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Dressing up without sacrificing your style

LJP

Veteran

Carol's recent post about dressing for a Seder, and my own struggle with finding something to wear for my own little Easter dinner "celebration" tonight got me thinking .

How do you "dress up" when your closet is full of solids and basics and when your style goal is leaning toward a more minimal, clean look? I am moving away from statement jewellery , and have never been into the "pile on the bling" or " wear a scarf" just for the sake of oomphing up an outfit anyway.

For a dinner at home when I want to look a little "special" or that I made an effort, I usually resort to a blouse or sweater than has some sort of interest. I am also craving colour right now like crazy - maybe it's the long winter we had - but I also don't want to be buying any colourful clothes - it's not how I want to dress. My blouses are all olive or other earthy tones , and don't read as especially dressy. I don't own a sweater that qualifies as dressy either.

So what *are* those items ? I"m seeing a hole in my wardrobe . Does it become all about the fabric and jewellery (quiet but more luxurious pieces - whatever those are) when you don't want bright colour? I feel this is easier in winter when you can sub in velvet or silk and anything in those fabrics automatically looks more luxe.

Any thoughts on this ?

I'm wearing (just waiting for dinner to finish cooking while I type this) my old standby - a crazy linen/cotton print pleasant-y top from Anthropology I've posted here a million times I sure (it's orange, mauve turquoise and brown ) with jeans and gold hoop earrings. It's fine but I'd like to have more options . Photo attached but unstylish and poorly lit - just to show the blouse. .Bonus shot of my mini egg cheesecake

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Dressing

35 replies

Latest reply was from Style Fan

Sal

Veteran

I think it’s hard at home when footwear and bags and coats aren’t part of the equation. I have typically gone for silk or elevated blouses or a dress. But I am a dress person and you aren’t as much.

I wore a very similar look to the first find for our dinner on Friday at our home. I have worn the palazzo pants in a similar situation too with a sweater or tee.

I like your choice here - it looks like you made an effort but it’s still easy. And a piece of cake for me please.

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Dee

Veteran

Ouu.. cheesecake looks yummy! And your outfit looks great too.

I think perhaps you could examine the elements of this Anthro blouse to really understand what it is about it that works so well for you and then use it as a template when considering future purchases for this category of dressing.

Irina

Veteran

I have some options but in my own house, I probably would be more comfortable wearing a white button down linen shirt. Also have it in black.

My other option #2 - a black EF wool oversized button down shirt, #3 - EF silk top. Or #4 - a cotton silk mix sweater and if I feel fancy (I rarely do), I might wear it with white jeans but definitely with pearls.

LJP, couldn’t you wear a blue shirt dress with leggings? Or a new linen top?

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Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

*pass a slice of the cheese cake*

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Do you mean hosting guests at home? Or just the members of the people that live at home, LJP?

And am I right to assume that there are no shoes involved?

Indigoprint

Veteran

I rely on upscale ( to me) tunics with leggings. I have a variety..
Linen for warm weather and velvet for cold weather.
Today it is in the 40s (warmish for our region) I have on a linen knit knee length tunic with leggings..linen apron on top. It is just my close family but I like to dress "up" for holiday meals.
Flip flops on my feet.

Runcarla

Veteran

When I want to ‘signal’ that the evening meal with just the 4 of us is a little special, I’ll do it with a top - just like you. Since I’m usually doing kitchen duty, I want that top to be easy care - even if I’m wearing an apron.

If I have enough time, I’ll change up my jeans for something a little more elevated and run a brush through my hair.

If I’m not the one doing the meal prep, then all bets are off and I’m dressing up! (I’m actually kind of PO’d ‘cause someone asked us if we had tickets for the golf club Easter brunch and DH didn’t even bother to mention it! He’s at the club all the time! (Simulators and involvement with the senior men). Of course the tickets were all sold out…sheesh!).

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Anonymous

I've been off most colors too these days - but leaning towards metallics, bronze or bits of gold like my Mikah top.
Otherwise- silk/satin, lace, sheer fabrics + dressier shoes.

LaPed

Veteran

I don't think of my style as exuding quiet luxury, but looking at my dressy-ish capsule, it is very predominantly solid dark neutrals: https://youlookfab.com/finds/c.....tion=12814

It's something I've always chalked up to having absorbed a sober New England mentality. The handful of bright and patterned pieces don't feel out of place in the context of my wardrobe, but they do feel cheeky, which is essential to the way I dress up: I hate feeling like I might look like I take myself too seriously, so some element of rebellion is especially necessary in a "nice" outfit.

LJP

Veteran

To the questions - yes, this is just a 4-person family dinner at home and no one is wearing shoes . I’d like to wear the same thing ( with footwear obviously ) , say , out for dinner or a drink with a friend . I’m wearing jeans because a dresser bottom serves no purpose and no one can see it anyways . I contemplated wearing my new linen top but the sleeves don’t lend themselves well to kitchen duty. Entertaining a group is a different animal - requiring shoes and dressier pants.

Irina , I love your examples , and perhaps I just need to get used to a quieter- looking version of myself and wear what I have .

Lol- I don’t think I articulated this well- half-formed thoughts etc .

Runcarla

Veteran

@ LJP - I see what you do with your black work uniform as being ‘quietly elegant’ on the regular. Spring madness notwithstanding, I suspect you will always feel the lure of colour in your non-work wardrobe. Quietly elegant in the context of a family dinner might be a column of colour in one of your best colours. Maybe a wide leg silky olive pyjama bottom and an olive sweater with interesting texture (but sleeves that stay out of the way!)

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Interesting problem - you want to look a bit special, but not with different clothing, if I understand correctly. I have a separate wardrobe for these occasions of dresses, tunics with wide pants and skirts. Going monochromatic or tonal does seem like the most obvious no buy solution.

slim cat

Veteran

I'd do similar - pretty printed blouse ( Lucky Brand ) and jeans. Earrings, necklace and home slippers .
Love your blouse -nice shape with fun colors ( warm and cool ones together )!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

At home, with family -- I do it with a top or with colour...usually.

Different ones for different purposes and different seasons ...tonight I'm wearing a silk and cotton cardigan with jeans -- just we three, but a special dinner.

You've seen the winter ones, in Carol's thread.

But I remember my mother in the 70s had pants kind of like Sal's -- a few different pairs. Beautiful palazzos. And then she would wear a different top. It worked really well on her.

I like Carla's suggestion for quiet at home elegance -- not black but one of your best colours. I do a column of navies of different textures for that effect -- with silver stuff -- whether that be earrings or whatever.

I am also a huge fan of at home footwear. NICE footwear. Dedicated. It has been a game changer for me this past season. Wearing a structured shoe vs a sloppy slipper has made me feel human at home.

High Rise Stride Ankle Jeans with Washwell

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Bijou

Veteran

I love this blouse on you and that cake is fabulous!

Easy pieces that mix and match are what I look for and try to get something with a fabric, colour or detail to make it special.

gryffin

Veteran

Lisa - I have a small group of elevated basics. Instead of my black JCrew cotton tank, I swap out my black cashmere tank w black scattered sequins. Almost reads as polka dots but more elegant plus texture. My black lace tops too. A subtle upgrade. Instead of skinny blue jeans, I would wear my black coated skinnies or black velvet skinnies. I know you are not a belt girl but that’s my favorite area of bling. It’s about more upgraded fabrics, textures and formality with the same silhouette and color. If you don’t want to go barefoot would you consider a velvet embroidered smoking slipper? That, if it’s the right one, could give some oomph to any outfit but be plenty comfortable.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I love that blouse on you and I think a bit of pattern and color serves you well — you do seem to crave it from time to time, so I think it’s worth having some carefully chosen pieces in your wardrobe for these moments.

I really default to this same kind of formula for “nice casual” — jeans of some sort (or my black cargo joggers) + a patterned blouse. For my purposes, add footwear. It works for me, feels authentic, and is practical enough to entertain at home or go out for dinner, etc. I added some mix and match finds below.

If I were restricting myself to solid color tops, I’d default to adding a scarf or some bit of bling — statement earrings or necklace — and that would do the trick. But I have such a weakness for prints that I usually have to force myself to buy solid tops, and I feel like it’s hard to find truly luxe looking solids at a reasonable price point — prints hide a multitude of sins!

Zadig & Voltaire Zadig & Voltaire Tink Button-Front Blouse

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Nic + Zoe Marble Sky Button-Up Shirt

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7 For All Mankind Dojo Tailorless Flare Leg Jeans

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jussie

Veteran

I’d wear a nice wool jumper. Probably merino. Some earrings. Annnnnd that’s all.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Another fan of at-home footwear to elevate even basics. Since the pandemic started, I’ve amassed a small collection of indoor shoes that make me feel more “dressed up” than wearing (as Suz aptly noted) sloppy slippers. Even if shoes are under the table for most holidays, it does wonders for my psyche and to make me feel like my outfit is complete.

I love Everlane’s Day Glove shoes/mules for just this purpose.

RobinF

Veteran

I know exactly what you mean. I have several blouses that work for this purpose but don't get worn much because it is usually too cold or too hot. I am on the hunt for nicer sweaters but they can't be too warm either.

AndiB

Veteran

huh, people get dressed up for family dinners, go figure. My poor husband noted recently that he never gets to see me in all the clothes I buy. I dress for work, but have a fitness class (spinning or yoga) 4 nights a week right from work, so I arrive home in my gear. so he mostly sees me in my morning jammies, and workout gear as I throw dinner together. I am only half kidding. what I do to take things up a notch IS jewelry, or a scarf (small neckerchief, I gave away all my big scarves a few years ago). I've moved too away from big jewelry and have replaced with smaller gold pieces. Not original, it is what you see all over social media, but I wear either a medallion necklace (I have a very small one, of my zodiac sign that my daughter gave me that I cherish, and a larger one, like a coin). I wear the larger one alone, it is fairly short. The smaller I layer with one or two other chains. Now I am seeing chains with what look like fresh water pearls, not tiny, on a bit longer chain, and of course I want that now, too. Earrings, always, and I've acquired a couple "cocktail" rings, a smoky topaz and a synthetic garnet (again gifted by both my daughters) that just add that ... elevation . . . to an outfit. I wear these rings daily, to work, casual outings. I always feel "dressed" with that jewelry, even if worn per usual with a black top, darker denim on the bottom.

unfrumped

Veteran

I can really relate! Not so much for at- home, but some out of the house outfits where environmental norm is not at all dressy, but I myself want to look more polished without appearing dressy or fussy.

So many of my casual tops are thin cotton, linen or rayon blends and a bit like T’s, LS even if some have a stripe.

I agree that winter is a bit easier because.. cashmere, merino, velvet.

I think the answer for me lies in upscale knits— thicker but not hot, so cotton, linen— or an elusive heavier weight or better quality woven silk or look-alike that somehow still is spring/summer.

I have had some in the past , but in wrong colors or they shrank or other issues.

For skirts ( midis) I need a slightly boxy shorter length but of course, not TOO short, not sloppy- boxy. So kind of a HEWI. This is also the one area I can sometimes get away with seasonally- confused lightweight wool, for indoor gatherings because, air-conditioning.

I’m also realizing I no longer have as much use for “ cold spring “ heavier sweaters like cashmere in yummy spring colors, IF were not planning to wear during winter also, because that “ season “ is too short here. Better to have washable LS knit I could layer under.

Helena

Veteran

Lisa, no brilliant thoughts but just to say I had the same issue hosting family yesterday ... I ended up in a light blue blazer just to add some lightness and colour, but it didn't really make sense and I took it all and was just in a white Tshirt and black jeans all day ... Doesn't scream spring festivities does it lol. My thought is that, having my minimal essentials in good shape, I probably need a few pieces that are occasion specific ... Similar to my "Christmas top" but one each for spring, summer and fall.

I also find the current jeans look makes this trickier ... It was so easy to dress up dark skinnies, trickier with light baggy jeans, esp if one isn't into dramatic heels to balance them ... Haven't figured that one out yet ... Sorry I'm just adding problems to the list now haha!!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

What Carla and Suz said.

I wear what I normally wear! Dressy. Pearls. Dresses and skirts too. But sometimes with slippers or just footies. With guests I put on shoes downstairs.

But since I am cooking and hosting, I throw on an apron sometimes, and make sure my sleeves can be pushed out the way.

rachylou

Veteran

This is a serious question. I’m still thinking about it. My personal answer is wear a frilly but sturdy dress, but that doesn’t address solids and minimalism.

LJP

Veteran

It did make me realize how much I could use a cream mule or loafer . I’ve been keeping an eye out but haven’t seen anything I like yet . Shoes do add an element of dressiness , I agree . I’d love to find a spring /summer weight olive knit and did just order an interesting piece from Massimo Dutti the other day . It’s sleeveless though , so no idea how it will look .

Irina

Veteran

Interesting about shoes. We don’t wear shoes at home, so I can’t imagine being only one in a family wearing it at dinner. But that’s me
Hope the olive top from MD works for you.

LJP

Veteran

Irina - we don’t either and I wouldn’t be wearing them for a family dinner . For entertaining , yes .

judy

Veteran

I think you look great...comfortable and dressy enough! To go dressier, I think eliminating very faded denim and sneakers goes a long way...and wearing blouses helps too. I like how you did a darker denim, lovely blouse and simple hoop earrings...and nail polish too!

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