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Wearing all black to a wedding--yay or nay?

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

My cousin is getting married this weekend and my son is going to be the ringbearer (again!). This time I'm not going to be in the wedding or be in any official pictures (except maybe extended family). I was thinking of wearing an all-black lace Bailey 44 dress, since I haven't had an occasion to wear it since I bought it, but was wondering if all black is inappropriate for a wedding. Also, it's very body con (esp with my huge belly) and I'm not sure if that is too sexy or vulgar for a church. The other option is the 2nd cobalt dress that I didn't wear to my sister's wedding. This upcoming wedding is in a church at 1 pm with an evening reception. DS will be in a mini-tux. Which do you think looks better?

Yay=wear the black dress
Nay=wear the cobalt dress

Thanks for your advice!

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Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from cobaltblue

Caro in Oz

Veteran

I think the blue dress is the safer option & you look so pretty in it.

Scarlet

Veteran

I still adore that blue one.

Scarlet

Veteran

On second thought, it seems like you don't adore the blue one and I think it might still be returnable? Couldn't you wear the mermaid dress again? I know usually one wouldn't wear the same dress to two family weddings, but I think a pregnant lady gets a gimme on that one. She also gets a gimme on wearing black, if you feel better with that option. I would just add some happy accessories to it.

ElleH

Veteran

I love them both on you. I don't know what is appropriate in your family & friends circle but it is quite common to wear black to weddings these days in many circles. Perhaps you could ask the bride?

krishnidoux

Veteran

I prefer the first one. Necklace is such a lovely touch. In church usually one should keep their shoulders covered (general rule). So maybe the first one with a topper for church that you can remove eventually afterwards.

Mander

(website)

Veteran

The black dress is beautiful, but I prefer the blue one for an afternoon wedding.

However, if you don't love it and are thinking about returning it, then I also agree that it is acceptable to wear the same dress you wore before, but with different accessories.

Raisin

Veteran

I think you can wear either one, you look gorgeous in both. The black is no problem for a wedding. Also, you're pregnant, so no one can mess with you no matter what you choose, lol!

bj1111

Veteran

black. just don't outshine the bride.

ps i saw a lovely church wedding where the bmaids were in black cocktail dresses. other bmaids have been instructed by brides to wear any dress as long as it's black!

Anonymous

As a traditionalist, I vote nay to the black dress. The blue one is a great choice.

Kat

Veteran

I think you look gorgeous in the black dress and the addition of a topper or wrap for church allows you to put something "happy" into play for the church portion and then continue at the dinner reception looking sophisticated with or without covering your arms/shoulders. I vote black dress, but only if you won't outshine the bride (tough, 'cause you look great) and you feel comfortable in it. You really can't go wrong in either, but if you're asking permission for the black dress, you have mine

Glory

Veteran

I have worn black to 2 weddings and one was an afternoon affair. I was worried orginally but there were no issues and I was happy in my choice. There were several women who did and they looked lovely. I think both are fab on you but you should pick what is the most comfortable and which one makes you feel great. I find the black especially lovely and sophisticated.

lyn67

Veteran

I vote the blue one! It's such a pretty color and is more safety as somebody already said.Note: I think you look heavenly gorgeous in the black one....just a bit too sexy (even if preggie:-)) and too figure conscious for a church wedding. But see what others are saying:-).

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I'm not sure of the etiquette of wearing black to a wedding so will leave that up to the experts. However, you look positively gorgeous in the black lace dress and the necklace is perfect for it. If black gets to the go-ahead, I vote for this dress.

saramir

The black dress is stunning on you at this stage of the pregnancy! It's just the right amount of bodycon. I think it would completely appropriate...to an EVENING wedding. I think it would look out of place at a 1pm wedding (if it were above the knee, I think it would be more appropriate for afternoon, but the combination of the black, lace, midi length, and bodycon = evening to me). The cobalt dress is lovely. You will not stand out and outshine the bride but you look radiant and beautiful in it, and it's perfect for an afternoon wedding and evening reception. I am not crazy about the shoes you have on with it though..they don't seem formal enough for a wedding to me.

Sara L.

Veteran

I prefer the blue one. The black looks great on you, but I think it's a bit too body conscious for an afternoon wedding. You wouldn't want to draw focus away from the bride.

modgrl

(website)

Veteran

I don't have any problem with wearing black to a wedding but I think the blue is much prettier on you right now. Have fun!!

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I vote for the black one maybe with a white jacket or something for the wedding and then without for the evening reception. Weddings are short, receptions are long; the reception is in the evening, so I think it's OK to wear the black one and just adapt if a little for the day wedding.

The blue is lovely as well, but IMO the black is better.

MsMary

Veteran

I'm with Saramir and Jenava -- the black is just stunning but maybe not for afternoon. Wear it but add a topper for the ceremony

amiable

Veteran

I like the black better - but they're both beautiful. The black shows off your prego shape so wonderfully!

ironkurtin

Veteran

You can wear any color you want to a wedding so long as you don't look like the one getting married. (Which considering being pregnant would be pretty funny, actually.) Wear whichever one is most comfortable!

Andie

You look beautiful in the blue!!! I say Blue!

Parsley

Veteran

I vote for the black one with a topper. It's stunning on you- very sophisticated. I love the necklace with it.
In the old days there was a "rule" about not wearing black to weddings, but times have changed! Now it's quite acceptable to wear black. You just need to make it look festive, which your dress and necklace do, so no problem.

Shu

I know that more and more people are finding it acceptable to wear all black to a wedding, but you never know whether the bride will be one of those people. My MIL and SIL both wore black to my wedding and I wondered whether they were doing so in protest (our relationship was rocky), and it hurt my feelings. I wouldn't do it in consideration of a bride's potential feelings for that reason.

I also think the cobalt is really lovely on you. That B44 dress is ROCKIN' on you, so if you don't wear it to the wedding I'd definitely work it in somewhere else :).

Girl X

(website)

Veteran

Black to a wedding is fine - so long as you're wearing it in a festive way. The (lovely!) dress and necklace in #1 definitely looks like you're going to a party, so it should be totally fine. A bright topper for the ceremony, and a shiny or colourful clutch and you're golden.

I think an easy rule for wedding black is: if you would feel comfortable wearing the outfit (full outfit, not just the item) to a funeral, than it isn't appropriate for a wedding, and conversely (and more obviously) if you can wear the outfit to a wedding, it's probably inappropriate for a funeral.

shiny

Veteran

I vote cobalt.

I do have a question: that Bailey dress is not maternity, right? Do you fret that wearing it right now may stretch it permanently out of shape? Because that is a gorgeous dress. I would worry about that. What a crime, if you could not wear it post-pregnancy.

Anonymous

Yes, I had a stretchy shirt I wore when pregnant, and it permanently bagged out.

Sylvie

Veteran

I prefer the blue. It may be the photos but the black one really does put the bump front and center and shows every curve - leg, hips, etc. For an evening secular wedding, sure. For a church in the afternoon, I feel like one needs to be a little more subdued and less bodycon.

Ariadne

Veteran

I love the black one and think it's completely OK for an afternoon wedding. My understanding is that black is acceptable for weddings of all kinds nowadays. The shoes (although are they a bit too summery, perhaps?) and necklace keep it from being stark and you can always add a clutch in a color as well if you want. My only concern is what Shiny said--will it be permanently stretched out since it's not a maternity dress (assuming it's the same one I admired at Anthro a few weeks ago)?
The blue dress is gorgeous too, so I think either choice would be just fine.

Susie

Veteran

The black dress is gorgeous but I would save it to wear when you aren't pregnant. The blue one is lovely on you and I believe it is more appropriate for an afternoon, church wedding.

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