Style - how much is about what's in the head?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and Elly's question about another chance making the first impression a new group of people gave it a nudge to finally share my thoughts... Style - how much is it about the content of the wardrobe and how much about the (self) perception?

Here’s why. Although I considered myself a life-long refugee from anything style related and leaned on the side of practicality, there were a few things I was always pretty clear about: I have always liked bold colors, odd/contrasting color combinations, stripes and polka-dots, clean lines, asymmetric cuts, natural fabrics and I don’t mind paying a good price for quality. Don’ts in my world are: anything boho, hippy-sh, pastel, beigey, revealing, and anything that lasts one-wash only.

I was only vaguely aware of that and wasn't attributing those views to have anything to do with my style. I wasn’t sure I had any direction. Even if I had, I didn’t know exactly what to do with my “knowledge of the matter”. My technical mind works in a very straighforard manner: if I can’t understand something fully, I can’t apply it. I was always a logical instead of intuitive dresser and at times it was very disheartnening, like I was less good. The intutives that just put things on and see if it works or make it work by taking away or adding drove me nuts. I thought that’s the only valid way.

But, even Angie says style is about following a few rules. Learn them and apply them and hey presto – you can be stylish too.

I fancy a thought of myself as a stylish person. Now, some day, it doesn't really matter, I believe I’m getting there. The thought helps to fight a few 'style demons' of my own, mainly that everything odd on the tall person is magnified, thus making things more weird and uglier than if they were less visible on smeone petite.

In the recent months, when things have been taken to a whole new level thanks to interacting with you, I realized that I actually dress almost the same way as did before, except with a bit more polish and thought process. My style didn’t convert to a boho or eclectic or artistic. I used to think I chose boring, safe route, because I knew nothing better. But, I remain on the very classic-orientated path and finally feel good about it. It’s not about remaining in the comfort zone and not feeling like stretchhing the boudries - I’m happy with how much of that do, all in its good time. I’m in no rush now, I know I have a place to learn all the tricks and get all-important real-life inspiration.

What has changed? I am more aware of what to put on in terms of lengths, styles and accessories. I no longer see my minimalist inclinations in dressing as a lack of inspiration or knowledge what to put togehter, but more like my choice of knowing when not to overload the outfit. I have room to experiment with something new and get feedback for it. In reality, I still wear lots of black and red, my eyes still twinkle when I see pretty striped top or scarf, I’ll happily reach for some odd color combination. Many, many things are the same as before.

But my perception has changed.
Now I'm closer to understanding why something works. Now I know that even the most stylish people have to put thought into dressing. That makes me feel less disorientated.

What I wear these days is not random, which seems to make the biggest psychological impact. I may not always be spot on with my choices, but at least I'm doing something about it.

Oh, yes, and having fun on the way

Any similar thoughts?

14 years ago

chouette22

Veteran

How wonderful that this is all coming together for you, and to notice that you have not even changed your style that much. It must do wonders for your confidence when your choices are so much more informed now and the guesswork has been removed. I also feel much more confident now that I am getting up-to-date style information and examples in action from here; before I was often guessing and really had nowhere to get confirmation from (not having girlfriends who were on that same wave length, and fashion magazines seemed too removed from ordinary lives).

Barbara

Great question, Ornela!

I DO have some rules about style, some gleaned from WHAT NOT TO WEAR episodes (taken with many grains of salt) but most from YLF. But I have always been an intuitive gal and know the second I look in the dressing room mirror whether or not it's really ME looking back at myself.

Yesterday I tried on a floral multicolor mod tunic by Pappagallo that I had been stalking - it was on sale at Steinmart - and laughed out loud when I saw how ridiculous I looked once I tried it on! It looked like a box of Crayolas had exploded in blooms.

I have been SO inspired by Angie and all the YLF ladies. I didn't even wear scarves until recently and have stepped outside my comfort zone many times by trying on clothes I wouldn't have given a second glance a year ago.

I am glad to hear you are happy with your style evolution. Fun is the main objective!

Kristine

Yes, I totally know what you mean! I'm always surprised when I can put together an outfit from clothes I owned before YLF and they look completely different. My style hasn't undergone a major change, but learning a few rules and paying closer attention has really helped me express it better.

One of the best parts of my style evolution so far is realizing my own taste is just as valid as anyone else's. When I first starting learning about style I'd page through magazines mystified by the fact that I didn't care for any of it. Now I realize that's ok and can even be a good thing. I try to stay open minded to new trends but ultimately I've learned to respect my own instinct.

celia

Ornela, I'm glad that you are feeling more confident and 'informed' about what you wear and like but I'm especially glad that you share and that we have this comunnity in wich to grow and bloom, so to speak
Lately I also been having some thoughts about this. In the whole my fashion choices regarding the pieces or the styles I choose are not that diferent from what I did before.Like they often say on WNTW , you put on the same number of items, jeans, shirt, jacket and some shoes. The devil is really on the details.
Before I used to look at other women and think, wow that outfit is gorgeous and would try to copy it not realizing that the outfit looked gorgeous to the woman in question, not necessarily me.
Perhaps because of family orientation I never really learned what looked good on me but instead I learned how to make myself look reliable.
I spent more than 30 years not realising that teal is one of my best colors, for example.
I always had the feeling that women were suposed to look good but not really talk about it between themselves.And that made me mad because, like you, I need to understand why things work.
Searching the subject and with great help from Angie and this forum now I get the basics and feel like have basis tools at least not to disgrace myself.
I still have a long way to go but it is a fun journey.

Queen Mum

What great thoughts Ornella. It sounds like you already had a good understanding of who you are, and you knew what was flattering on you. I think those are the first major hurdles to jump on our style journey. If we aren't confident with who we are and we don't know what looks good on us, we are floundering in the mall trying anything willy nilly and never quite hitting the mark.

Aida

Great read and great replies, I find all this type of stuffs fascinating! Ornela I'm a lot like you, and found myself nodding while reading your whole post. Especially on the feelings about your style feeling "plain" instead of deliberately clean. I am the same with neutrals! I wear a lot of them, but it's because I love them, not because I'm rutted. But here I think there's a (somewhat distinct) separation from knowing what cuts/styles fit and flatter your body.

I do have an instinctive side, with my half-artist-half-engineer brain; but when I first realized I was dressing badly, I completely and totally stopped trusting all the instincts I had. Which was good at first, because it let me really analyze and absorb all the different "rules" and gave me controlled experimentation grounds.

However at some point those instincts are going to be honed and ready to use, and we have to start to trust them (even for those who are technically oriented). Coming to YLF started making me realize that my instincts were no longer horrible, but of course I doubted that and on some days felt confident about instinctual decisions and on others not so much. Honestly, I think THIS is what is really the crux behind why my personal style evolution is working so well for me: I'm trusting my instincts and letting them run the show (with my technical knowhow supporting the whole thing from behind the scenes). A healthy dose of confidence helps a lot

And I think this is an important thing for everyone, not just myself. When you look at rules/formulas and try to determine how to make them work for you, I feel a lot of those decisions are more instinctual when not specifically about fit. If I look at an outfit and I think to myself, "I could wear that if I swapped out the floral dress for a geometric print dress," it's not for some technical reason; florals simply don't appeal to me and I like geometric patterns. But if it's, "I could wear that if the skirt was a-line and I added some back darts", that's me having the technical-knowledge-turned-instinct to know what looks good on me.

As technically oriented as you are Ornela, I think you have very good personal style instincts. The fact that your style hasn't drastically changed tells me this as well. You know what you like (doesn't matter why you like dots and stripes, you can just like them!) and you wear them with confidence. And I think you're super stylish already

(I'm long winded today, sorry for the novel -_- Can you tell I think about this a lot too?)

Ornella

(website)

Thanks everyone... I'll return to your comments when I have a bit more time. Promise

Anonymous

Ornela - I have to say I am in the same boat as you. Before YLF I had a sense of style but putting together an excellent outfit that I loved was random. Angie has this ability to break down the components into bite-sized pieces so now I understand why something works and why it doesn't....fit, proportion etc. I am also a logical dresser so I like to be able to think it all through and understand the nuts and bolts about it all. So now, after 3 years on YLF, I am able to look at something and say....that is "me" or that is "not me" so in the end, I look like a more polished version of "me", rather than the frumptastic "me" that schlepped around before.

Lynne

Ornella, it sounds like you had very accurate instincts, and that now you are learning why these styles work so well for you? I love love love your clean, classic styles and dramatic colours, they suit you SO well, and from what you're saying they really echo a lot about who you are, as well? You are strong, technical, analytical, but also creative and 'colourful', and you look completely "you" in your clothes!

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