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Having a bit of a meltdown over my size ...

ButterflyLady

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Veteran

I've not posted any photos on here for ages now (although I do plan to do some, I am having Dress Dramas and Skirt Stresses, so will be posting a keep or return thread tomorrow, hopefully).

But I just had a very quick trying on session and am almost in tears over the weight I have put on. I'm only 5ft 3 ins, so the extra 14-20 pounds I have put on make a huge difference to how I look in clothes. I exercise regularly, and have a good diet - hardly drink alcohol, nothing fried, lots of fresh veg, not too much fat or sugar. I did try cutting down my food intake quite significantly recently, and after two weeks I'd put on a couple of pounds *cry*

I just don't know how to deal with my body - I hate the way I look, but that's not the right frame of mind to be in to treat your body well, and feed it properly. I struggle with my blood sugar, and if I don't eat regularly, and the right stuff (protein/small amount of carbs) I get really nauseous and feel shaky and faint, so it's not easy to eat a lot less.

General

30 replies

Latest reply was from Laurie

Di

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Veteran

Sweetie, have you seen a doctor? It might be a good idea to get checked out, make sure there's nothing wrong. It sounds like you're doing all the right stuff.

Big hugs in the meantime.

Mo

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Veteran

I have similar food issues - possible hypoglycemia - and eat every two hours pretty much. It's not fun but feeling bad when you don't eat is much worse. I don't have a magic solution but just empathy - I understand. Really watching the carbs (even the 'good' ones) can help, along with strength training to firm up those muscles. Any idea why your body is suddenly changing with you still doing the same things? Meds or hormones?
I have 3 pairs of jeans that won't comfortably zip up right now even though I'm at the same weight. Guess it has 'shifted'. It's a bummer to have your clothes not fitting, I know.
Perhaps try a yoga class for the feel good aura you get along with the exercise? Hugs.

Louise

Veteran

Big (((hugs))) I echo Di I'd get checked out by a doctor as it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Have you tried a diet group like Weight Watchers or Slimming World? I found it really helpful x

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

I am thinking of going to see my doctor. Although here in the UK I don't think he will be able to do a lot - I am only just in the overweight category according to my BMI. But it's getting me down so I think I might go and see him anyway ...

ButterflyLady

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Veteran

Malina - I have been doing weights, and I also do Pilates (which I absolutely love), plus some aerobics. I've had a hip injury which has stopped me doing so much high impact exercise (although I had put on the weight before the injury).. I am finding that weights are making my shoulders/arms bulk up so I feel really unfeminine - I am considering concentrating more on the Pilates for the time being.

Louise - I did do Rosemary Conley a couple of years ago (I only wanted to lose about 5lbs then) and it worked, but I am not sure about the whole 'low fat' thing really. I am rubbish at tracking points and things like that so I don't think Weight Watchers is for me. I don't know much about Slimming World though - that might be a possibility.

StacyJo

(website)

Big hugs...this weight thing can be a real bugger! Going through something similar. I have noticed when I up my water intake it seems to help with the shedding of da pounds. Don't le it get you down...focus on the fact that you are a beautiful woman who is smart, strong and victorious!

Lisa

Veteran

First-deep breath, relax. You are going to be beautiful you no matter what size you are. Second, I echo a Dr visit suggestion, there are so many ailments that can cause weight gain (a thyroid issue, hyperglycemia, or even something as simple as stress and lack of sleep).

HeleenH

Veteran

If you havent been doing anything different than before and are gaining weight, that is a good reason to go see the GP. Maybe he can do some bloodwork to see what is causing this. In my case I went to the GP to be referred to a dietician. He did the bloodwork the dietician requests and it turns out my thyroid was not working properly. So I got the refferral and thyroid medication.
I totally understand it is very upsetting to see your body grow. Mine is too at the moment, I think I am slightly undermedicated and have eaten just a tiny bit too many extra's. Time to cut the extra's. I have to wait a couple of months for my next regular blood check.

Irene

Veteran

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like some changes are going on in your bodysystem right now. I don't know your age, whether you are going through menopause, or anything, so I can't point at anything right away, but before starting dieting or joining Weight Watchers I would get checked at the doctor and see if there's anything wrong, especially regarding the thyroids or anything hormonal, really. It sounds like you are not burning calories as you used to, even though you haven't changed any of your habits. I have problems with sugar as well, and really NEED to eat every two or three hours, otherwise I feel sick. Just try to eat fruit, yogurts, bananas are really helpful, cookies (but like Digestive, not those with chocolate chips)...

rae

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Veteran

Hm, when you get checked out, maybe have them check your thyroid. My mother had problems with that.

I'm only 5'4" myself, so I understand how dramatic any gain can feel, so I can really empathize. Especially since you seem to be using way more self control than I do and are not being rewarded for your healthy habits.

Oh, can I ask if you drink caffinated beverages? I found that cutting out caffeine really helped with my own hunger shakes issues.

JaneF

They did a study at Virginia Tech that showed people who consume a glass of water before eating a meal tended to lose weight more easily than those who did not. Just throwing that in as something easy to do that might, but I agree with everyone else that a trip to the doctor is a good idea.

Ornella

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Veteran

BL, sounds like you do need to see your doctor, at least to tick it off as the option of trying to find some explanation. It must be terribly frustrating to look after your body and not being "loved back" by it.

My only advice would be to really be persistent until you do get some explanation you'll be happy with or that will make sense. Only you know your doctor and how much (s)he can be relied on, but my experience is that as long as there's a little voice inside telling you are not happy, then you should keep searching for the answer.

catgirl

Veteran

Agree with everyone else, see a doctor! The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago. I finally found out I have a thryroid issue that was accounting not only for my weight gain but for my moods and exhaustion.

As for how to dress, I've finally accepted the stellar advice here to dress the body you have now. I've given up caring about the size of my pants as long as I look good in them.

mrseccentric

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Veteran

Hello ButterflyLady! first, big hug! i've had the exact same experience and it's more than frustrating - the world isn't supposed to turn backwards i'm what, sixting? the doctor suggestion. the BMI isn't the issue. what you want to emphasize is that you have actually GAINED weight while making consistent changes which should result in a weight LOSS.

i've found most docs respond to numbers, so if you can say something like: 'i've gained XXX pounds in the last XXX months. in that time i cut back on calories by roughly XXX % and increased exercising by XXX minutes a day over my previous routine' this will make your concern understandable to most docs.

i have thyroid issues myself, and it can make you feel miserable on top of completely discombobulating your metabolism. 'Unexplained weight loss or gain of more than ten pounds' is always on those 'ten reasons to see your doc list' you see in magazines, so go see yours and, like Ornela said, get some answers that make sense to you. good luck! steph

Aziraphale

Veteran

Hmm....something doesn't sound right. I know that lots of women notice changes around menopause -- slower metabolism, weight gain shifting toward the midsection, etc -- but still, your weight gain being fairly sudden and happening despite all these things you are doing that should help you take it off? Sounds like possible hypothyroidism, or some other hormone imbalance. Is there a chance you've developed adult-onset diabetes? That can be a culprit sometimes.

I'm not a doctor, but I agree with the other ladies. I think you need some blood tests to rule out the more common causes of weight gain.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

'Unexplained weight loss or gain of more than ten pounds' is always on those 'ten reasons to see your doc list' you see in magazines,

The official rule is 15 lbs, but ...
- Especially if it's nothing you've done.
- Especially if you feel miserable.
- Especially if it's in less than 6 weeks.
- Especially if you have appetite change, night sweats, change in mood, change in energy level, feeling feverish all the time, that kinda stuff...

RE: Losing weight before you see your doctor,
If your doc is rude to you about your BMI, find a new doc.

I'm sorry, but I can't give you any advise about your particular condition, but would definitely encourage you to seek out a physician's advice if you continue to feel unwell.

Aida

Veteran

I don't think hypothyroidism would yield sudden weight gains, but if it was over a few months possibly, especially if you were exercising; you'd also have other effects, like lethargy. Definitely have it checked!

Megan

Another vote for seeing your doctor to rule out anythinng sinister

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

Thank you so much everyone, for all the replies.

I wasn't very specific in my original post about time scale - I would say I have put this weight on over 12-18 months, nothing as dramatic as over about 6 weeks. I would also say I am not completely angelic with my food - I do eat chocolate occasionally, and have pizza sometimes!

I am anaemic, so have had fairly regular blood tests (but the last one was a while ago) - my symptoms are extreme tiredness, low mood, poor sleep. My GP won't prescribe iron for me continuously, so I know I need to go back for that, anyway. Perhaps I can persuade him to do a full blood test to rule out other things (I know he tested my thyroid when I first went, and it was ok, but that was a couple of years ago now). I had suspected thyroid problems originally, but I don't seem to have many other symptoms or that.

You're right about the water - I should drink more.

As for being stressed, yes I am unbelievably stressed - I have a disabled child, so have a sort of low-grade continuous stress anyway; we are currently arranging for him to go to a residential college which has piled on more stress. My husband's job is at risk and my younger son is causing me all sorts of worries. I'm 47 and haven't really noticed any major menopause symptoms - I am not sure I completely buy into the 'women get fat after the menopause' idea - I have been doing lots of weights, as I had heard that part of the problem post-menopause (not that I'm there yet) is that we lose muscle as we age, and that causes us to gain fat (not sure if that is entirely correct, maybe Lyn* could correct me!).

I am going to make an appointment with my doctor for next week, to see if I can get to the bottom of this - maybe I should keep a food diary before I go.

Thank you all again.

ButterflyLady

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Veteran

Forgot to say - I don't drink anything caffeinated - I know there is caffeine in chocolate, but I don't drink coffee, caffeinated soda or tea with caffeine, as it makes me feel really odd!

Ornella

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Veteran

BL, as I said, be persistent. My pulse races when I think of the number of cases when my friends or I have been missed to be treated early or correctly because the doctor just did not bother. (Sorry to the good doctors out there, this is not a rant.)

Ask your doctor about including checks for gluten intolerance to your blood test - the symptoms you describe are very common for the condition. It may be red herring, but definitely worth a shot. Many doctors are oblivious to the condition because the symptoms are so common, nothing unusual about a little anemia, tiredness, low mood - but put them all together and they do make up different picture.
Please ask for that. If you need more info, PM me.

I have been diagnosed a few years ago and it's been nothing but a good news for me. But, I also became aware how little people know (both ordinary people and medical professionals) about it and am always paying close attention when people start describing symptoms similar to yours.

S(he) MUST have a good reason not to prescribe you iron or to dismiss testing that you ask for. Just know what you want and ask. Go to someone else if you have to.

ETA: By all means do not let them convince you it's the great stress that you are dealing with and your body does not react well. That's a favorite copout when they don't have explanation. A friend was dismissed from the hospital as overly stressed and verging on nervous breakdown instead of being diagnosed with the same condition as mine - and all it took to cure her was blood test and change of diet; another one was told stress after moving abroad was to blame for her irregular heat rate - not wrong type of birth control; I myself got an earful for taking up too much time when describing my post-baby body symptoms and was sent home with nothing - while another doctor realized straight away I needed 3-week long treatment with medication... the list is endless.

Ask, ask and ask. You have every right to be looked after.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Anemia causes tiredness, so if you really are anemic you should be taking iron. If you are having heavy periods- that can cause the anemia (and that is a symptom of peri-menopause). Your hormones can also disrupt your sleep and cause depression- so maybe you are having more menopausal symptoms than you thought.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm sorry this is making you feel so unhappy! I understand how frustrating it is.

A good friend of mine has been participating in a study at the NIH because she is experiencing something similar to you. She watches her food intake very carefully, exercises almost every day, and struggles to maintain her weight without gaining, and she's about 15 lbs over where she wants to be. She has been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome, which apparently can play a part in reduced metabolism.

It's worth talking to a doctor about. I know my metabolism has slowed as I've entered my 40s, but regular (4x a week) exercise seems to help. If it feels like you're doing more but losing ground, there might be something more going on.

Freckles

Veteran

Sounds like you have a good plan to go see doc. Take care of yourself and try to get some time to relax and destress in your hectic life right now.

Keep us updated please.

MsMary

Veteran

ButterflyLady, I feel your pain! I fought my weight for YEARS!! So big hugs!

Are you tracking your food and beverage intake? I ask because, especially when you are under stress, it's SUPER easy to take in more calories than you think you are. I know I can be super healthy all day and then inhale two handfuls of, say, chocolate covered almonds right before bedtime, which can easily add almost 1000 calories to my daily total! Unless you're actually keeping track and writing it down and adding it up, it's easy for that kind of thing to slip under the radar.

And if you are keeping track and your calories really are in a range that should have you maintaining or losing, taking your log to the doctor will help you and the doc be on the same page from the beginning!

Finally, remember you are a wonderful and beautiful woman right now, right this very minute, regardless of the number on the scale or the number on the size tag in your clothes. I am the Captain of Team Dress the Body You Have Now, and I really urge you to run out and buy some pretty, comfortable clothes that fit you and look and feel good RIGHT THIS MINUTE. I've always found it much easier to lose weight when I wasn't hating myself every minute, and when my clothes weren't torturing me with too-tight waistbands and the like. This is a time when it's important to be as kind to yourself as you obviously are to everybody else in your life.

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

Thank you again, everyone.

Khris - I've had heavy periods since they started - I think it's just the way I'm made. My doctor checked for thyroid problems as well as anaemia when I first went to the doctor with my symptoms, and diagnosed me with anaemia. I have meds to help with the bleeding (and they really do help) and my doc wanted me to take three month courses of iron, then have a few months rest. What tends to happen is I feel a bit better when taking the iron, then when I stop I gradually feel worse, I go back to the doctor, get more iron, start to feel better, and so the cycle goes on. I feel the sleep symptoms and low mood are linked to anaemia, as they improve when I'm taking iron. But then, I'm not a doctor.

Ornela - that's really interesting - a friend's father and another friend's daughter have just been diagnosed with coeliac disease, and it was a fight for both of them to get that diagnosis. However, in both cases they lost a lot of weight, rather than gained it.

MaryK - I do plan to keep a food diary, so I can keep an eye on my food intake, I am about to look out a notebook to make a start now. And thank you for your comments - I know I should dress for how I am now I just seem to be having a huge difficulty with that

MsMary

Veteran

There are all kinds of great online food diaries, too! I use http://www.fitday.com, but other swear by http://www.mydailyplate.com. And http://www.calorieking.com isn't a logging program, but it has the calorie counts for probably MILLIONS of foods including restaurant foods.

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

Thanks MaryK - I've just remembered there is a British version of those online food diaries - http://www.foodfocus.co.uk/ which I will sign up to.

Freckles

Veteran

Good luck in your quest.

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