Interesting question, elisabeth! I am nearing 40 myself, and wondering about the same sorts of issues too. For example, I was in Banana Republic and tried on some white shorts and they looked good and fit well, but I wasn't sure if they were too short to wear "at my age" (they're a 5" inseam)--wondering if I should keep looking for some clams or capris? I've never been much of a bermuda short wearer (they look like mom shorts to me), but now that I am actually a mom and nearing 40, maybe I should stop wearing real shorts? My mom often dresses younger than I do (she likes to shop at Forever 21)--when my daughter gets older I don't want her to be embarrassed in front of her friends if I am dressing like her (like kellygirl said), but then again I don't want to dress like a grandma either.

I think it's funny that in the Already Pretty link that was posted earlier, one of the few "don'ts" on the list was Paul Frank t-shirts. Guess I need to finally put up my collection on eBay. Most of those shirts don't fit anymore post-baby, but still, can't I wear the ones that still fit in an ironic way?

I don't wear mini skirts anymore, but I wonder if it's just because midi skirts are in style now and my eye has readjusted. Plenty of women of all ages wore miniskirts in the 60's!

I love the contrast between Mo's two pics! The second one is definitely more sophisticated looking.

So elisabeth, what is on your "don'ts" list?

I'm 45 and here are some rules I follow relative to my age:

* If I can't figure out how to put it on then it's too youthful for me. Several times in the last year I've pulled a top off the rack only to be unable to figure out what part goes where, aside from the neck opening.

* If it's something I see teenyboppers or early twenty-somethings wearing a lot it's too youthful for me. This is relative though as skinnies used to be excluded due to this rule when they first came out but obviously now they're adult wearables.

I'm chiming in here to say that I agree with everything cheryl posted. I'll be 51 in July, and my style hasn't really changed that much over the years. The styles I avoid are pretty much the styles I've always avoided. The only major change for me has been with shoes. Now that I have bunions, I wear shoes that disguise them. When my legs or other body parts get to where they don't look so good, I'm sure I'll make other minor adjustments to my wardrobe; but until then, my age doesn't play much of a role in what I decide to wear. IMO, it's all about wearing what suits my personality, my personal coloring, and my body type. Beyond that, who cares if I'm in my 50s? This business of dressing a certain way because you're a certain age is silly.

Mo, I see what you mean about outfit #1. There's nothing too revealing about it, but it's definitely more girlish than outfit #2. It sounds like you and I are on the same page when it comes to recent fashion choices. I'm edging away from "cute and a little scruffy" and trying to achieve "chic and poised". Whether or not I succeed is up for debate, though...especially the scruffy part....sadly I'm not one of those women who still looks polished by 5 p.m., no matter how hard I try.

TeeandCee -- what you said about it being too youthful if you can't figure out how to put it on made me laugh out loud!

GP, I know what you mean about the short shorts. I'd still wear them, because let's face it, short shorts aren't, in fact, all that short on me -- but I do have thoughts of "will I look silly or chic in this?" these days. My figure hasn't changed much since I was a teenager, but I don't want people to mistake me for one from the back!

So to answer your question, I don't have a huge list of don'ts, but there are some things I wear differently now. Like graphic tee shirts -- if I wear one, I don't wear it with torn jeans and flip flops. I don't wear flip flops so much anymore either, unless it's somewhere very casual, like the park or the beach. I bought a pair of UGGs three years ago because I think they're cute and omg they are SO comfy, but I only wore them outside once, and felt ridiculous. So I keep them for what they are meant for: use as house slippers. If I'm doing a particularly disheveled hairstyle, I don't wear scruffy clothes that day; I wear something more polished. I still wear short skirts, but if my legs are bare, I have to pair the skirt with tall boots or I feel naked.

There are also things I do now that I wouldn't have five years ago. I buy more fitted clothing, and I pay a LOT more attention to achieving a good fit, even for looser items. I wear high heels with knee-length skirts. I never used to do this. Now I wear high heels whenever it's possible and appropriate. It just feels good -- more "grown up" -- but I had no interest in high heels in my 20s and even early 30s. I wear skirts and casual dresses a lot more. I wear fewer stretchy knit tops and more structured woven ones. I've developed a keen interest in good quality coats and shoes. There are probably more things, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head. I guess my main goal is not not look too girlish. I'm ready for people to call me Ma'am at the grocery store!

I have NO DOUBT that you are going to look even more stylish in your 40s than ever, Elisabeth. So many women end up looking their stylish best in their 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s.

I will be 42 in a few weeks and really, I am having more fun with fashion than ever before. I really like what Suz, Mo, Kelly, Christieanne and Cheryl said - although everyone makes excellent points.

I saw an ad for the newest episode of "What Not to Wear" and this lady is all, "I'm over 40, you know." Like the grave was her next stop in life. I think Stacey's jaw hit the floor, because I'm sure she's over 40 too.

Anyways, I think as an over 40 I don't want to be caught wearing the latest high school/college TRENDS (skinnies and converse aren't trends, but staples btw... LOL) (oh, and the current trend is what I call "super drab"). You don't want to dress like you don't really have anywhere to go and no one expects much of you.

*whispering*

I wear short shorts.

I hate the idea of someone telling me that just because I'm a certain age, I have to restrict myself to certain styles, most of which look matronly. I think I exercise discretion in choosing outfits that are appropriate for the occasion and that don't make people think I'm trying to pass myself off as a 20-year-old. If other women my age want to wear frumpy clothes because they feel too old to be stylish, let 'em. That's not the way I choose to be! I want to look nice for as long as possible. There will undoubtedly come a day when I'll be old and sick and unable to look fab, but even then I'll want to look my best.

Ruth, I couldn't agree more. But I don't think that "age-appropriate dressing" equals "matronly if you're over 40". I'm not planning on looking matronly -- ever. Even though I am, in fact, a matron.

I still think there's such a thing as age-appropriate dressing, though, and there are certain items -- like frayed denim short shorts -- that tend to look totally appropriate on a 20 year old and not, generally, on a 50-year old. Although there are always exceptions!

Amen to what Ruth said! I mean, I want to look forward to turning 30, 40, 50 and so on - why strip away all the fun and verve from dressing by adding all these rules? I think any aged person with an upbeat, possibly goofy personality and great sense of humor can wear a Paul Frank tee. And anyone who is adventurous and edgy can wear the latest trends. Now, if you've lost your silly, goofy, adventurous side with age, that is one thing. I think it happens to many as they take on more responsibility and are less interested in risk - but not to everyone!

Elisabeth - I think you and I are on the same page! Goodness, there is a WHOLE SLEW of stylish options between dressing like a teen and dressing like a grandmother! (A grandmother, who presumably wouldn't be featured on Advanced Style, that is.)

To answer your question, while I'm not yet 40, there are things I've given up as a result of both age and life station (wife and mother to two young girls):
* short shorts
* non-bra-friendly tops (spaghetti strap tanks, etc)
* hoodies
* minis

I am getting into structure and tailoring. I prefer my knit "sweaters" to be in jacket form, for example. There are other things, too, but I have to dash!

I'll openly admit my age, but I don't want strangers or people I've just met to look at me and immediately guess my age. Does that make sense? LOL! I don't want anyone thinking "there goes a 50-something-year-old woman trying to dress like she's a teenager," but at the same time I don't want to dress frumpy or matronly and give away my age. As long as I can pass myself off as being a decade or so younger than I actually am, I will do it! I don't mentally or physically feel like I'm 50 anyway, so why look that way? I think it's all in the attitude. I know people who act and look older than they actually are, and think it's really sad to be that way. Maybe the fact that I have high school and college aged daughters still living at home with me makes a big difference. My DH also works out at the gym every day and looks/feels younger than he is. We both think you're as young as you feel, and we do everything we can to keep ourselves in shape. I've lost, little by little, a total of 17 pounds since my gallbladder surgery and am feeling better than ever. I have no intention of slowing down any time soon, and my style is going to reflect that.

This topic has always been of interest to me - ever since i was in elementary school. I had three teachers with fantastic style - sporty, classic, and arty boho in their 40's, 50's and 30's respectively. I NEVER equated age with lack of style, in fact from the evidence of my own eyes i could see that the reverse was true.

Frankly, i love dressing my age - after all, it's who i am now. But the big reason is that i've been learning and practicing about style, sewing clothing, working with detail and proportion and color all these years and i'm *better* at dressing myself stylishly now than i was in my twenties or thirties! Why in the world would i want to go back and lose all that fun and experience? Not to mention giving up the great hats, shoes, bags, and jewelry i've managed to pick up along the road. No way.

I agree that the vast bulk of 'over 40 dressing rules' are sheer hogwash. At the same time, pretending like i'm the same person i was ten years ago isn't for me. As rae put it, we need to change to stay fresh and up to date. If that means getting older, that's fine with me. It's how we choose to use our time here that makes the difference.

And as mom always said - it beats the alternative steph

Hmmm, I guess I didn't really consider the *fashion over 40* question because at that age, I had just become a mother and was too preoccupied to think about fashion. I think dressing to one's body becomes more important as one ages simply because if one doesn't, it just looks so much worse than when one was younger.

Short/shorter shorts: Well, at least for me, I have cellulite in my thighs that wasn't there when I was a teen. Who wants to see THAT? And more jiggles despite the exercise. And my knees are looking more like an elephant's with each passing year. But for women who don't have these issues, rock the look while you can!

Shoes: Wear what you want while you can!!! Foot issues may kick in as you age so that you can no longer wear those cute heels or whatever due to bunion, arthritis, loss of foot padding and the like. But if you are starting to have problems like bunions, do not aggravate them by wearing heels constantly; you don't want those bunions to grow!

Junior clothes: They tend to be fast fashion and flimsy. This means that those thinner fabrications show all those loose bits and jiggly parts that seem to increase by the year. If you lack those flaws, more power to you if you can wear these clothes that actually never fit my body very well. But stuff that looks ridiculous on teens (Uggs with short shorts) looks even more ridiculous the older one is.

Cutesy or frilly: I think this is a tough look to pull off even for teens! I used to be drawn to cute, but at 58 I am more drawn to funky or tough. . . .Maybe I have matured. . . .

"(oh, and the current trend is what I call "super drab"). You don't want to dress like you don't really have anywhere to go and no one expects much of you. "

ahahaha - Rachylou, I always look forward to how you crack me up. You describe things like no one else. Those images are like brainworms that corkscrew their way in and stay lodged.

Ditto what Vildy said. Rachylou, your perspective is always both hilarious and unique.

If you're looking for lists, the only thing I could think of for myself (I'm 31) MIGHT be my short shorts but I won't really know about that until I get there. I have never worn really short dresses/skirts, or over revealing clothing (my husband has long called me a skin prude in the most loving way of course ). So I think it'll just be a blip on the road of my style journey. 40 is just a round number, anyway. Who says base 10 is the best base system?