Adding "soft and pretty" detail to casual outfits - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

Adding "soft and pretty" detail to casual outfits

Helena

Veteran

Hi all, a question for you wise fashionistas - how can a person add "feminine" detail to uber-casual style? (caveat - I know the word "feminine" can be a loaded term, but I can't think of a better one for the question - so please excuse the stereotype, or guide me to a better one thx xx)

I am SO uninspired by all my minimal/simple pieces at the moment, but I know, for me, a small tweak is better than a big shift. I'd like to add a couple of casual tops with maybe a bit of soft/feminine detail, without going over-the-top. A few ideas I've had:

avoid new crewnecks and consider some more open necklines, like a soft v or scoop, that could showcase a necklace or two nicely
it looks like criss-cross/wrap-style tops are still around; could try a tee or sweater in this style?
simple casual top with "feminine" trim - perhaps a small ruffle, lace, or something?

Not quite sure where I'm going with this, so hoping you all might get the creative juices flowing - thanks and happy Thursday! xox

ETA - A smattering of finds for inspiration. Maybe "soft" is the word I'm going for? Lots of small drape, soft fabric, and soft lines here? The trick is finding the pieces that are uber-casual ... which some but not all of these are ...

Pack Of 3 Mother Of Pearl Necklaces

View Info

Top Pick

2

Layered Disc Necklace Set

View Info

Top Pick

2

Madewell Treasure Pendant Necklace Set

View Info

Top Pick

7

Sejour Sejour Knot Hem Tee (Plus Size) | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

1

The Pima Micro Rib Scoop-Neck

View Info

Top Pick

2

Faux Wrap Pullover Sweater

View Info

Top Pick

1

White House Black Market

View Info

Top Pick

2

Drape Wrap Sleeveless Top

View Info

Top Pick

7

Gap Pacifica Wrap Front Tank

View Info

Top Pick

1

Chenille Sweater

View Info

Top Pick

1

Banana Republic

Threadsoft Wrap Top

View Info

Top Pick

2

Rebecca Taylor Rebecca Taylor Ruffle Neck Merino Wool Sweater | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

1

ModCloth ModCloth Ruffle Sleeve Cropped Cardigan | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

2

View Info

Top Pick

5

Leith Leith Rib Wrap Sweater (Regular & Plus Size) | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

0

Faux Wrap Knit Top

View Info

Top Pick

12

Classic Solid Popover Shirt

View Info

Top Pick

2

1901 Ruffle Sleeve Cotton Blend Top

View Info

Top Pick

0

Ribbed Ruffle Cuff Top

View Info

Top Pick

1

Lace Trim Flutter Sleeve Knit Top

View Info

Top Pick

3

Openwork Embroidery Blouse

View Info

Top Pick

2

Point Sur merino wool ruffle tank sweater

View Info

Top Pick

1

Dressing

40 replies

Latest reply was from Janet

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

You are on the right track.

I use the words "soft, pretty and powerful" to describe "feminine" since I don't use the word.

GENTLE REMINDER: This is a very subjective topic, and what I see and feel may not be what you and others see and feel. At the end of the day, you are as soft, pretty and powerful as you feel on the inside. Full stop. And all good.

Helena, your hair is very soft and pretty - and powerful! So is your dainty jewellery. And the usual lace, romantic flounce, open neck and wrap styles you have here are dead right. Peplums too.

Colours and neutrals can evoke soft and pretty for me too. For example, I often chose the light, bright or white version because to my eye it's prettier than the black or grey. Personally, I think navy is prettier and softer than black, so that's why I choose dark blue 99.9% of the time.

As for crew necks - I wear them all the time! See pic #1 - but with pretty pearls. My red eyewear adds softness, as does a polished layer of light make-up.

Pic #2 shows bright red and orange. I would not feel soft, pretty and powerful wearing the same combo in black, olive and grey.

FABRICS, PATTERNS and TEXTURES evoke soft and pretty too.

Lots to think about

This post has 2 photos. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

nemosmom

Veteran

The trick is definitely the uber-casual requirement! I think of Kate Middleton's recent outfit with the burgundy sweater and olive pants and her top read soft/feminine to me - open weave, scalloped neckline and sleeve edges, but it could be casual.... I think you are on to something with your Finds - I see soft/feminine in the textures - interesting shoulder seams, lace - Maybe the key is sticking with knits so you don't creep into blouse/dressy territory?

This post has 1 photo. Photos uploaded by this member are only visible to other logged in members.

If you aren't a member, but would like to participate, please consider signing up. It only takes a minute and we'd love to have you.

Helena

Veteran

Angie, thanks! I like the words you've chosen ... That's exactly what I was trying to get at, but much better than I did ... I totally agree and in no way want imply that someone is more or less feminine based on clothing. Thanks! And thanks for all the wise food for thought. Step one will be to evaluate what I've got in my closet using the list of ideas you've given, then I'll see if there are a few strategic pieces I could add to up the "soft, pretty and powerful" factor in my wardrobe. Xx

Helena

Veteran

Nemo, I saw a similar sweater at Zara and I can't wait to try it on! Great ideas, thank you

taylor

Veteran

I agree that jewelry adds a noticeable feminine touch to outfits. I also believe the way one moves , speaks and carries oneself carries a lot of weight .
Adding headbands or clips also softens up a look , pretty shoes and handbags too.

JuniperGreen

Veteran

I love this question/quest!

I think a lot about the strategies Angie has mentioned, and about what elements I can shake up when I want to add more "soft" and "pretty" to looks that aren't quite doing it for me.

Like, leather or denim jacket worn with my hair curled... an all-black look with bright pink lipstick... a column of color but in pale shades/creams.

I think we have some similar minimalist leaning finds. I recommend Gorjana jewelry for layering and little bits of sparkle - the price point is good and I've been impressed by the quality (and customer service, when I order directly from the brand).

Gorjana Taner Bar Small Necklace

View Info

Top Pick

0

Gorjana Chloe Mini Choker

View Info

Top Pick

1

Gorjana Willow Pendant Necklace

View Info

Top Pick

0

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Helena, - good strategy.

(Can you still post comments on the blog, btw? All good?)

I deal with clients who want to feel soft, pretty and powerful ALL the time. It means different things to different people. Gender is very, very fluid these days, and I try to be sensitive, aware and thoughtful about that.

More food for thought:

I have clients with buzz cuts who feel soft, powerful and pretty.
I have clients and friends who ONLY wear black, white, grey and olive and feel extremely soft and pretty.
I have clients who have to wear earrings and nail polish to feel soft, pretty and powerful.
I have clients who keep their hair long and wear heels to feel the same.

So, if I compare how I compensate for: my hair is short, I never wear heels, I never wear low necklines, I barely do body con, I don't do earrings or nail polish, and I hardly wear jewellery! These are traditional "feminine" variables that I do not incorporate into my style. Soooooo I do soft, pretty and powerful with colour, fabric, light neutrals, patterns, pattern mix, textures, polish, playfulness, pearls, flounces, lace, frills, puffs, and an extra spring in my step

Nemosmom, that's a beautiful example. Kate's HAIR adds a lot of soft and pretty to my eye.

JuniperGreen, sooo nice to see you chime in! Love your strategies.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I'll add that Fabbbers like Brooklyn, Taylor and Janet wear a LOT of dark colours. But they are heavily adorned with jewellery, wear make-up, have long hair, often wear heels, and always sport a pretty bag - which brings things back to soft, pretty and powerful to my eye.

Anonymous

I think you’re on the right track Helena and listed some great ideas already. The v neck tops and anything with lace are subtle yet effective, as are tank tops. Sweaters or button down plaid shirts that aren’t oversized also work. A cute belt that is an inch wide or skinny worn with your pants can also give that subtle feminine touch, as will jewelry and you wear both of those already perfectly A cute bag also works.

Jules

Veteran

I don't see a lot of puffed shoulders in your items, and I think those are available currently? I'm not shopping much this season but that's my impression.
I often use delicate/subtle jewelry and specifically earrings to feel pretty. A little more boho/vintage than your style, but I specifically like pieces made from upcycled vintage components, seed pearls, and regular pearls in blush, off white and other colours that are softer than the classic white. Small drop earrings feel prettier to me than studs. Manicures can be light opalescent neutrals rather than statement colours. Do you already wear ballet flats? Perhaps a pretty cashmere or silk scarf in blush or a floral? Nordies had a nice one last year that was posted here and it was an easy thing to ask my husband to get me for Christmas as a nice treat for me and an easy click for him.

SarahD8

Veteran

Some good strategies (that are compatible with the work-from-home lifestyle that we share) that are emerging for me are:

-a short, lightweight, dainty necklace
-small dangle earrings
-scarf as headband or around ponytail
-open necklines, bonus points for a shawl or portrait collar
-a little bit of strategic volume on top. What I mean by that is that to me, fitted tops don't read as "soft" (I have a really different reaction to that Kate Middleton outfit than nemosmom -- she looks great, but to me her look is very tailored and even sharp in a sense. YMMV)

I think overall what I'm aiming for in this mode is a kind of off-duty ballerina reference. Again, ymmv.

rachylou

Veteran

Flowy things with drape is what comes to my mind. Blouses v shirts.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I hear you loud and clear because this can also sometimes be an issue for me. Working from home could lead to a jeans-and-t-shirt uniform (or the winter equivalent) and that gets boring really fast! And you end up feeling less than your best.

Like Angie, I have short hair and I often wear crew or turtlenecks because of my long neck. I do wear earrings (every day) but don't often wear necklaces and so apart from earrings and bracelet/watch I can't really rely on jewellery to "prettify" my look.

My goal is usually some polish -- so to that end:

Light makeup every day.
Make the hair look as good as it can.
Think in terms of "outfit."
Choose my happy colours.

When I'm aiming for a "prettier" feel, some of the pieces I tend to wear include items like those in the Finds. Let me explain:

1. A silk shirt feels "flowy" and elegant and if it is in an uber-flattering colour, so much the prettier.

2. A simple knit crew neck in a luxe fabric (silk and merino) feels nice against the skin. Also, colour flattery for the win.

3. A casual dress is still a dress!

4. A luxe silk scarf prettifies the simplest crew neck.

5. An unusual neckline is pretty. (As in the Kate example that Nemosmom supplied.)

6. Even a simple crew in a super flattering colour can be pretty.

7. An envelope or boat neck -- satisfies my need for winter higher necklines and yet feels more pretty to me.

8. A fun print or mix elevates a simple style.

Eileen Fisher Eileen Fisher Silk High-Low Blouse Silk High-Low Blouse

View Info

Top Pick

6

Banana Republic

Silk Cashmere Crew-Neck Sweater

View Info

Top Pick

12

Banana Republic

Turtleneck Sweater Dress with Button-Sides

View Info

Top Pick

7

Treasure&Bond Treasure & Bond Floral Print Tassel Silk Scarf | Nordstrom

View Info

Top Pick

14

Banana Republic

Machine Washable Merino Scallop Crew

View Info

Top Pick

6

Collection cashmere long-sleeve tee

$188.00 $129.99

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

13

Equipment 'Sloane' Print Cashmere Sweater

$308.00 $123.20

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

32

Vince Boatneck Tee

Sale

View Info

Top Pick

20

Anonymous

I'll come back to read everything posted above, but one thing immediately came to mind: go have a look at OneLittleMomma, if you haven't already. She does "pretty and feminine" really well - and I won't bother worrying about the exact and intended (or not) meaning of those words right here/right now. She has been wearing wonderful lace blouses with puff sleeves and mixes those up with distressed jeans (for example) and loads of interesting jewellery. Although she is sporting a more hard-edged look of late,she does show a lot of interesting tops you might like. You share her body -type too, from what I can see .

Anonymous

Oh, and I have to agree with that recent Kate Middleton outfit. I don't usually relate to her look, but that burgundy top and olive pants were OUTSTANDING. And her reddish hair ! Wow

Helena

Veteran

Thanks everyone!

Lisa, I am down the rabbithole of One Little Momma - you were bang on with her interesting tops and feminine pieces. I think I would replace her edge with my polish to keep it from getting too floaty. Thanks SO much for the reco!
Taylor, definitely - I noticed today I need new black dressy-casual shoes, so I'll look for some with something soft and pretty about them!
Juniper, such pretty pieces!
Jess, thank you!
Jules, great suggestions, small soft dangles are on my short-term wish list. Puff sleeves are a great option too; I've seen several around.
Sarah, great suggestions and great perspective since you share a similar dressiness (or lack of!) vibe
Rachy, yes, I agree!
Suz, great list and finds! Adding another BR silk-cashmere sweater to my list - I have one in a teal/turquoise/green sort of colour; a softer colour would change it up. Sadly, my knits are mostly merino and my stupid sensitive skin has decided to protest this year to all but the softest of them *sigh* ... so that's another justification for a new crew

Going to make a checklist of all these suggestions and wear as much as I can of them from the closet for a while. I feel like this might be the beginning of a slightly altered style direction and am actually excited about it, which is nice! xx

DonnaF

Veteran

To me, the softest and prettiest is a white or pastel angora sweater. . . Juxtaposition aside, I would say almost anything that wasn't borrowed from the boys/men. So that leaves out any style or fabric/pattern that your husband might wear. No stompy boots.

The wrap top below just went on sale. They are linen, however.

Treasure&Bond Linen Knit Wrap Top

View Info

Top Pick

0

Treasure&Bond Linen Knit Wrap Top

View Info

Top Pick

0

Helena

Veteran

Oh, I love that top Donna!

Sheryl

Think about adding literal and stylistic softness. Check Naadam.co. They have lovely wool and cashmere items. Check out the hoodie dress for uber-casual, and the boatneck sweaters. The hoodie dress and the boatneck sweaters are 100% cashmere, and they are the softest cashmere I've found.

ChristelJ

Veteran

I can't add anything to all the great suggestions above, but I am excited too about your "slightly altered style direction", just because I think although you look beautiful in anything you wear, it's fun to change things up a bit sometimes so you feel more fab than ever.

Sal

Veteran

I like all the suggestions above.

It is the small details - a blouse rather than a tee, maybe a necklace with a tee and maybe leather shoes rather than sneakers.

I loved Kate in the culottes, they looked so great on her. I think she is looking fantastic this year in her midi dresses as well.

I do think waist emphasis can help eg higher waisted jeans rather than lower waisted.

Brooklyn

Veteran

I think about this a lot! A couple of extra thoughts:

I think some prints are softer than others. I think of florals, dots, jacquard and warm leopard type prints as softer. Stripes, geometrics, plaid and snake print are more sharp and harder (in my opinion).

I also think gold, rose gold and brass jewellery generally reads warmer and softer than silver or pewter jewellery.

And knit tops are generally softer than woven shirts.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Reading this thread has been very enjoyable! I sometimes look at myself with my grey short curly hair and do feel the need to add some pretty. My earrings help and I am always experimenting with lipstick and color. I do wear a lot of soft blouses also. I will be thinking more about this!

Greyscale

Veteran

If you're looking to add a simple basic that has a feminine flair, I just got this tee from J Crew with slightly puffed sleeves and a button / keyhole at the back. It's a step up from a regular tee but still reads as very casual. Great quality. And, the puffed sleeves still fit easily under a cardigan or jacket.

Even though I usually work against feminine as a descriptor for myself, I found that this tee was perfect for me to dress up my jeans outfits. (Mine is black.)

J Crew only has it in this pink color now, but it came in white and black also, and Nordstrom might still have those.

Puff sleeve T-shirt

View Info

Top Pick

0

Joy

Veteran

Amen to all Angie said. I wear a blouse with ruffles with jeans and pearls...earrings at least. I wear light neutral shoes with studs ( two pair of white booties plus some pale ankle straps). You can wear simple tops like soft cashmere sweaters in baby pink or baby blue or with ruffles with tough looking jeans and light neutral shoes. My pink loafers have been magical in giving softness and prettiness to an outfit that would look completely tough with black footwear. My white ruffled Rack top is perfect for creating a bit of romance with jeans. Same with a soft white alpaca cardigan.

cindysmith

Veteran

I have yet to come up with a better way to describe 'it' than feminine, so I've just started qualifying it with an additive like 'traditional'. Still not optimal, but for me it works.

I like how jewelry or a scarf or different shoes can change the tone of an outfit. For me, I tend to have my days when I want to present a more 'traditionally feminine' feeling in an outfit, but I don't do dresses or skirts or ruffles or anything.
Makeup can change the way an outfit feels, too. I go darker with my eye makeup (smoky eye type look) when I want to present more of an edgy or harder look; I go with softer eye makeup (more of a no-makeup makeup look) when I want to present a softer, more 'traditionally feminine' look.

Your minimalist clothes are kind of a blank slate. Shoes, bag, jewelry, accessories, makeup can all be played with to change the way an outfit reads to the observer.

Runcarla

Veteran

What Cindysmith said re: make-up. As a hardcore ‘team tomboy’ I find a couple of coats of mascara and a pinkish lipped with some gloss tips the balance.

Gigi

Veteran

It looks like you have a great start!

For me, feminine elements would be lace trim, delicate sweaters (especially if they have a dainty pattern woven into them), wrap tops, dainty jewelry, and ruffles.

I would avoid preppy styles, because I associate them more with menswear-inspired looks. But I'm not sure if that's just me?

I like Angie's suggestion of peplums.

You could maybe try some pastel colors, although those can make some complexions look washed out, especially in winter. I did wear a lightweight pink scarf today, and that juxtaposed nicely with my faux leather jacket. So you might be able to work in some pastels with accessories if you can find the right shade.

I think a lot could be done with the hair, although IIRC you prefer not to do a lot with your hair (?). I think that some soft curls with a large-barrel curling iron would add a lot of femininity, as in the Kate Middleton pic above. But I am not one to mess a lot with hair either, so take this suggestion for what it's worth! Maybe you could tie your hair back with a ribbon...although that might look kind of retro.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I can’t really add anything to the advice above which is all good.However I can tell you that Kate s top is from Warehouse and her trousers are from Jigsaw or so the British media say!

12