I think I dress to be noticed. I often wear dark colors because I'm weight conscious but ultimately I want to stand out and wear clothes that feature my best assets, mostly the skin of my arms, back and decolletage, and clothes to accentuate my hourgass figure.

I love mixing sportswear with patterns. I generally avoid monochromatic clothes. I can't wear just a blue shirt, it has to have a pattern or a stripe or something of interest. If it's just plain blue I'll add a scarf or a contrasting cardi, and pair it with a very colorful bag. I like contrasts, bold colors, graphic designs and patterns.

This is an interesting discussion and I had to think about it for a while. It really depends on my mood. On my off days, I want neither my clothing nor me to be noticed. I just want to blend into the crowd. It is part of my introvert self. Sometimes I am ready to meet the world but only through my clothes. I honestly would rather be a fly on the wall and just watch.

A very interesting discussion. I would say that anyone who cares enough about fashion to join a fashion forum dealing with fashion - if we are all honest yes we all dress to be noticed. If you ask this question of women who are not as interested in adornment as we are you would probably get another answer. We love fashion or we wouldn't be here. I think we would notice the components that go into making up an outfit where the person not interested in fashion may not. Most people don't notice the particulars just the overall appearance.

I found it very interesting that so many people that identified themself as an intovert in personality did not dress that way.

Vickie

I chose my clothing based on what I feel suits me, highlights my best features and expresses who I am, and yes to be noticed. For the record,I'm a similar age to you MFF. I think I sit in the middle in terms of being an introvert or extrovert, I am not shy but I am not good at self promotion or ringing my own bell and I do think that to a point how I dress and how I present "speaks" for me...does that make sense? Thinking it through further, I don't want my clothes to speak so loud that people don't see "me", it's more a matter of wanting my clothes to say "you need to know this woman"! Interestingly, I am currently working on a (fashion based) project and am struggling with a 20 something girl who "knows everything" and for the most part treats myself and my 40+ colleague (who is running the project) as though we are invisible....it's an interesting experience to be having and as a result I have been thinking a great deal about this whole topic:). Thanks for bringing it up.

Interesting topic --thanks for posting!
I dress to get attention, I am not so young as to think that this is the only outlet to receive positive feedback but I have realized dressing is an important creative outlet for me. All while I was growing up I was drawing (either free-hand or technical drawings), I certainly enjoy art and don't really know what I would do with myself without this outlet. It's a regular exercise in creativity getting dressed.
As far as fading into the background I realized at about 14 that was going to be impossible for me. My goal ever since has been to frame what I have in the best way possible - since I was going to stand out no matter what. It's almost a preemptive way of managing my image and controlling first impressions (as much as they can be controlled).
I avoid dressing in ways I believe are provocative. Cleavage is almost never on display even if I'm all dressed up and it would be appropriate. I feel like everyone knows they're there why state the obvious? I do my best to blend in during interviews which is about the only time when I dress with the specific intent not to be noticed for my clothing.

Hi everyone! I felt compelled to jump in to the conversation seeing that you are all discussing a post that I wrote. I am really flattered that it evoked such a lively and interesting discussion. It's rare to get such interesting feedback on something you write.

So, a few things...looking back at the quote- "When getting dressed, the goal is always to have you get noticed, not your clothing" I myself am even questioning the "always" in that sentence. However, the whole point of the post was about black and white (no pun intended) rules, but offering everyone the ability to make an informed choice. Like I said, I don't believe in throwing out the baby with the bathwater or being restrictive with anyone. The goal is to give my readers and clients to be able to choose. I think rules are meant to be broken, but rules help us decide whether or not we want to break them. If we don't know certain guidelines then we're just winging it. Imagine the suggestion like driving a car- we all know you should drive with your hands at 10 and 2, yet few of us do. We know the rules, are aware of them, but can decide for ourselves if it works or not. Unfortunately, most women just wing it with no idea of what they are doing and this is where most get into trouble with regrettable purchases and, worse, no idea why they are wrong for them. Plus, in addition, when a woman does get something right, she doesn't know why and can't repeat her successes. What I usually say to my clients is what I said in the article- in certain situations it is smart to consider certain things. For example, if I had a very low contrast client who was getting ready to speak in front of an audience or had to engage in a situation where the focus was to be on what she was saying, not her outfit, I'd probably advise against too much contrast in what she was wearing. With too much contrast she runs the risk her listeners getting unnecessarily distracted. However, if this woman enjoys the black and white trend, wants to wear it and she isn't in a situation where the focus needs to be on what she is saying or how she is presenting herself, then it really doesn't matter what she does. What I want my clients to be able to do is know the difference and, on their own, decide what is best for the particular situation they are in.

Now, as far as wanting to stand out or not, or being noticed for what you are wearing or who you are, again, this is all relative. I was recently interviewed about fashion being a vital connector for Fox Business (link here) where I talked about this and how fashion is the best communicator we have and that it is a great tool to connect with others who are of like mind, goals or affinity. The number one way we are perceived by people is through our non-verbal communication and this includes what we wear. Again, there is no black or white rules that one can follow, just helpful guidelines that help us decide for ourselves.

I had a client say something to me once that I thought was very interesting. She said" "There is a big difference between getting the compliment 'you look great' and 'that's a great skirt'." Here's the thing, wanting to stand out has nothing to do with wearing bland clothes or having your clothing fade into the background. It's about creating a seamless quality between you and what you are wearing. Now, in some situations that means putting on bold clothing and in others that means something more understated. There are SO many variables that factor in from personality, where you are going, what you are doing, the mood you are in, etc., which makes the whole contrast level guidance a teeny-tiny part of the equation. Yet, it is a guidepost, something to consider as you consider other guidelines on dressing your body, your style and mood.

I hope that helps clarify things and the point of the post and thank you again for the opportunity to really hear your thoughts!!!!! Really fascinating and helpful!!

That's helpful Bridgette - thank you for stopping in to join our discussion. I agree with everything you've said here. Knowledge is power!

Thanks Suz, I am glad that all made sense! I have to thank all of you for this discussion as I think it challenges me to be a better writer and to really think things through. When you write it is impossible to know how everyone is going to perceive it! I think anyone who writes and doesn't take the time to listen in to the reaction is missing out.

After I posted my message, I wanted to point out that you are all at the tippy-top of the fashion knowledge spectrum simply by the fact that you all obviously think about and consider fashion carefully. However, there are so many people out there who don't even come close to being in the same galaxy of the knowledge that you all possess. For some, the learning curve is great and, as a writer on fashion, you have to consider these factors. Of course, this is not meant to bash anyone who knows less, but you have to remember, there is a slew of women out there who just don't know all that much and are way smarter at other things that I admittedly suck at. One of the biggest tasks in teaching others about fashion is to be able to temper it so that everyone can learn. As someone who consults with all different types of women, at all different levels of understanding, and who all learn differently, translating it for everyone can get really interesting, for lack of a better word. I find my finance clients to be the most fascinating because they have such different brains than me. But this challenge is good because it pushes me to teach a very subjective topic in all different ways.

Thank you for welcoming me into the conversation and, again, for creating such a lively and supportive environment for my post to be discussed.

It's true we are pretty smart here (she said, immodestly calling attention to herself...tee hee!)

But I have found it a sharp learning curve myself and guidelines on figure flattery, colour, and proportion have been super helpful to me as I have tried to figure out what works best for me. Even if I decide that a specific one doesn't apply to me -- or applies to me only partially -- knowing about it gives me a standard by which I can judge.

You are all smart! And, heck, just involving yourself to learn says a lot! Suz, you totally get me, you get me Suz. LOL

A very interesting read here MFF (and Bridgette).
I enjoy dressing to be noticed as a whole, and will now consider more closely whether my choices are too high contrast to achieve this.
We all know that a nude shoe elongates the leg, and this concept helps to explain why it is so.

JFTR, I did not post the link to the article because I was just taking issue with one statement in it. To me, my quibble was a total side issue. I actually liked the article and thought it very useful and that it is most definitely a helpful idea to have in mind. More generally, I just don't think that it is necessarily (for me anyway) a bad idea to wear clothes that get noticed, because to me, my clothes say more about ME as a person than my mere physical appearance says about me, and that, to me, is more important. And that even if it were a good idea in some sense to wear clothes that get me (my face, say) noticed rather than my clothes, I still would rather (when appropriate!) dress interestingly, because otherwise I would not feel like me. I did consider whether it might be the invisibility of age thing, but then remembered that I liked to dress strikingly at 20 too, so evidently it isn't just my age. (Not that I wear the SAME striking clothes as I did then. Oh dear me no! Perish the thought!)

I hope that clarifies things.

Sarah (MFF)

I think that's a great point Sarah, and I also think that when we dress to have our clothes get noticed it still expresses who we are, even if it isn't totally in line with our physical appearance. After all, our physical appearance is only a sliver of who we are, if anything at all. But fashion can express things like our mood, our personality, our goals, our values, our priorities and more. By clarifying what you meant it helps to make better sense of your point, as I think by you originally just extracting that one sentence from my original post it may have confused some people, including myself, what the point of my article was. The clarification is very helpful!

Wow! What a fascinating article and discussion! Thank you MovingFashionForward for bringing BridgetteRaes article to my attention; Thank you BridgetteRaes for the thought-provoking read!

I find it challenging to describe what my intent is when getting dressed! :O

I agree with two other statements written:

Joi, you look smashing in all of these!

Thank you Suz!

Joi, I love all those outfits!!! So pretty

I am a classic dresser with some quirks. I can go the easy, simple and unnoticed way one day and the next I am wearing a super bold polka dot bodycon dress people will inevitably talk about. Most of my wardrobe pieces are subtle and neutral, but then I have truly conversational pieces like bold dresses, quirky shoes (like Camper oxfords, patent military boots, red Kickers), printed and highly colored sneakers and fun coats and scarves.

I am an introvert but I am also very talkative and loud depending on my mood, who I am with, etc, so depending on how I feel and who I am to encounter I will dress differently.
I do wear things many of my female peers reserve for special occasions on a daily basis -like dresses, pretty shoes, (light) make-up- and this might make me look a bit striking next to them, but I've decided I like to feel nice and I like to wear dresses because I feel prettier in them, and that's that.

I am seeing, both here and IRL, that introverts like to wear more noticeable clothes because it's a way for them to express who they are. To be honest, I would define most of the quirky dressers I have met as introvert and artistic people that prefer to keep quite but still need to make a point somehow. I met this girl some months ago at my office, she was so quite and shy you hardly ever heard her voice (but when I finally got her to talk I discovered she was a very interesting person). She dressed a lot like Diana here in YLF so that was noticeable of her -and very cute!.

Thank you Irene! I appreciate what you said: wearing things many women reserve for special occasions on a frequent basis is truly a key to feeling and looking fabulous!

I agree My Joi! I call that The China Syndrome when women do that because, like fine china, they often reserve the nice things solely for special occasions!

Fun discussion and replies here. One thing I've always strived for (but haven't always achieved) is that "You look amazing!" or "You always look so pulled together." compliment as opposed to "I really love your sandals." - I guess that's partly what led me here to YLF to begin with - I wanted to try and figure out how to put a whole outfit together that works well for me, not just some attractive pieces. It's still a work in progress for me. I still feel like it's a lot harder to elicit a compliment from a simple jeans, top and sandals outfit than it is to elicit a compliment from a skirt or dress with heels. Is this just because of the female icon issue? Or people's need to dress "up" in an expected way? I wonder how often others on YLF get that "You look amazing." compliment (not here but out in their world) when they just wear great fitting jeans or pants, a simple top and sandals...

I try to dress nicely because it makes me feel better about myself and because it gives me more confidence. I also want others to perceive me in a certain way (i.e., professional, competent, etc. - depends on the occasion).

I have to admit I felt really good at my DD's wedding this past weekend, as my ex was there, and I haven't seen him since she was 6 years old (she's now 31). He abandoned us when she was only 10 months old, never paid child support, and only involved himself in her life for a few brief years... after which he disappeared for years and years and years. He and my DD have since reconciled, which I think is great, but the lifestyle he chose for himself has left him in ill health and looking much older than he really is. I couldn't help but pity him but at the same time feel really good about how I looked. I hope that's not the wrong attitude to have, but...

Ruth, I loved your story!!! Good for you! You sound like an admirable woman!

I think I'm not likely to fade into the wallpaper any time soon regardless of what I wear. I have crayola red hair right now and very fair skin, so I have high contrast coloring. I also have European features that I feel make me stick out a little in the US. (Tough to explain, but I definitely notice that when I watch women on tv documentaries set in Europe, I feel like I'd be totally average over there, where in the US I feel like a bit of an ugly duckling sometimes.)

I tend to have the opposite problem, which is trying to tone it down, and blend in. Not that anyone is likely to say something, but it makes me nervous to be started at a lot. I'm not a very confident person. I wear the edgy/goth/punk pieces I have because I love them and they're beautiful to me, not because I want to scare strangers or rebel against my parents or some silliness like that.