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Near miss and mindful spending

abc

Veteran

Alana's thread http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....m-i-anyway
highlighted a gorgeous Land's End wool coat. I was about to get trigger happy and order it in the gorgous cranberry color when I actually stopped to think - DO I NEED IT?

This is ground breaking for me. Yeah, yeah, I see you shaking your head, but it's true.

I've always been a shopping opportunist - a "let's see what floats my boat today" kind of shopper. Never with a plan. Never thinking ahead. Never planning (I suppose bc I do SO much planning in every other aspect of my life?!)

Anyway - before I actually let myself click "BUY" I thought about it, and at the end of the season last year I bought a Kenneth Cole wool coat. Given my climate, I don't really NEED two wool coats. It's gorgeous, a different cut, and a different color, but...I don't need it. That's the truth.

I can better spend those dollars on a light- or mid-weight jacket, which I know I will get more wear out of. My climate is quite mild so I think one wool coat will be enough for me. When it isn't, THEN I can look for another to add. Not just when I find one that clicks my "pretty" button.

Just had to share this big milestone for me

Have any of you guys gone through this? I feel like a baby moving into toddlerhood...it is going to take a long time to get over my impulsive shopping habits, but this is a good step.

I'd also like to publicly announce that SO FAR I have managed to stay away from NAS. Stay away isn't quite the right phrase - avoid clicking "buy" is more accurate. I have a shopping cart full, but again, I'm trying to analyze needs, wardrobe holes, etc - instead of just putting pretty little things into the cart and clicking "buy".

I'm finding the analysis is harder - but I am enjoying wearing my things instead of just adding, adding, adding to my closet. I'm actually feeling some angst about how things will work with existing pieces - a sure sign of progress.

I'm rambling. Anyway, please weigh in on where you are on your journey if you're anything like me.

PS A shout-out to Mo and her threads which have really made me stop and think about my habits.

Shopping

24 replies

Latest reply was from Jenny H

JAileen

Veteran

Congratulations on your epiphany! You described me to a T. No plan, just bouncing around collecting things as I see them. I hope I can evolve as you have.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

It's ALWAYS a good idea to address your needs as you add to your wardrobe. I can't think of a better wardrobe plan. xo

abc

Veteran

JAileen, thanks. I do feel like I've made some progress the last few months. It's slow going, but any progress is good. Thanks for your support.

Angie, you are so right. It's much harder planning ahead but I feel the rewards coming soon in the form of a much better functioning wardrobe.

Joy

Veteran

It is hard to resist goodies that you really like but don't need. Trying to practice the one in- one out policy helps me because it means that I have to give up something. It also helps to think of what I already have and like that plays that role and about how many times it may get worn per season. You are wise to think of the type of coats you will wear the most.

abc

Veteran

Joy, I should try the one-in-one-out rule. Problem (or justification, historically speaking) has been that I've been in a constant rebuilding status that I've been all about the IN. Long story short, a relocation to a different climate, a job change, lifestyle changes and body changes have all contributed to my wardrobe being in a constant state of flux in the past 3 years. I'm finally to the point (hopefully) that I can practice more mindful spending, so it is about time I consider the one-in-one-out principle. I am out of town for a few more weeks with no access to my closet, but I think a review is in order when I get home to REALLY see what shape I'm in and if I can adopt the principle. Thanks for the reminder.

E

Veteran

Go ABC! Definitely a big milestone & one to celebrate. I'm a combination of plan & impulse, myself. But I've had to stop myself buying any more cold weather clothes 'in preparation' for my move north. After all, it's not definite yet, and there are thrift stores & woolens up there too. It had become an excuse to buy my favourite items that won't get much wear here in Texas!

Mona

Veteran

You are on the right track! I used to be an impulsive buyer and never happy with my clothes. Now, thanks to YLF, I plan ahead and am far more content with my wardrobe. I only buy good quality items that I really need. No wonder, these pieces get worn over and over again as they were bought according to the plan.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

Great job! I am all for mindful shopping - most of the time. There are so many beautiful clothes and accessories available that often it is hard to resist the temptation. Like Joy I find "one in one out" policy really helpful to keep the wardrobe size in check and making sure everything I own gets worn on a regular basis.

Now I live in climate where multiple wool coats are useful but I also have a limit how many of them I really need. I have 3 now - one long and 2 above the knee - and find that I don't really need more of them. On the other hand I have just one puffer coat and my below freezing winter days add to more than 3 months. This is what my focus is this year - to add a new puffer because I really get bored to wear a single coat every day for months!

Alana in Canada

(website)

Veteran

Hooray for your epiphany! I am sorry to be the source of your temptation--but I suppose it could be anyone, here, really, lol. I am so glad you took a moment to think about it. This is a true wardrobe hole for me: so it makes sense.

That's not to say I didn't get a little trigger happy when adding to my order, however. (Blushing.)

abc

Veteran

Oh Alana, no apologies needed! I didn't mean to single you out like that - but it was your thread and gorgeous coat (and those Pikolinos boots that STILL have me yearning).... I have to watch because I get caught up in what other YLFers are buying and wearing. I just have to be conscious of it (I am now much more than before). Sometimes it's worth it (VC tube skirts) and other times, not so much. I'm learning and that's what counts. So please, don't feel bad at all.

E, I am trying to have more balance. I won't ever be a 100% wardrobe planner, that would take the fun out of it. Mindful is the word I'm focusing on.

Mona, I can't wait for the day I can write from the position you're in now. I have been buying smarter and I DO feel different in those clothes. A strange but nice feeling. Much higher happiness factor with the well-thought out purchases (doesn't help they were EF pieces, chuckle).

Sveta, sounds like you have thought out your coat purchase(s). I would have variety if I lived in your climate, too. We'll see if I need a second wool coat, doubtful, but maybe if I end up traveling to a colder climate a lot this winter (TBD based on work assignments). If I need one I know who to ask for advice

Astrid

Veteran

I just returned the exact same coat in purple (http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....le-peacoat). I was also seduced by the price and the fact that my grey peacoat (this peacoat in a bigger size) is too big now. But while the purple was better, it did still have the same fit issues (due to cut) and I decided to follow PPP. I can always wear the grey one until something better comes along, it doesn't look bad. And I might want to have a different style for a change anyway. But it was a near thing.

abc

Veteran

Astrid, that makes me feel better. Less FOMO, I suppose. I'm a pear/hourglass so I will keep telling myself it wouldn't have fit me anyway, based on your need to return

Power to the PPP !!!!!!!!!!!!

Astrid

Veteran

Glad you don't feel bad about it.

For me as a pear with a small bust this coat has slightly too wide shoulders, too much room on top and around the waist. And my prominent behind would have welcomed a bit more room in the smaller size. The cut is not bad, but it could be better.

Gigi

Veteran

Yay! Hopefully this change in your shopping habits will lead to better purchases that you love even more!

I used to tend toward the opposite extreme: no buying anything ever, unless it was a dire, dire need. Ha ha. Well, I got over that, and I did start buying a lot of stuff, but I had to build a wardrobe from scratch. Now that I have a good-sized wardrobe, I do have to be careful, like you, to buy what won't duplicate another item's role in the closet! When I'm tempted to buy something, I do exactly what you have done: ask myself if I really have enough occasions to wear the item or whether something else I have is doing the job fine already.

One of my shopping hang-ups is heels—I buy too many. But when I realized that my climate is deathly cold about four months of the year, and "regular cold" another four months of the year, that doesn't leave much time for heels! So now when I am tempted to buy another pair, I tell myself that I won't have enough occasions to wear them due to my climate and that it would be better to spend the money on booties or boots instead. It's a good feeling to be able to pinpoint what will be most practical in your closet, because I think we always get the most joy out of items that we can wear a lot.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Laughing along with Gigi -- I was just like her -- and now look at the monster YLF has awakened!!

In all seriousness, though, YLF has definitely taught me to be a much more mindful shopper and a planner. I never did this before. I either didn't buy at all, or I bought on sale whatever appealed to me from the dregs that were available. The only thing I consistently did right was pick reasonably good colours.

Now, I still fill up my shopping cart, but I don't press "buy" until I can answer a few questions:

WHY do I want it? What closet hole will it fill or what about it appeals to me?

HOW will I actually wear it? I need to come up with at least one way to style it, and probably more, depending on the type of item it is. (I don't expect I'll style my special occasion dresses in all kinds of ways.)

WHERE and WHEN will I wear it? (In what capsule or capsules does it belong?)

DOES IT DUPLICATE things I already have, in an unnecessary way? (Some duplicates are good, as we've often said here.)

WHAT CAN'T I HAVE if I have this? Sometimes this might mean "one in one out," but depending on budget it might also mean what will I have to forego at all this season if I buy this item?

Even after I get it, I examine fit, and function, and try to make some outfits. It has to pass some rigorous tests or I return it.

And even then, guess what? I make mistakes!

I guess we all do. And that's okay. Sometimes last year's mistakes turn into this year's workhorses!

Glad you are gaining more control over your purchasing!!

abc

Veteran

Gigi, I like your thought process. Thanks for sharing.

Suz, you made me a checklist, bless your heart!! I'm not kidding. This is great. I'm working on it but I'm not there yet. This will help me move - perhaps - into kindergarten! Lol

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I was definitely an opportunistic shopper in the past. Either because of budget limitations or fit issues... I had to jump when I saw things. This calendar year I've been sticking to a monthly budget, or at least trying to. My motivation wasn't just financial; I wanted to figure out a more methodical method of shopping and frankly do less of it less often. I'm still working on the second part but it has helped force me to be more thoughtful.

Last night I couldn't sleep and I was trying to talk myself into a purchase at Neiman Marcus Last Call, so i pulled out my budget text file - it's not a spreadsheet or anything, just a list of what I've bought, a running total, and a wish list. It made me realize that not only do I not have room for anything more this month, I need to return some of my on the fence NAS items. None of these things are HEWIs, just things that might be good to have.

Anyway, I'm talking about myself too much but I just wanted to say that I know that it's hard sometimes and I appreciate hearing about other people's struggles to stick to their guns about how much they buy.

abc

Veteran

Laura, feel free to talk about yourself as much as you'd like. We are all on ylf together and sharing is part of it.

gardenchick

Veteran

Yup, hear you!

For me, a good next step would be to figure out what my clothes budget is. And then, go from there.

"Want" and "need" are confusing--I'll unquestionably survive with what I currently own, but will look a bit more stylish (and up that happiness factor) if/when I refresh some things. So what does that actually mean--do I need these items?

MsMaven

Veteran

Yes, I've gone through the same thing. I live in the SF Bay area. At least once a year, at Christmas or Thanksgiving, I go to Chicago to spend holidays with my son and his family.

It's so cold in Chicago compared to CA. I constantly fight the urge to buy another cold winter coat, more boots, more stuff. I have a nice puffer coat (bought at NAS 2-3 years ago,) I have some boots that will get me from driveway or parking lot to house or to restaurant, but still I look at heavy winter coats and boots and think about buying stuff for 4-5 days in Chicago.

I can relate to your post. Do I really need more cardigans? In theory I understand that quality over quantity is a wise course to follow, but . . .
Much to think about on this thread.

Jen W

I was tempted by the coat as well. Even though my size was unavailable! I'm recovering from years of buying as Suz described, only what was on deep discount and available, "the dregs". Its a slow process for me, but these are big wins. Bravo for realizing the coat wasn't for you!

AJ

Veteran

Yay for thinking that purchase through! You are not alone in this process.

I'm still learning how to shop with a plan. I've always stuck to my monthly budget, but I was always using it each month to buy whatever tickled my fancy and not trying to make sure the item played nice in my wardrobe. It was only in the last year that I could actually end a month without using up my budget and some months I didn't buy a thing.

Now I try to keep a mental list of things I want to replace or items to fill a wardrobe hole. I'm still a sucker for items that catch my eye, but I make sure to follow PPP and more often than not, I can put that spontaneous want back on the shelf.

Louise

Veteran

Good on you x I've been a heart over head shopper for years and more by luck than judgement I've ended up mostly with stuff that works. However this year I've suddenly started to keep a list of things I want for next summer and working out in my head what other things a potential new purchase will go with, it's quite a revelation! X

Jenny H

Yay! Love seeing this. While I love YLF, sometimes I think it is a bad influence on me. I have lots of priorities for my money and logging on here can tempt me to spend more of it on clothes than I can if I want to meet my other goals. I like seeing posts like this to remind me that it is ok to be mindful.