You cannot run from yourself, even in stylish high heels - YouLookFab Forum

Category

Dressing

Welcome! Read about what to wear and how to wear it on the YLF Blog. Join the YLF Forum to ask specific questions or just chat about fashion and personal style. Or check out the curated list of things we love in YLF Finds.

Outfits Ensembles Trends Advice

You cannot run from yourself, even in stylish high heels

celia

Veteran

Dear YLF,
I am in my break and see that there are many fabulous posts on which to comment.
However I wanted to talk to you about something that has been in my mind lately.
We have talked about how sometimes what we wear post-YLF is not that much different than what what we wore before, just with enough details that make the outfits look more current. I was totally ok with this, especially because I bought two pairs of high heels that have been making me a happy woman and somehow bring to this decade the more conservative office attire.
When Angie start talking about how brown was making a comeback , especially paired with dusty rose(or pale rose), I looked deep into the bowels what is currently my fall wardrobe and thought,"Yeap, I could use some brown pants.They would go with my cream suit blazer for early fall and I can pair it with some light pink toppers that I bought this summer as a transitional piece."
And then the annoying twin that lives in my brain asked "Wasn't that the exact same outfit you wore for your 28th birthday? The brown pants and the pink top?"
And she didn't stop there :" And brown pants with a cream blazer with a light colored sweater was exactly what you wore to work just after you had your DD."
My point is, do we, fashion wise, always circle back to certain options and just adapt the pieces so we don't look that out of touch?
Don't get me wrong, I love slim trousers and I love the blouson style blouses, my love for teal and purple still remains. But 'old-fashioned' work pants are still great part of my work look, and combinations of brown with light pinks, creams and camels, resurface in my wardrobe from time to time.
Should I be worried? Happy ?Not worry to much about it?
Do you feel that as much as you try not to,you always end up re-buying a certain item of clothing?
Please share.

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from E

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Ah, Celia.

Well, I have always worn denim, jackets (love a houndstooth jacket, especially...) and chelsea boots. I have always worn blue. I have always dressed simply without much jewellery and the jewellery I do wear, I've had for a long time. And yes, I do "re-buy" the same articles of clothing again and again. Hopefully not while I still have their cousins in my closet -- but I'm attracted to certain colour combinations, certain lines, certain patterns, and certain combinations.

Does it bother me? Not really. I think that's what "signature style" is all about.

JAileen

Veteran

As I read your post I thought back to the early 80s when I wore a mid tone brown suit with a dusty pink tattersall button down shirt. I felt very fab in it. Nowadays I don't wear pink, but since I apparently have morphed to a cool coloring, maybe I should think about it.

I do think that certain styles can ring true for us through the years. I like classic styles but also seem to be attracted to some aspects of hippie style. It shouldn't be a surprise considering where and when I grew up (SF Bay Area, 60s/70s)

E

Veteran

Isn't that the point of a personal style? Wearing what matches you best, both personality-wise and body-wise? So it makes sense you'd be attracted to similar items over the years. As long as they're updated versions, I think it's something to celebrate rather than worry about!

Alana in Canada

(website)

Veteran

My Mother, who is a sewer, once said to me that in some back room somewhere is a tall pile of patterns. Every twenty years or so, someone goes in to the room and just flips the pile and we worked our way through it again.

Jules

Veteran

Hmmm interesting that you can even remember specific outfits that were similar...
My take is similar but different. I *should* be happy that brown is back. It looks good on me and works with a lot of F/W colours I like... and after years of not wearing any form of pink I have even recently adopted blush, which might extend to/be close enough to dusty rose (I will be trying my spring 2014 blush moto with my 2008 brown menswear pants for fall....)
But unfortunately, brown still "feels" frumpy, dated etc to me! I don't think it helps that my kids are 4 years apart and I often pull out the saved clothing a little late... my oldest had a lot of brown clothes in 2008/2009, apparently. They looked SOOOO wrong when pulled out for my youngest, partly their different colouring, partly just plain dated. Brown is not at all a thing for little girls currently (haven't looked at the kids' fall stuff yet though) . It really made me think about colour cycles and longevity, and how much I really want to save for kid #2 going forward. But also about why the few pieces I do still have in brown, and look forward to wearing this fall, stood the test of time. And the other ways they might be dated (the fitted brown blazer with highish stance is not back "in" just because it is brown).
But my eye will adjust to brown being fashionable again, it always does...

lyn67

Veteran

This has to be the signature style as Suz said so well! I feel the same like both of you:-).

celia

Veteran

Thank you for your comments. I hope I do not sound as if I am saying that I always knew what suited me and always dressed well, because I actually felt the opposite.
Thinking about it more deeply I think that for great part of my life dressing had to do with acceptance and happiness. As I read in a blog somewhere, dressing in a certain way would make me be happier/thinner/prettier/have more friends/solve my life, so although I do remember complete outfits I do not remember if they looked good on me or if I felt fab on them. I just remember what happened(sometimes good, most of the time bad) in my life at that time. I actually used to purge clothes because I thought that whenever I wore them something bad would happen in my day.
In certain ways I have everything to be in a WNTH program, at least at the emotional level( I do realize that I never dressed truly bad, just maybe dowdy).
It is terrifying to think that I might be reverting to my 'old ways' even if logically I know that I am at a very different stage in my life.
I have been meaning to take pictures of my work outfits but haven't been able to.
Thank you for indulging me .

lari

exactly what E said! regarding your second comment celia - I think deep down we know what suits us best but most often than not we end up second guessing ourselves.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Suz, your response made me think about the post you had recently in which you showed what you wore to an annual garden party, going back several years. Your style has changed very perceptively over those years, at least as reflected in your attire for that event. It was interesting for me to read that you've always worn x, y, and z. . . because it looked to me like there was quite a big evolution. And yet, items alone do not make one's style--that is the point that I think your style shift illustrates. You may wear a lot of the same things you've always worn and loved. But you have a different way of wearing them and putting them together, you wear them in different silhouettes, and you're always combining them with fresh new things to keep your look current.

Celia, I think you may have hit upon some things that feel part of your unique style. You keep coming back to them. I do keep coming back to some things--I have the feeling I will never give up cardigans, for example, as much as I have tried to incorporate more jackets and pullovers into my wardrobe. I do wear jackets and pullovers now, but not to the exclusion of cardigans, which have been a mainstay for me for as long as I can remember. But I will say that the cardigan styles I wear have changed, some of them ever so slightly and others pretty dramatically, as I try to keep the cardigans more current looking.

BethL

(website)

Veteran

I think I understand exactly where you're coming from, Celia. In fact, I had an experience similar to this (I think) just yesterday. Part of my NAS order arrived by UPS, and included in it were the Wit & Wisdom brown skinny jeans that were one of Angie's picks. I have several pairs of these jeans already in my wardrobe in the same size, but different colors, so I figured the new ones were a shoe in. I like brown, I have a fair amount of it, and I'm happy it's being shown this season. I was tempted to just put them away, but I tried them on. I hated how I looked. High distress. My initial thought was that my reaction was due to my unhappiness with where my body is at the moment. But I have those other W&Ws, which I tried on just the other day, and they were fine. I finally realized the new ones were the same color as a pair of jeans I had years ago when I was very heavy and not at all happy with my style. Ah ha! They're not the "nice" brown I mostly have in my closet, the one I find so easy to style. It's a muddier, cooler, more gray/black brown that I'd have to work hard to find things to wear with it. As Angie says, "Next."

I'm all about pulling the great things out of the recesses of my wardrobe, but I'm getting rid of and not adding anything that has bad or sensitive associations. You said you don't remember what associations your old outfits had. If those colors and combinations still work for you and make you feel good *now*, great! I would agree with the others then: that's your personal style coming out. If those things feel tired, don't thrill you or make you feel good, I'd probably try to mix it up with some new combinations (brown goes with a surprising number of colors), or pass on the trend altogether. Don't let yourself feel like you're going backwards. You said you're at a very different stage in your life; revel in it.

kkards

Veteran

Celia, yes i believe that we can evolve, update and modernize, but essentially we are who we are. there is nothing wrong with that, its what makes us, us. but i'm sure if you had a picture of the brown pants/rose blouse from age 28 and the brown pants/rose top from today, there would be a much different as there would be the same.

Helena

Veteran

What E said! Today I am wearing a black vneck, a scarf and jeans. The silhouettes are up to date but the formula for me is circa 1989

I've always remembered this poem said by Chrissy from three's company about being yourself - silly yet wise!!:

You can run from love, you can run from war, you can run from the cop on the beat.
You can run from danger, you can run from a stranger,
But you can't run away from your feet

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I had a brown cords and pink sweater outfit I loved wearing just 5 years ago. Funny you should mention those colors together. Neither are my core colors per se, but they just seemed like such a logical pairing.

bella

(website)

Veteran

hmm, I think as long as the items are current, styled in a trendy way, the color combo is fresh and you feel good wearing it, I say absolutely go for it. There's nothing wrong with that.

rabbit

Veteran

Thinking through your emotions associated with dressing and clothing choice, and being perceptive is awesome and illuminating in my opinion, and as others have noted, sometimes seems to have more with evoked memory than current reality.

For me I think it's the details that make the difference and show growth between what I've worn in the past and what I wear now. Personal style and taste to my mind is partly innate, partly evolved. So being drawn to the same colors you wore in the past, or for me, liking the same silhouettes I wore in the early 90's makes sense, I am still the same person. I'm still going to love the same foods as I did when I was 14.

But learning how to put together items, and what fits and variations to chose makes a ton of difference. For example a plaid shirt and jeans and sneakers can look high-fashion or look frumpy, it's all in the details, and YLF teaches so much about 'the details'. I've been very grateful that this is something that doesn't have to be innate, but can be learned. It's engineering and science to balance out the 'art' of personal style.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh yes. I find it extremely hard to remain conscious while shopping. I suffer greatly from attention blindness. I was just tidying my closet last night, when I realised I'd bought two pairs of forest green skinnies. And then there was the moment a few months ago where I realised I'm always buying red and blue plaid shirts; it's always got to be red and blue - I had four or five, was it?

I personally find this a problem not the makings of a signature style. It causes me to buy things I don't want.

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

Wow, do I EVER relate to this! It's like I was saying in my WIW post today - I seem to have come full circle back to my original style but "tweaked" to be current. Yes, it's still a dress and topper but with today's cuts and proportions.

I think in the end, our real style signatures don't really change even if we experiment with all other sorts of colors, shapes and ensembles. And I think we need all of that kind of experimentation in order to really work out who we are stylistically.

unfrumped

Veteran

I think you are right in a lot of ways. But I've become convinced that it isn't the exact same piece of clothing that will work 10 or 20 years later ( with some exceptions) .

I've always liked sort of dressy jewel-necked "T" tops with skirt and pants--say in rayon or silk or linen knits. Now I can say I've cycled a variety of different brands and styles, but it would not have helped me to save the Jones NY tops from 15 years ago, and now I'm cycling out Tahari and BR tops even while buying some new tops that for all the world seem like the same, but aren't.

It's a combination of me-shape and length, cut, neckline, fit--all slightly different, so some look "right" right now and some do not. So, I'm a T-top person but I've had lots of different ones over the years.

I used to wear lots of pleated pants and now have only 2 pairs, which are both within the past year. I love pleats ("just flattering enough") but can tell that only certain ones will look in style, and even then, more so some years than others. So I'm a pleated trouser person, but prefer to wear when they have cycled somewhat back "in" , and even then have to be just the right style for my shape.

Colors are similar--sometimes it is precisely the same color and sometimes there's a twist or you might wear it in a different item--a bag instead of a top--to look fresh.

And on and on!. Of course some of this is new to me in the past few years, to have noticed the "patterns" and try to use to my advantage, to wear things I like but still feel in style.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Firecracker, really good point! I stand here, BUSTED!! LOL. Because it's true, my outfits for that party show a real evolution of style.

I think there's a reason, though. This was "party" dressing. And for a party (especially one with a dress code) I was always a little bit in costume. What I wore was never what I would wear on a regular day. That's true even with this year's outfit -- but this year's outfit is more true to what I would wear on a regular day, and thus more true to "me."

Also, when I joined YLF I went through a period of experimentation, trying clothes with different fabrics, styles, more detailing, etc. I was thrifting a lot, picking things up to experiment.

Now I've come back to the simpler, less embellished, classic shapes I always loved in fluid fabrics (some) and/ or with structured tailoring.

Aida

Veteran

An interesting question and discussion Celia. In terms of buying the same items over and over, yes I do feel this way sometimes. Especially regarding tops, but more due to not being sure which cuts work so I just default to the ones I already know. I have been working to make myself branch out this season which has been great.

In terms of color, that is a bit trickier. Brown, in particular, is a color that I used to wear a lot of. It looks good on me. But I am generally NOT happy when I wear it. So regardless of when it's "on trend" I have to stay disciplined about exactly which browns earn a spot in my wardrobe (and it's never much). For me it's not an issue of "oh this is a color I used to wear therefore I should be cautious" as much as that brown in particular, is just not a dramatic color on me and I like drama. Drama is important to me. Therefore I stick to things that help with that style directive.

FWIW Celia, I know that your eye is well-tuned. If you were to pick up an item that was similar to something you used to wear, I have full confidence that you'd be able to wear it in a fully modern way this time around

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

This is a very interesting discussion. It seems that many YLF'ers go through an evolution when they start their style journey. The try many different cuts, colors, combinations of styles and then hone in on what it was about their original choices that they loved and refine the other elements. It does appear to be rather circular in approach but sometimes you need to drive a little further to get to your destination.

E

Veteran

Celia, your response makes a lot more sense. If certain combinations remind you of hard times in your life, revisiting them might be painful. Especially if you don’t want to regress to those times! I think it’s up to you, whether it’s worth it to wear those combinations in new outfits & form better associations now. Either way, I think having spent so long at YLF, you’re safe from reverting to dowdiness!

I agree with Rabbit that looking stylish is a learned skill, and YLF is a great teacher.

(And it's interesting how many people have stronger associations with brown than other neutrals! I wonder if in 10 years most people will feel similarly about grey?)

E

Veteran

Oh, and instead of thinking of it as circular, you could see it as a spiral. Yes, you're circling around to a place close to where you were before, but it's not identical, and you've followed a different path to get back there!