What type of gift buyer are you?

Summer

Hi, Ladies.

Yesterday, I spent a very enjoyable few hours gift-buying with my younger daughter. DD loves to put together very personal, themed packages, which she wraps and presents beautifully. Her gifts are a joy to receive.
I, on the other hand, have a much more practical approach, preferring to know exactly what the recipient would like. Gift registries are a godsend for me since I can be sure that my gift will be liked and used.
For teenagers and young adults I tend to give cash or a gift card, as their tastes can be very specific (I usually add a tiny, wrapped gift alongside).
With my husband and daughters, I usually arrange a shopping trip with them so that we can buy something together and also enjoy a celebratory lunch.
I find buying for small children and elderly people the easiest, and for them I use DD's method of just choosing something pretty, quirky or delicious to eat.

Over to you. How do you prefer to gift-shop, and what do you prefer to receive?

8 years ago

Off Topic

13 replies

Latest reply was from Summer

Aziraphale

Veteran

Aaaaargh. Gift shopping.

Ideally, I prefer to get the recipient something that will surprise and delight them. The most memorable gifts are surprises that the recipient genuinely loves. In reality, though, this can be difficult. I find that some people are easier to shop for than others. My mother and mother-in-law were both easy to shop for at one time, and I enjoyed doing it. I had more time for browsing back then, though. Now my mom is a vegetable, so that's out window. My mother-in-law is not too bad, but it's getting harder because there's not a lot of room in their place for new art and she doesn't need many clothes.

Both dads are always hard. My husband is easy, but I can never surprise him, as we generally get each other things we have said we want. (One time I surprised him with a leather motorcycle jacket that was a huge hit, though!). Kids are easier and I still enjoy shopping for them. For friends and family members, I agree that gift registries are useful.

As for receiving gifts? The best would be an item that is both a surprise and something that I love, but that's really hard to do! Next best is something that love but that is not a surprise. Next best after that is money. Next best after that is something that I need but is not exciting. The worst is something that is a surprise and is ugly -- because then I have to pretend to like it!

8 years ago

Alassë

Veteran

LOL, Aziraphale. Your gift ranking is right on.

8 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, I'm the world's worst gift giver. I do like to do up the wrapping, but anyways. I have no idea what people like or what suits them. When I go out shopping for someone else, everything looks boring to me. Also, I buy two presents for myself for every gift I buy for another. There's also the fact that the people in my life are either incredibly fussy or have no interests that lend themselves to shopping. My only saving grace is I believe in quantity over quality; that's how I achieve the showered with love effect, lol. Non-occasional gifts also work good. Hehe.

8 years ago

elpgal

Veteran

I like giving and getting houseplants and food. I find shopping for others pretty tedious with the exception of my parents and husband who are always delighted by what I give them.

8 years ago

anne

Veteran

A lot of what you have all said resonates with me. I find gift giving stressfull and it is my least important "love language". Ideally, like Arizaphale said, I'd like my gifts to "surprise and delight" - but I'll settle for just being something that they'd like. I have a horror of giving a unwanted gift and I completely agree about gift registeries!.

I'm happy to stick to buying things again if they "work". I've been giving DH a ticket to the cricket for the last 2 years - he wouldn't buy this himself and he enjoys. My kids love movie tickets and experiences like an iceskating trip, or a shopping trip where they get to choose new clothes.

One child has a signature item that she like (owls).

My mother says she doesn't want gifts any more so I don't give them - except some chocolate sometime.

8 years ago

Summer

Veteran

Aziraphale - I love your response, especially "The most memorable gifts surprises that the recipient genuinely loves". Exactly, but isn't it difficult?!
I used to struggle to find gifts for my father, too, but now that he is very elderly I just put together a few little foodie items which seem to go down well.
Oh, yes, ugly surprises - they floor me too. The trouble is I'm useless at disguising my facial expressions!
Glad I'm not the only one to find this stressful. Aaaaargh, indeed!

Alasse - That was my reaction, too!

Rachylou - My sentiments entirely. How can you know exactly what someone else would really love? And, yes, fussy folk, and those with no special interests are the worst to buy for.
I love your quantity over quality approach!

Elpgal - Houseplants and food are great options. I like to give and receive that kind of gift myself.

Anne - I, too, have a horror of giving something unwanted or unsuitable; it seems such a waste when there would have been something the recipient really wanted or needed.
Buying the same gift again makes perfect sense. I like to receive pampering products like body lotions, and would be happy to get those over and over again.
Tickets for sports events and experiences are excellent ideas, too, and signature items are a godsend, aren't they? You can't go wrong with those.

8 years ago

Elly

Veteran

Gifts are hard. I love shopping for gifts for MOST people. I have varying levels of success with gift buying.

The SO is easy-- I would buy him little things he needs or could use all the time if I could afford it. On the other hand, he makes a better income than me and buys what "toys" he wants really quickly and they are often pricey, so I don't really get to buy him super fun stuff. He does gift cards for his family for the most part. I also like to give experiences, but often find something that he would find "special" and not just do for himself cost prohibitive.

Friends I see constantly get fun quirky gifts (cat pajamas, desk toys, odd corkscrews). Friends further away get gift cards.

Family is really hit or miss on the success of gifts. CDs, new hats for the men, magazine subscriptions, organic goat's milk hand balms, calendars, boxes of notecards with my photographs on them, earrings, kitchen equipment, and tools have all been successful. I like to get wish lists from older family members who don't online shop, because I can usually find exactly what they want but can't get locally and don't mind suggestions from folks.

I usually only get gifts from my parents and my boss. My brother and my grandparents usually do cash. The SO struggles with gift giving so usually tries to show his generosity in other ways. This year my boss bought me a lovely (fairly pricey) travel mug. I love her. Another boss gave gift cards to a local bookstore and another gave USB flash drives.

I think you really have to tailor the gift to the user. I can't wear scented things to work, so the default "scented handcreme" gift is lost on me. I love food gifts, but would prefer to be able to pick something out myself unless someone really knows me (I like salts and oils but don't like bbq sauc or hot sauce, for example and can't eat some sauces because of sensitivities). I DO like to get coffee gift cards or coffee beans and mugs, notebooks and sketchpads, silver jewelry, scarves, and experiences. I don't mind gift cards, but I have $50 lying around for a store that I don't shop at (and isn't on a gift card exchange). The person has to know you--- for example, I don't drink starbucks because we only have 1 in my town there is no parking, so I have to drive 4 miles and then walk 8 blocks to get a coffee there (the two best shops in town are a 1 block walk from work and next to the grocery store). Honestly, I'd rather have a visa or amazon gift card or cash with suggestions for spending it. I realize that doesn't work for some people, though. I've tried to do lists and have had hits and misses with this---- I've gotten perfect items and other times someone has STILL had to return something because it wasn't right or didn't work correctly.

8 years ago

Diana

Veteran

Ha, I was just having a conversation about this with J.

In general, giving gifts causes me a lot of anxiety. When I do come up with a good idea, it's usually an awesome one. However, a lot of times I just get stuck, so I think I prefer having a registry or other gift ideas in general to avoid the anxiety, and then if I happen to come up with an awesome idea, I'll just do that instead. For certain people, like J and my family, they know they don't get gifts from me at all unless they are awesome (obviously I only do this with people who won't get offended!).

Although I don't love attending baby showers, they are my favorite for gift-giving because I always get to make some super cute handknitted baby item as a gift (bonus, things like baby hats and booties are small so are quick to make, and even baby blankets and sweaters are fast)!

As for what gifts I like to receive? If it's from someone who knows me really well (like J) I like fun surprises. Otherwise, cash. My parents tend to give me cash and fine jewelry, which is also nice. People seem to love to give me cookbooks (which I enjoy). Even though I love clothes and yarn, I do not like receiving either as a gift because I am very picky about those things and it's very rare that the giver gets it exactly right.

And worst gift I ever received? At my bridal shower, someone gave me a diet book. (I still have it though, because it's such a good conversation starter, LOL.)

8 years ago

Summer

Veteran

Elly - Glad to hear that you mostly like gift-buying, and it sounds as if you have some good ideas.
I'm sure your SO appreciates the little, meaningful things you buy for him. As for his buying his own "toys", I think that's part of the problem. Many, maybe most,of us have the means to buy the things they love whenever they want, so don't really need gifts from others.
I agree that friends can be the easiest to buy for and they usually appreciate fun and quirky gifts, but for others it can be a bit of a minefield, can't it?
You make a good point about gift cards, by the way. It's important to have some idea of the other person's store preferences, and I've heard that many cards go unused, which seems such a pity.

Diana - I find it stressful, too, but it's good to hear that you sometimes come up with an awesome idea. I'm sure not sure that I've reached that level of gifting yet!
I bet your mum-to-be friends love the little handmade baby shower gifts -such a special finishing touch - and I'm sure you get a great deal of pleasure from making them.
Glad to know that you don't mind cash gifts as I sometimes do this, but worry that it seems too cold and impersonal. Better than something unsuitable, though.
As for your bridal shower gift - I'm speechless! I'm glad you saw the funny side!

8 years ago

Laurinda

Veteran

My family has an ongoing gift policy--

Best gift to get: Chocolate

Best gift to give: Chocolate

Everyone I'm close to has been affected by the economic downturn so we don't do much gift-giving. At Christmastime we do a re-gift exchange game with drawing numbers and trading that has been a lot of fun.

8 years ago

Summer

Veteran

Laurinda - I totally agree with you. Chocloate is definitely in my top 5 for giving and receiving! Also, I agree with giving within your budget restraints; gifts can get out of hand for some.

8 years ago

anne

Veteran

Well isn't a good thing we had this thread! It led me to discuss the cricket match gift with DH, and discovered that he'd actually prefer to watch the cricket at home, rather than sit out in the heat all day!! Now I'll have to think of something else to give him!!!

As to what I'd like to recieve - well top of the list and probably not received this century (except when I bought them as a family gift) would be theatre tickets. But I also like gluten free treats (or just GF ingredients generally), colourful necklaces in my colour, movie tickets, vouchers for book or clothes shops.

I keep a kind of mental list of things that are fairly easy to give as presents and then if no one gives them to me after my birthday or Mothers day (which are quite close together) I might go and buy them myself. Eg at the moment 1. Apron 2. springform tin 3. egg beaters. Maybe a hair straightener if I know the person asking suggestions has a preference for giving electrical gifts!

I also keep actual list on my phone of suggestions my children make to me throughout the year of things they'd like.

8 years ago

Summer

Veteran

Oh dear, Anne! Now I've given you a headache as to what to buy your DH!
Good luck on the ideas front.
Glad you mentioned theatre tickets as that's another thing I sometimes give, and love to receive myself. My DD is good at doing this.
Good for you for treating yourself to the things you need if they don't appear as presents - that's probably the best way to go about it! And children are seldom shy when it comes to present hints, are they?!

8 years ago

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