What's the difference between frumptastic and feeling fab.... - YouLookFab Forum

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What's the difference between frumptastic and feeling fab....

Suz

(website)

Veteran

When you wear exactly the same formula?

I remember about a year ago, Una commenting that before joining YLF she had a sort of fallback uniform or silhouette. After joining YLF, she experimented like a madwoman for a while...only to return to said formula! Except now, she was starting to feel fab.

Deborah has made similar comments about her own experience.

Well, guess what? Moi, aussi.

Before YLF, I lived pretty much in a uniform of jeans with a sweater (often a turtleneck). And I felt frumpy.

Now, I wear the same thing, and most days, I feel pretty fab. In fact, the closer I hew to this old favourite formula, the more likely I am to feel fab.

So what is that about?

On another thread I speculated that it was largely about finding updated and current versions of your personal "essentials," with plenty of attention to fit.

But maybe there's more to it? What do you think?

BR essential turtleneck in black

Citizens of Humanity Racer jeans in Patina

Zara booties

No name belt

Cuff gift of my brother in childhood

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Dressing

62 replies

Latest reply was from Mander

Anonymous

I'm going to jump out on a limb here and speculate that maybe you felt frumpy because you were bored and had not yet realized this was your signature style. I've pretty much done the very same thing, and this is the only conclusion that makes any sense. The difference between then and now may rest in knowing more about what colors look best on me and on paying closer attention to proper fit. Hope this helps!

JAileen

Veteran

I think it's like someone who marries their high school sweetheart, having never dated anyone else. They wonder, maybe someone else is more exciting. Then, after a brief separation including an unsuccessful period of dating, they come to realize their spouse is really fab afterall.

JAileen

Veteran

BTW, even though my WIWs have gotten a lukewarm reception here, IRL I've been getting lots of compliments. I think it shows how high the bar is set here, especially compared to my town!

ironkurtin

Veteran

I'm returning to my standbys, but I never felt frumpy, ever. So I'm going to say ATTITUDE.

And sometimes you know what you like, and you just get better at buying it.

eds

I think it is all about proper fit. A turtleneck with good fit, be it a loose, draped fit or quite fitted can be terrific whereas one that fits poorly can look pretty frumpy.

JayS

Veteran

Maybe an attention to details? The wrong jewelry, etc. can kill a look. Also, maybe more attention to proportions. Proportions seem to be one of those maddening things when an outfit should work, but just doesn't. Sometimes hard to put your finger on.
And confidence - an integral part of any outfit. Just guesses here...

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I think fit, fabric and slightly updated silhouettes are what make the difference for me. I also wear the same basic "uniform" and even the same colors for the most part, but I've made a lot of tweaks. Example, before YLF most of the jeans in my closet were really too high waisted for me at about 9-10" rise. Before YLF I also wouldn't spend much time thinking about a purchase like jeans (even though I wear them so often), I'd find a pair that seemed to be "okay" then I'd buy 3 of them if the price was right. I've learned that for my body shape, I feel much better and look better in about a 7.5" rise and also that it's worth it to really spend time analyzing fit, length, fabric, etc. before buying. And as a bonus with the YLF education of semi-tuck I can enjoy belts again. And I've really added quite a collection of belts. The rise/belt/semi-tuck combo were big changers for me.

Same goes for tees and simple knit tops. I used to buy them more fitted but felt sort of self conscious in them that way. I also bought material that was too thick for my warm weather. And I often bought because of a sale, not because I loved the tee. Now I know that I like a much more fluid fit in all my tees and I'm SO much happier in them. I still will buy a tee that I love even if it's very inexpensive, but now I'm also likely to spend a great deal more on one that I love too.

Carole

Veteran

I relate, Suz. Is it perhaps the confidence we gain by experimenting and then positive feedback from YLF?

Anonymous

My two cents - you have refined your "uniform look" to the point where each element is just right and works just right and all is cohesive (and fab)!

Beth Ann

Veteran

OK -- do you have any older pics of your formula before YLF?

My guesses would be that your items were more traditionally classic, with decent fit (because I can't imagine you ever not paying attention to detail), but no PPL or refined silhouettes. If you're like me, you bought what you could find and what was affordable.

Now? Well, the fab is in the details! PPL, deliberate fits and silhouettes, finding the right neutrals and the colors that sing, even when they're not trending. Personal style details that highlight your features and personality without overwhelming.

I figure I'm a few steps behind you on the same road, and I was wearing almost a copy of your pic yesterday. Black t-neck, generous skinnies, belt, booties. I did through on some ugandan beads for color --- 'cause I have to take my Diva with me.

Perhaps your YLF trajectory is: Awareness to Open Exploration to Refinement, to Maintenance of Modern Personal Style.

I'd love to be in "maintenance," continuing to adapt in small ways to changing fashion and lifestyle, I figure I've just entered "Refinement," and I occasionally backslide!

amiable

Veteran

Fit and current-ness were my first thoughts, but I wonder if a lot of it has to do with intentionality. If we were wearing our "uniform" as a default, without putting thought into it, and then suddenly started thinking about it, it maybe spawned some discontent. But when we come back to it, it's recognizing that it's our choice to do so, and we know the underlying reasons that make it work for us. So we may be wearing very similar items, but we're doing so as a conscious choice rather than just defaulting to it....

Alassë

Veteran

My guess: you've refined fit, personal colour palette, and accessories (specs, belt, booties). While you may be wearing the same basic look, the items you construct it with are far more tailored now. Now not just any old sweater will do; jeans cannot be the same old thrift store pair; belts are a must, and carefully chosen for colour/texture; etc.

Anonymous

I agree that fab is in the details. Even classic pieces look dated and frumpy after a while. Whenever I start to feel frumpy or less than fab, it usually means I need to tweak my style to achieve a more updated look. Angie and fellow YLFers are great at helping me with that.

Isabel

Veteran

I think that Ruth and amiable are onto something.

As an observer of your "development", there has been change. Your hair for one. FABULOSITY ( yelling ) ! The cut of your pants. The semi tuck, the belts and shoes. You also seem to be more aware of texture and "bookending". I had never heard of it until YLF. It may be the same general formula but you have honed it and refined it. It is like the woman who loves dresses. There is such a wide array that you can change your style drastically but keep the same "item". If that makes any sense.

I have to say, that I am also falling back into black. Not so much as before, but I just feel cozier in the winter in black and it is just so much easier. I know that things are tweaked, but our inner core is hard to shake. It can be refined, however. : )

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all! Amy, I think you are probably right that being intentional has much to do with feeling better in what we are wearing -- as with all things in life, I guess. Choosing makes us conscious. Like the DFW video that Angie linked to in another thread.

Beth Ann, you are in no way a step behind...you are racing forward in your Ugandan beads....but you are so right, I used to just buy what was there and was affordable and while I cared about fit, I often couldn't find it. Being on YLF and seeing the things that might work for my body type has been super helpful -- plus reading people's reviews of different brands, and their long time experience.

PMC -- you are right, it's a question of continual refinement. I aim to go even further along that path this year.

And Carole, Jays, and Dana -- no doubt you're also right -- confidence and ATTITUDE play a huge role. At the same time, I think eds is right, too. Without the right fit I doubt if I would feel okay. I think that was often a big part of the "frump" feeling -- things just not fitting quite right and me not being patient or picky enough to hold off buying until I found the right fit.

Texstyle, so interesting to hear your reflections. I think you are right -- it has to do with being really conscious to our own reactions. In the past, you might have bought something and not really paid attention to the ways that it slightly bothered you or even tried to brush off your own feelings. Now, paying attention to them, you learn what you need to look for in the next purchases. I think this has happened to me, too. It helps to be aware of our own reactions and not dismiss them.

JayS - you are SO right about proportion - for me it is the trickiest thing.

JAileen - loved your analogy! I think it IS similar. I have married my high school love. (In fact, I did dress like this in high school!!)

Ruth - so interesting to hear that you have made a similar journey. And it's true -- these happen to be signature items for me. I wonder if the non frump factor is the same when it is not a set of signature pieces. Hmmm.

Sarah A

Veteran

I am agreeing with all of the above and also one thing that came to mind was a post Diana made a while back where she showed a simpke jean outfit unstyled and then styled with a semituck etc. (on the phone so cant put in a link my apolgies) the small details made all the difference. Truly how the item is worn seems as important as the items themselves. You are wearing your items with grwat styling these days. Perhaps thats the difference.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Isabel - so true! I am laughing at the thought of tweaking my inner core. Maybe twisting it like a dishrag..... You are also TOTALLY right about bookending and all other tricks to bring cohesion. I never had given that a moment's thought before YLF.

Alasse, I think you're right about accessories being key. And YLF is really great for helping me find great accessories!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I think it comes down to dressing authentically, as yourself, in your skin, but with more knowledge about the finer details. We play around, try trends, try to impress the audience for a while, and then hopefully come back to what is the authentic expression of 'us' in the best possible way using what we have learned.

Isabel

Veteran

SUz, LOL ! Your inner core is NOT a dishrag. It has become a fine cashmere ribbon. : )

Liz

Veteran

Surely hair and shoes play a part as well.
Then there is that indefinable inner knowing: "I have style, I chose this, I can do style, I know how to shop..." etc. I think that really shifts how we carry ourselves and perceive ourselves. It changes a "frump" day message from, "I feel so awful in my clothes; I am just frumpy; other women have 'it' --whatever that is -- and I never will," to "Meh, this outfit isn't working. Tomorrow's will."

Emily

Veteran

I'd say that it is about the fit, cut and attention to detail: Any old sweater and jeans could easily feel boring and frumpy. But if you educate your eye and shop with care for fabulous sweaters and jeans, and then add in carefully chosen accessories, chances are you feel fab. Which I guess is in large part related to attitude, like IK says.

K. Period.

Veteran

I wish I could add something, but I can only reiterate what others have said and you said yourself: I think it it is fit and currentness that make all the difference. I think accessory tweaks also make a huge difference because those get updated and refined too and add a lot to the picture.

Maybe...it just occurs to me that it could be a matter of freedom and variety too. This feels great because it is one of your options and you now have given yourself the freedom and knowledge that you needed to wear this as just one of the many different outfits you have at your disposal. If this were a FFBO but you only had this and a couple more that you felt great in, it would be very different than it is now with your many, many great outfits you can choose from. If you live in an ice cream shop and all you ever get to eat is ice cream, it isn't nearly the delight that it is if you have it around as an option among many other great choices. You have a lot of great clothing. This is a comfortable, authentic-feeling uniform snuggled in among them.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Hmmm - really good point, K.Can!!! I think you are onto something.

And Liz - what you are saying seems related to K.Can's point. It's confidence, but also an increased sense of freedom. Hmmm.

Gaylene

Veteran

I think we can't learn about why we are instinctively drawn to things until we expand our horizons and have the chance to explore alternatives and counterpoints. We may return to our original position, but our way of assessing it gets altered.

I think many of us on this forum have had the same experience. Changing our wardrobes to break out of a "uniform" has been a necessary exploration to renew its instinctive appeal. It also helps that the forum provides validation when others express appreciation for the re-emergence of the "uniform".

Catnip

Veteran

The same thing is happening to me! I've been trying on all kinds of new looks, but they don't feel right and most of them don't look right. I feel best when I wear my uniform, jeans or slim pants and some kind of sweater, often a pullover. The difference is an excruciating attention to detail, including fit, quality, proportions, color, the right specs, the most flattering hairstyle, perfect accessories. I was never sloppy or poorly groomed, but now I'm much less willing to compromise on anything.

It is so much work, but so worth it! It's also so much fun!

deb

Veteran

I think it has a lot to do with seeing yourself all the time in photos. Did you photograph yourself several times a week pre YLF? My guess is no and you relied on what you saw in the mirror. I know I am much more confident of seeing myself in pics and this plays a big roll in how I view myself in outfits.

ATLynn

Veteran

I'm going to 2nd Jay S. that proportion is probably the biggest lever to shift from frump to fab. And it's clear that you've honed an editor's eye for what to wear with what, when to tuck vs. untuck vs. semi-tuck, when you need a topper, what shoes work for dress, modern, casual, edgy, interesting, etc. and can now play with your closet to create fab looks from a relatively classic set of options.

minimalist

Veteran

Suz, what a perfectly timed topic!

A few days ago, while mulling over what "trying too hard" means for me personally and picking up new laces for bf at AE, what to my wandering eye should appear but familiar-feeling lace-up wingtip brogue boots. Something clicked: it might be A-OK for me to "regress" / circle back to the androgynous uniform that got me through grad school. Poplin flat-front pants, men's dress shirts, chunky belt, men's dress boots. Sounds pretty frumpy, right?

But I feel confident I can fab it up this time around. Fit, for one. And items I really love rather than a sammelsurium of good-enoughs. Overall, a sleeker silhouette even though (or because) I'm significantly heavier now; no men's plaid suit-jackets, this time around! At the time, I wore very big jewelry in attempt to femme it up; that's not an element I care to repeat. Instead, belts like some from the Brave link Una posted.

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AviaMariah

Veteran

First off you look spectacular in that picture. I'll probably repeat what many others have said but my guess is it's fit, style and being intentional. You obviously are obsessive (in a good way) about fit, you are picking interesting styles (like BF jeans) and you are wearing this because you know it looks and feels great on, not because you just happen to have it laying around.

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