I too prefer softer, silkier fabrications rather than crisp. I don't mind if they are deliberately wider in the body if that means no gaps at the chest and no clinging at the mid section.
Assuming I can find one that fits, I prefer to wear them when my hair is shorter. Because my neck is short and my shoulders straight and broad, it can be too much going on at the neckline, between collar and hair and shoulders. I also like collars that lay flat.
I do find they're really difficult to layer under anything. Again it just seems to add more bulk around the neck where I don't want it.