Happy Birthday!
NO. You aren't snooty, or high-handed, or over-dressed or intolerant. I am with you 100% on this - people should dress to celebrate these little moments in life. But since I don't live anyone else's day-to-day life, I don't know where the woman sitting at the nearby table in the restaurant has just come from, or what activity she will be doing thirty minutes after she finishes dinner.
Something occurred to me not too long ago, as I was considering/lamenting that people used to dress up more - and the thoughts were twofold:
First, I think there is a tendency to look back and believe that all women dressed like they were society, or film stars. The 'work' attire of a society lady or film star requires a different level of dress-up. My grandmother and great-grandmother gardened, canned homemade jams, did a lot of baking, did a lot of their own home maintenance. They dressed fairly casually on a day-to-day basis. Unless it was a very special event, like a wedding or a concert, their 'dress-up' was smart casual, usually with Ferragamo-style sensible shoes and sundresses (in Florida), or bermuda shorts and a pretty blouse.
Second, the role of 'acceptable' things that women do in our society has expanded so much, even from when I was a kid in the 70's and 80's. The women I see around me in 2014 hammer, saw, paint, build theatrical sets, do electrical work, cut open patients on a surgery table, run for office, homeschool, get in the mud on the playground and play with their kids, break horses, handle acquisitions and mergers. It isn't as much of a man's world as it used to be, and we are dressing to reflect that
But I think it is great that you 'bothered'. I always 'bother' to dress up, and I love it. It makes me feel special, and happy. More than that, when we dress up for someone else's occasion - birthday, their performance, wedding... I think it adds a little measure of happiness to the entire proceeding.
I'm not sure if this answered anything, or if I'm just rambling