I woke up and thought of you this morning, Maya, hoping you're feeling better.
I think it helps simply to know that a panic attack is what you were experiencing. When I thought I was having a heart attack, continuing on that mental path would have just made the situation worse. I literally thought they were going to have to put me in the ICU next to my mom! One of the nurses sat me down, gave me some juice, and told me what was going on, and I knew then that I wasn't going to die right then and there.
Just for a little background...This happened on what I must say was the worst day of my life. My mom was clearly not getting better, she was on life support and still had some awareness but couldn't communicate very well. It was then that I realized she was struggling to say goodbye. It was the only day I was there alone -- my sister had to return home to take care of something, and my husband was out of town on business. It was the perfect storm of stress, and I broke down.
It sounds like your experience is also being triggered by something very difficult, and you feel alone in handling it. I think talking with a therapist or counselor will be very helpful, and in my experience it's worth the money. I've gone through a couple of periods in my life when I found therapy to be enormously valuable.
Big hugs!