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Meeting His Parents (Help!)

Erica

Hi everyone!

I've been seeing this very sweet boy for a month or so now, and today I'm going to meet his parents for dinner at their house, with his younger sister and their dog (therefore the jeans and not a dress or heels). Are these appropriate? The white shirt is more conservative, but is it too fussy? Ack!

Also, do you have any advice for the dinner itself? I've never done this before, and I would like to make the best impression I can!

Thanks everyone!

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Dressing

21 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

bj1111

Veteran

I like the blue sweater. I also prefer the tshirt fit over the white shirt, but the shirt is dressier.

Do you have a silky tee?

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, I'd be happy if either of my boys had brought you home; that smile would win me over no matter how you were dressed!

OK, speaking from the "mother-of-the-guy" perspective, I'd give a slight nod to the white shirt combinations. The shirt has a bit more of "I'm making an effort to dress nicely" vibe which immediately gains you extra points, but without making you look too precious for a family dinner.

As for making a good impression, offering to help his mother with the meal and/or the cleanup is a winning move; most times, your offer will be refused, but you'll have gained even more points by at least offering. And, believe it or not, his parents might be a bit anxious as well, so just relax, smile, and go with the flow.

Kristin SF

Veteran

Agree with Gaylene 100%, both on the white shirt outfit (looks like more effort was put into dressing up) and the offering to help -- especially with clearing the table and cleanup!

Oh - and play with the dog if you like dogs. I always appreciate it when a guest notices and is genuinely nice to my own pets.

Good luck and have fun!

ETA: Typically I prefer jewel colors but I'm liking the color of pic 1 on you. Just my 2 cents.

kellygirl

Veteran

I prefer 1 because it looks a little dressier but still casual and approachable. I like the tee shirt but the white blouse looks reads a little more dressed up--to me at least. You are so cute and have such a nice smile that you are going to be well-received regardless

I agree with the offering to help (which will probably be declined.) I think it's always nice to arrive with something small--a bag of lemons from the garden, a bottle of wine, treat for the dog (designer biscuit) or something small that you baked. It makes a nice first impression. Just be yourself and enjoy!

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

If it helps, just think of it as a chance to meet some new and interesting people, who are connected to someone you already like.

Ask the boy if you can bring some flowers for the dinner table, or a small box of chocolates. If it's sit-down in the kitchen and eat chicken out of red and white bucket, maybe not, but generally a hostess gift is never out of line.

If you can, get them talking about him, themselves or him and themselves. But it's only been a month, so you can waffle on the big picture of your future with him and them. You don't need to get them to drag out the family albums just yet. The other thing is to observe how his dad treats his mom. Whether he wants to be like dad or his complete opposite, that's the boy's reference point and part of what he will bring to your relationship.

What an adventure! I prefer #1, but #3 is nice too.

Erica

bj1111- I don't unfortunately, but that would be perfect! Something to look for!

Gaylenne- You're too kind! I'm going to wear the white shirt and am certainly going to follow the rest your advice! Thank you

Kristin- Great idea! I do the same, although I hadn't realized it until now--however it's much harder for guests to bond with my persnickety cats Thanks!

Erica

Kelly-- Oh heavens, I almost forgot a gift. Thank you for reminding me! Also #1 it is, definitively. Thanks!

Ann-- Thank you for your advice! I'm much less stressed, and I'm really looking forward to it now. I never would have thought to see how his father treats his mother--and he wants to be just like his dad, so that's definitely something to look for! Thanks again

Glory

Veteran

Enjoy your evening! I think all of these are fine but my nod goes to #1. I agree with a small gift for the hostess as well - it doesn't need to be huge. A potted plant, wine, cookies etc.

Gaylene

Veteran

Ooh, I just remembered. If you are really interested in this boy, send his mother a simple thank-you note a few days later. She'll be putty in your hands for the duration of your relationship. I speak from experience here; my DIL is an amazing woman and I make a point of frequently reminding my son how lucky he was to have found her! That simple "Thank you so much for the lovely dinner. I really enjoyed getting to know you and the rest of xxxx's family." sealed the deal for me!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I prefer #1 too - and if they're asian too, sometimes wine is inappropriate; I suggest chocolate. Everyone likes chocolate ... right?

You're flippin' adorable and I'm sure he's more nervous than you - you ahve nothing to worry about! Just go out there and have fun!

K. Period.

Veteran

Love 1 or 3. They both look fantastic. I agree that the dressier top is both casual and dressed up enough to show that you made an effort. Lovely! They are going to adore you.

Sona

Veteran

sweater yes. jeans yes. button down shirt in your closet perhaps? also short tunic+jeans might be weather and occasion appropriate if you have one in your closet.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Your smile will certainly win them over! And I like outfit #1. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

Parsley

Veteran

#1 looks great- I'd be thrilled if my son brought you to dinner!
Have a nice time!

Susie

Veteran

You've gotten perfect advice and you will surely create a lovely impression; Go and have a fun evening!

rute

Veteran

My vote goês for 1!!! Gorgeous!

Erica

Glory- Thanks for your advice!

Gaylene- I definitely will, thank you! That is so sweet about your DIL too Can I message you whenever I have a freakout? You give wonderful advice!

Lyn- Haha I got them a box Ferrero Rochers, actually! Is it just my family that loves these things or is it an Asian thing?

K- Thank you! I think it'll be #1, if it stays cool enough!

Sona- I do, but it's quite business-y. And I may just sweat through it at this rate! I went to the store and had to turn my AC on high...although that may be the southern heat and how much I hate driving D:

Suz- Thanks! I definitely will!

Parsely- haha thank you!

Susie- Thank you, I'll try!

Rute- #1 it is! Thanks!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I LOVE FERRO ROCHER!!!!

rachylou

Veteran

Lol. Ferrero Rocher is perfect if we're talking Chinese people here. But I see they have a dog, so they can't be *too* Chinese. I like the shirt from #1 because it's a little dressier and the blue sweater, because blue is the colour of stability. You'll want to show your sensible and practical side, and definitely offer to help/pitch in in some way. If they are Chinese-Chinese, you'll want to consider how status oriented they are and how dragon lady the mom is and how controlling the father is and how competitive with you they'll be. Then, never forget it's the boy you'd be having to marry. That's most important. You won't all have to live together for awhile.

RUN if the mother makes rag dolls and her whole house is in big pink cabbage roses.

Erica

Lyn- ME TOO! Thank goodness I could give them to her or else I would have eaten that whole box in one sitting.

Rachylou- Your comment about their dog made me crack up! They're actually white--although your advice still certainly stands. I'll be on the lookout for pink cabbage roses and rag dolls!

Everyone--They're a wonderful family and made me feel right at home the second I stepped inside. We even played pool! Although I'm hilariously bad at it, it was lots of fun. She was so excited for the Rochers and let me help a little bit. Thank you all so much for your advice! Hope you had a wonderful day!

rachylou

Veteran

Whew! Glad to hear that. Btw, I definitely second Gaylene's suggestion re. the thank you note... now that we know there are no looming rag dolls and cabbage roses. In which case, remember, you just run screaming.