Do you volunteer style advice to family and friends? - YouLookFab Forum

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Do you volunteer style advice to family and friends?

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I find this a very slippery slope.

I absolutely offer unsolicited advice to my Dad, who quite appreciates it actually. Sometimes I offer it to Greg too - who offers unsolicited style advice right back I might add :0).

But for the rest, I don't say anything at all unless I am directly asked a question by a family member or friend. Then I'll answer truthfully and tactfully as best I can.

What do you do?

General

38 replies

Latest reply was from Dusty

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Unless I'm asked I never offer advice BUT I do compliment frequently when I think a relative or friend is doing something right.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I'm the same way- I do more than offer advice t6o my husband/children. After all, I have to be seen with them. Anyone else, I hold my tongue unless asked or it's a topic of conversation at hand.

Cookie

I do not give advice unless I am directly asked for it. But my friends do appreciate my instincts and do come to me quite often. In January two of my neighbors were on vacation in Palm Springs and they texted me a picture of a $1500 Gucci blouse for my opinion. A lot of my friend's daughters take me shopping for their Prom dresses and I am always good at helping to find the perfect wedding gown. I guess I give advice more often than I realized.

Maya

Veteran

I don't. My family members are either hopelessly stubborn (mom) or think fashion is beneath them (dad). If my mom asks, I am always honest. She knows very well that I loathe her ankle length pants and that I can offer no helpful input on the rest of her outfit until she gets her pants sorted. Needless to say she does not ask me anymore.

Of course they both feel it is their duty to offer me their unsolicited advice. When my dad does, I simply remind him that he doesn't care about such things. When mom does I just tell her we have different opinions and leave it at that.

My mom has lately been on my case about how bad my hair looks, how I'm going bald (not true), how dirty my face and skin look. As if I am not aware and have total control over this. It drives me crazy. Then my dad will comment wistfully, while watching old home movies, how long and beautiful my hair was when I was 7. I'd like to remind him that at least I still *have* hair but I keep my mouth shut.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

I'm generally not in a position to do this at all, but I will offer advice to Corey on colour pairings, oddly enough, and I singlehandedly got him to wear jeans again. In The only other exception was quite striking...I took one of my friends shopping, since she was severely budget and style challenged and needed help on a few different levels at the time. She tended to deliberately wear things that were sizes too big in an effort to cover up, and she always wore black. I felt well-equipped to help her out there and improve her style quotient, and that was even before YLF. I actually really enjoyed it.
Oh, there's another friend who asks me for accessorizing tips. All of this I find hilarious, since they're all able to make visual evaluations and I am not.

April

Veteran

I give opinions to my sister but not against her will (?), and outside of immediate family, I only make a comment if it's a compliment.

The only other person who asks is my mother, and here is how a typical conversation goes:

Mom: I really want your opinion on this.

Me: Okay, Mom -- let's talk about the color. In my opinion it doesn't work so well when every single item in your wardrobe (living room, dining room, kitchen, bath) is some shade of blue...

Mom: [tone of finality] Well, I like blue.

End of conversation.

Mae

Never unsolicited....well, except for to my mom. Like RoseandJoan, I focus on the complimenting where it's due. And, of course, I use April as my style mirror and she always comes through- solicited or not. One of our brothers has an eye for style and actually enjoys shopping. (3 out of 4; not bad!)

Our mother, on the other hand, is in constant need of help but doesn't realize it. April and I should plan a stealth guerilla mission into her closet to remove the beige and heathered oatmeal. But then, she'd have nothing left.

April

Veteran

She'd have BLUE.

Mae is right. though, she also has Cadaver Beige.

Inge

(website)

Mae and April, you are cracking me up!-)) So fab that you are both posting more regularly!!

I usually don't offer unsolicited advice outside of the family;-) Sometimes I suggest things I know would look fab on my sis when we go shopping together, or suggest outfit combinations to my Mum and Aunt (they are in their seventies now, and will never be convinced that colours don't always have to match;-)

E.g. My Aunt bought taupe trousers a while back and just hates them "because nothing goes with them", whereas I think almost all tops in her wardrobe look wonderful with the pants...

shana

Veteran

I give my mom lots of unsolicited advice - fashion & otherwise. I figure it makes up for all the unsolicited advice she gives me:) She sometimes takes it and sometimes ignores it. Unlike her, I don't get insulted when she doesn't follow my suggestions!

I would not give any unsolicited fashion advice to anyone outside my immediate family (parents, brother, husband, children). Within my immediate family, we are pretty open & direct with one another and there wouldn't be any hurt feelings to be worried about. Of course, other than my mom, we're talking about all men (and little men)!

Maya

Veteran

April and Mae, I'd love to join you if there is a bonfire involved. Seeing those colors aflame, lighting up the night sky, would be a beautiful sight.

NK

(website)

My husband's been asking for advice, so I've been giving it, and his co-workers are noticing.

A few months ago, my sister, who doesn't have a computer, called me up to ask me to order some shoes for her. I talked her out of them because they were too matronly for her. I wish I lived closer to her because I'd love to take her shopping. She's gained weight and is doing the same thing I did when I gained weight, essentially punishing herself by not buying anything new or fun or flattering. (YLF has totally helped me realize that rather than beat yourself up about the body you don't have, it's much better to find ways to dress the body you DO have!)

Otherwise, I pretty much keep my mouth shut. I've had a few friends joke that they'd love me to help them go through their closets and put things together or go shopping with them, but until THEY call and set it up, I'm not going to push it.

Mae

Maya, there will definitely be a bonfire. Does cadaver beige burn well?

April, don't forget the shade of blue. You know, the palest of pale blue that washes out rather than invigorates one's appearance.

Sorry for derailing the thread. Back to the topic at hand...

Louise

Veteran

The only unsolicited advice I offer is to my mum not that she takes it (still can't get her into leggings and she looks great in them) x

taylor

Veteran

Because i work for AT part time I will offer up suggestions on how to wear/pair certain items together etc, but that is usually after I have helped them or they notice something I have on. I don't even pretend to have the knowledge or expertise that Angie or a fashion stylist has , so I walk a fine line and let them know. "This is what I do" or the ladies here and I find this works best:)
My daughter is a different story..we are totally into giving each other advice...freely and unsolicited:)

April

Veteran

Actually, my son (13) gives me advice and he's not a bad critic. Sometimes he says things that I can't completely translate, but I get the basic idea. Example: "You should return that dress, Mom -- it's too Legend of Zelda."

P.S. How great would it be to go to your local AT and have Taylor there to give advice?

taylor

Veteran

April, You are too sweet:)
How fun would it be to have you shop my store!!!

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

I offer style advice to my husband - only on the grounds that he has less of a clue than (even) I do and actually really appreciates the help!

Queen Mum

Veteran

the only recipient of my unsolicited advice would be my husband... and he doesn't always receive it with unabashed enthusiasm I might add. Today I was trying to "scrunch" his sleeves to look a tad messy and he promptly shooed me away.

The only unsolicited stuff I would offer to a friend would be more like "oh, what a cute jacket... that would look really cute with your ______ too" And that would be sincere, not a backhanded way of tellling them it doesn't work with what they are wearing at the moment. Does that make sense?

M. Jantz

Does giving advice to my 10YO DD count? I'll tell her how I think something looks if we're going somewhere important & she solicits my advice on a regular basis & I hers. She honestly has a good eye & usually confirms what I'm thinking about how something looks.

Other than that, not really. I know how sensitive I can be about comments about my attire (usually along the lines of 'Wow, you're so dressed up' or positive comments) I try not to put anyone else on the spot.

Goldie

I've tried recently with my dad and my boyfriend, but to no avail. My dad has lost about 25 pounds since he last bought a pair of pants, but there's no way he'd ever go shopping!

I offered to take my mom shopping recently, and she took me up on it -- she needed some business-formal clothes, and had NOTHING appropriate at all. She has a body type that's more or less like mine, so I was able to find her some really great stuff by thinking about styles that would look good on me! Of course, she won't wear anything besides t-shirts and jeans except about twice a year so it's all sitting in her closet gathering dust, but at least she now has it for when she needs it!

sinead

The only people I would dare offer a comment to would be my kids- and I have to be very, very careful since they're 17 and 19. My daughter and I shop together sometimes, and Angie, she reminds me of you with her decisiveness and ability to quickly figure out why something doesn't work. And I've totally used your name when giving advice to her, as in,"Angie says ...." I promise it's only the stuff you really say- I like being able to back it up by showing her the blog post.

Mac

Veteran

Never give unsolicited advice and give very careful, encouraging advice for those who ask.

Anonymous

My husband asks my opinion and he sometimes gets voluntary advice especially if it's time to get rid of something. Other than that I don't volunteer fashion advice, although it can be hard not to.
So many times I'm asked for fashion advice from complete strangers when shopping. They probably want an unbiased opinion.

Beth

Veteran

Never, except for my DH, who tends to ignore me and continue wearing the same look he's worn all his life. He's a trad to the bone so there's no real likelihood of changing his mind on most things.:D

April and Mae, I'm also a member of the 'My Mom Wears Beige' club. My sister and I have teased her about it for years. She loves her beige and her animal prints. She's going to looove my new dress.

Debbie

Veteran

Only to my kids and husband. Recently one of my nieces asked me to take her 14 year old daughter shopping because she wouldn't listen. We actually did well and has a good time.
I have a friend who never wears anything but black and sweats. I just keep my opinion to myself.

marianna

Veteran

I absolutely give unsolicited style advice to my fiance. I might push too hard, actually. My partner has to be well dressed... it's non negotiable for me. He's learned to let me style him 100% and it works out well for both of us. I get to pick out his clothes and he looks good. It's a win win situation!

My mom and I also give each other unsolicited style advice. I love it and wouldn't have it any other way!

To others whom I am not so close with -- I bite my tongue.

Megan

I give advice (if I feel confident enough!) when out shopping with friends, Mum or my sisters- I like it when they give it also! I bought a blazer when out with my sister and she tried to tell me it was too big- I didn't listen and I should've. Lesson learned.

Otherwise, I only give compliments

AJ

Veteran

Only to my hubby and kids. They also have no qualms letting me know what they think about my outfits...except my hubby. He knows better than to meddle with my style. : )

I have three friends who ask me once a quarter to shop their closet for new outfits. They'll usually offer to babysit or make me something in exchange for my help. Each of the three gals have different styles (bohemian, classic and subtle, and colorful sporty) so it's been fun.

In all other situations, I just offer sincere compliments unless specifically asked.

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