Maya, I SO know where you're coming from, and I sympathize. I've been there too. My anxiety attacks were definitely triggered by something (or rather a list of things). Panic attacks don't necessarily come out of the clear blue sky, but sometimes they feel like they do. If you tend toward anxiety when you're stressed (as I do), the various stresses all pile up until suddenly you have an episode of heart racing/head pounding/difficulty breathing. Panic attack symptoms can vary between people, too. For me, four months after my second child was born, I showed up sobbing at the doctor's office with a racing heart and abdominal cramps so bad I couldn't stand up straight. I thought I MUST have an ulcer. Turns out I was having an attack of anxiety. I had to answer a whole pile of questions and my doctor gently suggested that I might have postnatal anxiety, which is one way that postnatal depression can manifest itself.
Anyway, my point is, you need to get yourself to the doctor and sort this out. It may mean counseling and a course of antidepressants. Trust your doctor. Find a good counselor. Taking up yoga or something that helps calm the mind may help too, or at least can't hurt. The main thing is, feeling isolated will only worsen the anxiety. Everyone has stress, and sometimes things happen in our lives that cause a LOT of stress, and if your body is storing the tension and doesn't have an outlet for it, panic attacks can easily happen. We've got complicated brains, but we're still animals. When a gazelle gets attacked by a lion and manages to escape, it can get up and shake it off. Humans have trouble doing that, because we can think things through, go through all the "what ifs", and psyche ourselves out. When that happens, there's no shame in getting outside help.
In the short term, it may be helpful to find someone to talk to. If you truly cannot think of any friend or family member you can talk to about this, then like Jonesy and DebbieK say, call a hotline.
I wish you all the best. Sorry for the little novel I just wrote, but I feel it's important. Anxiety is so, so common, and is something that certainly can be overcome!
