A very good topic indeed, and Rae, I feel you!
I too have dealt with some major issues concerning the shape of my body and style (and truthfully, still am). In my teens I had more of a boy's figure with my strong shoulders and slim rear and hips, a true IT. After 8 years of dressing like a boy I was devastated when I noticed that I still looked like a guy regardless of puberty's miracle work. It felt like a sick joke from nature, because I wanted to enter the wonderful world of girly stuff but my body didn't fit in.
I still need petticoats if I want my skirts and dresses to look nice. However, in time I figured out style is a choice, not some destiny that falls upon you. People can have control over these things. It doesn't necessarily even require a total overhaul of one's wardrobe, although it is a liberating experience.
It's all between our ears. If I feel awful, I can't expect the view from my mirror to seem any better. Just like style, also happiness is a choice. It's difficult to acquire, but definitely worth it.
I try to remember this, when I look at my bank account and see just how much money I have spent on clothing and then recall how much I spent back in the days when I wore combat trousers and t-shirts. "It's for self liberation!"
One of my victories on my quest to embrace my body type is that recently I stopped worrying about weight gain. I'm naturally slim, but for years and years I deliberately kept myself skinny, and can't even remember why. I just did. 123 lbs. is not alarming, but a tad too little for 5'8 ft person.
We'll see, if I develop some curves from a healthy diet. If I don't, well,
I suppose that's how it goes.