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Weddings. Ugh. Yuck. Multiple weddings = multiple yuck.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Ladies,

I have a bit of an issue. There happens to be a huge whack of my friends who suddenly decided to get married in the near future. Now, these are kind of fancy people. The kind of people who spend >$200 on a plate. The kind of scary weddings I usually make up an emergency to avoid.

Depending on the time of day, I suppose, what I will wear will be different. I cringe at the thought of spending so much money on a dress x4 (potentially 5) that I will only wear once. I think I can probably have an excuse to avoid at least one of them (I'll volunteer for call or something, discretely...)

I am already secretly hinting I don't want to be part of the bridal party of one of the weddings although I am really good friends with the bride and she's sort of hinted that she wants me to ... (I'm really busy with school! ... seems to work)

Is it tacky to rent? Or second hand?

Dressing

23 replies

Latest reply was from lyn*

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I don't think it's tacky to rent or go second hand. All else fails you can do a simple dress and change up the accessories.

MsMary

Veteran

I don't think either of those is tacky. Nor do I think there is anything wrong with repeating the same outfit for more than one event. Honestly, all people will notice is how beautiful you look, not the details of your outfit!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

If you can't dodge them all, maybe you could at least find a dress or two at a great price that could be worn again in your regular life. This particular ebay seller always has boatloads of name brand dresses at cheap prices (it's where I got my LBD and the Suzi Chin silk I plan on using for weddings) http://clothing.shop.ebay.com/.....8;_udhi=25 I just plugged in size 2 under $25 but there are hundreds more.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thanks, Anna, that's what I was thinking of ... maybe a $200 budget for a dress and then get some rockin' accessories

MaryK - you're as sweet as ever! <3

You are a life saver, Mo! I loooove some of their things! Will definitely get a dress or two... that I can hopefully dress down for clinic.

rae

(website)

Veteran

*Neither* is tacky! It's your budget, and no one else's business.

You can get amazing deals, especially second-hand, as like you said people really only wear these dresses once. You can thrift next-to-new dresses for pennies on the dollar - right after prom season = GOLD. I just bought a Kay Unger gown for $1... who knows when I'll wear it, but it's here if I need it!

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I would buy one dress that you can accessorize many ways (and probably try to make sure it would work for a funeral or other such event, too). If you don't have a LBD, it may be time to find one.

Anonymous

Lyn*, weddings are a great place to meet men! I'd get one pretty dress, a great pair of shoes, sidle up to those reception open bars and hit the dance floors!

Jjsloane

Veteran

How many of the weddings will have the same guests? That should determine how many dresses you really need. It is only tacky to show up in white or something bridal-looking. You always look so cute you should be able to find something fantastic. And because it will be unique the label snobs will not know what to think (if that's a concer - and it shouldn't be)

Di

(website)

Veteran

Renting, thrifting, borrowing, or just swapping out accessories are all good options. It might help to remember, too, though, that people are often so concerned with how *they* look that your repeat performance won't even dawn on them (especially if it's fairly simple/classic).

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I remember I have a black dress, but it has a shark-bite hem that is a midi-length I think feels a bit dated.

I bought it for my friend's engagement party - hmm; maybe that might work

Alicat - Men. Lolz. I usually bring one of my very close friends as my "wedding date" (and I return the favor when he has to go to weddings) - I will use him as my wingman if need be

Di

(website)

Veteran

If it's midi length AND has a hemline that feels dated to you, can you hem it to have a "new" dress?

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

If it could be hemmed, it would be amazing. The top/bodice fit very nicely. My lady friends call it the "husband finder" dress. LOL.

nicoleb

(website)

Veteran

I feel for you lyn! Wedding can be expensive even when you are not in them and they can also take over your summer!!!! I say do what works for YOUR budget and don't worry about anything else.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

Oh no! I had a summer like that about 10 years ago! I don't think there's anything wrong with renting or second hand shopping for something you'll only wear once.

Steph

Veteran

I don't think there is anything wrong with going second-hand, renting (although I admit I never really see dress rentals), or wearing the same thing to several weddings (which is what I would do/have done, particularly if there isn't a lot of overlap on the guest list). I think it would be sad to skip the weddings of your friends because you were worried about what you were wearing.

You put together such great outfits that I just looked through your WIWs because I was sure that you already have items that would work. I realize that a lot of your dresses are short and you wear them with leggings, so they might not work for weddings. But how about these:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....after-work

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ew-glasses

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....y-in-blush

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ses-take-2 (maybe without the belt if you need length?)

http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....rned-frock

I stopped going through them after that, because it seemed like there were several that would work. It doesn't have to be satin or sequins just because it's a wedding. If it's black tie, that's different. But if not, I think with the right shoes and accessories, a lot of these dresses can be repurposed for a wedding.

Kate

Veteran

Ugh indeed! In terms of repeating parts of your outfits, I would also think about photos and facebook. Unfortunately, we live in an age of hyper-documentation. My initial thought it so repeat anything you can for events where the guest lists don't overlap, and assume that people care more about how they look than how you look. But if people are going to throw everything up on facebook, you might not want to repeat many items. In that event, it might actually be better to repeat your jewelry than your dresses.

Le sigh. Maybe I'm over thinking things, but I'm particularly careful not to repeat outfits that are documented on facebook when I know I'll be around friends who like to take pictures. I also might just be scarred by the photo album of 17 years of Santa photos in which my siblings and I have SO many repeated Christmas-y outfits.

crazyone

Veteran

Steph, I thought exactly like you did. Lyn, you wear nice dresses all the time. Some are a little short, but I'm sure some of them are long enough, especially if the weather isn't that warm and you can wear sheer black stockings with them. It might be nice to get one nice new dress for the wedding that is the fanciest and for which you feel closest to the couple get married, but I'm *sure* your closet contains suitable stuff for these weddings.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I would just be democratic and wear the exact same outfit to every event, if time and place permit (and you don't get too bored). (-:

The black dress alteration sounds promising!

rae

(website)

Veteran

'kay, any dress nicknamed the "husband finder" has got to get more play! Aren't shark-bite hems and midis back this season? Let's see it before you hem.

Freckles

Veteran

Budget and cost per wear have to be considered. I tend to spend more money on clothes I only wear a few times and that is just stupid.

Let's see the shark bite dress, husband finder indeed has to be back in the rotation.

Charmian

Veteran

Lyn, I feel your pain! I have 7 weddings and 1 graduation to attend this year. And I'm attempting to pull it off with 3 dresses (4, if you count the omg-it's-so-obviously-a-repurposed-bridesmaids-dress in blue silk chiffon).

I would definitely get your existing "husband finder" dress altered so it can be brought into play. Given that you already have basic "workhorse" dresses, you can definitely stretch the others using accessories. Sashes/belts, cardigans vs wraps vs jackets, boots vs heels, statement jewelry ... you know the drill. I've tried to steal ideas from http://www.alreadypretty.com/2.....dress.html, but I don't have the same set of accessories as Sal to make many of them work.

I got married 5 years ago, and I honestly can't remember what my guests were wearing ... much less whether they were re-wearing something from another wedding that season. I think a little re-wearing is fine, as long as you're making an effort to look unique each time.

( PS -- bridesmaids dresses are so expensive, aren't they?!? )

Lisa

Veteran

I don't think there is anything wrong with telling a bride that you cannot afford to be a bridesmaid but would like to stay involved in the wedding. When you say no and don't offer anything afterwards (do a readind during the ceremony perhaps instead) that's usually when a bride freaks out.

For a dress, I see nothing wrong with renting. But I think a good basic dress can go very far with accessories varied each time. And don't these friends of yours know you are in school, money is going to be tight and they should understand that.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Lisa - that's a great idea! I'll offer emergency medical services... HAHAHA. Nah, I'll offer to help with something. Usually they put me on invitations. I'm handy with a gluestick.

Charmian - ... $500. I was like. What? + Accessories. WHAT?! I don't even spend that on updating my WORK wardrobe. I nearly passed out. Uh... no. :p