I love you for this post Cindy. Your thoughtfulness towards your sister and family is awesome and I hope they will appreciate it! I totally also think that you should keep the money you spend down somewhat because you and DH's house is your dream. So maybe Zara or somewhere like that will be your friend. I agree with whoever said that the pants or maxi skirt come first before the shoes, as more crucial to the look. Sending hugs!

Jenni, my mom said something similar. She said "there's plenty of time, watch the sales" One of my fave consignment shops in Dallas has their first Saturday sales every month, and retail is always having sales, and I'm near a lot of high-end department stores off price branches and tjmaxx locations with "the runway" and I have some reward points I can cash in to help. I'm trying to be responsible instead of using this as an excuse to buy something completely fabulous and expensive and utterly useless after the event LOL

Cindy just want to say how lovely your post is. I was really touched by your love for your sister and your family and how you really want show that love and respect in how your present at the wedding.

I am not a lover of dresses for occasions so some lovely dressy pants would be awesome! I have a friend who attended a formal function in a beautiful black pant suits. I was so impressed and she looked so stylish that I have never bothered to stress out looking for formal dresses for events now.

That is great input from your mom. Gives some direction but nothing tying you down or scary. What she said makes me think of dressy, pretty( in a happy way, not twee), marking the occasion, rather than a rigid dress code, though semi- formal is right, it means there's no expectation of ball gowns everywhere. Her talking about silky fabrics and flowy sets the tone-- not that you can't do tailored fits rather than flowy if those fit better, I think it's just guiding toward nice special- occasion outfits rather than standard workwear or casual, but there's still a whole great range that lets you find the " you" outfit.

Yeah, it's definitely a relief, unfrumped. I'm a bit more comfortable with semi formal than I was with formal, but I'm still hopeful Angie can give me some ideas because I'm kind of lost with top and shoes and accessories LOL

I just ordered some plain basic black wide leg silk pants from yoox;, even if Angie vetoes them I'm keeping them for other uses. They were too good a deal to pass up with their sale going right now + free shipping til midnight

In my experience the pressure to find something you think you can wear again can just make the whole thing more difficult. Also, your desire to do right by your family and make up for your past is really nice - but it sounds like this will be a large event and your family isn't that concerned about the details of your attire. In short.... as long as it's appropriate, it won't matter all too much what you wear. At the same time it's ok to spend some money and effort to feel comfortable If you end up with something you know you won't wear again, consider selling or even just donating it while it's still current, so you can imagine someone else getting use of it.

Cindy, Vix said exactly what I was thinking, and so did your mother: you've got this. It'll be fun to find a great outfit. Your mother and sister will be thrilled to have you, the current you, not thinking about ghosts of the past.

One question - are bare shoulders ok for the church setting? I know nothing about megachurch culture but my sense is that it wouldn't be a problem.

What a lovely occasion and I am sure you will look wonderful. I could see you in either the maxi skirt or palazzo pants option, with an elegant top. These pieces are timeless and can be worn again even if it is five to ten years. A very simple top with a unique pendant could work well.

I am not an expert on Southern Church weddings/colour choices in that scenario.

I really enjoy this thread and can't wait to see what you will wear for your sister's wedding. I think that you're being really considerate and nice, and I'm sure you will find something that you'll feel great and comfortable in. I think that what Runcarla wore for her son's wedding was a wonderful, elegant look, and if you see yourself in something similar, go fot it. If black is not really appropriate, then dark blue might be, and it's very in this season. Good luck and don't forget to enjoy!

Another here who is touched by the consideration you are showing to your family. I like the idea of dressy pants or long skirt - a la Carla - with a glamorous top, if that is suitable, and I agree with Jenni not to spend too much if you are veering away from your usual style preferences (easier said than done, I know). You still have plenty of time, so good luck with the search.

I loved your post
I think palazzo pants would look fantastic. If you can get a matching top the column of colour thing looks really classy. Also, if you end up going for a long skirt, keep in mind that you could have it shortened after the event, which may make it more wearable for you.
And I have to mention that my mum walked me down the aisle too and it WAS awesome.
It's going to be fabulous, and so are you!

Jules, apparently, they're not too worried about it. I've tried to get my sister to weigh in and she hasn't. Maybe that means she isn't worried about my ability to be situationally appropriate these days LOL. Also, my mom says my sister keeps saying that this is going to he relaxed, and she & my mom are going to have fun planning it.

Greyscale, I've attended service at this church in the past, and it actually is pretty relaxed. I wore jeans and didn't stand out. I think my sister even tried on a strapless dress, but she nixed it because of her need for a supportive bra. So bare arms or shoulders should be ok.

Sal, my mom said buy black pants (I seriously think she wants me in Palazzo pants the way she kept talking about this flowy pants that are so popular right now LOL), and she reminded me that my sister isn't a fan of many colors in her own home/wardrobe. I think I'm probably safe in pretty much any shade of blue on top without shocking my sister's neutral color sensibilities

Adela & Summer, I love what runcarla wore! She looked so relaxed without looking relaxed, if that makes sense. Also, it was very elegant. And if that's what I wind up with, at least it will be something I love enough to keep around for any future events or just to make me smile when I see it hanging in my closet.

Brooklyn, I'm about to cry again! It's not a bad cry. I just think it's so beautiful that your mom walked you down the aisle, and my mom is walking my sister.

I just want to give you a big hug Cindy. Your care snd compassion fir your family shine brightly yet also your need to be yourself. I would do huge plazzo pants or that beautiful skirt with pockets.

Aw you are a nice sister! I love the idea of separates because they are more likely to be worn later and can be dressed up or down more easily. But I would go try a bunch of stuff on and see what feels good.

Did you see the black and white stripe outfit that Angie posted this morning on the blog about scarves? I saw that before I read your post and thought "I'd wear that to a wedding."

Sober, present and of service, that's the gift you are going to be able to give your sister on this joyous day. I'd make sure the shoes are comfortable so you can run around and help at the last minute, and have room in your handbag for a lot of tissues. What a chance to trust in the fact that you now know how to intuitively handle situations that used to be baffling. You've got this.

Ledonna, I'm hoping I can find really wide leg Palazzo pants that work, or a maxi skirt that's really full. Something like that was already on my wish list for the year anyway.

Robin, yes. I think separates would definitely be usable in the future more than a dress. I just don't do dresses

Rambling Ann, thank you. Sometimes I forget the promises of recovery and get stuck in "OMG WTH I has confuse!" Now to go check that blog post

Cindy, when I first read your post, I thought of an outfit like this. I don't love this EXACT top (because it is low in the back with a HUGE bow and it's cropped, too) but there are so many pretty, long-sleeved, lace tops available right now that would pair with silky wide pants. A stretch knit one would be comfortable and pretty.

Your mom and sister seem like good people...and you, too. You are going to be fine!

Emily, funny you add that outfit that has a pair similar to something I just bought. I just ordered these pants in black (never a light color for a wedding!) in the hopes that they would be Angie approved for the wedding. I'm waiting on yoox to ship them. If they aren't Angie approved, that's OK. They weren't much at all and I'll wear them on casual days when I don't have to do any labor. That top in your find/pic is pretty!

As I am relatively new here, I wonder: Who is supposed to answer "Ask Angie"-questions? Are you OK with reading answers and comments from many more than Angie, or are such answers and comments not actually wanted? If you wanted comments from many others, wouldn't you have chosen "Start a conversation"? Or have you chosen "Ask Angie" to be sure to get an answer from Angie herself?

Cat, Angie does answer the "ask Angie" posts. She weighed in once this weekend and said that we need more information to get me sorted, so I'm waiting to hear her suggestions now that I have the specifics.

I'm ok with all of the other suggestions, too. TBH, the ladies here have pretty darned good taste

Cindy. Start a new thread on the specifics.

Thank you. I saw Angie's comments and look forward to see what she will suggest.

I haven't had time to read all the other comments. However, my first thought was: Why not borrow or hire an outfit?

But my second thought was: A black maxi skirt can be styled in numerous ways (also in years to come) and therefore may be worth to buy and own. I actually known this from my own experience. For decades, I have always owned at least one black maxi skirt. I have been to several formal parties, including weddings, and my black maxi skirts have served me well, styled with different tops and toppers.

When choosing colours, try to avoid wearing all black, all white or all cream for a wedding. (All black is associated with funerals and mourning. And all white or all cream should be reserved for the bride.) But black & white patterns, as well as a black bottom with a white or cream top (or vice versa), is totally acceptable. So are pastels.