Oh, sigh. It's that time of the month, and I've recently had to realise that I DO get affected by it - I cannot anymore try to deny that hormones do affect me, whether I want it or not. So sure, I'm a bit extra moody and bloated, but, I cannot blame all of the feelings on that. Feeling chubby, dumpy, boxy... And while knowing deep down inside that it doesn't really matter one bit - that it's all about who you are, the way you feel about yourself, your aura, what you give out - and most of the time being able to handle these feelings; right now it just feels like I've completely forgotten how to.

Also, what it's mostly is about, is the fact that my body has changed the past years. And sometimes it's difficult to see that in the mirror. I don't always really recognise myself, it doesn't always really feel like me. And again, most of the times I can handle it, I can turn the thoughts around, I can focus on the good parts, on just feeling happy and proud about who I am. But occasionally the negative body aspects just take over completely. And I'm so sick and tired of it. Also, even though I mostly feel confident, proud and secure, I don't always see that reflecting in the mirror. Of course, I don't know if that's just my eyes being to hard on myself, and that others see me in another way (which I guess mostly is the case), or if there's actually something to that...

To be a bit more specific - I'm going out tomorrow night, and I have "nothing to wear". Sure, I do, but, nothing that the people I'm going out with haven't seen recently. So it would be great fun to find something new to add to my warderobe (plus, since I've recently moved from Sweden, I've been doing massive clean outs going through my clothes, throwing/giving away lots of stuff. So I do "need" to fill some gaps as well!), but I just don't know what to look for, what is flattering! I know I'll want a dress or skirt at the moment - I don't want tight jeans hugging my bloated tummy. But, more than that, I just feel at a complete loss as to what actually works for me... I try to think about the (amazing) advice I've been picking up from here, both for apples in general, and comments about my specific outfits and questions... but I'm just feeling terribly whiny at the moment, and just want someone to hand me a dress and say "Here! This will look stunning on you!". Oh my, such problems... I'm sorry about all this, but I know I'll feel better if I just get to put my thoughts on prints, and share it with all the smart, wise and wonderful people out here!

Now, I did try on a skirt today that I did quite like... I'm a bit wary that I'll find something that I feel could work for tomorrow night, but then not think any longer, ending up with something that will just sit on the hanger after tomorrow night... Has happened before, but is something I don't wish to repeat! I'm quite confident that this is a skirt I would be wearing more though; what I'm not sure about is whether it's at all flattering, or not. Unfortunately I didn't get any pics of it on me, but, this is the skirt: http://www.urbanoutfitters.co......38;bklist=.

In a way, it's slightly similar to these skirts of mine: http://i646.photobucket.com/al.....CF0170.jpg, and http://i646.photobucket.com/al.....4_6081.jpg - but it's longer, I promise! But it's quite similar by the waist and hemline - and the way it sort of accentuates my tummy "bump", that I have got comments about before, regarding these skirts. Though I guess it might be less obvious on this patterned one, than on the blue one. And also, in way I'm thinking like "Well, that IS how I look; isn't there a way I can embrace that, instead of just trying to hide it?". But ok, maybe there is, just that this isn't the best way...

So, where am I going with all this? I'm not sure, actually. I mainly just needed to share these thoughts, and I feel quite secure doing it here, knowing how supportive, friendly and positive the atmosphere is here. But, I'm sorry about the length of it all..! I don't even know if anyone has the energy to read all of this! Now, I usually manage to change the train of thoughts myself, sometimes just by getting a good night's sleep, but... it surely would be great to get any comments with support, cheers and/or recognition, to help me see it through..! So, if you have any thoughts, please do share..!

Loads and loads and even some more thanks!