Ask Angie: Wardrobe Recouperation after Anorexia Recovery - YouLookFab Forum

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Ask Angie: Wardrobe Recouperation after Anorexia Recovery

nenamatahari

I am in recovery for anorexia nervosa. I am finally at a weight that makes my doctors happy. I no longer have the serious life threatening health problems that come with the active anorexia.

However, I had to purge about 85% of my wardrobe because nothing fit any more. It was a gut wrenching and tearful experience because there were so many nice, beautiful things that I had to get rid of. If I lost the weight to fit into them again, I could die.

What is the best way to get my wardrobe back to is beautiful fashionable way as soon as possible?

Dressing

14 replies

Latest reply was from Nicole

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Wow, congratulations on getting your anorexia under control!

Angie is out of town until May 30th, but maybe we can all start to help you. First things first, do you know your body type/shape? This will help us make specific suggestions for you to consider.

What sorts of clothing do you like to wear? I would also make a list of all the items you would feel would be at least a minimum for you to have a "complete" wardrobe--how many tops, skirts, pants, etc. This has helped me tremendously in trying to build a new wardrobe. I think you'll find a lot of the ladies on here are in the same situation you are and are having to start almost from scratch, you're not alone!

nenamatahari

I love the way Europeans dress. I love that smart casual look for every day wear. I always like to look neat and polished at all times.

My body shape is kinda pearish, kind of hour glassish. I have a long waist and long limbs.

Once I get my camera fixed I'll be taking some photos of some things I already have so I can get suggestions. =)

Thank you for the kind words. Every little bit helps to stay in recovery. =)

Anonymous

Wow. I'm so glad you posted, and congratulations on recovery. I myself have struggled with anorexia, and I still struggle although I've been out of the hospital and in recovery fore more than two years. I still see my treatment team at least one a month, so it's still a big part of my life, even two years later.

I know how difficult it is to get rid of the clothing you loved that once fit you. I clung onto some of my clothing for so long before I realized that I will never fit into them again, and I shouldn't ever fit into them again. However, in a way, fashion and shopping helped me a little in my recovery. After I gained and got to my goal weight, I felt miserable about my body, especially since I didn't have any clothes to dress it. But finding clothes that made me look beautiful really helped me appreciate my new body and love it the way it is.

I would probably start by getting some really great jeans that you feel great in. The girls on here are great with jeans recommendations. In addition, I'd also recommend getting a bra fitting. My cup size increased immensely when I gained weight, but I was still wearing the same bras, not realizing how important undergarments are. Nordstrom is great for bra fitting. From there, Ana made a great suggestion about making a list of the things you feel you need to complete your wardrobe.

Anyway, welcome to the board and I'm so proud of you for getting healthy. I am here anytime you need to talk to someone who has been there.

Nicole

Veteran

Nenam, I have a sister who has been a recovered anorexic and bulemic for more than 10 years. I know how hard it is and how misunderstood your disease is. Congratulations for coming this far and hopefully you will find the wonderful group of women here supportive and encouraging.

Have you made a list of the things you miss the most from your old wardrobe? Even if the style needs to change to accomodate your figure--just a list of the basic items will be helpful to you.

Maya

Veteran

Wow, that must have been incredibly difficult. But in a way it's good that you have to throw away your old clothes and start over fresh. There is probably a lot of pain attached to those clothes.

When I did a closet purge I started out by going to the Gap (yes, the Gap) and Banana Republic because I needed a basic foundation to start with and it had to be at the right price. I don't remember everything I got, but I do remember I got:

-a denim skirt
-a tailored buttondown shirt with 3/4 sleeves so I can wear it year round
-another button-down shirt with a ruffled neckline to wear as a layering piece
-black skinny pants
-dark wash bootcut jeans
-a black cropped cardigan

I still have all of those pieces in my wardrobe and wear them regularly. I bought them because I knew they were all pieces that could be jazzed up later and would be versatile pieces for me no matter how the rest of my wardrobe ended up.

Once I felt like I had built up a good foundation, I was able to start incorporating more of my personal style. Now I really feel as though my wardrobe has everything I really need to make a lot of fun mix and match options. I recently started to focus on accessories and will probably continue to build up my necklace collection. Scarves and belts are also definitely lacking in my wardrobe, but they're not an immediate need and I can live without them.

I buy shoes as needed because I hate shoe shopping. I am praying that the most recent purchase I made will be the last shoe purchase I make for years to come. I don't have many bags because I can really only wear my large oversized tote to work/school. I have a yellow purse, a tiny black and white kate spade purse, and a red frame bag from H&M--ridiculously cheap but it has lasted me years and suits my style to a T. I am missing an occasion bag, but I very rarely have occasions to wear such things anyway, so it can wait.

So I guess my strategy was to start with what I really needed, like a skeleton of a wardrobe, and then work my way up to the finishing touches like jewelry. Your list of basics might differ from mine, but think about what kinds of items will serve you well and will be versatile. Hope that helps.

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Regarding your body shape, here are some guidelines Angie has posted about on her blog that might give you a starting place. It's very normal to be mostly one body type, but tend toward another, so you might follow some of the rules of both. For instance, I'm an hourglass, but I have a strong shoulder line like an inverted triangle, so I follow rules for both those shapes. Here are guidelines for the Pretty Pear shape and the Hot Hourglass shapes:

http://youlookfab.com/2007/08/.....r-in-2007/

http://youlookfab.com/2006/04/.....hourglass/

shiny

Veteran

Congrats to you, and welcome!

I am in the opposite boat, two years ago I gained 20 lbs in just a month, for still unexplained reasons. I've long been prediabetic, diabetes runs very strongly in my family, and my blood sugar and cholesterol went completey crazy at the same time.

My doctor gave me a stern lecture and implored me to lose weight, or eventually go on meds. So I started eating right, quit smoking, and started exercising. It took one entire year but I did lose the weight, plus a little bit extra, landing at what my doc considers my "ideal" - not too thin and not overweight. And all my numbers are back in normal range again.

Like you, I had to completely purge my closet and rebuild. I found it helped to first take a good long look at my lifestyle. That's where I started. My lifestyle had changed drastically - I had to face facts I am a telecommuter now and don't really need a closet full of career wear. I needed jeans instead!

Next, I looked at items that I loved, and asked myself why I loved them - other than "making me look skinny." For example, certain items from my old wardrobe are coveted because the color suits me. Other items were coveted because they are classic and timeless. Still others, because they were just quirky or unique enough. Some, because of the fabric felt good on my skin. And others because they were versatile!

These - combined with a lifestyle assessment - are good clues about where to start.

Lastly, I found it really helpful to cultivate a positive attitude and work on ridding myself of negative thinking. For years, I've hated my body whether it was thin or fat, fit or healthy. It was never quite right. Well, I'm in my 40s now, and not only do I understand that weight is about health much more than how one looks in clothes, I'm also realizing this is the only body I've got, so I better just embrace it and learn to love it!!

So you may read me correcting myself ... flat butt is a "tiny" butt... I'm an "hourglass" not an "apple"... etc. I'm still working on it.

Be good and kind to yourself. That's the most important thing.

nenamatahari

=) Thank you Shiny. Those were really kind things.

As far as body shape, I think I'm a long waisted hourglass.

As far as what I liked about my old wardrobe. I had a lot of really striking things with rich eye catching fabrics.

=( *sniffle* I miss these really pretty blue iridescent paisley trousers. People always commented on how much they loved them. I can't wear those any more. Those were some of the most difficult to get rid of.

I love the European style for the most part. I love it when people ask me where I am from. Most American people who don't know me assume that I'm from overseas somewhere. It's not that "I don't want to look American." It's that I love to be able to blend in on a global scale like a world citizen. =)

lisamartin

Yeah! My prayers are with you- I struggled with anorexia all through college- even going in to the hospital didn't help. I started to get better when I was around 25- but I struggle with food issues every day!
I am very happy for you- it is a very isolating and lonely disease. Your life will begin in a whole new way- please try to love yourself. One thing you know about yourself- you are a VERY strong lady- to live through it and to come out of it is a miracle.
I will be thinking of you and wishing you the best.

nenamatahari

Thank you so much, Lisa. That's very kind of you. And I wish the best for you as you heal from this awful disease!

christie

Nenama,

I am sorry to hear about your battle with anorexia. That is certainly a difficult thing to overcome. It is good that you are on the road towards recovery.

If you are rebuilding your wardrobe, I agree with Maya that you need to start with the basics. I don't know your size, but I am assuming you are still fairly small, for that reason and others, I suggest you stay away from places like the Gap, BR, or JCrew, and other American-based clothing companies. I am fairly small, though by no means tiny, and I have a hard time finding clothing to fit at those places. I am sized out. Places with a euro base like Esprit are probably a better bet.

You said that you like the "european" style, which leads me to think also that those stores are not a good start. Although there is not one European Style, I gather that you mean polished and classic, though slightly fashion forward. Esprit, I think, does that well, but others do, too. Angie will probably suggest Zara, which she loves. I visited Zara when I lived in Italy, but I don't have one closer to me in the states, so no luck there.

Since you are starting from scratch, I would begin by focusing on quality. Buy a great pair or two of jeans that you intend to keep for the long haul. Buy them in dark denim and in long-lasting cuts (boot cut or straight leg, say). I really like Diesel, which is an Italian brand and good quality, but there are many others. Buy a few nice tops that are versatile--button downs if you like, or nicer knits. Purchase some t-shirts or camisoles to layer underneath, a fashionable jacket, and some jewelry or scarves, and you'll be all set.

Everything you buy from there out will be putting your own signature on the style.

Good luck with everything.

Nicole

Veteran

Renee, are you at your ideal weight yet? Are you still working toward that? If you're body is still adjusting, I'd hate to see you spend a fortune on clothes that need to be replaced again.

nenamatahari

I am at my ideal weight. I am 5'8" (1,73) and weight about 140 pounds (is that 70kg? Do you divide pounds by 2?). I gain about five pounds (2.2 kgs) in PMS bloating once a month.

Nicole

Veteran

Oh then you are definately ready to do investment pieces.