Dear Deborah... - YouLookFab Forum

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Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Dear Deborah...

FlorenceFearne

Please stop posting such fabulous outfits. I think I am beginning to get carpal tunnel from favorite-ing everything you have ever worn. If you continue to be so unfailingly chic, I will have to mail you my medical bills.

Kidding aside, I'm really curious to know if anyone else has one or two specific YLFers that they consistently look to for inspiration or advice. I do see occasional posts tagged "copycat" or "inspired by" but I'm thinking of more of a long-term thing, almost like a fashion mentor, if that makes sense. If so, what lessons have you learned from them?

My own list thus far obviously includes Deborah, who has given me so many ideas for making my almost all black wardrobe look fab, but also alaska girl (makes BF jeans and a slouchy top look like a million bucks), MaryK (fearless color/pattern mixer), and nicoleb (lots of looks, none remotely boring).

25 replies

Latest reply was from

Debra

Veteran

I have to agree with all of the above....

Lyn D.

Veteran

I too am 'watching' so many Fabbers I might as well be watching everyone!
Deborah too, of course, even though I would never look so Fab in a copycat outfit.
Claire, Sveta, Cocolion, Suz and Alaskagirl for sure are some of my favourite super-stylish dressers, especially the more casual/everyday type outfits.
Top of my list is Angie, for her encouragement, tips and amazing ensembles!!

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I think ALL Fabbers offer inspiration

Deborah

Veteran

Dear FlorenceFearne;). I am speechless! (And that doesn't happen often). I am beyond flattered..thank you. There're are definitely forum members whose style I relate to more than others, I guess because the elements are similar to my own. Then there are girls who style embodies a classic look which I also love, they inspire me to take the classic and try to add a twist, and then there is really everyone else. I find I pick up so much from the various forum members, it could be a tweak in relation to proportions, and idea I hadn't considered before, etc. And even though our personal styles are different Angie has been an amazing.source of encouragement and learning. One of the things I find a little "trying" is frequent conversation on the blogosphere (not YLF) about how over 40's shouldn't wear black and I just love and appreciate how the YLF community "get" me and might encourage improvement but don't try to change me:)

Forgive me if I have asked this before, I can't remember, are you an Aussie?

xxx

FlorenceFearne

Deborah, you haven't asked, but I'm actually in the US, in Washington state. From what I can tell, there are a lot of YLF ladies in WA.

And yes, I intend to go on wearing black until I'm 102.

AviaMariah

Veteran

WA girl here too. I've gotten inspiration from everyone but I've looked at Suz' WIW a lot. I think partly because we're close to the same size and have similar taste and her explanations make so much sense to me. Clearlyclaire's ability to always look so great from a smaller wardrobe is a huge inspiration. I enjoy alaskagirl for her edginess.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Wow, I am gobsmacked! Thank you for the kind words, AviaMariah and Lyn. And FlorenceFearne, I must agree with you that Deborah's outfits are stunning and she has brilliant style. I also agree with Shannon -- I have learned so much from EVERY Fabber! Even -- and sometimes especially -- those whose style is different from my own.

I am trying to think if, in my early days, I had a "mentor." And I don't think I did. It was all about experimentation and trying things out, at that stage.

Oddly enough, it has been more since my style has begun to come together that I recognize a few style mentors. Angie is the obvious one here -- but of course she mentors us all.

Here's something else -- for me, perhaps as important as mentors, are what I would call style "cousins." What I mean is -- while their style is quite different from mine, there are strong elements of connection, and watching what they do I can learn from them in a different way than I might learn from a mentor. It's not a question of simply following their lead (as I might do with a mentor, and find it working.) It is more a question of interpreting their idea to my own style.

Does that make any sense?

So for me, an "Urban Prince" -- my style cousins include Urban Knight Ceit, and UWP's Alaskagirl and Rae.

But equally, they could include ladylike dressers (Thistle and Goldenpig come to mind). As well as Classic beauties like ClearlyClaire. And Elegant Eclectics like Deborah and Joy.

I often think I learn as much from the cousins as the mentors these days. And the cousins really include all of YLF!

FlorenceFearne

Suz, I like the idea of style cousins. I think It's easy for me to identify with Deborah, because she does have a color palette and a style similar to my own, where some of the others I mentioned have a style that's nothing like mine, but inspire me in other ways.

I know what you mean about modifying the idea to fit my style. For example, I mentioned MaryK - I think stylistically we're not even cousins; we're those neighbors all the way down the street that have only waved a few times. Her outfit from yesterday with the chain print was not me in so many ways; I don't wear gold, or camel, and our coloring is completely different. But that print blouse with the matching color in the skirt and the striped blazer was so inspiring. I have a striped blazer that I love but never seem to get any wear out of, and I suddenly realized pairing it with another print might be just the thing. And that sweatshirt with the printed pencil skirt? Let's just say that a thin sweatshirt made it onto my ebay watch list after that post came up.

rachylou

Veteran

Well, when I first arrived, Suz and Claire really got my attention with their analysis and I-mean-business editing.

Una and Rae got my attention because they addressed matters related to being RATE and UWP.

Caro has a lot of wisdom, esp. on being avant garde IMO, not to mention Deborah (hello thread inspiration!!).

MaryK speaks to my heart because she knows about gin and saltines and shrimp cocktail and how to dress for such a feast.

...mm. Yes. How many members are we? Lol. Ok. I think this would be better as a one-a-day thing. But I can't go without mentioning Anna, because I have this moment totally copycatted her and just finishing getting a Stella McCartney tank off Net-A-Porter.

Anna is now free to go into the girls bathroom and say OMG, to her friends, RachyLou needs to get her own life. She's cramping my style. Why can't she go follow Paris Hilton or something? OMG. Lol.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I definitely pick up elements from lots of different people - I think that Astrid's skirts are fantastic and we're closer in age ... I like MaryK's business bombshell ... and I aspire to dress like Sona and Goldenpig... I admire Anna's sense of style, but don't think I would ever dress like her because it's not my style ... sometimes when I feel more rugged I feel more Rae ... when I'm miniminalistic and polished, I think Claire or Suz ...

Mo

(website)

Veteran

You can follow specific fabbers with a new feature, but I guess that wasn't really the question. I think we all have a few folks we relate to more than others, for whatever reasons. I do believe we got into a bit of touchy waters going down this road before, with the idea that those who don't get mentioned might have hurt feelings.
I do have fabbers that inspire me more than others, for sure. And, no, they don't necessarily have to dress in a way I aspire to. It's all good!

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Interesting question! There are some forum members whose styles I often feel I want to emulate but many others I just admire and learn from and take a little of this and that to incorporate into my own wear. I was intrigued by the idea of "following" specific members' posts with the new forum feature, but I have not done so. I am too afraid it might make me miss out somehow on new discoveries.

FlorenceFearne

@Mo - It's definitely not my intent to say that anyone here is better than anyone else. I feel like that would be saying spoons are better than forks or something. Ha ha.

What I'm thinking is more that since we all have different strengths and weaknesses, I may rely on certain people more for help in specific areas where they are strong and I'm not. For example, I am terrible at casual wear. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to make that whole jeans and tee thing work for me. Fortunately for me, alaskagirl kills that particular look, and seems to have similar taste to me in shoes and color palette.

Also, if I'm trying to figure out if a specific silhouette works on me, I will likely rely on posts by those who share my body type. Not because any one body type is superior, but because I'm flat-chested IT, and no amount of wishing will help me fill out a garment the same way that an hourglass might.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Oh, definitely! I just remember a similar thread veering off into such territory. No worries. I also look to members for casual inspiration especially. Cheers!

Deborah

Veteran

Just returning on the point of having a mentor:). She doesn't know this but I have considered Angie as my mentor for the past 2+ years. Angie is unique in that she is "instructional" and shares the in and outs, the thought processes and the specifics of why something works and something doesn't. I tend to be intuitive with my and others style and Angie has given me the ability to articulate and see clearly why something i FEEL works actually does or doesn't. I have considered doing a styling course but to be honest I would be surprised if they offered the depth that Angie does.

PS I will be wearing black until I'm 102 also:). Maybe we should start a support group...I can see it now..hi my name is Deborah and I wear black ....

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

What Mo said. Also I agree with Firecracker in that I don't follow specific members.

Mona

Veteran

I was impressed by the new feature of YLF in which we can only follow a few members and used it for a few days but I started missing others so now I don't use it. There is just too much inspiration here to miss even a single member. At first, I used to only look at members whose style is closest to mine but gradually I realized that I get a kick from seeing people dressed up completely different than I do. Having said that, I do have some style mentors and cousins and learn a lot from them.

MsMary

Veteran

*waving at FF from down the street*

I'm so thrilled and touched to be mentioned in this post!!

I am inspired by everyone here, as Mo said, but I do have to give a special shoutout to Kari, whose use of color and pencil skirts really got me started down my own fashion path when I first came to YLF more than two years ago!

Rachylou! LOL!

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I should clarify I've been on the forum for over five years, posting pics for four years. This type of thread comes up every so often. They sometimes smack of the popularity ratings from high school year books.
I rarely get mentioned in these type of threads. It makes me wonder if my style is that unattainable.
Rachylou, I should warn you on the Stella McCartney for Adidas top gives you weird sunburn/tan lines. Apply lots of sunscreen.

FlorenceFearne

@ annagybe - funny you should mention it, because I do check out your WIWs frequently. Alas, here in Eastern WA people seem to believe business casual means, "wear the jeans with less holes in them." Or maybe that's my workplace in particular. People give me the side-eye when I wear a pencil skirt to the office!

So currently I'm too chicken to wear some of the styles you do, which I think of as a bit more bold, and architectural, and fashion forward. And I do mean that as a compliment. I have noticed that when I take trips to Seattle, I'm a lot more comfortable wearing some of my more unique outfits, which is part of the reason I've been contemplating a Westward move.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I get it FF, I grew up in Eastern Washington.

ramya

Veteran

Anna I don't know about others but your recent outfits are totally speaking to me :). Now I may be a chicken to wear the zara shorts but the I totally dig your style.
That said my absolutel favs are Gp, anna, rae, maryk, Shannon. I want to copy all of them:)
P.s. is there some kind of fashion split personality in me

Anonymous

I read this last night (even though it was addressed to Deborah, lol) but I was just too brain dead to make a coherent comment. I think it's great that Deborah is inspiring you. I think it's really helpful to find someone whose style you find inspiring. It inspires me too. And her hair! But I digress.

I was really, really, no really touched to be mentioned like some of the others. I was sitting in my lounge gear (yes! that's what I'm calling it from now on.) feeling yucky and then to "overhear" people talking about me in such a positive, affirming way really blessed my little heart. I don't yet follow or block anyone, but I get loads of inspiration from so many, even those whose body type is different from my own. I even realized the other day that I was subliminally encouraged to grow my hair a little longer by some of the gals that are my age with longer hair, and I'm encouraged to keep going grey by the fabulous silver foxes among us. We've got a great thing going here, YLF!

Hil

(website)

Veteran

FlorenceFearne... reading this, and then the other thread where you mentioned you inner goth got me thinking... I wonder if that is why we both are so in love with Deborah's style - her fearless love of black appeals to our inner goth - I know I still certainly have a teenage goth (and a bit rock) chick inside struggling to find her place in a grown up (mom) wardrobe!

Regarding the other style icons on board - well there are so many... and my list increases as I spend more time here I get to know them all better and come to appreciate them more and more for what they offer! Sometimes the more regular posters come to mind first simply because they are so regular. Sometimes people spring to mind because they take good quality photographs of themselves. Sometimes it is a case of aspects of their style appealing to aspects of my style ideals and my personality.

I really don't think anyone should feel left out if they're not on this or anyone else's lists - as a somewhat junior member, if anything, its an aspirational thing for me to one day appear on someone's admire list. I also don't think that lists like this are a bad idea... it's great to recognise some of our members for their fabness. Like an impromptu awards ceremony of sorts.

Anonymous

Florence, in view of Annas thread in reaction to this and that fact we've had this happen before I think I'm going to agree with mo's comment above. I love everyones style on here and prefer not to 'watch' or make lists of favourites for fear of missing fabness.