Tanya, I have been missing your fab outfits on the forum for a while and am very sorry to hear it is because of this. Will be holding you in my thoughts along with the rest of the YLF family here. And if you can find any comfort at all in just chatting, please don't be a stranger. It's amazing to me how active the off topic board is and how generous so many fabbers are with their time and their hearts even to those like me who hardly contribute on topic. And you are clearly well beloved and prized by friends both far and near who doubtless wish they could be physically handier too.

Tanya, I am late to this since I've been mostly off-line these last few days, but I am so sorry to hear you've been dealing with this!

As you know, I'm not far away. Please let me know if I can do anything. Even if you just need some fun time and want to meet in DC for a bite to eat.

I hope the recommendation of no chemo is a good sign -- it often can be. I have been hearing lots of good news from my friends who have been fighting the cancer fight, so I am hoping that you will have similar success!

Big hugs and healing vibes being sent your way!

Oh my goodness Tanya - what an ordeal! And I'm doubly sorry that you are dealing with this so much on your own. I'm glad however that you have shared this news with us so that we can be a support system for you.

Stay strong and let us know you're doing (when you want of course...no pressure).

Tanya it is great that you have opened up to your friends here on the forum. Now you have that much more support!! With no family in the area I think you should have all the support available. I have talked to you on the phone and we have discussed our different yet similar situations. I'm so glad that you are getting the best medical care where you live. I'm on the opposite coast but I'm here for you for moral support all the time.

Wow, Tanya, sorry to hear that you are dealing with this.

Please continue to reach out whenever you feel like you need a little bit of support, there are so many fabulous people on here who can help out.

Sending you lots of positivity from New Zealand.

Tanya, I am so sorry to hear of your illness. The mother in me just wants to scoop you up and give you a big hug. I am not far from you and am here if you need anything at all. You are also very welcome to come for a visit if you feel the need for some TLC, home cooking, or just a change of scenery. Take care, sweet girl.
xo

Thank you so much for your kind words and support ladies! You are truly wonderful and it does help a lot.

I am recovering well from the surgeries, but I did have to do a lot of dental work (including wisdom teeth removal under general anesthesia) - the nature of radiation to neck/mouth is such that it is really bad for your teeth and they have to be spot perfect before it commences. There are other nasty side effects possible such as loss of ability to swallow/eat, lots of pain (and many others), but the doctors are hoping that the first one will not happen.
As for chemo, the radiation will be to neck area only. PET scan has not shown anything in body areas other than the neck, but the thing is it can only detect things of certain size, 1cm or bigger, not tiny cells that might already exist. But the whole team of doctors is confident about no need for chemo, so I trust them. I am treated at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, probably one of the best hospitals in the world, so I hope that they know what they are doing.
The radiation will start on 10/28 and it will last 6 weeks, every work day, for total of 30 treatments.
As for the furlough, it is good to have time to rest, but I really do hope that they decide to give us back pay, with all the medical bills, I need it more than ever.

All the local ladies who offered help, you are incredibly kind, thank you. I am doing fine now, and should be doing mostly OK for the first two weeks of treatment. Afterwards it is anybody's guess, the radiation side effects are cumulative and some people feel the worst 2-3 weeks after the treatment has finished. At this point I do not know how much time after the treatment ends will be needed for me to recover enough to go back to work. So if I need something during those times, I will ask, no worries.

Thanks again for being so supportive!

Big hugs to you Tanya.

Hi Tanya,

First and foremost, I wanted to send you a million hugs and wishes for a speedy and in full recovery. I know dealing with the C word is very, very scary but I think it is perfectly okay to feel this way. It is what you do with that fear what really matters.

I am going to share a quote with you that I've heard a couple days ago, in the most unexpected of places, this movie that totally tanked at the box office. This quote, however, changed something in me. It is from the movie "After Earth". So, ten min plot summary: Earth was deemed inhabitable, humankind goes to another planet, they are not alone there, alien race releases beasts called Ursas, which are blind and can hunt down humans by sensing pheromones and other fear hormones. Will smith figures out how to "shadow" the Ursas by taming his fear, a whole legion of "shadow soldiers" is born. Will smith crashes in ship with his son back on earth with Ursa on board. Sh*t hits the fan. Will Smith is gravely wounded. Only chance to survive is for kid to retrieve saving beacon, with Ursa on his tail, alone. Plot now demands that the kid becomes a shadow soldier, taming his fear. So, okay, the scene is that the kid is hiding and asks his father how he was able to figure out this Ursa business. Here is Will Smith's answer:
“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not (exist) at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”
Bingo, fear is a choice. Don't let your fear paralyze you. Fight with all you have, you are well on your way.
I hope my little story did not bore you

Zap, loved that story. Thanks for posting. Now I want to see this movie

Oh dear Tanya - I am so sorry to read about what you are going through! Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers for complete healing - and that the radiation is one-hundred percent effective. Sending you my love.

Tanya - I am just seeing this and I'm joining the local crowd in wishing you healing vibes and an offer of company or support or a ride or anything you need. During the shutdown I could have been to you in 1/2 hour. Now it's all back to normal today and it would take 1+ hours, but I'm here!
You're in my prayers for a full and speedy recovery. I hope we can all give you in person hugs soon.

Oh my gosh, what a bomb and all that without family here. You are amazing, Tanya. Sending you a big virtual hug. Words fail, but here's hoping that the treatment is as tolerable and successful as can be. That must be very positive that they do not feel you need chemo. They must be very confident that the cancer will be contained.

Hi Tanya - having done this ordeal myself 6 years ago I could not agree more with Zap's advice. The following are my - somewhat considered reflections.

I don't think any two people experience it in the same way so whatever your responses are, they fall in the normal category. I preferred to see it not as a BATTLE because the implication is that weak people lose battles and crawl as survivors into the next part of their lives. I prefer to see myself and others as, THRIVING.

It takes in the 'living with' and takes away the value judgement on your responses, which your supporters do without knowing the possible effect on how you are thinking. Thriving is the aim - you are not in a battle field, you are in your own self and the worst enemy is, as Zap said - fear, not some imagined enemy invader. I became 'at ease' with the word 'cancer' and it has remained a word that does not give me the chills. It just is.
This may not be helpful but I am contributing it - incase it is an alternative view that can help you.

You will be in my prayers Tanya. May god bless you with all the strength you need and help you in your recovery.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am thinking of you.

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you Tanya - I'm out of town, trying to help my Mom with her breast cancer diagnosis, treatment and so on.

That said...

I realize just how scary this can be, and I have a new appreciation for anyone having to deal with any kind of cancer at all, no matter what the circumstances. I can't imagine trying to deal with this alone - and wanted to be sure to let you know that you're in our thoughts, and let you know that if there's anything I can do (from afar), you just have to ask. I really mean that, if there's anything that you need or want - please let us know.

In the meantime, there are lots of people who are thinking of you, wishing you the best of health and well-being.

Sending along hugs, chicken soup, chocolates, expensive designer handbags, and new fall boots

Dear dear Tanya, I am so sorry that you are going through this and so far from family. You are in my thoughts and prayers each day as is Sandy. We care about you and look forward to your return to health.

Tanya, I'm late to this thread too, but you have been and will remain in my thoughts and prayers

Hi Tanya, I am fairly new to YLF hence am still finding my way navigating thru this website.

It was very courageous of you sharing your story and I do feel deeply for you. I hope you find peace and serenity in your battle and rest assured I will pray for you everyday.

Sending you my love and most tender thoughts.

Tanya, I am new to posting on the forum but have followed your style journey for a while. May you have all the courage and strength you need in your journey towards good health again.

Tanya, late to post here but just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers for you to be strong through this challenge and to be well very soon. Love seeing your outfit posts and am impressed that you are still keeping up with it - not sure if I would be so strong as you! Very best wishes to you.

After seeing your WIW I came over hear to see if there was anything about your surgery and lo and behold, it's cancer. Words cannot describe something like this! Except to say my heart goes out to you and I am glad you have health insurance. I really, really hope you get better. Denise

I just saw this, Tanya. I am adding my prayers for you. *hugs*

Tanya you are in my thoughts and prayers as well. If your oncologist/oncosurgeon can recommend an oral cancer support network in the area it might be a good idea. Nobody can understand what you are going through as closely as someone who has experienced it. When I first came to
this country I had a very " bad" health scare but my mother was able to come take care of me. I know your real family is miles away but your virtual YLF family is here in hordes to help and the local-ites will rush to your side should you but ask. Do not hesitate to ask. We love you and are with you in your struggles.

Thank you all for all the lovely words of support. It means a world to me.
As for keeping up with outfit posts, well it is really means of escape. My radiation treatment starts on Monday (with a "dry run" tomorrow) and I am beyond terrified. Just trying to find something to keep my brain busy while I still have energy to dress somewhat presentable. Sooner or later it will be sweatpants only.

Tanya, i am holding your hand virtually. You will get through this. You will look fab regardless of the flothes you happen to be wearing. Thinking many healing thoughts.

Tanya- sorry for all you are anticipating now. It is hard to tolerate the ambiguities of illness and treatment. It's good to know that you can reach out and remember that people often are grateful when they feel they can help a bit. We will both cheer you on and hear you out on the challenges, as you see fit.

Best with your radiation and efforts to keep yourself distracted.

Tanya, good luck tomorrow and again on Monday. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Big hugs to you.

Tanya, I will be thinking of you. I'm totally speechless.