I think it's difficult to do casual- because it *is* casual. For moms of little ones, there is so much more to consider than just the clothes. My kids are both in double digits now, but weather is a big issue that I have to factor in. I live in the desert, so spring/summer clothes have to be cool and breathable, machine washable, modest enough to cover without layering, and provide some protection from sudden gusts of wind.
It does seem impossible some days!

Exactly, chewy, I need to add the cool, breathable, no layering, and wind-proof to the requirements! I live in the desert too (it is in the 90's today).

Where are you, Hannah?
I'm in Southern California- Mojave Desert

Chewy, I live in Israel. I think the climate is about the same as yours.

We are in the 90's now, too, so probably!

Sigh ... I am totally have the same issue with casual dressing, especially with two little ones. Your requirements are totally spot on for me, Hannah. The only thing I could think of to meet those requirements are gym clothes (although, hard to pull off #6 with gym clothes). I mean, requirements 1-4 basically fit what you would need in the gym, and you so appropriately use the jungle gym as an example!

Thinking aloud here:
- Sweat pants and tee. Very comfy but leave that at the gym or home.
- Matching tracksuit tops and bottoms. Ugh, not for me.
- Yoga pants and hoodie or wrap top. Better.
- Leggings and tunic top, layered with cardi or jean jacket, with flats or sandals. This is what I do the most, but I am playing with proportions in this look.
- Dark-wash bootleg jeans and fitted top, with flats or sandals. If the jeans are comfortable for kid-related movement, this would work.

BTW, love your pattern mixing, Hannah! What a fun outfit for a cool excursion (and what a considerate husband you have) :)

Hannah, I think age and lifestyle are huge factors when it comes to casual wear. I say this because I am always pretty casual, but I'm also 25 and I don't have kids or a job that requires a smarter look. It's easy for me. Also, shoes make a huge difference! Today I'm wearing my black target ruffle top, red moto jacket, dark bootcuts, and cons. If I just swapped out the cons for dressy flats, I think the outfit could be elevated to smart casual. But, casual footwear like my cons is just more comfortable. I do not think casual style is an impossible task. I think it might be hard to wrap your head around it since being polished and sophisticated is the usual flop proof default option. I'll post more on this later with some specific examples when I'm home and not iPhone typing :)

When I worked in an office, dressing was easy. There were lots of guidelines out there to follow and I had plenty of stylish role-models. Now that I'm a SAHM, I am foundering. This is the main reason I found YLF! It is probably the most challenging chapter of my fashion life since it is so easy to slip into the frumpy, unflattering dimension. There is definitely practical side of casual that needs to be addressed.

For me, I have always resisted spending any real money on casual clothes since I have always treated that part of my life as less important. But lately, I have been thinking about my casual wardrobe with the same determination I have for other parts of my life. I'm focusing on well-fitting jeans, nicer quality t-shirts, cute shoes (converse etc) and more upscale toppers ("designer" hoodies, cardi sweaters, nice fitting jean jacket etc). So while I am wearing technically CASUAL clothing, I am applying the same elements of style that I do with my smart-casual and business-casual portions of my life. For example:

My jeans are PPL. My t-shirts are fitted and flattering. I had my jean jacket altered so it was sleeker fitting. I am choosing better quality items...even in my hoodie and t-shirt categories. Bascially, I am taking the same care with my casual items that I do with my more dressy items. Since I spend 75% of in casual mode its a good investment for me.

I have been subscribing to the "uniform" method of dressing which makes it easier to get dressed in a rush in the morning. And pre-thinking it all out, ensures that I don't have to fuss about what to wear every day. My spring uniform is walking shorts, t-shirt or tank top, and a cardi or jean jacket. Shoes will be either converse or 8-hour sandals. I now have a new skirt I can throw into the mix. And jeans will substitute on cooler days. Accessories are a challenge because of the kid-factor but they can be taken off if you need to scale the monkey bars.

I've had several comments that I always look put-together. I take that as a compliment because if you knew the state of my life at the moment, you'd know that is a serious accomplishment!

Hannah, once again, another thread that I'm very glad you started. I've been mulling over this myself.

I actually don't have strict requirements for my casual wear - I'm not a mom, and although I'm very spill-prone by nature, I don't have a messy or dirty job (at least not at the moment.) <i>Smart casual</i> wear tends to be easier for me because for the most part, I can often take a business casual outfit with pants and substitute jeans, and voila, I'm there.

The main problem I have with true casual wear is that I am so reliant on structured, non-voluminous pieces to create a body silhouette that doesn't make me cringe. I think by nature, structured pieces are viewed as being more formal and "dressy" and voluminous pieces up the casual factor. I don't do volume well and have a hard time finding pieces that are body-flattering but are still "casual." For example, I have all but given up on "breezy summer dresses" because they are either the wrong silhouette, or the require me to wear a strapless bra, which defeats the comfort factor.

An added issue is that due to the location I live in as well as the lifestyle & style preferences of most of my family and friends, what I consider a casual or smart casual outfit is often viewed as "very dressed up" by many of the people I spend time with. I am intentionally trying to tone down my "dressy factor" by substituting sandals instead of ballet flats, removing jewelry, and investing in pieces that are seen as more "casual" (such as investing in two moto jackets and basic light brown casual boots.) I want to feel stylish and not like I'm dressing for someone else, but I also don't want to feel or be seen as dressing inappropriately for the occasion or the crowd of people that I'm with.

For example, Hannah's picture - by the way, you look beautiful and so happy! - is what I feel is a great comfortable and "casual" outfit, but if I wore a faux-pearl necklace while boating (even in the same casual outfit Hannah is wearing), I would definitely incite some "you're so dressed up!" comments.

OK, here is my list of indispensable casual items:

-Jeans jeans and more jeans. I like to have a variety of leg openings and washes.
-Sturdy, substantial flats. I don't mean the prissy dainty kind that are all style and no substance, but the kind that are almost like sneakers. These are not comfortable for me, but I know I'm an exception. This is the pair I have, which annihilated my little toe, but I'm positive they would be heavenly on a normal foot:

http://www.endless.com/Natural.....ords=cordo

-Leggings and tunic. Feels like wearing a track suit or sweats, but MUCH more stylish, and in my opinion, more comfortable (it's much cooler in the summer than sweats!)
-Cons: the perfect go-to fashion sneaker
-Knit tops. These are easy to launder, fit over the bust, and drape nicely. I have no preference regarding material, as even manmade fabrics have their strong points (rayon drapes beautifully, for example). Unfortunately they don't last terribly long, but on the flip side, I never spend more than $30 on them. You can get a knit top from Forever 21 or H&M and it will last just as long as a $68 knit top from Banana Republic. Sweet Pea is wonderful because the tops are cool, stretchy, easily laundered, and last a lot longer than most knit tops, but they are rather pricey. Not too bad on sale though.
-Short/choker length necklaces. Long necklaces are wonky over my chest and I don't like the tangling and dangling. I tend to forget I'm even wearing shorter necklaces. This is not the only option though. Bracelets and short or stud earrings work too.
-Hair accessories. I wear a headband almost every day since cutting my hair. If my bangs start to get too long, it's a great way to keep them from falling in my face until my next hair cut. J Crew has the best headbands in my estimation. They are NOT little girlish but can actually look quite sleek and pretty.
-Ultra casual dresses, especially in summer. I know what you mean about modesty, but I'm sure there are days when you're not rolling in the grass and on the jungle gym, so one or two should be fine :) You can always wear them over leggings too.
-Casual jacket, like a bomber or anorak
-I don't currently have a pair of clams, but I am definitely on the prowl. I think these are a must now.
-Like clams, I do not have a small sling bag yet, but I am totally into the idea.

I do think you (this is a general "you") need to adjust your thinking in order to fully embrace casual wear. So much fashion advice is geared towards "sophistication" because, as I mentioned, it's a flop proof, universally flattering option. You may feel sloppy at first, especially if you're used to a more polished look, but it's all a matter of adjusting.

I'm in the opposite position, where I just feel incredibly silly in smart casual. I know it looks good on me and pretty much everyone else, but I just feel so overdressed because nothing in my life really calls for it. I often feel like I'm a little girl playing in my mother's closet. I could, in theory, go smart casual when I'm out to dinner or the movies, but I am just not comfortable with it--figuratively and literally. I don't have a single pair of comfortable smart casual shoes. That would also make me the most "dressed up" one in the group by far, which I usually am anyway ::arrogance::, but I think SC would just be over the top.

I often wonder what I'm going to do when I'm 35 years old and I need to refine my look a bit. I don't think my feet will allow for it. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I hope YLF is still around then :)

Casual is very hard for me too! Today I had a very casual brunch with three friends (at someone's house - not a restaurant.) It was in the high 80's today - very warm. We all were definitely casual - not smart casual. We all have "average" middle-age bodies.

This is what we each wore:

Me -(51) dark jeans, casual teal color top, brown hoodie, sandals, pendant necklace
S - (mid 40's) sleeveless casual day dress, Dansko Mary-Janes, no jewelry
T - (early 50's) sleeveless tank, silk cargo pants, flat sandals (she's tall with long legs - KILLER body), fab earrings
A - (mid 40's) nice patterned top, twill capri pants, flat sandals, no jewelry

It was so interesting. We all were very different in our casual styles. We all looked presentable, but not "dressed up."

I think I looked a little more sporty than I would have liked, but I never know how to do casual without looking sporty.

I was a little hot in my jeans, and I think a cardigan might have been a bit nicer than a hoodie, but I only have a black cardi at present. A white jean jacket would definitely have been too hot, so I ended up with the hoodie. (I never know if that's "allowed.") I guess I need a summer cardi in a nice color? I also think white jeans would have looked nicer - but I wonder if I would have felt too dressed up, considering what everyone else was wearing?

I DREAD the warm weather in regards to casual looks. It's my most difficult fashion challenge.

I think casual is a regional thing too. I live in a very casual town so even wearing a skirt with a tee is a step above the norm. I'm just learning to put some accessories with my outfit and I find its making a big difference between "casual" and "put together."

Also, shoes change the look so much ... today I wore keen mary janes to a very casual event but my outfit would have been upped a notch with wedge sandals. But I would have been overdressed wearing the dressier shoe.

Nice list, Maya.

I go through these exact thought processes with many, MANY clients. I'm going to come from another angle! Take it for what it's worth. If you think it's codswallup - that's okay :0).

Just because other people are poorly dressed does not mean that you have to be. Set the example. Don’t conform. Be the role model. Think laterally. Change bad dressing habits. By all means stick to the appropriate dress code and "fit in" but do it with style. You can absolutely be casually dressed WITH style. I do not know HOW to stress this point more strongly. Having style does not mean wearing dressy clothes, or even dressing smart casually. My dear Cricket, perhaps you can link to the type of keens you were wearing. I shall not pass judgment until I see the actual shoe!

I wish you could all spend three days with me. I'd get you sorted asap.

Angie ... here they are ... http://www.zappos.com/product/7292350/color/41114 Tell me the truth. I do want to know! I know they are gear-ish, but are the closest thing I have to a fashion sneaker. And keeping my toes covered in crowds and around my kids (and dirt) is a big deal to me. (BTW, do cons look okay with bermudas? Or is that too young looking?)

I appreciated everything you wrote about fitting in but with style. Maybe that's what I mean by "regional." In my sporty casual town, people wear "fashion gear." In a rural farming community, it could be more western-wear oriented. Neither of those looks is *my* look but I still would want to fit in. I guess I've never been one to want to stand out, but I do want to stand tall and know that I am dressing with a good fit, good colors and a style of my own that works anywhere.

Hannah,

I hear you on the challenges of dressing casually. I think that it is one of the hardest looks to nail, in part due to the fact that there are differing opinions of what constitutes casual wear. One person's Juicy suit and flip flops, is another person's dark denim skirt, Sweet Pea top, and wedge sandals. I do think that it can be done successfully - even by us mommies.

I live in AZ, and it was 105F today. Whew! Many people here dress sub-casually, and I try not to look at that as my standard. I read books, magazines, and forums like this one to stay connected with people who care about dressing properly. I'm constantly learning, training my eye, and fine-tuning my own personal style.

It is tough, especially if you're doing it on your own, don't have a babysitter, and don't have the benefit of Angie personally taking you shopping and dressing you for your regular weekly activities. At least we can come here and "drink the Kool-Aid." :-)

I am a mom of 2 kids under 3yrs., one of whom is still nursing. Jeans, basic t-shirts, and sandals or sneakers were my previous uniform. I am trying to put together a stylish, colorful, casual wardrobe that will take me from play dates to date nights. It's overwhelming, especially when you're starting over. I am very picky about my purchases, and look for items that can be washed, dressed up or down, mixed and matched, that fit and flatter me, that don't cost a fortune, and that really show my personal style. As cumbersome as it is, I am determined to nail this. Once I get into a groove, I think that it will be easier to shop and put outfits together going forward.

Don't give up, and don't give in!

Cciele - exactly, the clothes that fit most of the requirements are gym clothes, but I fear Angie will have an apoplexy if we start walking around in gym clothes :)
Also, jeans are fine for cooler months, but not so much when it is over 90 degrees outside :( Basically, I guess I am looking for a hot weather substitute for a pair of jeans and a nice tee.

Marlene - yes, you are absolutely right - I need to get my head around the fact that I need to invest in casual clothes. It makes a huge difference. For example, I have a cute hoodie from Martin&Osa (which I bought to wear during flights), and it looks so much better than just cheap generic hoodies. On the other hand, when I am wearing something nice (even if it is casual), I am constantly nervous about popsicle and grass stains :( And this kind of defeats the whole purpose of dressing to play with the kids, right?

Kari - thanks for the compliment! The pearls are actually real (cultivated)! I agree with you that they are not really appropriate for a sailing lesson, but (1) it was a surprise, so I had no idea what we are going to do, and (2) we went to a nice restaurant for lunch afterward, so I had to be dressed reasonably well - at least the part that is above the table :)

Maya - it is too hot for jeans here from April to November :( And actually, yes, I am climbing the jungle gym or rolling in the grass every single day with the kids, so dresses are out of the question :( You are so right about the mindset - I am so used to associate dressing up with a way I dress to work (btw, I dress SC, and I am always overdressed - well, you saw Angie's posts, we are a very very casual country; I just don't give a damn anymore, you know?). Can you believe I still cannot get my head around Converse sneakers? Anyway, it is much too hot for them now ... OK, I must get a Sweet Pea top - this sounds like a great solution. Aren't they too dressy for the kind of the outfit I am after?

Tara - your outfit sounds great! And nothing black! Yes, casual is hardest for me in hot weather too, especially because I cannot wear jeans when it is hot, and then I am perplexed about the appropriate bottoms.

Angie - I wish I could spend three days with you! Alas, I cannot :(

Lwc - oh, it was hardest when one of the kids was nursing in addition to other requirements! Fortunately, I am done with this, but still - being out with three kids, with the youngest under 3, is still a fashion challenge.

Judging from all the responses, it seems that a flop-proof outfit is tunic and leggings. Unfortunately, I don't wear leggings (not this time, and not the last time they were around in the '80s -'90s). This is because (1) I have thick thighs, and (2) my legs are X-shaped (that is, they go in in the knees, and out again in the calves). The X-shape is not visible in a knee-length skirt, but it is painfully obvious in leggings and a mid-thigh length tunic. Do you think I can still manage to find the right proportion that will allow me to wear this look? I am also only 5'3'', so I really cannot wear a knee-length dress with leggings - I am too short for this.

HannaC I really like the look of the outfit you wore sailing - I think you pulled off casual very nicely!!!

Maya you made me laugh with the "35 years old and I need to refine my look" comment. I'll be approaching 35 in a couple of years and don't own any dressy pumps that are less than 10 years old. I've been thinking I seriously need to look at the "dressier" side of my wardrobe, but truthfully my motivation is low, because like you I am casual most of the time. Means my stress levels do go up whenever I have a dressier occasion, which is only a few times a year thank goodness!!

Such a great thread, and something I have been thinking a lot of as I rebuild my wardrobe for the summer! Like Marlene, I had not been considering casual to be that important, since for me it only gets worn 2 out of 7 days. But the reality is in the summer, I do shed my work clothes as soon as I get home, and I do have at least two week-long vacations planned -- so I do need more casual outfits than I think, and smart-casual isn't the best option for those times. But I won't go back to my old uniform of just shorts and a solid colored tee-shirt, so I've been stumped.

I've started picking up some nice city shorts, knit or structured cotton tops, white denim clamdiggers, and lots of sundresses. I'm okay with leggings, but all the tunics I've found so far are either too boho or too trampy or too expensive, so I don't know if that's a look I will utilize much. I am always going to prefer shorts over capris; shorts are summer to me, and I can't let that go. They're always bermuda length, and this year that's an especially good look for me now that my thighs are a reasonable size *g* and my calves are looking so fit.

The tops are killing me -- I'm used to picking up a dozen t-shirts in every color available, and being done with it. Picking them one by one is tough! :)

Kristen, since longer capris are not YLF approved, I guess in the area of capris we are left with clams only. Since I don't wear clams (I don't wear skinny jeans or any of their variations), I too resort to walking shorts - the type that comes almost to the knee (I guess this is what you called bermuda length?) I am wondering what I should wear in place of the t-shirts, though ... Wrap tops are out because they gape or shift when I am running around or climbing. I am trying to wear "nicer t-shirts" - you know, with a nicer neckline, or thicker material. As usual, they don't fit perfectly ... sigh ...

I just want to comment on your outfit in the picture. You look very good in this style. I smile everytime I look at the picture. This is a great example of how a string of pearls and a nicer top can take the jeans way up a notch. The pearls and bandana also make a nice contrast.
That is a beautiful picture of you sitting on the sailboat.

San, thanks so much!

Hannah, I think you'd look great in a dress with leggings, and it would be a nice casual look. Maybe try a dress that ends right above the knee cap?

I feel like I am only now getting my head around casual. Since YLF I also eliminated anything gear-like from my casual outfits, and after that things somewhat fell into place. My casual is definitely sporty, though. I like Esprit look - a lot of their stuff is too young, but I find that for me some of their jackets and shirts have the right level of casualness and trendiness to keep the outfit from being blah. The most worn things for me this year have been sweater tunics, jeans, doc martens, converse, twill washable jackets, casual button down shirts. I agree, it's harder to put together an interesting casual look and there are not that many places to look for inspiration. All around me I mostly see t-shirts and Tevas, but here I find pictures from GG and Tam very helpful in that aspect.

What's the consensus on hoodies? Are they okay for casual Sunday coffee at Starbucks?

HannahC! I’m sorry we missed your birthday. Happy belated birthday! I’m glad you had a fab day sailing and you look adorable in that picture. Nice knitted top and bandana! And the pearls are a super touch :0)

I’ll be back to answer more questions but for the mean time:

o Hanna you can absolutely wear leggings and knit dresses. You can also sport a “wide” clamdigger (not tapered) as long as it’s at a flattering length. Walk shorts will also work. Heavens, YOU might even get away with harem pants! I saw them work beautifully in Israel so let’s have an open fashion mind. You are tasked!

o Cricket – phew! When I see keens around here, I see the variety I linked to below (instant apoplexy). It’s usually worn with a bad basic T-shirt and you guessed it, ankle length leg-shortening capris. So while I think you can go for something a little less “keen looking”, sporty is not bad if the look is a little more refined and NOT gear like. Think along the lines of Merrel, Sketchers, Puma and Cole Haan.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/30.....rchresults

o Tara, hoodies are for the most part a no after a certain age. If you’re sporting the kind that teens wear than definitely not. BUT! A refined cashmere hoodie, or something with that flavour worn in an esoteric and sophisticated kind of a way TOTALLY works in your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Laura wore a chic belted hoodie over a dress with boots and tights and pulled it off. I hope that makes sense. Sorry I’m strict with certain things. Just wouldn't be doing my job if I wasn't :0(

I'm the one saying "phew," Angie! I'm glad those maryjanes can somewhat pass for a very casual event. I see the keen sandals everywhere too. I agree ... good for gear, but not stylish.

Angie, thanks for the birthday wishes! I actually like to receive belated birthday wishes because it helps to prolong the birthday feeling (yes, seriously!). Thanks for the compliments on my outfit, and I am so glad you liked the pearls!

You know, I see harem pants and sandal booties everywhere in the stores right now. I won't be wearing them myself (I guess I am too conservative for that after all), but I like the look on younger trendier lasses.

My next mission is to find flattering combinations of dresses/tunics and leggings. I was quite sure I cannot wear leggings at all, but maybe I can ...

I also did not know that clamdiggers can be wide at the hem. I guess I was caught in the image of very skinny pants ending just below the knee. I like the idea of wider clamdiggers a lot, must to look for something like that in the stores (I love Boden, but unfortunately, the type of clams they carry is exactly the skinny one).

I am also very much relieved that you approve of Cricket's keens, because I have a very similar kind myself (also flat maryjanes, but in dark red). Unfortunately, keens won't work for the kids-related activities in this heat :( (we had 104 degrees yesterday!).

My sons have outfits for the day care that are sold as "play clothes" and come as a full outfit - a tee shirt and shorts (washable, good quality, comfortable knits). I guess what I am after is some kind of "play clothes" for grown-ups? And it would also be nice if they came as full outfits (or maybe as "garanimals", with different stickers indicating what can be worn with that) :) Of course, I am not seriously considering an outfit of a tee shirt and knit shorts, but, you know, a nice knit top and clamdiggers or walking shorts.

Count me in as someone who has trouble with casual. For more formal events, no problem and back when I was working I felt like I knew what I was doing so much more than I do now. For me at least, part of the issue is that I am finding as I grow older (and saggier) that I need more structure in my clothing. But most casual clothing (especially tops) is knit which doesn't have alot of structure and shows ever lump & bump!

Oh, and I have the bad keens (mine are the Newport H2s) linked above -two pairs in fact. I wear them for biking and hiking in the summer when I am wearing gear and love them!

As I've complained about in other threads, casual is getting more difficult. Part of my problem is that when I'm wearing casual clothing, I want to be perfectly comfortable, and I seem to be especially sensitive to any clothing that pinches or pulls or is in any way uncomfortable. This is especially problematic since I look best in quite structured clothes. Add to it that I also live in an uber-casual rural Midwestern town... I swear, I'm going to have to stay inside all summer so that I can wear my lounging clothes. I'm hoping to find a pair of walking shorts that I like and a few interesting knit tops and then I'll call it good for the summer. If I can manage one more day dress, I think I'll be okay. At least my feet aren't fussy, so I have no shoe problems.

I've been following this thread too and I just want to add practice practice practice. While I would also love to have three days with Angie (and an unlimited supply of money), I've found that over time, this site and some practice are sufficient.

I was looking at some pictures of myself when my daughter (my oldest) was a newborn and I was a bit embarrassed. My mom style also involved fitted tees and jeans or shorts. And I never groomed my eyebrows before the age of 29. Gasp! ;) Anyway, my point is that it can be done even though it is a bit more work than buying a slew of tees in colors as Kari points out.

I think casual is so hard because we are surrounded by "casual" that is defined by tees and sweats. I think what Angie is trying to say is that we have to redefine casual for ourselves as something that is more stylish and polished. And of course, still comfortable.

Back in March, we went strawberry picking. I wore chucks, dark wash jeans, a loose white woven blouse (casual), white cami, my lime green canvas biker jacket and a fab mommy bag. I ended up leaving the bag in the car for the actual picking part because it was just more practical but I felt completely fab and comfortable. This farm is a very dusty place and my son got covered in strawberry juice and ice cream. Somehow, I managed to come out fairly clean, but even if I hadn't it would have been okay because everything was cleanable.

Anyway, I definitely didn't get to this point overnight and I know I'll need to keep practicing as my body and lifestyle change with pregnancy and nursing. Hannah, I also think you did a great job with your yacht outfit and I definitely think you can find "play clothes" that are stylish for the park.