Do you have a feast or famine wardrobe mentality? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you have a feast or famine wardrobe mentality?

unfrumped

Veteran

I've been famine-oriented, but am working out of that over the past year or so.

It's been a combination of personality/mentality and a lack of style focus. Improving style focus helps with narrowing down what I actually want to wear and having a a glimmer of a vision for the next iteration of pants or tops or silhouette. So there is some fun not in just having the right outfits, but in anticipating them. SYC and outfit creation have helped show that there truly is "enough" to keep me clothed, so is a reality check. "Enough" doesn't mean no more clothes, but means not having as much pressure to hold on or stock up on things that aren't 10's.

I think if I lived closer to a greater variety of B&M stores it would both help and hurt! I'd be tempted by all the good stuff that is too easy to bring home and might grow roots, but would also be able to try out more things more easily ( I'm lookin' at you, first-name-basis postal worker!). Trying a wider range of things keeps you aware that the "right" thing will probably turn up, or you can compare fits and not settle, or find a new direction, or replace something and not have to have too many dupe's. So I have to find ways to keep that same mentality going but not be inundated with packages.

So, more editing and tossing is underway! It also helps me keep whittling down my "holding zone" to fewer items which have specific purpose in the ebb and flow of fashion and lifestyle.

22 replies

Latest reply was from minimalist

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Nodding my head, especially with the lack of B&M options. A lot of my issues around 'does this fit?' is because I don't have a roomful of options to compare, just the one lonely item that came in the mail lol.
I also realized some time ago that I have 'enough' and planning my purchases for the year really made shopping cohesive for me. (I've already got next year's list started!)

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I wish I had more B&M options too - my postal worker knows my door code already; but really there's not much in my area that appeals to my aesthetic.

I guess I feast and famine too, depending on what the eBay gods throw at me.

unfrumped

Veteran

I guess this can be interpreted more than one way!
You could "feast" and buy lots. For me, feast mentality means thinking there's a lot out there and I can get it later or when I really need or really want something.

This varies with the clothing item (dress lengths = famine !--though Angie says a feast is coming)

Mo

(website)

Veteran

That is where my list helps. I have it in mind, but can search over time to find the right version. I don't have the impending sense that if I don't hunt it down immediately, I'm going to lose out. That used to be much more my shopping M.O.

unfrumped

Veteran

Exactly, Mo. That is where improving style focus helps. Less impending famine.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think I fall someplace in between these poles. I am not a hoarder or a buyer-up-of multiples in things I like, and never have been. Mr. Suz, on the other hand -- now that is a whole different story. He'd have the same sweater in every colour of the rainbow if he had his druthers. I've always been mystified by this.

On the other hand, I'm not at all confident that there will always be great stuff easily available to me, either. Because frankly, there isn't a whole lot when it comes to B&M shopping in my town. Mona will attest to that, too. Occasionally we get lucky. Mostly, it's mail order, and we have few options.

And I'm more than capable of buying up an item "just in case" -- witness my purchase of the David Meister dress "just in case" I have a dressy, fairly conservative event to attend.

Anonymous

Well, I feasted for my Spring/Summer wardrobe but not to the point of being overwhelmed. I have been a little more PPP too.
As for Autumn winter, I am in a bit of a famine at the moment. I actually think a bit of a feast wouldn't go amiss for me with regards to sweaters and skirts for Fall. As for B&M and Internet, I do some of both. I agree that it is good to try a lot of things on in a store, yet you can't play with pairing an item with other pieces from your wardrobe till you get home. But it is nice to see and feel many fabrications and compare things in a store. I still like to mix it up depending on how much time I have to spare. Going out shopping can take good chunk of time if you want to visit several shops. Comparisons on-line are quicker.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh definitely, I'm the let them eat cake type.

Sarah A

Veteran

Yes, not having lots of B&M options makes it harder to try things out to see if they feel right. And this is where i might get into trouble buying things becuase I think they are intersting when just trying them on in a larger shop might be enough to say they are a no go. Then having to be strict with the returns and hoping to get them back before the credit card cycles and is a zillion dollars of stuff not kept. It's a hassle.

I think trying to remember we live in times of great feasting and will always be another xyz available to purchase next month, (year?) is very helpful (but I am not very good at doing it yet). I'd like to take the longer term approach and feel like I am not impulse purchasing. Sales are the worst for creating this purchase time pressure for me, yet I am having a very hard time breaking myself from shopping at these types of online retailers (sierra trading post, 6 pm, etc).

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

A definite year of feast this past year as I had success losing 42 lbs and was starting from scratch.. On top of that recognizing that I always had bare minimums and never really took great care of myself... an epidemic among young mothers...
My kids have been calling this year my mid-life crisis... Well if this is it, I am proud of how I've handled it and taking better care of myself.

I have slowed this down and my want list these days has very few, more focused choices. In fact only three things,,, a leather jacket in tobacco color, a leather skirt and light colored booties.

flowergirl

(website)

I purchased quite a few items from Boden a few years ago, and I find that I can still wear the thin sweaters. I also bought heavier wool cardigans over the years and these are too bulky under a coat. So, I am in the famine stage I suppose.

Nova

I used to rarely shop even when I did have wardrobe needs. Now I am more balanced in how I deal with my wardrobe. However, I run into the problem of not having a place to shop since I live in a small community. This could be a bit of a blessing though as it forces me to wait to make purchases and by then I have my list edited and ready to go.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I nibble and snack all season long.

Thistle

Veteran

I wish I were more like Angie and nibbles and snacked all season long. I don't like shopping, so I make myself do it, and almost all of it is online. So, there will be a sudden influx of packages, returns, and then all is quiet.

I really wish I liked shopping better.

I do not have a lot of choices for B&M, but more than some. My biggest issue is my toddler. She makes it difficult for me to shop with her, and DH is never thrilled to be left home alone with her. Not that I blame him! She is a mega handful for either of us.

He has actually told me he prefers me to shop online as then I can take my time and make a good decision rather than a rushed one at the store.

Susie

Veteran

Based on the number of items I purchased so far this year, I definitely feasted. BUT I've taken time to analyze why a purchase didn't work out and why I purged certain items. And I have become more picky. I've stopped buying things just because, or because it's on sale. Now I want to truly love what I buy. So I anticipate that my purchases should slow down.

Carole

Veteran

I relate to your philosophy! have the cure....moving has changed how I think about my closet. We have recently moved from a 3300 sf home to an 1800 sf rental (we are building a new home). Trying to find space for all of our things was a huge eyeopener, especially in the closet. I am determined to continuing downsizing my closet and be ever so thoughtful about what I add to it. Having to manage, take care of, organize all of this stuff is very humbling.

Runcarla

Veteran

Rationing! I like a small, curated wardrobe, but what I used to think was good quality (and WAS in the B&M stores available to me) no longer suits. Since I no longer want to 'settle' for something, I am now making a specific effort to extend business or activity related travel to larger communities, to allow for time to shop. DH and I are actually taking an extended weekend trip to Toronto in November, specifically to shop for clothing!

Thanks to what I have learned from following YLF, I have a 'look book' of specific items that I will use to inform my shopping.

So, though it is famine most of the time, the feast is controlled!

unfrumped

Veteran

Interesting new approaches!

I have considered myself to be in the "famine mode" based on FEELING as if I don't have enough things to wear,even though I do, and so buying some types of items I don't need more or not realizing that the item won't do what I wanted--so not starving in the sense of being in a no-buy phase, but tending to feel the pantry is not completely stocked. So I'm trying to work away from that, and get the right amount of items for the right occasions. I think this is improving with more discernment, thanks to YLF.

DonnaF

Veteran

Pre-YLF, I'd gone over 15 years without doing any real shopping. I hate low rise pants/jeans because they don't fit or flatter; same with empire and flowy tops, and I was somehow convinced that was the only thing that stores stocked because I always felt so rushed going into B&M stores. Guess that's a famine? Then, DD grew up and I had more time, but I still feel overwhelmed with the plethora of B&M stores available in my urban area.

Then, I discovered YLF and Nordstrom online. There's more styles I like these days, but I was also raised with the thinking that you have to wear out clothing, so it is hard not to go overboard quantity wise, especially since I tend to want to duplicate stuff like Ts and buy in multiple colors. But yes, I have purged all my old clothing except for socks and the like.

I have a huge number of items in my Nordstrom Wish List awaiting markdowns; this is how I avoid sale goggles. I try to check them out locally if they are available. Some things I remove after I decide they aren't quite right for whatever reason, and I've occasionally removed stuff even after a 40% markdown if my heart doesn't go pitter-patter.

But!!! I am still trying to figure out where I am on the knit vs. woven continuum in terms of both bottom and top layering, so I swing between feeling I have enough and not so much.

Elly

Veteran

This has been a problem for me in the past. I have to travel to shop brick and mortar, and with the high cost of returns and issues with our post, I usually do my shopping in 1 or 2 big trips a year. I developed a sense of desperation associated with these trips and a fear of not having what I needed or anything to wear if I didn't find it in one weekend, which really isn't friendly to the way the fashion industry works and the continued rollout throughout the season, and quick sell-out of other items. I ended up with a lot of so so clothes bought dirt cheap that stuck around but didn't do much for me.

Now, I try to go slow, hold out for the right thing and consider how I can use things-- function reigns supreme.

unfrumped

Veteran

Elly, I know what you mean. When I made a trip to a bigger-city mall (with Nordie's!) I really had to fight that sense of now-or-never.

minimalist

Veteran

I've been in famine mode for a while; thanks for this topic, Unfrumped.

Looking at various minimalist-wardrobe lists, I have fewer items than they recommend. And the items I do have aren't the right ones.