Flouting fashion “flattery”

Stagiaire Fash

Today’s post on how to deal with being short-waisted is an odd one for me. The measurement from my shoulder to top of hip bone is 5” shorter than top of hip to under knee, and one hand width tucks in nicely between my waist and underbust, so I clearly fit the description of “short-waisted” but I’ve never taken it into account in getting dressed or seen it as a negative, because it goes hand-in-hand with long legs, which I like.

This, and Roxanne’s recent experiments in getting the flattery she wants for her priorities got me thinking. What I’m going for is different than the mannequins manufacturers use to create their styles.

This is my blow-by-blow response to the styling suggestions in today’s post:

•Since the pandemic, bralettes and other styles without underwires have become much more popular. If I’m going to wear a bra, I prefer underwires, but I’m also perfectly comfortable with a built-in shelf bra for my B babes.
•A column of color bores me.
•Low-cut waists don’t make me happy—I think my belly looks big. (Objectively, my BMI is fine; I just don’t find that cut flattering).
•Empire waists and V-necks are ok sometimes, but I don’t choose them often.
•Drop-waist dresses, otoh, I love. They just feel great. I also like skirts that have a yoke on top.
•I don’t do asymmetry often, because I feel off-kilter in it.
•I rarely wear accessories in the summer—it’s just too much stuff. Even in the winter, I use scarves for warmth, and generally take them off indoors.
•When my waist was hard to find, I didn’t tuck in my tops. I’m happy that I can again. The Catholic high school I went to didn’t permit girls to wear pants with shirts tucked in; we had to wear them “tunic style” and were permitted to belt them. To this day, belting an untucked top is not an option I’d choose.
•Low-slung belts are groovy and something I really should do more often. If you guys would alert me to possibilities for this in outfits I post, it’d be awesome.

I think my figure-flattering priorities are simply different than the convention Angie’s post refers to. For me, highlighting the waist is all about making my shoulders/bust look bigger and emphasizing the difference between my waist and hips; the whole point is to make it look like I have a chest & a butt. I don’t mind being short on top and highlighting my legs one bit.

Over to you: how does your ideal for your body differ from the mainstream convention, and how do you dress because of it?

2 years ago

Dressing

13 replies

Latest reply was from Sally

Helena

Veteran

FI, I tend to be one of those people who enjoys somewhat conventional flattery, although I do things that don't fit the bill (for example, as a rectangle, the conventional wisdom is to create curves, but I'm not bothered with this).

It's one of the things I love about the YLF approach and community - there's no assumption that we all have the conventional figure flattery goals! Rather, the information is shared, and we can pick and choose (or completely ignore) as we choose!

2 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Helena, thanks for your comment. That kind of diversity/not caring about what we are “supposed” to want is exactly what I’m asking about.

2 years ago

Irina

Veteran

FI, Angie’s post was extremely useful to me in understanding why certain fits are challenging for me and how to overcome it. It taught me to pay attention to cut of the clothes not only on top but in relationship to the rest of an outfit.
I don’t take all recommendations as applicable to me since my short top is attached to my other body parts with it’s own proportions. We are all different short waisted women. For example, I very much mind making my DD chest look bigger.
As for figure flattery, have you seen my photos?
I appreciate that this community embraces and supports someone like me, dressed in less conventional, oversized style. When I look at my own and the forum members’ photos, I’m not looking for figure flattery but rather for a harmonious outfit in any style.

2 years ago

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Irina, your outfits would be so much less interesting if you were trying to go for the Barbie doll look! You make a good point about there being other ways to look good besides getting as close as (visually) possible to a prescribed figure. A case in point—I think the bust you mention is conventionally enviable, but you de-emphasize it so much that if I were to have guessed your size, I wouldn’t have come near that.

2 years ago

LaPed

Veteran

I agree with Irina that it's difficult to think about a feature like short-waistedness in isolation from other characteristics. I must be short-waisted to some degree (long legs and long rise for my height -- I've gotta be missing inches somewhere!), but it doesn't have much of an impact on how I choose clothes or build outfits. Possibly this has to do with having a small bust and not-very-curvy proportions? I also think that as a relatively small, straight-sized person, I've had the privilege of disregarding a lot of the pressure to alter/conceal/emphasize/de-emphasize that many women feel.

2 years ago

Irina

Veteran

FI, I have nothing against big busts For me it is about proportions of one’s body. When I was younger and my waist was slimmer, I wore tighter tops and liked it. Emphasizing my chest now would make me look somewhat top heavy.

2 years ago

Anonymous

To me its about having a harmonious whole picture, not consciously emphasizing this or deemphasizing that. I guess I don't want the eye to stop anywhere if that makes sense.

2 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Of course, Angie does point it all out, re personal flattery priorities v convention and other body parts… but it’s interesting to stop and think about in terms of my specific self and not just blow past it. Get into the weeds…

…I’m short waisted and long legged. A couple of problems I have with this configuration are not visual flattery problems so much as physical comfort problems. Like when a garment’s waist hits my hips and makes the item too tight with buttons pulling and my stomach wondering why I’m trying to cut it in half - what did it do to me? Lol! And I really love an oversized shapeless look, for example, but I realise I mostly avoid it. I can’t deal with all the cloth. I really go for classic fit, showing the general lines of the body but not clinging to it because of these dealing with cloth factors.

I really don’t think about figure flattery at all, now that I muse more on the matter, except for one thing: I despise looking like an insect, when clothing makes me look like my legs are growing out of my neck… and I sometimes feel I should get something with a diagonal hem, but don’t… what I do is fake it, like wear welted hems with one side higher than the other.

And one might think I’m ignoring the recommendations when I wear high waisted pants, which I love… but I realise I still obscure the waist a bit even there. I may not wear a tunic, but I also don’t show the actual waist band. I also avoid my absolute true waist… have waistbands sit at ‘low waist.’

… because honestly, my true waist is at the base of my neck, lol. One’s pants should just not also be a turtleneck!

2 years ago

Gaylene

Veteran

After spending years on this forum, I think very few participants are interested in dressing for “conventional” flattery in the narrowest sense of the goal. Creating a pleasing look, though, does seems to be the goal of most participants which, I guess, is a roundabout way of saying most of us do choose figure flattery as ONE of our style goals.

What makes this “figure fixing” advice useful is its potential for helping us analyze why some styles just work better than others for our particular body shapes. For example, I can easily fit 3 of my rather sizeable hands between my bust and my waist. Realizing the “conventional” measurement for a woman with average-sized hands is 2 hand-widths was an “aha” moment “ as it clearly explained why styles with defined waists always end up as a suffocating band around my rib cage. Knowing how my body veers away from “convention” led me to consider silhouettes and designs which work in harmony with, instead of fighting, my particular body shape. At that point, my own aesthetic sense could kick in to figure out a look which pleased. me when I saw it on my body.

I suspect most of the women on this forum work with the advice in these “conventionally flattering proportions” posts in much the same way—not to create exaggerated hourglass proportions but to figure out how to balance a personal aesthetic with a modicum of flattery to create a look which ultimately is pleasing to them. In other words, much like what you are doing.

2 years ago

Sloper

Veteran

I'm bustier and butt-ier than the mainstream convention.

My challenge is finding a happy spot between camouflaging shapes and overt body-con (i.e. a deliberate sexy statement).

I've mentioned elsewhere my issue with clothes that are just sized up all over but don't account for shape, so that I look like I'm wearing either a barrel or refrigerator box. Which is where tailoring comes in. Interestingly, I've gotten more comfortable with form fitting things (at least gear-wise). I think physical therapy has helped with that - I've toned and strengthened some areas that I used to de-emphasize with clothing.

So I work with what I have and what is available. At some point I think I've given up on minimizing anything. It's more important that I have a super bra on top. And I don't worry if something makes my butt look big. It IS big.

2 years ago

Sal

Veteran

It is an interesting topic I agree Fashintern - and I agree that we all ahve different priorities. A whole lot of things fall into this - people who have been told they are "too tall " or "too small" may want to look more or less petite than they are, and in some cultures curves are viewed differently.

For me, my main two flattery concerns are around my short waist and my short neck. And they both come with similar solutions - open necklines, not too many horizontal lines etc..

2 years ago

Active Member

I am really happy with being straight up and down but I noticed all the outfits I liked the best and made me feel the best, were ones where I was balanced on top and bottom. The key for that was highlighting the waist or simultaneously highlighting both shoulders and hip (I don't have a big bust but my shoulders would make me look top heavy if not balanced by hips) so I guess I do like the conventional image...but without realising it, in a way. I suppose it is an inbuilt preference for symmetry.

2 years ago

Sally

Veteran

I read Angie's post on short waists and have developed the habit of doing mostly what she recommends through trial and error. I think that my main flattery concerns have always been my waist and my stomach (which has never been flat) so I"ve learnt to hide or flatter those areas. So I suppose I do dress to flatter to some extent. However if I really like a style I will try to find a way for it to work with my bodytype.

2 years ago

Category