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Searching for "my" style...

LilMrsNomad

I've started to rebuild my wardrobe but I'm still struggling with style. I feel like I'm trying too hard and my fear is that I'm starting to veer into "mutton dressed as lamb" territory - Im a 34yr old mother of two. Any suggestions and all advice is very much appreciated!!!

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Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from LilMrsNomad

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I sure don't see any mutton here! I love how you've paired your denim jacket with the skirts/dresses, I think that is very current. You seem to have a good sense of what shapes and proportions work with your body. What exactly are you struggling with?

cjh

(website)

Veteran

I don't know if this encourages you or not, but these outfits all look very nice, certainly not age-inappropriate - probably more age-lessly classy and up to date. I love the dress in #1. I would wear these pieces happily; I'm 61 yrs. old.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

No mutton dressed as lamb. Flattering shapes, interesting florals, a mainly casual style (at least from the pics) and use of juxtapositions like the denim with the skirt.

So. A couple more questions: Do you work outside the home (and if so, where)?

What are your main activities?

How do people tend to dress in your environment?

celia

Veteran

Very nice outfits and very appropriate. I especially like the dress.
My only suggestion, and this is a personal opinion, with the skinny jeans I prefer slighter looser and longer shirts.
What exactly do you think you would like to change or play with in the way you dress?

LilMrsNomad

I think it might be easier to just list my "issues" with each outfit.

1) I would most likely pair this dress with tights, boots and a black leather jacket. I like this dress. Its a little on the big side (hard to see in this photo) but any smaller and it wouldn't fit across the shoulders. My biggest issue with this dress is that my husband doesn't like it. When I first tried it on I adored it, but I think hubby has ruined that for me a little...

2) I this this dress/cardigan combination, but I feel as though the sandals are a bit too heavy(?) for it. Also, completely unsure where I would wear this outfit. I barely leave the house and when I do, its usually in Yoga pants, a t-shirt and a puffer jacket.

3) I love this combo BUT again, the sandals feel too heavy for it. And the jacket - it seems a bit out of left field.

4) Not really sure I can pull off denim on denim.

5) This outfit is probably the one Im most comfortable in. The shirt covers my hips which are my "problem area". I would gladly wear this kind of outfit all day, everyday. I guess I would like a few outfit ideas that make me feel as at ease as this ensemble.

6) This is the outfit that has me feeling most like mutton dressed as lamb. Love the shoes, just not with this outfit. It all just screams "trying to be young!!!" But my husband LOVES it.

7) I cant seem to get this one right. I like the jacket. I like the Black jeans. Don't love the boots but they were what I had on while I was shopping - I most likely would wear a pair of black boots. But I just cannot get the shirt right. I tried on a long white shirt but it made my legs look too short. I feel like the black singlet just accentuates my large-ish hips. On the whole I feel like the combo makes me look more pear shaped than I actually am. I just kind find the right shirt to balance the whole thing.

8) Another combo Im not 100% sold on but one of my husbands favourites. The shape of the skirt isn't wrong. I need more flare, but when I try skirts with more flare it makes my hips look huge. I just cant get it right.

I guess there are elements of all these outfits that I like, but on the whole theres something that bugs me about almost every single one of them. I just want a few ensembles that make me feel pretty and put together but comfortable.

I don't work outside the home. Im a full time stay at home mother and homemaker. My husband and I moved our little family to Ireland about a year and a half ago to further his career. Its safe to say Ive lost a little bit of myself in the move. Ive gone from working full time and being financially independent, to being completely dependant on my husband. Im a type A personality, so to say that its been a struggle would be an understatement. On the plus side, I've learned to cook and I've lost 35kgs in the bargain. We live in a very affluent area of Dublin and the women here are impeccably dressed. My normal attire consists of yoga pants, a t-shirt and a puffer jacket. I've been mistaken for the boys' au-pair on more than one occasion during pre-school pick-up and drop offs. Its rather embarrassing!

Sorry for the essay, I honestly didn't intend to write this much!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

The first dress is the only one that strikes me as maybe young, just because it's floral and a flared-skirt dress. But worn with a leather jacket and tights it would be a bit toughened up. (Can you have it tailored if you think it's too big through the body?) The separates look totally appropriate to me.

The floral parts of your style reminds me a bit of this blogger; she does some florals but a lot of checks, multiple prints, bright colors etc. She's in the US South, I believe, so the climate might not be that similar, but maybe she might give you some ideas (or I'm totally off-base, which is possible).
http://respecttheshoes.blogspot.com/

rachylou

Veteran

I know this fear well because I have never met a puff sleeve or bow I didn't like, lol. It's not just a matter of dressing too young for me - it's a matter of dressing like a toddler!

For the first dress, I'd try closed black pumps, no platform. It's a serious dress, and I think it calls for formality.

Re. man tastes...sadly, I'm completely ungracious about this. All the men in my life get trained with the verbal rolled up newspaper. They will be teased mercilessly for the love of 'wood' as a colour. Ha!

Maneera

(website)

Veteran

I don't think you can look like mutton dressed as lamb. You're just 34!!!!!

I really like all your outfits. The proportions are bang-on in every outfit, the fit looks good and they're all reasonably current too.

I think you've answered your own question above ---- you just need to find a couple of shoes that are versatile yet current...maybe something strappy so they're more delicate looking than your chunky sandals? My favourites here are #1, 2 & 6. You've got a great figure - show it off!

ETA: Just an idea - try a scarf with #7. There will be too much of black with the black boots! Also, a longer top with rounded hem is what you need to get the 'balance' you seek. (Pic attached). I bought mine at H&M

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Zibbets

Veteran

Aww, I can hear in your posts that you've lost some confidence. Being a stay at home mom can be very challenging. You probably lost some of your cheering squad in the move, so I'm glad you've come here! You have a fabulous figure and a great sense of style. All of these are great outfits. You should wear them with without a doubt in your mind. You look great and certainly no mutton in sight.

I hear you on the chunky shoe. I'm more confident in a delicate sandal too, but when I see more current, heavier sandals on others, I like the effect. Yours are very cute.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, I forgot. I think all your outfits look good. The pants outfits are esp adult with a lot of natural appeal. I do think skirts/dresses are harder because of mental associations. I was watching an episode of Mad Men, where homemaker Betty was wearing this big skirted Swiss dot number. I know this was an adult look back then, but she looked like a three-year old to me. And not to mention, was not the infantilization of women one of the issues of the women's movement that came out of that era?

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I like all of them. I think you look great. I think you are being a little hard on yourself and your figure.

And ditto to whatever age thing you are going through. As I've gotten older I've wished I appreciated more how I looked at earlier ages, and that reminds me to appreciate more how I look now. Because in the future this will be a younger age.

Some of the looks might be a bit dark for summer, but I don't know the norm there.

shedev

Veteran

You are too young to be mutton. I like them all. My favorite is the black skirt and jacket.

Beth Ann

Veteran

No worries about mutton! You look terrific in every photo -- I think you're just ready to explore your own "personal" style, rather than following what you see in In Style, and perhaps gathering a greater understanding of proportion in your outfits will make you happier with them. Mind you, I think you dress beautifully, but you clearly have an idea of some tweaks you'd like to make, and the Forum is a great place to explore.

I love the weighty sandals in your first two pics, but I can see that a more delicate shoe might work even better -- a pointy toe ankle strap would be terrific in your wardrobe, if you've got room in the budget! I love the dress and skirt --- pretty, but adult and ladylike!

In #4: It's easier to do denim on denim with a light and dark item. However, I think swapping out the top for something lighter, or a print, would be fab.

#5 is relaxed, casual and looks terrific on you. Do you have other versions of this outfit? Maybe a plaid shirt? Using this as what we call a FFBO (fast fall-back outfit) -- and repeating the formula so you have multiple versions, might be a great way to boost your casual outfit options.

#6 is your musical festival look! You've styled it in a grown up way: the shorts are not tight, the top is simple and skims your body with nothing revealing, and the bag and booties are flattering and simple. There are a lot of places a 34 year old could wear this look.

#7 Your shape is lovely -- no worries there! What about trying a slighlty longer, more fluid fit top -- perhaps in a lighter color -- maybe a stripe or print.

#8 I love the return of button front A-line skirts.This looks right in terms of flare. I'd play with different tops. Perhaps a button down shirt? a soft pullover sweater?

I've just moved to a new city and am in a major career transition. Change is hard, and takes time. Improving your health through mindful cooking and exploring your style are great ways to be kind to yourself while you ease into your new life! And being confused for the au pair isn't all bad!

Shelly

You look lovely in all of the outfits and I fear you will end up as lamb dressed as mutton if you tone it down anymore.

Be young, be trendy, be comfortable in your clothes but do have some fun!

Real_me

(website)

First three photos are very nice and feminine! For me looks that knee-length skirt makes you look very chic yet appropriate for daily wearing.
Actually all outfits look good on you, but if you are mom of two, you might like to dress a bit more status (not too short skirts or skinny jeans), maybe that's why you have a feeling of lamb dressed as mutton.

Jane

Veteran

Well done with the big changes in your life. Hard work but I'm sure worth it. I lived in Dublin for a tiny bit and I agree the women can be quite smart.

I love no 2 particularly but also the skinny jeans.

I'm not sure about the dress in 1. Some how the black section looks slightly off balance to me.

Jane

Veteran

PS great look too with the shorts - they look good with the light colour of the booties.

Greyscale

Veteran

I think you look wonderful. You're 3 years younger than me, and where I live, all these outfits would be completely stylish for someone my age. And, like someone said, they read as classic and classy, not young. But when I read your comment about moving to Dublin, I realized that might be part of the story. I'm in San Francisco where your style would fit right in, but my brief experiences in cities in the UK and Ireland did show me that there's a... dressier? element to what people wear, especially to go out. I can't quite pinpoint what I mean. I wouldn't fit in there and I like your style better, so just go with it, I say!

For specific outfits:
1. I love the dress. I also love the heavy sandals, but I always go for heavy footwear to balance out more feminine elements of my clothing, and I know that's not everyone's style.
2. Classic yet fresh. Cute.
3. I agree that the denim jacket isn't as great a match here, but no one would blink at this outfit.
4. Again, no one would blink, but I think the fitted silhouette reads as a little less current.
5. This is perfect. You look like a cool, relaxed fashion blogger. Love your hair and glasses.
6. I can see why your husband loves it, though yeah, it does seem a little teeny-bopper. But that's fine!
7, 8. Both would fit right in here in SF, especially the button-front skirt. I'd try a looser lightweight sweater, maybe, if you want to play with more options.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I don't know what mutton is and I'm to lazy to google.

All I see is a very very fashionable young woman who is giving me life especially in the floral skirt and denim jacket.

catgirl

Veteran

You're still lamb! And you look wonderful. These outfits remind me of a much missed forum member, Heather, who had the most amazing skirts. You look like a fresh, vibrant young mom.

LilMrsNomad

You are all very kind!!! Ive been trying to respond all day but both my kids woke up with runny noses and low temps and are taking it in turns crawling all over me whenever I sit down to attempt a response.

Im a relaxed girl who likes comfortable clothing - but Id like to try and sexy it up a little bit - if not for hubby then for myself. I'm definitely going to invest in a pair of strappy sandals/heels and a pair of black pumps. A pullover/light weight sweater over the skirt is also a great idea. I think that might help elongate my mid section and add some shape to my silhouette.

It may sound strange but I swear I had less concerns about my body when I was obese. I certainly wasnt as vain before I lost the weight.

Ps. How's this orange shirt for the blue denim on black denim combo. Please excuse the yoga pants - I was a bit rushed for time this morning. I didn't wear it out of the house with the yoga pants.

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rachylou

Veteran

No really, I got asked out on more dates when I was 25 lbs heavier. What's up with that? Lol.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Ha, ha, ha I'm like I was smaller and did not get asked out very much as a plus size I get asked out all the time. Its a weird thing. Cause I don't like dating. ugh.

Beth Ann

Veteran

Nomad: I love the lighter top. The color peeking out under the jacket is fun and feminine. Did you enjoy wearing the combination?

jenny1963

I think you look amazing!! Enjoy your youthful beautiful self!! Your outfits look great!!

SandyG

Veteran

Just a quick note to relate my young Parisian friend's experience moving to Dublin 5 years ago with a toddler and professor husband. Naturally friendly and a world traveler, she found the moms/parents and playground groups a little slow to warm up to new people. That major career move for her husband had the unintended effect of isolating her in Dublin, away from family and friends, with a very young child. It took her a long time of determined outreach to make a few friends of her own, away from the academic circle of her husband. Please don't feel like you're the only one who's struggled with this

You look great -- don't let circumstances shake your confidence.

LilMrsNomad

Thankyou ladies! You are all doing wonders for my ego. I actually introduced myself to some of the mums at the crèche this morning SandyG. I read your post and realised that I've nothing to lose by making a concerted effort to be friendlier and more approachable.

Also, I went shopping. Again. Didn't buy the black or green dress because I wasn't 100% certain I'd be comfortable wearing them. But I think I'd get some use out of the black one, so I may go back for it in the morning. Think I prefer the white top to the coloured one. What do you ladies think?

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rachylou

Veteran

The white top is smashing. I like all the dresses. I'd wear the black dress with my hair pulled back because it seems a neat and tidy look.

DonnaF

Veteran

The dresses are all lovely on you, but do you have occasions to wear them or are they for your fantasy life?

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