Heh, I’ve already put seven coats/jackets in a bag to give away, donate or sell. Some were OLD holding zone things. I tried them on and decided enough is enough. Never gonna wear them — let them goooooo!

The only thing that kinda hurts is strangely enough an old favorite gear-casual crossover item: a fitted, quilted black Zella jacket that I wore to death seven years ago when I got skinnier during my running days. It’s very clearly a full size too small for me now, and I’m just going to have faith that if I lose weight again I will find another jacket even cooler than that one.

Everything else being edited so far is causing zero consternation.

Janet, I love all the advice up thread and I agree with Vildy and others that when you are emotionally fragile all of this is so much harder. You've just had a massive loss. So tossing out other sentimental favourites might be especially difficult. While at the same time you may be longing to "start fresh." It's when we feel those inner conflicts that we get especially anxious.

So -- yes -- as Vix said, start with coats and give some away. People will be so happy to have them! Also, as LisaP said, should you feel a need for something similar later, you can afford to replace it. Think of this as largesse, if you can, rather than "waste" (i.e. "Oh, why do I have so many coats, I shouldn't have bought that one, I only wore it 10 times, etc. etc.")

I know this can be hard -- as a former under-buyer who now occasionally overbuys I do feel some guilt at times about my "wastefulness" but I also think Carla made a good point -- you are an artist who enjoys a broad palette and there is nothing wrong with that. Organized "work space" (so to speak) is also a good thing, and you can pursue that goal. Editing will help you clarify what you value now. But you don't have to do it "perfectly." Whatever that means.

Hi Janet, I can't tell you how this resonates. I have not had a recent sad loss like you, but assessing every single possession that has built up over 27 years in the one house ( because I have the luxury of time to do it properly, there is no rush to clear out the old house to make it ready for rental or sale) has really stirred up my OCD. It has also been incredibly tied up with the loss of both my parents who both died while we lived in that house- Mum almost 20 years ago, it will be in May. I still have things of hers she thought were important. Dad was not quite as sentimental as her and he died 8 years ago after 4 downsizings- from family home to smaller 3- bedroom with Mum, to 2- bedroom after she died, to 1- bedroom apartment, to private hospital room. So I am doing editing of a LOT of things. Not sure how much I can help but wanted to thank you for the post.

Wonderful thread. I will pull out some bits that resonate with me for support:
Decision fatigue is real. At some point I start to feel dizzy and that is when I must stop. I try not to take out more than I can chew at one time.
Vix's advice to dress well is key for me. If I look bad to myself nothing will look good in the mirror.
I like to do a face off in categories - as in if I were to wear a jacket, white shirt, etc., which would I pick - and is there a reason for for a second choice.
Shoes are my major weakness (along with many minor ones), but if I can't wear it because of comfort it doesn't belong to me.

Of course all this advice is always a bit easier in theory...

Janet, there are some great replies here. I’m not sure if you read along as I did my closet edit this fall? I had limited time and energy to focus on a major edit done all at once, so I broke things into sections as already mentioned. It really helped me and I sometimes broke a category down and worked on it for more than one day. Some lessons I learned that may not seem obvious, but in the end should have been:

1. Make sure you try everything on. Angie advises doing this and she is correct. It takes more energy and time, but I discovered surprising items that just didn’t feel right anymore. They went into the donate bin.

2. I have not missed a single item I passed on. Not even one. I gave away a lot, something like 14 full grocery bags worth. It may have been over 100 items........nevertheless, I have no regrets. So, do not worry that you will miss something. We miss our friends, family and pets, we miss the experiences we had with them, but clothing is just stuff.

3. Invite a trusted friend to help with the process, especially the parts that you know will be most difficult for whatever reason..... A friend is much different than having forum member advice. I used DH to get opinions on my scarves, because he has a good eye for color. I used a good friend for tough wardrobe items that required better style sense and knowledge of fit, etc.

SF, I did see your thread, and it is inspiring! I need to go back and revisit it, because at the time I was focused on getting ready for Africa.

My husband needs a good edit too. We stood in the closet two nights ago getting ready for a party, with him lamenting that his sweater game has gotten really weak. He had a great collection of sweaters a few years back, but they’ve all gotten worn out. Time for some shopping and refreshing for him, especially now that he will be home far more and not in ranch wear!

So we agreed to help each other assess our closet contents. I told him we will make it fun. He tends to want to skip the trying-on part, but I told him that trying on often makes the decision — it usually puts a fine point on WHY an item doesn’t get worn, and we then feel better about passing it on.

Ready to start a new year with a freshly cleaned closet and more room to enjoy what we have!

haven't been here in a while, but after doing some major cleanouts thought I would chime in
my thing is if you haven't worn it, in at least 2 years, or can't remember when you wore it , then it's time to for the garment to go

Coats: now is a good time of the year to donate as there are many coat drives on

I was a person who hung on to jeans even though they were past the 2 year mark, but I recently tried on ALL my jeans, and even I tossed (poshed) all the jeans that didn't fit or flatter me.

I could go on, but I think you get the point, Yes keep 1-3 sentimental things, but if it doesn't fit, or flatter you, or you can't wear it, let someone else get some wear from it

1. Does the item fit?

2. Do I like the way I look in
it?

3. Do I like the way I FEEL in
it?

4. Have I worn it at any time
in the last couple of years (or longer)?

5. Does the item look dated?

6. Is this item simply taking
up space in the closet?

7. What are the chances of me
wearing this again?

8. Would I buy this piece again
if I had the opportunity?

I copied this from somewhere years ago, and keep in my closet

Janet, you have been given such great advice and are on your way to successful editing. I can’t really add much in the way of suggestions. I want you too know that I am so sorry for your loss and the threads of emotion that pull at your heart.
Here’s what I have learned from my own experiences of having difficulty letting go of things for a variety of reasons (still in good shape, financial investment, guilt.....lots of guilt) . Sometimes it was hard and I struggled, but each time I removed items and passed them on, a little bit of guilt went out the door with them. What I really needed to do was to give myself permission to let go of things that no longer served me and to change my mindset. Once I did those things I felt lighter and happier. It gets easier!