Reverse ageism: Young clothes on old soul - YouLookFab Forum

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Reverse ageism: Young clothes on old soul

Nishaa

Okay, if this sounds incoherent, please bear with me..
I'm in my mid thirties, which in terms of ageing is neither here nor there. I'm and have always liked dressing up. I love clothes, colours, fabrics, textures, accessories, shiny, blingy, the works..
I've also always been an old soul. I love the dressing that skews towards elegance, grace, sophistication.. I like subtle sexy, I like all colours but not together. I like neutrals and love grey and all fifty shades of brown. Yes, beige too! *horror of horrors*
Don't get me wrong, I like formal, I love casual. But I LOVE classic. I like trends, but subtly done. I thrifted a pair of flare jeans, medium blue wash, slightly distressed, high rise, raw hem, to satisfy my trendy flare Jean and wore them thrice in last 7 months. I would wear front back pearl earrings happily. I envision my 60s and can't wait to reach there. I work as a health care professional and I want on most of the days for my clothes to be invisible so that they form a neutral background for my work.
I'm petite and work in an industry where seniority is respected, may be that has influenced my style?
My friends and family, some of them tell me that.... You're too young to wear this and that. You wear clothes that are ageing. Don't wear beige, don't put your hair in bun at work, leave them open. If you don't wear this trends now it'll be too late to wear them in your old age. What if you don't wear anything trendy now and later in your 70s be the all trend wearing eccentric old lady....
I say what's wrong with an eccentric old lady?!!
Am I doing it wrong? Should I focus more on age appropriate clothes, and what the hell does that even mean?
Have you faced similar or reverse problem? Any ideas?

General

15 replies

Latest reply was from Nishaa

Runs With Scissors

Veteran

To me your choices sound refined, not "old lady". (And what does that even mean?) You say you are in your 30s: I think for many this is a time when they find their own style and begin to hone it, rather than (exclusively) following trends. Maybe your friends aren't there yet, see that you're on a different path, and don't know how to feel about it.

It could be that you're choosing things that you hope will force people to see you as you view yourself. I've had petite friends who preferred more tailored and formal styles as a means to fend off being called "cute". Or maybe this is just what you find aesthetically appealing?

One thing that might help your friends is to have a label (other than the clearly derogatory "old lady") to categorize your style. Our brains are driven by categorization, after all. On YLF, some choose style terms to help guide their wardrobe building, but you could use them to help your friends understand your choices better. Based on your description, I wonder if some combination of terms like "minimalist" "classic" "vintage", or the like could fit.

Sure, one way to be perceived as stylish is to follow trends thoughtfully. But another is having a well-articulated personal style. I'm thinking of Anna Wintour with her glasses, Betsy Johnson's whimsical look, etc. And as for missing the opportunity to wear trends? It seems that trend half-lives are getting shorter and shorter, so I suspect you'll get another chance. Or perhaps you'll simply create the opportunity when you are ready!

Staysfit

Veteran

Really? What health care field favors age? I never thought about it before but I guess that may be true in my field to a certain extent because with age you gain clinical experience and that has more value than anything you can learn in a book or during your training, but you can also become outdated. More important is ones knowledge base and keeping up, etc. You can have that at any stage in your career depending on your background. I have never dressed to look older than my age. I dress in what makes me feel happy, what I like, what makes me feel confident, comfortable, and in what I hope will allow people to relate well to me when I work with them.

I think you should feel free to express your style in whatever way you wish and enjoy your love for elegance, and all things classic. I'm sure this makes you stand out in a special and unique way. If you feel good and confident in what you are wearing you will carry yourself that way and it will show in your work. Don't listen to what anyone else says. When you are confident in a health field, people will relate well to you as long as you have compassion and are genuine.

dakotacheryl

Veteran

Express yourself, make yourself happy !!

Helen11

Veteran

Plenty of young female doctors complain they are not taken seriously.
Dressing in a very classic or conservative style is one way to try to combat that.

I absolutely do not know what 'age appropriate clothing' is! However, I do think 'grace, elegance and sophistication' can be found in stylish women of any age.

Staysfit gives very wise advice in her second paragraph. Rather than me rambling on, I'd like to echo her words there : )

Traci

Veteran

For some people, looking older is the worst thing they can imagine, and they like to impose that value on other people too. It's their issue, not yours.

Anonymous

I think some people view non-trendy dressing as dressing older. Classic clothing is a non-trendy way to dress that's suitable for all ages--at least, that's the way I see it. Some trendy outfits can look unprofessional, which is why dress codes were created. Even classics can look dated, though, so it's important to keep your look current/updated.

Liz

Veteran

It sounds like you DO have part of you that enjoys trends and color and shine -- you love all clothes and all colors, shiny, blingy, texture, the works, and you bought trendy jeans.

My advice would be to make sure that, when it's appropriate, you satisfy your love for shiny and blingy and color, so that you get to enjoy that side of who you are as well. (In other words, you don't have to dress like a professional when you're not at work.)

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I faced this in my 20s. I preferred a modest modern classic style with vintage twists, and at the time, my friends were all dressing like punk rockers. I did look a little odd next to them, but then again, I felt more like myself.

People did tell me sometimes to dress more youthfully. I did wear jeans, but that was about it.

Ironically enough, I probably dress more trendily now and feel more comfortable doing so, in my 50s! But still very much within a modern classic framework.

I think that word "modern" is key. Subtle updates to classic items make them current rather than dated and "ageing." Add a bit of your bling. Show a sense of humour so you don't look staid. But wear what makes you feel 100% fab.

Nishaa

So much wisdom here..

Runs with scissors.. I love your username by the way.
Yes, I've refined my choices in 30s, and always hated being called cute.. So may be like I said it influenced my choices or rather directed me towards more formal side. But ever since I reached there I liked that place and stayed there sort of. And that has become my personal style. Comfortable, chic, classic, with contemporary elements.

Staysfit, clinical experience it is. And now it may not matter but a decade back it drove my choices. And you are right, I do feel better when I'm wearing a beige, so to say. (I remember having worn a pink sheer neckline dress and being so uncomfortable with it that I went and changed it halfway.. And trust me, for many it would have worked.)

Helen, you hit bulls eye about female doctors.

Traci and BC, very very true.

Liz, yes, I love trends, and the more classic and subtle ones stay with me longer. I have baby boot cuts and straight pants/jeans since last 8 years. I wasn't so sure about flares so got them secondhand.

kkards

Veteran

i thought a bit about how to answer you…and bear with me, because i'm not sure i will express it well….
I say what's wrong with an eccentric old lady?!!
there is nothing wrong with dressing as an eccentric old lady, as long as its not holding you back from or inhibiting you from getting the most from your life…for example in meeting people (i.e. dating) or at work (i.e. being deemed as out of touch).

Nishaa

Suz, very true, most of the tops I've bought lately are slightly oversized, boxy or with drape as opposed to previous tighter styles. So subtle changes for contemporary twists are welcome.

Kkards, married so not dating *screws nose in mock disappointment*.
And I wouldn't say I'm out of touch since I'm regular here.

kkards

Veteran

nishaa…great, ok then, dress in a way that makes you happy.

Mochi

Veteran

(Am I the only one who is intrigued with images of how Nishaa dresses? Your descriptions are so evocative and intriguing. I see you as having an amazing sense of style, hinging on all these subtle, glamorous details.)

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I definitely have had this issue in the past, particularly in the 25-30 range when I was dressing in a very no-nonsense classic way for work, and to a certain extent defying environmental norms because I wasn't super casual like everyone else. Sometimes people think you're out of touch or unaware of what's going on in the world because of how you dress. There are a lot of people who expect younger adults to, if they pay attention to clothes, only dress in a trendy way or in a niche subculture way (punk, etc.) but not in a vintage or classic way.

I do think the ridiculous fears our culture has of aging play into this. All the cosmetics and treatments and styles are all about looking younger. God forbid you look older, or just look your age. It's tedious.

Nishaa

Oooo.. I love compliments, thank you Mochi.
It's not so glamourous IRL.. I probably write better than I dress.
Most of the time, at work it's tried and tested uniform of pastels which I consider frumpy myself. So I'm trying to move towards interesting separates. My winter wardrobe is much better though it's only 4 months.

Laura, you are reading my mind..