topics helps with revenue. So does linking to YLF posts elsewhere, and encouraging others to read YLF. Of course, anyone writing or posting pictures in the forum is generating original content for free - on the internet, original content is queen! If you can, buying through affiliate links or the store is a great way to support YLF.

As a forum member, it's always important to follow the rules. Every forum has a list of guidelines and if you don't follow them you can get suspended temporarily or for keeps. Here you can see YLF's:
http://youlookfab.com/backstag.....f-service/

Over the years i've developed some 'rules' for myself:
**Don't swear, put other people down, or say nasty things about other people. It is possible to exhibit disagreement or differing opinions while being polite. Make it about the idea, not the person, if you need to say something about it.

**Give credit where it is due! Put quotes in "quotes" and attribute them. Don't plagiarize. If you got an idea from someone else, say so.

**Read another member's comment carefully and make sure that you understand what they said before you respond to that comment. You would be surprised how much trouble violation of this rule causes! Especially since the post is right there for you to read. I was on a paranormal forum which was set up to discuss a podcast. One of the podcast hosts had to apologize to a forum member on the podcast as the host had berated said member at length based solely on a misreading. The forum was later sanctioned by the host service for moderation issues, which led to the whole forum being deleted.

**Real life comes first.

**Have fun!

I deliberately put 'have fun' last, as i have found that when members violate the other rules the fun goes away pretty quick.

But seriously, no one is calculating how much you put in vs. how much you 'take' (whatever that means). People love it when you post something interesting and amazing and they are grateful you took the time to do so. If you aren't around, they figure you are a grown person and you know how to run your life.

The only instance where forum members will think about other members negatively is when they quote without attribution, start trying to stir things up between various members, etc.

And i can't say i have ever seen anything like that happen here at YLF!!!! Really this forum is a gem, Angie and Greg should be proud of the community they have created - and so should everyone else who reads and comments! A place as special as this one takes a lot of participation from a lot of people. So give yourself credit for however you contribute here at YLF!!

FWIW, steph

I love to come here as often as I can during weekdays (weeknights/weekends DH is on the computer) and try to read as many as possible, but I usually only comment if I can add to the conversation, which isnt often! lol Sometimes my mind is just stuck for the right words too, which doesnt help...I do really enjoy reading all the posts I can get to and love the WIWs. I *love* this place!

Wow you guys! This is really helpful info! I like a lot of your suggestions - the most important one being "have fun!" I really don't want to lay a guilt trip on myself for not having the energy or time to respond. I like the suggestion of trying to comment on the WIWs first, because those threads are putting people in the most vulnerable positions and I really think its important to provide encouragement and support, even if you're not crazy about their ouft! One thing I find myself doing (and I'm not sure this is such a good idea) is that I gravitate towards those threads that are written by someone that I have met IRL - or have had a more personal connection with on the forum. I am more comfortable with them, and I have a better idea of their style. The problem with that is that I tend to "neglect" the newbies, who have soooo much to offer - so then I try to catch up on all of them - and neglect my "old" YLF friends. So . . . I'm not going to stress about it - but I got to tell you I am mightly impressed when one of you makes a suggestion to another member to wear a piece of clothing that they modeled on the forum 3 weeks ago!!!! That is just NOT ever going to happen with me.

I can't keep up and I'm not the fastest reader so if I see something longer than 15 lines I skip it or try to skim it. I click through and look at outfits but don't always comment- others have already posted the perfect responses/advice and such.

Marley, don't sweat it. I am so busy with work right now that I have hardly been on here at all. But if I start feeling guilty about YLF, it's going to stop being the "after work/kids are in bed" little bit of release that I want it to be. So, when I'm this busy, I just browse and comment here and there, and tell myself so be it. There will be other times when I can invest more. But I do try to ask for less when I can't give as much, so I'm inclined not to start threads myself unless I'm in a place work- and family-wise when I can give back.