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HEWI's & How They Turned Out

Deborah

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Hi Ladies,

Over the past few months I have secured three Highly Elusive Wardrobe Items.

#1 A white shirt that fits and flatters me and works with my overall look. The shirt was from COS.

#2 Skirted Leggings. Found thanks to Australian label Motto.

#3 Blue tall boots. Discovered 'by chance' yesterday?

I am thrilled with the shirt and have found it can be worn with quite a few different combos and I use it to layer under less structured items. I have worn it a lot. It has lived up to my expectations.

I received my skirted leggings today and have had a play in my wardrobe and they work with so much. I expect that these will become a workhorse but only time will tell.

The boots wont get a lot of wear, if any, until next Autumn so I really won't know until then.

This got me thinking about how sometimes an item which proves to be 'elusive' can become almost an obsession Skirted leggings were like that for me. I HAD to have them. But the truth is I really didn't know if they would work for me. The EF ones would have been too short for example, but you know if they had been more readily available to me I am not sure I would have had the self control and am 99% sure there would be a pair hanging in my wardrobe now lol.

My question to you is have your HEWI's turned out to be all that you expected and hoped for. Were they items that were tried and proven in the past and you knew were perfect for you? Or were they items that you took a risk on... in your mind you 'knew' they were perfect but in reality you wouldn't know until you tried them. Has anyone found and purchased a HEWI, only to return it?

xxxDeborah

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17 replies

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gryffin

Veteran

Wow, Deborah - amazing boots but looks like a very high heel. Can you tell I've been demoted to 1" max with foot problems!! Enjoy them!! But you bring up a really interesting point that I've been pondering. How do you differentiate "HEWI's" from "False Idols"? By definition a true HEWI that is perfect should become a workhorse (as I use the term). Because I save that, not just for things I want or I've trolled for months to find. A true HEWI is well thought out, must meet each and every criteria it is meant to fulfull. You must love it wildly, it must look and feel magical on. It must be practical within it's use parameters too. Then there are the false idols. Things you become transfixed by that are almost perfect, not quite your style, place holders, FOMO items, you settled for it because the real item was too pricey or not available etc. When I search for what I want through the lense of what I really need,..when I hold out until I find what I love wildly, but it ticks every box without equivocation, I've never had a loser. It's the tiny just not right, almost perfect, perfect for someone elses style...that's what can still derail me. Since I've finally really honed in on the difference, that's helped but I still made the occasional blunder. But I find the ultimate test is I can pack the item back up in the box it's not good enough to keep, if I get it on and refuse to take it off or get it too close to the box it's the ultimate keeper. Still learning but doing better!!

Staysfit

Veteran

I love all your HEWI's! The boots are gorgeous!

I have found two HEWI's recently. A coral colored leather jacket, and a blazer that fits. I have just started wearing the leather jacket because the weather here has been cool enough and we have had some days without rain. I am so happy every time I put it on! :-). It garners complements, and it is very comfortable. I found a second leather jacket that I also love in an eggplant color and while it wasn't on my original HEWI list, it has also turned into a star wardrobe item in my wardrobe this fall.

My new blazer is from Smythe. I had to have it altered slightly, because like every blazer I try, it was large in the torso. I just picked it up from the tailor two days ago and expect to start wearing it next week. I hope to post pics soon.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Fabulous finds, Deborah! Can't wait to see you incorporate them into your rotation.

I have had differing experiences with my own personal HEWIs.

On the one side, there is my Reiss ink blazer. Remember how many navy or ink blazers I tried and returned? That was only the ones I brought home and showed YLF; there were also many, many more. And none were quite right. I was looking for a couple of years. The Reiss tuxedo jacket was precisely what I wanted and needed and I wear it with joy each time I put it on. It is the perfect way for me to elevate my jeans outfits.

Speaking of jeans --- my CoH Racers were a HEWI of sorts, too -- the perfect slim but not sausage casing skinny. I find them a bit lower rise than I might wish now, but they are still pretty close to perfection. And "perfect" jeans are probably a HEWI for us all! I have worn these jeans hundreds of times (literally) -- so they were worth every penny I paid, and worth the wait.

On the other side -- my beautiful taupe suit, a true HEWI. But never worn as such yet!! A year and a half later, the occasion for wearing it has not appeared. I do wear the jacket regularly, so it was not a wasted purchase. And the day may come when the suit will feel right -- but at the moment it is rather languishing in my closet.

And my grey knee high dressy boots -- another huge HEWI -- and now, mostly unworn. Why? Because grey is so darned difficult. The boots are a warmer, greener grey than the greys I usually prefer to wear. Who knew??? Not I, at the time. This is one reason so many of us defer to black, I suspect. So frustrating!! I pretty much have to confine these to outfits where I am not wearing any other greys -- and then they don't work cohesively for me, either, since they don't bookend my hair. But I will keep them since the style is classic and they may work better once my hair is fully grey.

Anonymous

It looks like your HEWI's are pretty perfect ! I just opened an email this morning saying that COS was now in Toronto and coming soon to Montreal - so perhaps ordering from this chain will be possible ! Anyways, I agree with gryffin with regards to the HEWI vs False Idols theory. My HEWI is the perfect black pant. I still haven't found it. But, I do get caught up in the false idol/temporary obsessions items.....far too easily for my own good. I've gone through it a few times already this fall and am a little unhappy that I'm still falling prey to clothes as solutions to all woes etc.

Elly

Veteran

I've had this go both ways-- I've stalked and hunted pieces and even made multiple returns and exchanges and never found the right piece (I guess that is what makes them HEWIs) but then found something and realized even though it was PERFECT it wasn't going to work for me--- some of the flannel shirts I hunted last year ended up like that . . . the "perfect" pattern ended up too "bright" on me or had too much white in it and it turned out I was looking for the wrong type of plaid the whole time.

I also spent months searching for button downs and tailoring them. I never use them. Mine aren't no-iron, which makes them a big pain to throw on as an everyday piece (they aren't thick enough either). I wish I would have purchased one expensive brooks bro or the like for those times I need one-- which is pretty much never considering that I don't own a blazer and tend to be overdressed for most buisness-type events in my leather jacket. But maybe I'd wear it if it wasn't a weekly investment of 30-60 minutes to iron the 3 of them. I'd say it is a personal problem, but the SO won't even iron his button downs-- he takes them to the cleaner (but that is a once a season expense for him). Women's button downs, esp. ones that have been tailored are much more of a pain to iron because of the curves and boob-seam ripple issue.

I thought ponte pants might be one of these-- I hunted and tried dozens of pairs and never liked how they felt and looked. BUT then I found the Kut pair at NAS that are very jean-like.

My madewell plaid shirts and all of my comfortable, stylish footwear are PERFECT HEWIs though.

catgirl

Veteran

I thought about this on my drive to work. My problem is not with HEWIs; it's with TETFWIs (Too Easy to Find Wardrobe Items). Black boots? Oversized sweaters? Slouchy jeans? I have to stop myself constantly from buying more of the same. And my HEWIs now tend to be older items I loved that have worn out and want to replace - like my sleek mid-calf boots or earlier, my workhorse Rockport boots.

Overall, the more specific I am (OTK black suede boots, 2" heel, narrow calf), the more likely I am to find the right thing, and the more expensive it tends to be, sadly. I find that HEWIs like "the perfect black pants" are too hard to pinpoint for me, because the cut and material are all part of that. Are they ponte skinnies? Or linen widelegs? Etc.

And ironically, many of my workhorses tend not to be HEWIs but become one when I need to replace them. My $15 H&M fringe bag has been an absolute favorite because it's fun and practical, and I don't fret about abusing it because it wasn't expensive. If something is too precious or seems rare, I tend to hoard it rather than bring it out to use - so it becomes an orphan even though I adore it.

Carole

Veteran

Your boots are gorgeous!

I've been looking for tall black replacement boots for 2+ years and finally bought the SW boots below thanks to a post from Janet on the forum. The boots needed to fit my narrow 13 in calves, with a heel under 2 inches, be comfortable to fit over a painful bunion, work with dresses, skirts, jeans, ponte pants. A tall order to say the least. Im hoping I'll be able to answer "yes" these met all my expectations..I had almost given up!

Stuart Weitzman 'Mixitup' Boot (Women) (Nordstrom Exclusive)

$625.00 $312.49

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11

Janet

(website)

Veteran

And to complicate matters, sometimes what looks at first glance to be a wild card ends up serving a HEWI purpose! That black long BCBG jacket that everyone here is probably sick of was a wild card bought while shopping with Angie and a group of Fabbers in Boston. I had already chosen a black blazer there with the cut-out sleeves (which I also wear and love) as my HEWI replacement for my old black riding-style knit blazer (now passed along). But it has ended up that the TRUE replacement for that blazer was the thigh-length jacket -- I have seriously worn that thing so much I am worried about wearing it out.

I've had good luck with the success of my HEWIs in the last year or so. They've all proven to be very useful and true to my style.

Now if I could just find my HEWI casual, long-sleeved, midi-length, solid-color, multi-purpose, flattering but interesting dress... It's about as HE as it gets for me.

BCBGMAXAZRIA Arelia A-Line Coat

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Cerinda

Veteran

I don't know about my last HEWI, waiting for travel and cold weather to see how well it works. I've wanted a knee-length black wrap coat forever, and scored a gorgeous one on final clearance last spring. It's not quite what I was looking for --cashmere instead of a wool/cashmere or wool/camel hair blend-- so it won't be as durable as I had hoped, we'll see.

Tania

Veteran

Beautiful pieces!

I think it can go both ways- finding a HEWI can scratch the itch, or sometimes you find it and realize it was all wrong!

I wanted a DVF wrap dress, so not too elusive, but in a speaks-to-me pattern. I saw a great one on an impromptu visit to Nordstrom's and tried my size...and then the next size up...and the next size up...and I still couldn't get it to fit right in most places. Clearly, the dress was not the right cut for me! Anyway, I was a little sad, but there are so many other things that fit me better. It was good to let that go and make room for the better!

Sal

Veteran

Interesting topic! I will need to ponder this and revive the thread later. At the beach for the weekend

Greyscale

Veteran

My HEWIs are so hit or miss. I think more misses than hits, actually. I think I obsess over the idea more than the reality, so by the time I find something, I don't stop to think about whether I'll really wear it. (Someone said something similar in a thread this week - I wish I could remember the phrase because it captured it better than I can.)

I was just thinking recently about the opposite of HEWIs: the wildcards that I don't expect will get much use but become total workhorses. I bought a casual tank dress from J Crew on my way to work one day because I decided the shirt I'd worn was too small. I figured it would be an almost disposable purchase (on deep sale), and it looked awful the way I wore it that day, as a tunic. It's just a shapeless tank top but knee-length. But it's become one of my favorite items. Maybe I should start a thread about that topic?

Edit: Just realized that's exactly what Janet said above, too!

Ginkgo

Veteran

Your new purchases are dazzling, especially the boots -- love how the color line echoes the curve of the leg.

As far as my own HEWIs, frequently the spontaneous purchases are worn more than those that are carefully considered.

JAileen

Veteran

I wanted the EF skirted leggings too. I found them at Dillard's locally and bought the size they had. They I found them at Macy's online for half price and bought them in the size I already had and the size I thought might be better. Of course I kept a pair from Macy's and returned the rest and ended up never wearing them. I hope to wear them this fall. It only felt like fall in the last couple days. I'm still not sure how to wear them exactly.

Bijou

Veteran

YLF is helping me to be more discerning. Too many times have I bought HEWI only to have them languishing in my wardrobe and other times buying impulse items that turn into true work horses. When I buy something now I ask myself the question "When are you going to wear that?" to see if it is something that fits into the bulk of my life. Which realistically is not cocktail parties, but work, the school run, and weekend wear. The other inappropriate buying that I do is to buy multiples of the same thing (how many black jackets do I need?) because I only tend to wear the one I like the most anyway. Yes, I still have lots to learn.

Style Fan

Veteran

I love your items Deborah. Great choices. My HEWIs.

1/ Smythe jacket. I have been wanting one since I knew about Smythe. I can not remember when that was. Every season I look at their jackets and decide whether they have what I want. Nope. I would like a jacket to my waist (Like the Duchess) in a warm colour. I prefer brown, cognac, olive green.... I would be okay with a tweed.
I have some jackets that are hanging in but are pretty old. My Hugo Boss jacket that I love is 10 years old (fainted). I bought it in England. It is brown (See Smythe it is possible) and is perfect. I have another jacket that is a warm taupey brown that is older with interesting details.
For summer jackets I have a green striped jacket that is 8 years old that is starting to show wear. It is some Italian make and was pretty spendy. I love it but need to be careful with wearing it now. I also have a cognac jacket from Stills.
My jacket capsule really needs an update. I wear jeans, top and jacket a lot. However, I am not giving in until I find the ONE.

2/ A Down vest that goes to my waist and is fitted. Not too puffy. Also in a warm colour. Olive green, brown, cognac, something like that. I have the vest in black. It is from Jacobs. Black does not really go with much in my wardrobe. A down vest is great in my climate. I have seen some at Marks Work Wearhouse this year but none in the right colour.

Anonymous

AlaskaGirl said it best for me.

First, TETFWIs (Too Easy to Find Wardrobe Items). In my case, black slacks, black skirts, black knit tops, shoes. I can't seem to stop buying the same item over and over again. Do I get rid of the items in my wardrobe that a new item is duplicating? No. No, I don't.

Second, "If something is too precious or seems rare, I tend to hoard it rather than bring it out to use - so it becomes an orphan even though I adore it." Ditto. But then the seasons or the years pass and suddenly I don't even like that item anymore.