Just to note: Pyrex >>>> Rubbermaid, she doesn't know what she's missing.

I know! I thought it was an upgrade too - She registered for a rather small set of rubbermaid, I gave her a rather large set of pyrex No reply from her yet.

Good grief! I love my Pyrex! She really doesn't know what she's missing!!

Late to this party, but all I can say is WOW!! Just wow.

And yeah, Pyrex totally trumps Rubbermaid!

You gave her a set of Pyrex and she turned around and asked for a TENT?!?
It must be one heck of a tent!!! Sheesh.

It reminds me of the time a very good friend received a Royal Doulton figurine as a wedding gift and asked her mother-in-law to ask the gift giver to return it and buy them something more "modern" and suited to her taste. I was HORRIFIED. Her mother-in-law refused and after all this time, I still admire the mother-in-law for sticking up for her friend's gift.

Some people never get it, but the important part is that you handled it beautifully! Here's hoping she will restore some faith with you and respond appropriately.

WOW. I mean... just... WOW. I am appalled at this woman's behavior.

I REALLY like Mary K's take on this - but - I would make your response shorter, crisper, and more succinct. My experience with people like your cousin, is, the more words you give to somebody who behaves this way the more it validates their bad behavior - and allows that person to think he or she can walk all over you. How you handle this, will determine how she behaves towards you in the future. Nip this in the bud.

I would not worry about any family awkwardness on your part, because I'm pretty sure she's already annoyed plenty of people in your family. This kind of behavior isn't a one-time thing.

And seriously, you have a family to love and care for. Why should you blow your budget on someone like this?

I am genuinely shocked at how she handled the topic of children. If you are planning and event, and don't want small children there, why not just say so?
She sounds very passive-aggressive and manipulative.

I have gone through 3 sets of Rubbermaid for my old set of Pyrex that is still kicking around. The boyfriend uses his -grandmother's- Pyrex. That stuff is indestructible.

She doesn't sound like the type to use a tent, anyway...

I can understand getting gifts that you aren't into and won't use (although Pyrex really is a universal constant) and the tragicomic aspect. But the whole point is that you hide that from the giver, it's the thought that counts.

So if given a Royal Doulton Figurine, I have to truthfully admit, I would want to regift it to someone who would appreciate it and take good care of it as soon as humanly possible. But if the giver was someone who might visit me.... I'd probably hide it in a cupboard to keep company with my grandmother's china and bring it out to sit on the mantelpiece for their visits. People who mean well and care for you are far more important than personal taste IMO.

Bravo! Well put. Pyrex is great. What is even better is having family support as you start your married life, as well as the opportunity to express gratitude.

Sheesh- a tent. (Lifts jaw off floor.)

I enjoyed reading how gracious you were, Amy. Good luck. xo

Fascinating post, and I think we all learned a lot about good grace here, and how to deal with v difficult people with style.

I am shocked - SHOCKED - at her behavior over a gift. And to demand something else and more expensive? Sounds like you handled it really well. I would have said something a lot less polite in the hopes that she'd learn a lesson, but I do understand needing to keep peace in the family. You did perfectly.

My Mom would disown me if I ever behaved like your cousin
Man wonder if these people think world revolves around them .

Wonderful life lesson, what a great read - every single response. Well done Amy.

Wow! This tale is like something I would read in an advice column in the newspaper. MaryK has a second career ahead of her when Miss Manners retires. . .YLF is the place to go for great advice even beyond fashion and style!!!

Like everyone else I am SHOCKED by her request (er..demand). Totally rude and bullying behavior. I am also in awe by the graciousness of your response. I'll have to remember to come to the forum for advise if I get into a sticky social situation. Great advise!!

As far as the royal doulton figurine incident the recipient should have said thank you and then sold it on ebay if they didn't want it or regift it. It's not as if it was some Precious Moments stuff after all.. Now that I'd really have a hard time receiving graciously ( ie not smashing it to smithereens ...) something about PM just creeps me out.

Way to go MaryK and Amy - PERFECT response!

P.S. - I hope we get to hear her reply.

No reply yet! I'll let you know when I get one.

I'm pretty sure she and her husband will be at our family Easter celebration in a few weeks, so if nothing else, I'll talk with her then and see how it goes.

You are so lovely!

My feeling is that your work here is done, and it's up to her to bring it up at Easter, if she dares. Srsly. The ball couldn't be more in her court if it tried!!

I totally agree with you Mary - and I have no intention of bringing it up at Easter! Thanks for validating my preference to avoid the topic if possible

(I do think that if it comes up, I might offer to watch for tents for her as I garage sale this summer)

Wow and ugh! I don't know what else to say except you have handled this graciously.

I love that, Amy! "The gift closet doesn't have any tents in stock but I"ll tell you if we get any in this summer!"

EXACTLY Mary!

Maybe she finally came to her senses and realized what a great gift you gave her.

I also may be reading between the lines regarding the gift receipt and she may just want to return it for the cash. This has happened at the last wedding I attended. I spoke with a few people who were at the same wedding and that the bride returned many if the gifts, even the ones on her registry, for money. It seems one of the guests works at the store where she was registered and found out what she was doing.

Bride poison gets the best of us... I think you handled it beautifully. Whatever happened to "thank you" and dealing with unwanted items discreetly so as to not trouble the giver? That's how I was raised. The set of Mickey Mouse champagne glasses (gee thanks) I received at my wedding being a case in point.

Just coming back to this now. Your note is so gracious and clear, Amy!

Any response yet?

I might have a tent I could send her ...

No response yet. I expect I'll see them at Easter - we'll see whether it comes up. I'd love to have a tent to give them too, but I'm not going to go out and buy the one they requested (even though it's a reasonable price) on the principle of it

And I'm planning to NOT bring it up at Easter. She'll have to do the awkward work if it's important to her

I'm following this thread with interest as my daughter will be getting married this June. Hopefully will not encounter a similar situation!