I know many of you commute via bicycle, so this is not directed at *everyone* on a bike. But geez, I don't have that many pet peeves, but two things that make me rage with the fire of a thousand suns are rude service and cyclists. in. Los. Angeles.
Just for the record, if you are insterested in incurring rage and ill will wherever you go, please do the following:
- Take up an entire lane of traffic on a street that only *has* one lane. During rush hour.
- Bike on the wrong side of the road so that you come flying at people with little warning - especially when you round a corner and appear on top of someone turning right.
- Cut off cars in the left turn lane, again during rush hour, and then go through the turn as slowly as possible, fiddling with your handlebars and gears the whole way, so that only one car may make the turn in time and all the others have to wait an extra ten minutes to go thirty feet.
- Slow or stop in front of vital driveways and areas, like those to gas stations, post offices, metered parking spots, the emergency room...
- Cut across four lanes, without signaling, and without checking for oncoming traffic.
- Ride your black bike in a black hoodie and black jeans without any lights or reflectors in the middle of the night.
- Make sure to speed up when riding on the sidewalk with your girlfriend on the handlebars, so that you can cut in front of that car that's been waiting to turn for five minutes (instead of going behind, or pausing for a second so the car can go on its merry way). If you don't beat this car to the punch, you will look like such an unmanly fool!
- Ride in groups, but never in single file. Make sure to take up as many lanes as possible, so that you may chitchat and ride even slower while the road piles up behind you.
- Above all, when cars try to go around you, pass you, or otherwise circumvent the delay you're causing, scream and swear like it's bloody murder. You own the road, and how dare anyone else try to use it!
>:0
Ok. I think I'm done and can move on with my day now that I let that out... but dude, seriously, in any vehicle, if you think you deserve consideration on the road, be considerate yourself.
