My journey to gray--long with lessons

Others have been brave enough so here I go.

Two lessons: 1-I am bitterly sorry I started coloring my hair when I did. I wish I had consulted with my sisters before I started. Another reason I won't go into.

2-I wish I hadn't taken hairdresser's advice to do blonde highlighting. I wish that once I saw the results I just bit the bullet and had it mostly chopped off.

I'm going to show you some photos of me just a few months before I fell into the trap of "coloring the gray." I was 55 and I thought it was time and fell for propaganda. I had a few gray hairs then, but nothing noticeable unless you looked closely.

All went well for a few years, but over time my hair got blonder. I did do some blonde highlights once, but then I noticed that my own colored hair looked highlighted, so I stopped. I kept asking my hairdresser if it was time. She always said not yet. One day I brought in some photos of me with my original color and she was shocked. She tried to get it back but couldn't. I guess I would take some heavier duty dye.

So just over 2 years ago, certain that I'd have Helen Mirren hair, I started the grow out with a new hairdresser. She advised blonde highlights but I ended up even blonder and I hated it. My sisters and I got together and I found out that neither one colored their hair. They were both blue-eyed blondes and their hair only got darker and less blonde. I've examined both on different occasions and I'm sure they aren't lying. So I had some lowlights put in but I didn't like the result.

Last May I had the last of the light blonde highlights. Six months grow out.

I had a hard time finding decent photos of my hair just before I started. My original color had a lot of reddish tones--I could only find one outdoor photo.

So three photos of original.

One from last May with 4 month darling. I like this because shows my real hair texture. Fine and straight.

One from earlier this year.

Two current--19 years later. This should be about 3" natural hair on top.

In a couple of months I'm going to seriously deal the the change in color palette. I had a hard time with the blonde.

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8 years ago

merwoman

Veteran

Thank you for sharing this ms maven. It's a question I am pondering and I appreciate hearing about your experience. Currently your hair is cut beautifully and looks very healthy. What colour changes are you planning?

Elizabeth P

Your hair is going to be lovely. Thanks for sharing your journey, I always like to hear how others have gone through the process.

Jaime

(website)

Thanks for sharing. Your hair looks great now and I hope you find your new colors more fun - I have a feeling you will!

Beth Ann

The grey and blonde are much more blended now --- I think you're going to end up with a pretty grey. Patience pays off!

Cerinda

Those are really pretty colors! Love your natural color. Have fun with the palette shift.

catgirl

I love your current grey. Do you use the purple toning shampoo? I think it's meant to tone down brassiness in blonde and grey hair. It has kept my greys almost metallic silver which I love.

jenanded

It looks really pretty! I too swear by the purple shampoo. I started darker than you and go for icy white now with the shampoo. Your hair is v pretty and healthy.

Staysfit

Your natural color looks gorgeous. It's interesting, because much of your experience echoes mine. I went through many years of coloring though because my hair started to turn grey in my mid thirties, and I tried almost every color in existence, never happy with anything. My stylist kept telling me it wasn't time to stop coloring my hair. "Too soon!" She repeated at each hair cut, with her rationale being that the back of my head was still looking darker than the front. I went with my instincts and let my hair grow out and have been very happy. In fact yesterday, my friend told me I look younger with my hair grey than I did with it colored!

Summer

Your grey is looking lovely, especially with that beautiful cut. Sorry you've had a struggle to get get there, but your patience has paid off.
Enjoy playing with your new colour palette.

Anonymous

Your hair looks super, Ms Maven. I really like how it is evolving. It's a similar look and texture to mine (though I started going grey in my 20s, so most of my adult life was spent as a blonde, which made my change to grey less dramatic). I look forward to hearing about and learning from your colour palette evolution as I'm struggling with the same issues.

MsMaven

Thanks for all your positive comments. One of the reasons I finally gave up coloring was that my hair was getting dry and I was constantly fighting snarls and tangles. It is much better texture now.

Una and jenanded I haven't yet used the purple shampoo. I shop for it but decided I'd better get some input on brands. Any one have suggestions for fine hair?

I do feel a lot better having contrast between skin and hair again.

Bonnie

Your hair looks really good - you're lucky that it is growing out evenly.

Claudia

Really lovely, thanks for sharing.

TraceyLiz65

A great lesson, thanks for sharing it. Your current shade is great, hope you can finally settle into something you love.

Scarlet

It looks like it is growing out very well now. This was an interesting read. I am just getting my first grays, although I think they are white rather than gray. My natural color is similar to what yours was, although a bit lighter, so I was getting some blonde highlights so that any grays don't stand out as much. It seems to me now my natural color is growing much darker than it ever was. Funny how that can change over time. Anyway, it is all definitely a topic on my mind.

That must be your little granddaughter! I may have to cross my fingers for one too someday. I also have two boys.

Thirkellgirl

Ms.Maven, I have used John Frieda's purple shampoos intended to tone down brassiness in blondes. I've found them to be very gentle, and the other few purple shampoos I've tried have been a little drying. I had a good experience last week in the dressing room at J.Jill. I was looking at myself in a three-way mirror, trying to decide if a cranberry shirt was the right color with my increasingly-lighter (because of the grey) hair, and a beautiful young woman stopped to compliment me on how it looked. I said "I have a hard time trying to figure out my new colors now that my hair is getting greyer" and she said "you're so lucky that yours is coming in so white! It really is a beautiful color!" That one compliment kept me going for days. I need to update my picture here, it's much whiter than it was when that was taken.

Angie

Fashion Stylist

This was a great read and I applaud your hair journey. Your bob looks good.

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