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Your stress reducers...

Anonymous

Fancy sharing some wisdom with me. I would love to know what works for *you* when trying to reduce the feelings and effects of stress. Aside from totally wrapping myself in cotton wool and living as a recluse, I don't know what to do... absolutely everything makes me stressed and/or exciteable. Even nice things like going out make me feel stressed or just plain shattered; I'm just that kind of personality, grrr!

I know exercise helps, but that has had to be a bit off the agenda lately as I had a pulled rib muscle (possibly a cracked rib) and it was, till this week, far too painful and risky to try anything. Work has been a bit full on lately and the minute I get behind a bit (lately due to painful rib), I panic and feel like I will never get through it all. Sometimes I just want to quit completely. Can any of you wise ladies share coping strategies, relaxation ideas, remedies etc.? I had a check up at docs today and BP was high even though I'm on meds (I do get lower readings at home) I don't want to end up on any more meds though.

TIA to you.

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44 replies

Latest reply was from Angie

Anonymous

I am not great meditating on my own, but I absolutely love Terri Cole's meditation CD. I have it downloaded on my ipad and iphone. The meditations are short (mostly 6 minutes or so, some even just 2 minutes) and they really help me stay energized and calm! I have even gotten my husband into the habit of listening to a short one with me in the morning.

I sympathize with you about not being able to exercise. Exercise is my #1 emotional and mental filter. Yesterday I was feeling fretful and off-kilter until I went to Zumba class. Afterward I was in a great mood. My weekly Sunday gentle yoga class is also an amazing stress buster. It ends with a full 20 minutes of relaxation and guided meditation, and it resets my switch for the upcoming week.

I do find petting, brushing, and playing with my cats a great stress reducer too.

And then there's always wine, ha ha!

LACeleste

Veteran

Hi Diane,

I am sorry you are feeling stressed. I am a worrier very prone to anxiety so I totally understand.

Intense exercise has always been my go to but I am currently benched with a spinal disc injury so I also cannot sweat away the stress the way I used to.

I am doing beginner stretching videos. It is amazing what 10 minutes of calmness can do.

I am a fan of long soaks in the tub with lots of scented bubbles. ahhhhhhhh.

I think it was fabber K? who shared her experiences about meditation on the Healthy Habits thread. I want to try this.

I also pet or play with my cats and while a voice in my mind nags me that I am wasting time when I have other things to do, it is good for them and good for me. Bilbo would love it!

I hope you feel better!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Diane, modern medicine seems so limited to prescribing harsh drugs - I can totally understand NOT wanting to take anything more.

For me, I find that what I eat is extremely important to how my health goes. I have to eat a lot of iron as I'm always bordering on anemia (which can cause weird feelings of anxiety), I have to supplement with B-12 at least sometimes since I don't eat much meat and now I've been supplementing with Omega 3's, which I'd prefer to eat, but it's hard to get much healthy fish in the middle of Texas.

I don't really drink caffeine much anymore, except the small amount in green tea. And I'm not into sweets except fruit or the occasional treat. But both of those items can really cause issues if you're already anxious. I would also say do not drink any soda or eat anything with MSG and replace regular salt with sea salt to see if that might help.

I know potassium is really important for blood pressure regulation as is magnesium - I find that it's hard to get enough potassium in my diet without really trying, but I don't take a supplement. I try to eat bananas a couple times a week and lentils, etc.

What about probiotics? Have you considered trying these for a month or so to see if it helps? They can help in many different ways.

Glory

Veteran

Sorry to hear about this Diane. I am pretty stuck on Zumba as my go to stress reliever. I try to attend 4 - 5 classes per week and really feel fantastic afterwards.
If I feel completely downtrodden I listen to some comedy skits via You Tube - that may sound a bit odd but for some reason it helps me feel better overall.
And, I walk - either outside or on my treadmill.
I have tried yoga, and meditation but have never gotten far enough into it to have it work for me.

TraceyLiz65

(website)

Veteran

Meditation, Yoga, Journaling, Dancing to favorite music, Chocolate or a Chat with my Best Friend....

Sorry you are feeling stressed, hope things get better and you find something that works for you to help ease things...

L'Abeille

Veteran

I accidentally discovered--during a long trafficky highway commute when Pachelbel's Canon came on the radio-- that the right music will unwind my knotted neck and shoulder muscles like nobody's business--I think I was 1 1/2" taller by the end of it. I have learned to "play that tape" in my head when I need to quiet myself.

I also visualize a setting I find most relaxing. For me, it is paddling a canoe on a northern lake. Sometimes I will go for the satisfying crack of hitting a baseball with the bat (sadly, this rarely happens in the real world...). It is probably not a coincidence that both of those come not only with sensory and emotional memories, but also with an unconscious but actual stretching out of my trapezius (shoulder) muscles--which is where I carry my tension.

claracluck

Depeche mode just can't get enough does it for me or any john Williams film score music,being outside in the garden pottering about,an idiot abroad makes me laugh ( reminds me of hubby he hates holidays ).mooching around poundland or dunelms also switchs me off, then I just see problems with fresh eyes.hope this helps ,if all else fails my better half has a saying " don't churff "which is a black country saying I think, it works for me though. : )

Raisin

Veteran

My favorite stress reducers are a nice, hot bath (every night!), reading (in the bath!), watching shows and movies with DH, and yoga (though that might be tough with a sore rib). I also like to scrapbook but hardly get the time to anymore. I think getting a regular massage would be a great stress reliever too!

rabbit

Veteran

I echo a lot of these. I used to be a dedicated meditator for a decade, and it really helped, but the thing with meditation I found is a) don't necessarily expect results right away, it's kind of a gradual accumulation over time thing, the more frequently you make it a habit, and the longer you just sit there, the more your mind learns to eventually let go. Also, I found that it usually took me at least 40 minutes of sitting there for all the thoughts to 'boil off' to the surface to dissipate (I thought of it like a pot on the stove). So I might only have less than a minute or two of quiet at the end, but that was enough to make my whole day feel a little lighter.

What for me worked faster than meditation, and it doesn't matter what mood you are in to begin with, is singing/chanting. If you follow a spiritual tradition, singing songs or a mantra in that tradition can align you with the feelings that support and comfort you (I've been known to bust out the 'Hymn of Joy' if I'm alone). If you don't follow a spiritual tradition, singing songs that make you feel strong or centered can help. Even humming along with music you are listening to - think of yourself like a tuning fork, and you are aligning your vibrations to the music.

When I'm most anxious (flying), I take along Bach's Rescue Remedy (herbal spray or chews), and focus on my breathing and a mantra if I need to.

I second the playing with cats. I take them for 'walks' outside which involves me standing there in the garden while they sniff something and eat grass. I can't really focus on anything else because I don't want them to run off, so I just have to be there, on cat-time.

Also when I'm too grumpy for anything else, low-brow comedy TV, movies, or youtube can get me giggling, and that turns it all around. Me and my husband have been watching Workaholics 20 minute episodes at night when we are mentally tired out and stressed. They are so dumb, and we always find something shamelessly funny, and can't help smiling.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Hiking for me. But even a walk in the park helps. I like to take my camera and photograph pretty, interesting things.
Also getting together with friends for a glass of wine and chatting.

kerry

Veteran

I'm easily stressed and exciteable too. I think I'm this way, in part, because I'm an introvert and a highly-sensitive person. Too much stimuli - good or bad - requires recovery. I have no proven stress relievers and all of the suggestions here are great. I will have to try them out.

A couple of things that have helped me gain some perspective are watching Brene Brown's and Susan Cain's TED Talks. Brown's is on vulnerability and Cain's is on introversion. I've also read Cain's book, Quiet and Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection. This book, in particular, helped me reframe some of my experiences that were causing me stress. Basically, I started to identify places where I was trying to be perfect and then tried to let go of that. I've also taken the first part of Brene's online course and just started Part 2 this week. Amazing!!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Music - love Pachelbel's Canon & Mozart.
A walk near water preferably a beach.
Yoga, stretching, meditation.
Lifting weights.
A great book or film.

Deep breathing - many of us don't know how to breath properly, we are shallow breathers & become even more so when we are stressed. It's are to stay stressed when we are breathing well

I would also make sure there is nothing physically wrong - hyper-thyroid symptoms can be similar to the ones you are describing.

Deborah

Veteran

Sitting on the couch and having a cuddle with my DS and my DH is a great leveler and stress relic for me. It seems to ground me and remind what's important.

Also this like watching a good British crime thriller on my own, actually just time by myself is very therapeutic.

April

Veteran

Music.

Working at simple (some might say tedious) tasks that have an immediate result (folding laundry, cleaning something, organizing something small like one drawer).

Reminding myself of some extremely basic rules (mine are "first things first" and "one thing at a time").

Making lists.

Pause, breathe, breathe, breathe, carry on...

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I don't wear perfume at work. But I love the smell of it. So I shower at night after work using very fancy smelly shower gels. I have more different types of shower gel in my shower than shampoo.

Anonymous

I also stress myself unnecessarily, it seems silly later but at the time I can't reason with myself.

I know a short walk helps, and a big bath of bubbles. I do like a glass of wine but of course, medicating with alcohol is not ideal

I have been reading up on natural homeopath remedies for stress as we are moving, new jobs, DD going to uni, DS going t new school and I was trying to be proactive to avoid a meltdown. I read about Lemon Balm, also called melisse or Melissa, supposed to be safe, not toxic and not habit forming, lasts approx 6 hrs. I assume to use for short time periods but I only tried it once at night, can't say I noticed anything different. Hope you find some relief

Kristin L

Veteran

Have you tried Progressive Muscle Relaxation? I've had pretty good luck with one. Another thing that kind of goes like what Caro and Rabbit were talking about was a mediation "mental" chant. I like to be silent and I think if I actually started saying this at work I'd get strange looks. It does take practice, but one that I've liked was very simple. While taking a deep breath in I thought "I am" and then when exhaling, I thought the word "Calm." My mom gave me a book called Mediations in a New York Minute. It's been great for me while I'm trying to learn about mediation.

rabbit

Veteran

April's 'rules' and idea of doing a repetitive task (I do dishes) are so simple and so great.

My other mental sayings for being overwhelmed:

"it doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done". Because the weight of perfectionism can make me freeze up/go into procrastination mode.

"Ke Garne" - I learned this in Nepal. I think it basically translates into 'What to do!' or 'What can you do' and can be used to refer to almost any stuck or tight spot or hard to fix problem. For me it's a great way to acknowledge that sometimes things are just not going to be optimal, or are out of your practical control, and that's fine, let it go, do the best you can within your limits. Sometimes there just isn't a solution and you muddle through, and that's okay.

Also what K is saying, repeating a mantra or saying silently with the in and out breath, works really well in the moment. It's the way I was taught to go into a meditative state.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I like to work out, but if I can't, I clean my closet or make new combinations of outfits and pitter around.

Also, a tidy desk makes me happy, so I often tidy that up and listen to some tunes!

deb

Veteran

Gardening! I need to get dirt under my fingernails. I go into a trance weeding. And if it is really bad, I hack down any tree I have planned on removing. If there is no tree, there are always limbs to cut off. I have been known to garden by moonlight. The satisfaction is that I am cleaning up and making room for the new, whether it is in my hear or on the ground.

DonnaF

Veteran

For driving in traffic or driving on a boring super highway, I like to listen to audio books. If it's not a long continuous trip, it is better when the plot is not too complicated and there's not a zillion characters. For heavy traffic, I have found that hymns are more relaxing than lively music; I think it has to do with tempo and breathing.

My mom used to stress me out so that I would come home a wreck after seeing her. Some wise friends gave me this mantra which can be used with respect to anyone:

My ___ is fine just as she is.
I can try to understand why she does what she does, but I don't have to.
I give her to God.
I am fine letting her be just as she is.

Louise

Veteran

Oh no so sorry you're feeling stressed.

Is Bilbo a fussy cat? My favourite de stresser are my cats especially if they come and sit on my lap. The combination of the rhythmic stroking of them and the sound of them purring is my sure fire way to de stress.

I hate to admit but exercise also works for me.

Essential oils, though I'm not sure if it's a placebo but hey if it works its doing no harm. Grapefruit is my favourite for generally cheering up and de stressing and lavender helps me sleep x

Anonymous

Sorry for not getting back to this thread sooner. I ended up going to bed early last night as I was shattered.

Anyway, thank you so much for all the replies!. I knew you ladies would have a wealth of information and good ideas. I will need to re-read some of the replies many times over and take notes.

Firstly, Alicat, I'm going to download that CD, thanks.

I mentioned that I haven't been exercising, well, to be honest I have never been much of an exerciser, so maybe that is a good place to start properly. My favourite thing to do I think is walking actually. Oh, and I do love to pet Bilbo my cat

LACeleste, I like the idea of stretching. Perhaps that would loosen tight muscles a bit too.

Some of you mention soaks in the tub, something I should do more often perhaps?

Interesting about the supplements Textyle. I was taking fish oil regularly (omega 3) and when I ran out a few months ago I forgot to replenish. Must do that. I do avoid caffeine except for green tea, like yourself. I'm thinking along the lines of a B12 supplement too. I already take a good multi-vitamin which has a generous amount of magnesium in it, but interesting about potassium as the tablet I take for my blood pressure can actually lower potassium levels, crazy!

A couple of you mention classical music pieces, and that does appeal to me. I tend to have just the radio on when I work, but I wonder if it might make me feel calmer whilst working... I'm the same as you L'Abelle, I carry tension in my upper back and neck.

ClaraCluck, I love that Depeche Mode song! Love the Black Country saying too!

Bach's Rescue Remedy, I'd forgotten about that, thanks for the reminder Rabbit. I feel better now that you've said that meditation takes a bit of practise as I have felt a bit off put about trying it, but maybe that 2 minutes of getting it right at the end would grow to a few more with practice? You and K have given me a little more faith in the idea, along with the CD mentioned by Alicat.

Anna, I love walking too, but your mention of taking photos really appeals and you have now given me the idea of what I want for my upcoming 50th birthday in May... a DSLR camera! Thanks for the inspiration

Kerry, this is me to a 't' "Too much stimuli - good or bad - requires recovery".. I think I need to listen to my body more and recognise when my batteries need re-charging and whether exercise or rest are needed. Thanks for the book recs

Caro, I did get my thyroid checked a while back and they said it was ok. Another vote for music too, and I love beaches. If only I lived near one.

Will try the lemon balm, thanks A.

K, I know you've mentioned that you are trying meditation too. I'll look up progressive muscle relaxation and I like the idea of saying 'I am calm' whilst breathing slowly.

Wise words, thanks Rabbit. 'It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be done'...

I do garden Deb, but lately I tend to get a back ache or pull something when I've attempted it. My husband tells me I go at full pelt at it and need to just do it in short bursts instead. I never thought of gardening as good therapy though, I just tend to think of it as another chore, perhaps a change of mindset is needed.

Yes, Bilbo is a lovable puss, Louise I love to comb and stroke him

Phew! this reply took forever and apologies If I haven't mentioned everyone's names. Thank you all so much, you're very kind.

I will read the replies again and make some notes and perhaps a list or two.

Neel

Veteran

Great advices here Diane. I have nothing better to add....just wanted to pop in and say .... Hope you feel better soon. Take care x

Anonymous

Thank you Neel x

Just wanted to back and say I'm listening to Pachelbel's Canon... gorgeous!

rachylou

Veteran

Went to this "wellness clinic" once - like an Edwardian spa experience. Treatments, lectures, special diet. The whole bit, except no waters to take. Anyways, one of the doctors recommended three big, deep, long sighs. Not fancy breath control, just some big sighing. It is remarkably effective in the thick of it to shut off some of those stress hormones. At least I have found so.

Also developing a little phrase to get your head out of it can help. My fave is from the movie *Clueless* - Whatever. There is Scarlett O'Hara's I'll think about it tomorrow. And the classic *F* it, lol.

My whole theory on the matter is you have to do something to short circuit the loop your body and mind are in (hey, it's not all mind, right? and in lots of cases the mind is following the body). Get on a new track. Say something crazy, do something not on the current program.

Anonymous

Brilliant Rachy, thank you. I think I might have heard about the three sighs before. I love the idea about doing something totally different and short circuiting the pathways; makes a whole lot of sense.

BTW, I've being doing a far bit of saying 'eff it' lately!

kkards

Veteran

Diane, great advice so far. Here's what I do, and don't laugh. I find a pop song or 2 that really fit my mood, and I "perform" them (it helps that a commute by car, by myself, as I can't sing, but I don't let that bother me). And then when I'm done, I graciously accept my Grammy award. Now the thing about getting a Grammy award, is you only have about 2-3 minutes to speak, and the entire world is listening. So you really have to boil down what you want to say to its very essence. And you have to be nice, because, well, it may end up on utube or tweeted around the world. I find when I'm having a bad day, this helps me to reframe the negatives, ie someone criticized something go did at work that day, becomes, I'd like to thank X for helping me to rethink my approach and see the error of my ways. It's snarky, but it sounds nice. Your boss forgets to forward an email that contains critical deadlines, and now you've got 4 hours to get something done, and about 20 other things already on your to do list, becomes., I'd like to thank X for getting my blood pumping and insuring that today would be action packed. Then I pick up my award and get ready for the photo shoot.

Anonymous

Fabulous KK! What a great idea!

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