YLF is helping me learn a lot!

Last Saturday I had one of those moments where I saw an outfit on a fashion blog I follow and felt inspired to copy it. This darling chick was posing in an oversize drapey tee + cutoff denims shorts, sandals + panama hat.

Since it was the weekend, and the sun had popped out, I thought, "Oh perfect! I can do that!" I pulled out my drapey racer tank, my bermuda denim cutoffs, and sandals. And I felt... ridiculous. The tank was so oversized and drapey that I ended up popping a neon sports bra underneath because my regular bra was showing a lot. It worked but I still felt naked. I finally popped on a men's white v-neck tee. It was slouchy, but felt more chic and had some coverage which instantly made me feel better. Until I changed my mind and put the tank back on, and then sat there for 15 minutes debating my choice.

Ended up taking a day trip to a ritzy resort mountain town. I got there and immediately felt really uncomfortable with what I was wearing. First off, it was overcast and maybe 60 degrees. I was freezing, and had to wear his hoodie. (Which was ginormous on me. I was grateful though.) After walking around a few minutes, I realized my clothing mistake. The cutoffs were slouchy, the tank was huge, the hoodie was even huger. And it seemed I was surrounded by everyone in cute outfits. If I had been at the beach with a bikini under it all, I think I would have felt fine. But in a swank Colorado resort town, I didn't feel like myself. I felt sloppy and uncomfortable -- and I wanted to hide. Finally, I just said, "Screw it, it's too late. Get over yourself and enjoy the day!!" Which I did.

Lesson learned: YFL'ers have taught me it's awesome to be fashionable and experimental. But do so within the limits of my gut and comfort level. My gut feeling that morning was: sized-up skinnie jeans, sandals, and a slouchy tee or boho blouse. I would have been warmer and felt really casual-chic and comfy. (Granted, neither of us knew the weather was going to be overcast and chilly.) Also, being hourglass and curvy, doing lots of volume or drape on both top and bottom feels sloppy to me.

I also didn't take photos in the mirror. Another mistake-ola! It would have either confirmed my un-love of the tank, or made me realize it wasn't so horrendous on me.

I probably sound insane and even vain. It is just clothes, after all. But still...I can't believe how awkward I felt!

9 years ago

LadyGeek

Active Member

I think you're really brave, Keturah, to take a risk. OK, it didn't pay off this time but you took a chance and learned from it. Good for you! Respect.

Anonymous

Oh dear, I feel your pain! I had a very similar experience this past Spring. Carefully shot pictures (on Pinterest and blogs) do not always tell the whole story of an outfit. These mistakes are bound to happen, but I'm so glad you decided to let it go and enjoy yourself. At least you took a fashion risk--I think that's a good thing. And you probably looked adorable to most of the people there anyway!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I'll bet you looked a heck of a lot better than you think. But I also know that feeling of not being dressed for the occasion or the weather (or both) and it sucks! Especially the weather issue. There is no way you can feel like yourself if you are shivering or sweating all over everything.

Marley

Oh I feel your pain - I've done the same thing! I used to try to copy a blogger's outfit - and most of the time I'd end up just feeling like someone else, rather than myself. Our guts are probably our best indicators as to if something works for our lifestyle, personality, etc. It's always good to step outside of our comfort zone and try new things, but we've got to balance that with what we know works for us and our environment.

agree with those above who said that you probably looked better than you think that you did!

Aida

Experimentation is great for pushing ourselves, no doubt. Sometimes it's easier to experiment when the audience is limited or even if it's just around the house, and sometimes it's great to take a new idea out "on the road" to see how we feel outside. I've done as you have, and I'm sure you looked better than you think; it really can suck the joy from an outing if you're uncomfortable and fiddling with clothes the entire time. And weather can be especially tricky! In fact, the main focus of my summer wardrobe the past few years was to get it to a place where I could handle whatever active thing we were doing along with whatever crazy weather would be thrown my way.

A quick note about hourglass and volume: It can be done! You just have to have enough structure in the outfit. If you're interested in voluminous looks but having trouble finding a way to feel comfortable in them, we'd be happy to help you sort it out if you posted photos

Amy

I completely related to your post. I recently tried a summer outfit based on a blog post (unfancy I think). It was a cream top with a matching vest over. I thought, "Ok, she looks adorable, great look. I know I have similar pieces in my closet and have never thought of putting those together. I'll try it. ". So I did. Anyways, I had to take my kids to run errands after and I saw my reflection in one of the windows of a bank we were going to. Ugh. I'm an hourglass and the outfit was horrible on me. I had no waist, looked pregnant and my boobs looked huge. You know that tent look? That's what I looked like.

I realized that even though it looked awesome on the blogger (whose body shape is different than mine), it looked nothing like that on me. Oh well. I learned and won't wear those pieces together again.

It's all about trying things out, right? Some become favorites and some things get rejected. But without trying new things we would never get the really great combinations. It's all good overall even if we have to go through a few duds to get there.

creamandcoffee

I've been there, that feeling of wearing the wrong thing or thinking you looked great at home but not so much in public is really uncomfortable. Paying attention to your gut is such a great point. It doesn't matter how good you look in something if you don't feel confident wearing it!

jackiec

Ooh I've totally been there! At least you can pinpoint the mistakes and move on. It totally doesn't erase that terrible feeling of being underdressed! I remember sitting in a fancy restaurant in old jeans and a hoodie. Totally unexpected but trust me I have NEVER gone out in that outfit again. Better dressed to your gut (and nicer) than totally slumming it and being caught-out.

shiny

Oh my! You have perfectly captured and articulated my personal thought processes from time to time. I have less of these days since finding YLF, which I cannot credit enough, but I still have them. I don't think it is insanity or vanity. Though I can see how much of my fashion interest is driven by wanting to fit in, while also standing apart-- and hence there is often a conflict.

My DH always gallantly offers me his sweater or sweatshirt when I'm chilly and wore the wrong thing, but yeah, it's basically dress-length on me and I wind up looking like a child wearing daddy's shirt.

Thank you so so much for writing your post. I relate so much. It's nice to meet a kindred!

Sveta

I think we all have been there. However each mistake is a lesson learned and it is priceless. The main thing you overcame your frustration and enjoyed your day - well done!
And I have to echo Aida - curves and volume are not enemies but we curvy gals have to be more thoughtful and careful with volume on volume to get enough structure in to feel "flattering enough" - Aida is a great teacher in this!

Gigi

Keturah, we learn just as much from our failures as from our successes, IMO.

I am wondering, though, along the lines of Aida: Is this an outfit that can perhaps be tailored to fit your own body shape? Maybe the cutoffs need to be more form fitted. Or maybe the other garments, although needing to be oversized, were just a tad *too* oversized. If this is a look that you would really like to try, I would agree with Aida that posting some pics here would help us troubleshoot for you.

Keturah

Okay, I absolutely did not mean to post and then not respond!! Was out of town some of the week and just getting caught up again.

Thank you for all the boosts, ladies!! Seriously, it really helped to know that I took a risk, that I can learn from it, and that's it not all bad.

'Shiny, it's nice to meet a kindred spirit too I definitely feel like a little girl when I wear oversized sweatshirts. I'm 5'11 but even then I can get engulfed in fabric if the shirt is large enough. xo

Aida, ahhh! Yes! Photos! I got caught up in the moment and forgot about those!! Posting more photos is one of my goals. The cutoffs started out more form-fitting. But they are actually sized-up one size, and they definitely stretch out and get baggy as I wear them. That coupled with an A-line style racer tank probably did me in. I think I do need to keep an eye on balance volume with structure. I'm still sorting that out how to do that with my more bohemian leanings...

Gigi, photos next time for certain! I think it probably was too oversized. I probably would have been better with the white tee -- it was a slightly stiffer material, and had more shape and structure though it was oversized.

rachylou

I think that's *the* thing I've learned on YLF. At least for me, the key to wardrobe happiness has been analysing my sartorial needs (and thus wants), and not just doing cute looks.

Racheylou, well said, my friend! I realized if I just do cute looks I end up buying a lot of clothes, with a lot of one-look outfits I can't interchange with other items in my closet.

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