I can't say that everything I wear brings me joy. For me, practicality oftentimes trumps joy.

Take my shoes, for example. I bought the most stylish comfort brands I could find that would feel good on my fussy feet. I like them, but if I bought only what I was initially drawn to or that brought me joy with every wear, only a couple of them would stay in my closet. If I bought the shoes that bring me joy, without considering anything else (bunions and OA, for example), I'd love looking at them in my closet but they'd kill my feet. Winter is another example. I just can't seem to get warm enough in my unheated office. I try to dress as fashionably as possible, but know I don't look my best in chunky sweaters. Pain in my lower back and legs is causing me to seek out different clothes, too. I'm sure I'll find what I like, but again, it's more about comfort than it is joy.

God rest ye merry gentlemen... Oh tidings of comfort and joy...

Bettycrocker, I can relate to the comfort vs. style issue! That's a tough balance, especially if your work environment requires more formal attire. I know all too well about cold weather and uneven office heating. My hands are always cold; having Raynauds doesn't help! I also have experience with the shoe dilemma, having suffered with plantar fasciitis due to running. I have had excellent luck finding items that fulfill my practical needs while still looking stylish and making me happy. However, my work environment and lifestyle in general allows for what I call smart casual attire.

I think comfort and practicality weigh heavily in making me happy and joyful about any particular item, not only its aesthetics.

One thing's for sure: Where there is no comfort, there is no joy. That's another reason to buy better brands. They are usually made of better materials that feel good next to the skin.

For me, there seems to be a distinction between comfort and joy.

At the moment, I spend all day, everyday holed up in my room wearing the loungiest of lounge wear. Extremely high comfort, but joy? It doesn't make much of a difference to me what I wear at home if nobody else will see. Style for me has a performative element and the absence of an audience takes away a lot of the joy in wearing my nice garments.

But to address the original issue: it's tough weighing in the advice of others. I like using the advice of others to dissuade me from getting something I already like because it saves me money. The few times I have bought items that others looked great on me, I ended up not wearing and giving away.

Gradfashionista, I have had the same experience of not wearing the items I purchased when my friends told me I looked great in them. That's what started all this - I don't really wear the Cole Hahn leather coat my friend thought was the best looking of two I had modeled for her Perhaps I am shopping with the wrong friends? It doesn't happen when I shop with my DD.

I'm just catching up with this thread again and needed to go back to the idea of paying attention to the opinions of others when deciding on purchases. I feel like I'm becoming less impressionable and more confident of my own self-knowledge. I welcome feedback, of course, but I've certainly made my share of purchasing mistakes while shopping with others or even upon the feedback of well-intentioned SA's (fortunately, most of them were easily returnable once I realized they weren't really going to work). Now I'm more able to take the evaluation of others to heart while still paying attention to my own inner voice that asks, "But will you WEAR this?" Sometimes that question is not answered until I take an item home and look at it in the context of my wardrobe, but it's a more conscious process now, and I don't let flattery blind me to the reality of how I like to dress, and what I reach for when I open my closet.

That's why I believe in Organized Emotional Shopping. There has to be joy and positive emotion involved when you purchase a piece and wear the piece.

That said:

• I agree with Dianthus. You can love something that does not love you back. And it's not a bad idea if someone you trust lets you know this. You might be grateful for the feedback.

• Items CAN grow on you.

• Practical decisions can destroy the positive emotion.

• Joy is on a continuum. There is joy and THERE IS JOY.

So well put Angie!

I am planning to test the idea that items can grow on you by finding new ways to style the Cole Hahn leather jacket and pushing myself to wear it.

I think you know yourself best--so follow your instincts/gut/heart. Also, beyond how something looks is how you feel while you're wearing it. You can look great in something, but still feel uncomfortable or sell-conscious in it. No one else may see that, but you will feel it and that matters.

Staysfit, thank you for sharing this ... this is my biggest struggle, listening to everyone and everything but my own intuition! Thanks for the reminder that I need to pay attention there more

Great thread! I read the book and loved it. I agree with a lot of what has been said, and love the term Organized Emotional Shopping! Yes!

I try to follow my intuition more and more in all areas of my life. But sure, it can be hard. I appreciate a friend's honest opinion, as well as YLF feedback.

I like to shop with my mom on the rare occasion. It's so easy because she can say yes or no the minute I walk out of the change room and she's always right! I try to hang onto that split second feeling I get the moment I pull something over my head. BUT, Angie is right; things can grow on you.

Too bad about your Cole Haan.