It can feel as if all the flatness and all the picket fences are emprisoning

Precisely! The wide expanses of road, shoulder, parking lot on either side of the road can feel aggressively ugly. The "New Urbanist" buildings where we live taunt me because although it may look like a sweet little town, the "village" consists of restaurants and spas/gyms, nothing one needs for daily life. I walk for exercise, as do many others, but the heat means going that the grocery and drug store that are each 2+ miles in opposite directions on foot is difficult. One of the things I look forward to when we move is once again being able to pick things up as I walk/bike through my regular day. I might push myself to bike more on errands this fall, once it's cooler out, even though it is more difficult. Thanks for your reply, Krishnidoux It's the first time I have heard anyone really commiserate and "get" what's going on with me in this way.

Bra fittings: there is a "fancy" store I've been eyeing for a couple years for a special purchase. I don't think I'm ready, body-wise, for that big splurge, but maybe I should do a check for now at Nordstroms or a stripper shop, of which there are many in my area.

For bra fittings, go to Nordstrom's and tell the sales associate about your weight loss and plans for further changes. She will find you a good inexpensive interim bra. This is especially important if you are an unusual size, either smaller or larger. In my experience as a smaller breasted person, many shops will try to slap me into a 32B when it is not my actual size at all and is uncomfortable, plus it wears out faster because ill fitting. (I'm a 30D or DD). There are good online tutorials about how bras should fit and if you search the archives you'll find lots of links.

I can also empathize about suburban living. I grew up in a suburb and could not escape fast enough.

When I lived in the suburbs, I didn't. I accidentally moved into the ghetto, and then never left, because I couldn't take those lawns 24x7. Lol.

Growing up in suburbia, I was fine. I didn't know what I was missing, lol. My parents are classic midwesterners who shudder at the notion of big cities, so I did too, until much later. I remember one prof in my PhD program explaining to me particularly clearly why I should know something about NYC. Looking at population demographics also helped--"normal" people (in the statistical sense) don't live in the country. And then came those years in Berlin, and looking back at my time in Austin, I realized that was citified too. Since then, lots of other things have flowed into this preference for urban living, which doesn't have to be gritty by any means

She's psychic! Look what Angie wrote 5.5 years before my post. https://youlookfab.com/2012/01.....e-outfits/

I just added this post to my blog, because I keep referring back to it and can find it more easily if it's on the blog.

Looking back at the conversation on defining my style, I think one thing that's missing is that I need to tone it down. I'm on the tall side, my voice really carries, I don't do a lot of diminutive female gestures.... People's responses tend to be hot or cold. It's great when people like me, sure. But even if I just let a little of my crazy peak out, people who love that will spot it and we'll be good. People who respond negatively don't need to be egged on by me being exuberantly flamboyant. They can get over some things about me, and I can pipe down a bit. So intense colors and RATE and freedom to move & groove describe me and my style, but I'd like to think I have some class/polish as well, and I want my appearance to reflect that.

And I'm stopping at Nordstroms for a bra fitting today.