Angie asked me to start a new thread with the specifics. My sister the ordained minister is getting married, 6:30 in the evening, at the church where she is in charge of youth ministry, on our late father's birthday. I have a really large tattoo on the side of my calf that MUST be covered; while my family mostly doesn't say anything about it, I know they hate it. I also feel clueless, because my life has been so casual for so long that I am a bit insecure about what to wear for such an important event.
So, I tried asking my sister for specific guidance, but she won't answer me (I've been a major source of stress for my family for decades before I got sober and I'm guessing she is avoiding having to hold my hand while I choose an outfit. Mom did give me more information. She kept saying maybe "those flowy pants, satiny like material, that are so popular right now" (which I think is mom-speak for palazzo pants), which wasn't that helpful. So I asked what DH would be required to wear; an actual suit was the answer, which made mom say the dress code could best be described as "semi-formal".
side note: my mom laughed when I told her I was crowd sourcing help on a fashion/style forum led by a professional stylist. She said "you know how to do this", which was true once upon a time but not anymore since my life has been so casual for so long.
The groom and his two brothers/groomsmen are wearing black suits, not tuxedos. The bridesmaids are wearing short black dresses. Mom is wearing a full length, steel blue, MOB dress with a jacket (she wants her arms covered, and is walking my sister down the aisle which has me feeling all the feels). So other than mom's formal dress, it sounds like everybody else is semi-formal and the even is rather relaxed.
I am personally more comfortable in pants, if they're appropriate (and Mom says they are, which I tend to believe since she is as adamant as I am that I blend into the background) I've ordered the silk pants in the find in black because they might work, according to what mom said. If they aren't appropriate, that's OK, I'll wear them for other things and they were clearance-priced-to-move. I am OK with a full maxi skirt if I need to wear a dress or skirt.
So, any help picking an outfit with or without these pants is greatly appreciated. Top, shoes (flats or heels, either is OK), accessories. I am not a part of the wedding, so I am not expected at rehearsal dinners or anything, just a guest at the wedding that needs to blend into the background.