Does Anyone Else Do This? - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Does Anyone Else Do This?

DonnaF

Veteran

I seem to have some type of
psychological quirk that says a new item needs to *ripen* in my closet
until it is *safe* to wear it. Sure, I often hold off wearing something and keep the tags on until I am 100% certain I am keeping it, and sometimes the weather isn't quite right. But even then, I find I don't wear the item much for a season or two or three, then I wear the heck out of it. It is hard for me to wear *fresh* items. I am trying to get over my habit of *saving* my nice stuff which resulted in them rarely getting worn, much less worn out. Is this just another version? How can I feel worthy?

Dressing

25 replies

Latest reply was from Archer

Peri

Veteran

I think there was a while team wear or team save thread awhile back, so no, you aren't the only one.

Saving things "for nice" is probably how a person was brought up. I know my best friend does this. But I would worry that I'd be tired of something or it would not work any more for some reason, before I ever even wore it. That would make me feel more guilty than not saving would.

rachylou

Veteran

That's interesting. You don't, by any chance, have an objection to being trendy? I mean a lot of people do have one. It's a point of principle that's a part of their style.

abc

Veteran

I have a habit of placing new items to the side in my closet rather than incorporating them into the normal space where they fit, organizationally speaking, in my closet. I tend to save things, too. I need to be on Team Wear and learn that I should enjoy my clothes and not save them for some occassion that may or may not come up. We all have work to do to get over our hangups, that's for sure. Thanks for sharing, at least we are not alone.

bj1111

Veteran

YES...i am an early trend buyer, but a middle trend wearer. eg. i got a peplum jacket in 2008 from australia. i did not wear it until about 2010.

nancylee

Veteran

I used to "save" special purchases to wear on the perfect day. But lately I'm more inclined to wear something new right away. A big part of this is because (I think) I'm making better choices and fewer mistakes when I buy. In fact, this is sort of key: If I don't feel like wearing it right away, maybe it wasn't a good buy.

Maybe you're holding onto these new items while you puzzle out how they fit into your wardrobe...?

Thistle

Veteran

I am on Team Wear. I know a piece was a good buy if I wear it within a week of buying it.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

NO WAY! Absolutely no ripening for me. I need to wear my new stuff asap. I can leave the store wearing a brand new piece.

I get upset when I have to wait because something was bought for an occasion or the weather isn't co-operating. Team Wear by a trillion billion percent.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

You last question intriqued me... How can you feel worthy? You are absolutley worthy and need to repeat that mantra until you are giddy and dancing with joy at the truth of that. It really is that easy, Treat Yourself like you would your very best friend....

Carla

Veteran

I'm team wear, usually within the week of purchase. That said, over a dozen years ago I picked up a purple velvet blazer at an outlet store for $25. It was just too good to pass up, and fit like a dream. I barely wore it in the first 5 years. I brought it with me on a trip, and used it almost every day. Now it is in very regular circulation. Weird that.

DonnaF

Veteran

Yeah, sometimes after not wearing something for quite awhile it suddenly becomes a workhorse! That's why I'm not quick to purge. Or some years, we have more hot days. Or more cold days. So the clothing for the extremes get worn more.

In the last few months, I was Team Wear on a couple of purchases: My silver oxfords, my white jeans skirt, and the first pullover (jumper) I've had for years and years. I'm pretty proud of myself over that! After a dozen wears, the $50 oxfords are getting pretty trashed, however, so I picked up $42 silver Tildon oxfords which for some reason seem to fit better than the ones I bought and returned a few months ago. Couldn't get a fit on the Sam Edelman $200 silver oxfords!

I'm starting to backslide into my old Team Save ways, however. It's partly because I want to be absolutely sure about a purchase and confident that I will wear it often after the initial thrill fades. I am pretty good about avoiding orphans, but less skilled at identifying why I don't reach for a particular piece that fits and flatters.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I am solidly on Team Wear. Like Angie, I've been known to wear it right out of the store! And like Nancy, if I don't at least want to wear it immediately, I tend to suspect that it wasn't a good purchase.

How can you feel worthy? Maybe test it out gently by wearing the item at home first. This also would allow you to return it (if you do this quickly) and get a genuine sense of whether it's really 'you.'

You are worthy, of course!! No question about that. But perhaps you just feel more comfortable with items that seem familiar. And there's no sin in that, at all.

Wendi1984

I usually wear a new item within a week. I bought a floral blazer in late March, and just returned it last week because I hadn't worn it. I have some definite wants for my wardrobe right now, so I didn't want to hang onto something that wasn't working.

Mia

Veteran

I have been thinking about my tendency to do this and still have not figured it out. I am particularly prone to "save" an item if it is dry clean only. Something in my upbringing I think where we were required to "save" clothes "for good"?

I too am slow to purge if I like the item, it fits and is current. Sometimes I surprise myself by wearing the heck out of something the season after I buy it or even further along. I tell myself as long as I get the CPW in the end it's ok.

Anonymous

Like Suz said, I'm finding that it may be best to pass on any item that I don't want to wear immediately. It helps me to post keep/return photos here to see if others think the item is a good purchase, fit, etc. Feedback from the Forum gives me the confidence to take off the tags and wear it or to return it and look for something better.

Echo

Veteran

I tend to do some serious "girl math" in order to convince my self to buy things. So, like Suz, if I don't wear something soon after purchasing, I know it probably wasn't a good purchase and I return the item. It is very rare for me that if I don't wear something soon after purchasing that I will wear it at all. I am really striving to be on Team Wear.

catgirl

Veteran

I am generally on Team Wear but I have a few things I left to ripen in my closet and forgot that I then re-discovered and used all the time. I used to hoard for fear of ruining a new item. Now I don't worry about it as much and try to embrace Angie's philosophy of wearing the heck out of my clothes.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I find I tend to save the more expensive and more delicate items. Affordable and or durable get put on pretty much ASAP. To me, this signals that I'm worried about ruining things more than I am truly saving them. Note to self, buy less delicate things in the future LOL.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

I am on team wear too, but I find it takes me longer to wear something if it is an item that I am not used to wearing, something out of my comfort zone. I need to pluck up the courage. Once I do though, it is all good!

Ingunn

(website)

Veteran

I'm on Team Wear in general, but a few items needed "ripening", for example a silk tunic I loved, then fell out of love with, but now I think it deserves its place. It took me six months to wear it out of the house. Worthy or not is not an issue for me - I rather believe in trying to wear my most expensive purchases A LOT to justify the spending. That means that I need to get started with it asap. Of course you are worthy of pretty clothes! We all are.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I am on Team Wear 111%! I have also been known to leave the store, take off what I'm wearing (in a ladies room, of course!) and put on the new item.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

For me, the only limiting factor is weather. A lot of times I have to buy before the real season hits my location -- so things sit in the closet waiting for the weather they require to wear. Frustrating, but necessary.

rute

Veteran

Not me! I'm on team wear!

DonnaF

Veteran

Y'all have given me a lot to think about and much resonated with me! Maybe Mia and I share the same parents: We had *save* our clothes *for good* -- which of course meant they were outgrown before they wore out! And that dovetails into what Mo said about the fear of ruining expensive or delicate clothing and Mia's hesitation with dry clean only items. So now, virtually all my toppers, including blazers, are machine washable!

I still struggle with trendy/YLF bandwagon purchases, stretching my comfort zone, and asking if something is really *me*, as well as those purchases I've kept that are cut a bit stodgier than optimum. [Foxcroft and Lands End shirts, I'm looking at YOU!] At least I've never regretted a return, and I've made plenty.

Gabrielle

I am on team "save." As someone said, it might have been how I was brought up. I want desperately to move from team "save" to team "wear" and have not yet figured out how to do this.

Kate sent me a spreadsheet that calculates how much I wear an item and what its cost per wear is. I am hoping that as I work through her spreadsheet I will see that all my favorites are not being worn in favor of items that I just tolerate. I hope to hone my wardrobe choices using her spreadsheet. It may take some time, but it will be worth it.

Archer

Veteran

usually asap- unless in glut proportions, when I have too much free time.