Tanya, i think of you often, and sending you my warmest tboughts and prayers. I wish i was closer. Hang in there and post as often as you feel like.
Next year at this time, this will all be a bad memory. Big gentle hugs..

Sending you a virtual hug and healing thoughts dear Tanya. You have been through so much, but you are almost there. Illness, particularly cancer, scares people. They don't mean to be insensitive, but they don't know what to do or say.

YLF will always be here for you. Focus on the positive, and let that be your light and path forward.

Tanya, I admire you and appreciate your sense of dress that I have admired through your posts.

You are courageous and an inspiration to me. You are invited to join me, my son and his family in the Chicago are, but I know you are too far away to come. I will remember you this holiday. So sorry you have to go through this.

I wish you the best for the holiday and wish I could take away some of your pain.

Hi Tanya, Good to hear from you! I agree with the schedule idea. If you don't have much of an appetite, then just treat food as medicine and try to consume it as regularly as you can. Fruit smoothies can be good and you can add honey for extra calories.
As for the Thanksgiving holiday, I would recommend watching a movie series. My favorites are Harry Potter, LOTR, X-Men. I've watched so many times now that I feel like i am actually in company of friends. Might work for you, too.

This just breaks my heart, Tanya. I wish I were closer so I could share some holiday cheer with you.

I don't know if there's any real solution to the food problem. Scheduling times to each and sticking to them is important, as well as eating as calorie rich foods as you can. In addition to the shakes, puddings and ice cream can be good. Sometimes it's good to vary the texture or consistency of things you eat.

I know you're hurting from how your friends have behaved. It's really hard to see someone you care about suffering. I'm not excusing them, but some people just aren't cut out to handle it. During my father's illness, it never failed to surprise us which of our friends slowly disappeared from the scene. At the same time, we discovered some friends and caregivers were the most amazing, generous and supportive people you could imagine.

It's not you at all. It's the situation. There are no two ways around it, being ill sucks.

You're in my thoughts.

((hugs))

Is it too embarassing to admit that I like baby food still and occasionally eat a jar? Haha. I can cover by saying sometimes when my blood sugar is low but I don't want to eat, a jar of baby food really does the trick.

My neighbor and I were discussing community last night. We often do because we're old world people living in the new world. Our neighborhood is definitely johnny come lately. Anyways, a neighbor of ours has gone into hospital and his live-in lady friend did not tell us. We saw her three times in a row and she said nothing. There's a whole story behind her, and we're sure she's overwhelmed, but still... Anyways again, puts us in a spot. The old world way would be to bring her some dinners so she didn't have to cook - that would be helpful, right? - but we can't. She not the sort to get Maggie Smith's line in Downton Abbey, "I've plenty of friends I do not like." Haha. She probably wouldn't trust the food, wouldn't eat them.

Anyways a third time, I'm sorry you're not here Tanya. I can tell you would take pity on us. We could make you casseroles that you'd take and throw out without telling us because you hate casserole...

Hi Tanya,
I have been missing from the forum from the past few years.I am sorry to hear about your heath issues.My heart is breaking just reading about it.I am visiting some friends during the weekend in DC and would love to come and say hi,if that is okay with u.I can PM u my cell no. and we can talk.

Give yourself permission to look after you, if others can't give it to you, make sure you are your own best friend. Be kind to yourself, relax and recover. xxx

Aw, Tanya, people can be such jerks sometimes. But I'm with Shannon in saying that you have absolutely no reason to be embarrassed at telling your friends you need their help to get through this period.

Angie, though, is right in saying that people don't always live up to the expectations we have of them. You are a strong person who will navigate her way through this awful time. You have a lot of friends on the forum, so use us as your support system when you feel discouraged or upset. Our hugs might be virtual but the feelings behind them are very real.

Tanya, my heart breaks with you when I think about your friends. You are so strong by putting all this down in writing. I am just amazed at your strength. If I were closer and would be right there with you. Please take care.

Hi Tanya

I am so sorry that you are going through this. My only suggestion is maybe to be even more direct. People are wrapped up in their own worlds and may feel like everyone else is rallying round and they're not needed. I really feel privileged if a friend is direct and confident enough to ask me for specific help.

Wishing you all the best!

x

Hey T

I'm with Hil. Sometimes people just don't know what you need or how little you actually need or how to give you what you need.

Ask

I wish I lived closer to you.

~

Btw, have you thought of capturing the thoughts you have right now, as you go through the process? Some day this will all be behind you and you'll forget individual thoughts... but someday it may be useful or helpful to someone. A blog... a private diary... just a thought.

Tanya, I do hope you risked some uncomfortableness and reached out to to your friends. I'm antsy over the thought that you are dealing with this alone. I really wish I could share my Thanksgiving meal with you. You have been in my prayers and I'm so proud of how brave and resilient you are. I'll be checking this thread if you want to chat on Thanksgiving. <Hugs>

Hi Tanya,

First and foremost, I want to wish you a very happy Thanksgiving. Thank you for reaching out to me. I am in awe of your determination and stamina. I hope that at the minimum, this holiday break gives you a chance to recharge before radiation resumes.

I am very sorry that you feel abandoned somewhat. I can relate so much to your feelings. When I fell ill, with the anxiety attacks, I became a recluse and cut contact with the outside world, including YLF! My mind was gone and at the worst moments, I was unable to hold a conversation. I was not able to cultivate any relationships, really. I understand the distancing is partially on me, but I also think that most friends kind of "moved on" and forgot about me. I became old news. One year later, when I got better, I found myself with many strained friendships and relationships. Some of them will never be the same. The only thing that did not suffer was my career, due to having an AMAZING boss, and my family dynamics. The whole distancing and abandonment, is a sad "side effect" some of us go through, that no one even considers. Sometimes, kidness comes from the most unexpected places and that is what I held on and I am grateful for. I wish I was closer, so we could celebrate together.

Stay positive and have a relaxing day today.

XO

Lina

Just wanted to wish you an early "good morning" from California (not so early for you) and hope you have a pleasant day. Relax, snooze, heal.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I just wanted to wish you a happy thanksgiving. Sending virtual hugs and healing thoughts.

Hi Tanya, sending some hugs your way. My sister was taking a food supplement called Ensure when she was having some issues and was not able to eat much. It's a high calorie nutritional supplement. It has 350 calories and comes in different flavors. My sis seemed to think it was easier to drink this "shake" when she couldn't get any food down. I wish we were closer and able to help out. Keeping writing to us!