My heartfelt condolences, Ladyone. I am so, so sorry. I know what you are feeling. I lost my own Mum to cancer 14 years ago. There is no silver lining here, accept that your precious Mama is no longer suffering. She will be in your loving heart forever. Preserve those incredible moments as they will give you strength for life.
Grieving and emoting is cathartic. If we can soothe your pain in any way at all, please shout. We are here to support you in whichever way we can. Much love and hugs to you, sweet lady. xo