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Help: I keep shopping but never feel finished...

shiny

Veteran

I will say I feel more "finished" lately than I did a few months back, when I needed everything and anything, since I put myself on major shopping restriction due to income uncertainty, etc...

But something is going on here and I couldn't quite place my finger on my dissatisfaction and feeling of incompleteness. So I decided to plot it all out on a PPT slide, my whole "wear now" wardrobe, to be able to better visualize where there may be gaps....

Note, this does not include a lot of basic stuff like black pencil skirt, black cardigans, cream cardigans, black blazers, etc; nor does it include scarves (I have a ton) or dresses (I'm set there!!) or clutches (I have a lot of those too) or silk shells in bright colors like pink and red.

Please help me see what I can't see, but "feel," if that makes sense? My intuition says I am still missing a few key items that could tie this all together, and make me feel more complete and satisfied. I hope that makes sense. I am thinking that the powers of YLF will be able to quickly see and suggest here.

For example, off top of my head, after doing this exercise, it seems maybe I need to introduce an accent color ... but what?

Also shoes... I seem to be consistent here (creams, nudes, metallics)... is there a shoe that might rock my entire wardrobe world and shake things up?

I do feel I need more flats. Looking at this, it seems like I'm set, but I have this vague feeling I am not yet set. I have been thinking about adding black Birkenstocks, and a loafer but not sure what color -- knee-jerk is nude, but now that I look at this... maybe not?

I'm also interested in your suggestions on belts, specifically to wear with jeans.

I look forward to your input!

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Shopping

19 replies

Latest reply was from shiny

Anonymous

It looks like you have lots of great pieces to mix into a variety of outfits. I wonder if you need a few star pieces... Like an orchid blazer or lace bomber jacket. For belts I am amazed how versatile my grey/cream snake print is. I also wear a distressed silver metallic ( not very shiny) a lot. Both seem to work with lights or darks.

Thistle

Veteran

You have a lovely and well curated wardrobe.

Is there something you are reaching for that is not there? Perhaps you need a few pieces that you just love. Shop with your heart rather than your head for one or two pieces. Like some red pointy toed flats. . . Or maybe that's just me.

DonnaF

Veteran

I don't see any belts there. I found the look of a 1.5" belt is hugely different (in a good way) from narrower width belts. I've started to semi-tuck since a belt of that width creates such a horizontal line.

shiny

Veteran

Hmmm... if by orchid you mean like the London Fog trench I fell in love with (and still have, but plan to return), I could totally do something in that color. Maybe that's why I loved that trench?

Lace on the other hand is not my thing. Not sure bomber jackets are either. But, never say never...

What brand are your belts, if you don't mind sharing? I have been googling around, I know so little about belts and what brand is best, what to look for, sizing, etc. I love your taste, Joy, so if you have a specific recommendation for a certain belt, I trust it!

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shiny

Veteran

Also, I saw this (online exclusive) leather jacket, offered in petites, has me intrigued but I'm not sure this color mixes with what I've got? If it was in white I'd have pounced already, to replace my white bagatelle scuba pleather jacket I got from AT years ago...

http://www.anntaylor.com/petit.....38;catid=c

(I did not include the white pleather on this PPT because it's in sad shape now, cracking, I might still wear it on a Saturday/Sunday, but not in regular rotation).

shiny

Veteran

Thistle, I have this weird relationship with red shoes and bags. I say I want a tomato red for a pop of zing -- but when push comes to shove, I always end up defaulting to a blue-red/cranberry (like the round toe patent wedges on this PPT).

I actually have a pair of comfy Me-Too tomato red ballet flats (patent leather, big gold buckle) not shown here. They are in perfect condition -- because for some odd reason I just never wind up wearing them. Maybe I ought to dust them off and force myself to wear them? How would I make an outfit for that? For longest time I told myself it was the big gold buckle that was the problem, since hardware on my bags was silver, but now I can't say that since my black Coach bag has gold hardware. Hmmm.

Pointy toes sounds great in theory but realistically my toes aren't cooperating -- and I'm not going to knock myself too hard trying to find ones that work. If they find me, great.

rabbit

Veteran

I think your wardrobe looks very cohesive and complete with wonderful items. I was going to ask about the accent color since the red sweater and pumps stand out in a sea of neutrals (that they work with) but you mentioned that you have red and pink shells too so it looks like you are covered there, and no doubt your scarves introduce color.

For belts any of the finishes and colors in your shoes would be great.

So in terms of 'need' I would say nothing. It is complete.

The only thing (and I personally wouldn't shop for this specifically, because I find that hard to do) is to keep an eye out for 'wildcards'. Things that are unusual and unexpected and maybe uniquely you -- they might be 'star players' in terms of design impact, but don't have to be pricey at all. They could be like the items Joy describes, but if it was me and I went looking for something in particular to fill this role, I'd invariably end up trying to follow a formula rather than going "It followed me home from the changing room, it's so weird?! Can I keep it?"

always trying

Veteran

I think I know what you are saying. Sort of ties in with a discussion here a short while back about wants and needs and identifying wardrobe holes. but I really think the problem is there is just so much available, so many styles, so many really cool things it just somewhat overwhelming. seems like for almost forever we had certain things that went with certain things, like work clothes and shoes, weekend casual things, special things, and no, or at least little, overlap. NOw, and especially this spring, there is just so much mix up-before we had our Berkies, flip flops, Cons or whatever to wear with shorts, jeans, and for very casual dressing. Now since "mixing it up" is in, we are having an overwhelming desire to stretch things. I know I am having a big desire , and just starting to do that. Just for a small example, I think it was an Angie blog, of yellow loafers with black and white-or that big bright colored bag with neutral outfit. Makes me want to get something like yellow, bright blue or some color shoes, or as you said-shake things up a bit. so if we do not have exciting pieces in our closets, are we feeling like we are not complete. Every day there will be something else we want or want to try.

shiny

Veteran

DonnaF-- I have a very small selection of belts, and most of them work with dress slacks but not with jeans. I really only have 3 belts that work with jeans, and 2 of those don't work at all with the boyfriend/lower rise jeans. So yes, I need a belt or two, for sure!

The one belt that does work is black & white calf hair with pewter buckle, 1-1/2 inch wide. I picked it up in Austin last year. It's a fabulous belt. A little bit Western but not too much -- unless I change out the buckle (it came with two). Totally agree about the half-tucking.

I also have a calf hair leopard belt which is 1-1/2 inches and pretty awesome. I wear that a lot, but it's just a tad too small to wear with my lower slung jeans like the AG Nikki's.

Then I have a snakeskin belt which is also 1-1/2 inches and it looks great but it's got some weird buckle that slides around and just doesn't stay put. It's more decorative -- doesn't hold my jeans up! Keeps coming undone. Got that one at Marshall's on sale. I learned a lesson there- you get what you pay for.

Jjsloane

Veteran

It looks like you have lots of mixing options and some great pieces. I wonder if you have the same problem I have in that I am most excited by a "new" item. It gives the sense that there is always something missing if nothing is "new". Have you tried challenging yourself with creating outfits from what you have? It can help show you what you do have (as well as make you think what you need).

shiny

Veteran

My goodness you all are so wise! This is awesome. I am nodding along.

Rabbit -- you are right. It's the wildcards that make it. Lately I've been in "need everything" refresh mode, I have forgotten what it was like when I had a good working wardrobe already, and the fun was in finding the wildcard -- or rather having the wildcard find me, because I wasn't really seeking it. For example a few spring seasons back it was a cork clutch, a neon color block dress, and a neon pink skirt that followed me home from AT. I'd never have planned those purchases in a zillion years, but wow did I wear the heck out of all of those, and it was just the punch I needed. I guess I am trying to anticipate such wildcards and that's not how it happens, huh?

Always Trying --- YES! So true. Initially as I put together this PPT I sectioned out "work" vs "casual" -- then I realized they are all pretty much one in the same, just depends on how I mix and match. I do love that I can wear the same nice blouses or sweaters for work, then swap it up with distressed jeans and casual footwear on the weekend. How versatile is that??? And maybe because every piece works for any occasion depending on how it's styled, that is overwhelming me a bit, and may be feeding into the sense of incompleteness. I dunno.

shiny

Veteran

Jjsloane, I'm definitely excited about the new item! Yes! There's always going to be that factor for me, no matter what budget I happen to be on, low or high. In last few years I had to seriously curb my shopping hence why I refrained from participating here for awhile. I came back again because I have a new job now, so more disposable income, and also new wardrobe requirements in association with the new job. But also because I've gained some weight/body shape is changing due to menopause, and I was finding that nothing fit quite right in my closet anymore. Not to mention, items were starting to look dated. So I have been on major refresh recently. A lot is new, and I'm going to always love and want to inject something new, but that's not quite what I mean here by saying I have this vague sense something is still missing that could pull this all together...

My litmus test for 2014 is, as stated before, can I throw a bunch of items into a carry on bag on a moment's notice, and pack for a business trip that may include some vacation days tacked on? That scenario (which is my life right now, traveling at least one week out of every month) is what is driving my buying lately, and wardrobe analysis.

On the one hand, I can see how I am gravitating towards neutrals that go together -- easy to pack /build travel capsules. On the other hand, I can see how maybe there's a pull towards more liveliness, variety, wildcards... which if I packed into a suitcase means... I'd need to check my baggage! Cuz now I've got way too many shoes. Ha.

unfrumped

Veteran

I added a number of items this year in a kind of overlapping capsule-type approach. Clearly not the everything-goes-with everything approach. And some things added because I liked them, they fit, and it seemed that more was better.
But, I probably ended up with both more variety than I need, and more duplication (some dupes or very similar tops, sweaters, and pants styles). If a capsule is kind of "loose", it will always need something else or could use something else to complete it or to make better.
So I recircled and did more try-ons and SYC to see whether I was wearing outfits (Including shoes). that were so-so when I had things I'd really prefer and prefer to repeat or go in that direction..
If so then I was at risk of continuing to expand around the so-so items.

The spread photos are great, but probably more helpful to you. The rubber hits the road "in the wearing" and also proportions and how the footwear looks, and I find that so personal--same person can wear same things and look different. So you might do some extensive try-on's and see.
The color palette is pretty neutral , but a nice range of neutrals, so that alone isn't a giveaway. In general I'm learning there is more style quotient in a specific fit or cut of an item (or shoe) than in color alone, though the combination can be spectacular! That's why I also don't just feel called by random "pops" of color, though I like to include a lot of my best colors in tops and scarves and have a growing appreciation for layering on combinations of neutrals.

catgirl

Veteran

Do you have tall boots? Do you need tall boots?

Anonymous

Shiny, you do need something in the color of that trench! An arty topper that can be worn with your neutrals is what I had in mind. Instead of lace, maybe colorblocked or a print that you love. I find unlined silk jackets as easy to pack as a scarf and they add lots of punch.
http://www.vonmaur.com/Product.....&pg=1
This may not be your print but it may give you an idea.
My metallic belt is Calvin Klein Jeans from The Rack. It is 1.5 inches wide which I find does a good job of containing the jiggly bits. The snake is also Calvin Klein and 1.25 inches, a great width. I think I bought it at Macy's last year.

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shiny

Veteran

Una -- I've needed tall boots since I first started posting on YLF!! ARGH. That hunt continues (the ever elusive 13 inch shaft width by 13 inch high boot, chestnut, please!), but I've tabled it for now, along with a long list of other items on my wish list, for Fall/Winter next year. I turned my focus instead to spring - and what I can wear right now.

Unfrumped-- I've already road-tested nearly everything on this PPT, except for recent additions (white jeans, 7's, and yet-to-be-hemmed trouser cuts). I just haven't been taking pics because that's a challenge for me lately. But, I am pretty psyched because everything is working together very well, in fact, better than I could have dreamed. Cuz I do know exactly what you mean. I usually have lots more challenges (theoretical on page does not translate to IRL).

I'm especially thrilled with the Club Monaco sweaters I added a week ago... I've worn each one at least once already. These are going to be work horses, for sure, even if the weather suddenly heats up next week and we get slammed with a hot, long summer. I know I will get wear out of them in fall, winter, next spring... not to mention, in chilly AC'd conference rooms. Have yet to road-test the Burberry but that's because it's not back from tailors.

Your comment about pops of colors has me intrigued. On one hand, my eye is seeing that modern trends are more neutral in general -- more 90s inspired, I guess -- on the other hand, I miss the days a few years back, when I first joined YLF, when fashions were much more wild and unrestrained and color was all over the place. I think that nostalgia is "coloring" my feeling that I'm not quite finished yet. Then again, I do like the sense of having a more neutrally cohesive wardrobe, especially where my life has shifted lately, with the need to have lots of travel capsules. Makes more sense. But.. is it a yawn? Where do I find the balance?

Joy, not sure that topper is quite me, but I get what you are saying and yes, maybe that is what I'm missing, something with pattern and color that is artsy. Thanks for the belt info!

April

Veteran

No answers, Shiny, I'm just so glad you came back -- whatever prompted it.

abc

Veteran

Have you begun wearing the items yet? I was feeling the same way a while ago and until I started wearing the items to really see if I had holes I kept stressing out for no reason. Maybe this isn't the same case but I just had to ask.

shiny

Veteran

Yes, abc, I have worn 90% here...

Top row/toppers:
- Have worn the jean jackets countless times, none of those are new; have had those for a few years already. Tried & true!!
- Leather/pleather items: Vince jacket is new but have already worn it several times; black pleather is older -- it is a staple and I'd love to replace with real leather.
- Burberry: have yet to wear it because it's still at the tailors. I do have other trenches I've had for years, so I do expect I'll wear that one into the ground, once I get it back (sleeves shortened, belt raised, etc). Would not have dropped the $ if I didn't expect it to be a true workhorse for many many years.
- Grey theory jacket: I've had for 4 or 5 years; it looks as good as new, I wear it constantly. It is, hands down, my best blazer. I have a lot of other blazers but none top this one for fit, quality, packability, and versatility.

Top row/casual tops:
- The denim shirt I've had for several years and it gets a work out. Enough so, I wouldn't mind adding a second one that is lighter weight/has more easily tuckable buttons (the one I have has metal/jeans buttons that stick out a bit if tucked, but it is just perfect in every other way, fit, length, color, fading etc).
- I did recently refresh some basic knit/layering tees in navy, white, black; I've already worn each at least once. They are staples. The black & white stripe there on the PPT is brand new -- I swore I wouldn't add more stripe tops but darn it they are so versatile and this one had a nice fluid fit and rounded hemline so yeah. Have yet to wear, but fully expect I will & often.

Second row/blouses & sweaters:
- The first 3, the AT Legacy silk blouses, have been worn many many times and are my "go-to's" for work. I also wear them casually too, when mood strikes, untucked and/or layered under a v-neck sweater.
- The 4th I've had for a few years, it's a favorite, I wear it for work or casual, untucked, tucked, half-tucked, with jeans/trousers, skirt. I LOVE paisley!!!
- The 5th is recent addition and I have yet to wear it but plan to do so very soon, I like it best without a layer so I'm waiting for it to heat up a bit.
- The 6th I have worn a few times, I really love it, love the color (which is a core color for me in colder months); unfortunately, I've noticed that my cross body bag has snagged it a little, so I'm kind of bummed about the quality. I also have V-neck BR merino in same color that I've had since last fall, that gets worn VERY frequently, like once a week. Cranberry is one of my favorite colors. I have a favorite scarf in this color too, and a fabulous Italian leather satchel (not shown). I love cranberry paired with accents of leopard. That is a "go-to" theme for winter/fall; I'm getting tired of it as we move into spring, hence why I did not include those items on this PPT.
- #7 is a Vince cashmere blocky ombre sweater I only just acquired, but have already worn, and can't wait to wear with the new white jeans. It's awesome.
- #8-9-10 are recent CM purchases, last weekend, but I have already worn each at least once!!!
- #11 is AT sweater I bought a few weeks back and have already worn about once a week with various bottoms; it was really begging for white jeans and strappy black heels... hence I added those recently.

Third row/Bottoms:
As said previously the only ones I haven't worn yet are the new white jeans, the distressed light blue 7's, and the trouser cut jeans (have yet to take them to get hemmed). Everything else there I have worn constantly. My ponte knit pants are practically threadbare but I can hold out until next fall to refresh those. Okay, I haven't worn the new skirt #1 on that row yet... but I've been on a pants jag lately since it's been so cold. And I admit I could wear the windowpane Sloan's more frequently! Those require a bold & confident day.

Shoes:
Most of these are old, old... this was one area I needed a serious refresh. Only a handful of these are recent acquisitions. True, I have not yet worn a few of these, because they are waiting for warmer weather.

Bags:
Guilty of adding three new bags in last month or so Black Coach satchel I have been wearing daily. I just added the blush Coach bag this weekend, and the white Kate Spade, that was after much serious deliberation and weeks worth of thought/comparison shopping.

I have a lot more bags than this; I only included these ones, as they seem to fit my scheme here and are modern, updated, and in current rotation. The ones not included I will not use quite so often but they are there for when whim strikes, or an outfit calls for something very specific. I am probably going to cull out my bags soon, but that's difficult to do, because I have a lot of bags that still get used 1-3x's a year, and as long as I have room for them... (i.e., bags & shoes I do a strict "one in/one out" routine; clothes, I'm a bit more lax on that, but I am still striving, believe it or not, towards having 75% of my wardrobe all in one closet, and it's a small closet at that! If I had a walk in I'd be in BIG trouble!!!).