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Dressing like the "odd man out" ... Need a bit of help!

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I thought I was hitting my stride with some of my crazier more "maximal" pieces with textures and different colours and patterns, but I felt totally inappropriately dressed today, which has not happened to me in very many years and was quite uncomfortable.

To be fair, the setting was more formal than I am used to, and I was not an interviewee (we are interviewing canidates for new residents next year - exciting!) and there was a lot of sleek looks and a lot of black. One of my fellow residents was uber stylish in a very sheath-cut magenta dress, but aside from that, it was totally a sea of black.

I am not sure if I am totally off the mark here - I just tried to ask Kate Spade and Tory Burch (haha) to see what are some interesting things I can wear to work, but I would still be able to look professional. I think I would totally like something with a print and separates like #6; but I can't seem to look as professional as the other residents and it's really irking me.

To be fair, the others have a much large budget to work with, and they wear the big brands all the time... I don't exactly have a tiny budget, but I don't think I can buy a pair of Prada pumps unless I save up for quite awhile. I don't think I need them either, but I'm rambling now...

... does anyone have any insight into why I can't quite make professional?

... I'm looking at these pics that I like, and it seems that any interesting prints they have or bright colours go along with a very tailored cut. Maybe that is what I am missing?

... Would love any comments! Thanks <3

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Dressing

31 replies

Latest reply was from Lisa

biscuitsmom

Veteran

I think you look utterly amazing and up-to date, but Im wondering if the pattern-mixing isnt going over so well.... Im not really a big fan of it personally, and maybe the bosses arent quite as attuned to style updates as you are....that is the only thing I can think of that might cause you trouble....I think your clothes are very well structured for your great figure...I dunno if bright colors would work.... arent most upper-echelon bosses very consevative? Maybe Im way off-base

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

None of the bosses have said anything to me, because most of them are like amazing and stylish...

... the top three docs today; one of them wore a grey suit with a light blue shirt (floral print) and he had a paisley purple tie. Our lady doc wore a black turtleneck, grey pencil skirt and tall black boots. The other lady doc wore a brown blouse in a boxy cut with grey dress pants and funky red glasses.

I've only received very positive comments about what I wear, so it's more of my gut feeling that I'm out of place, more than anything anyone else has said, if that makes sense.

Susie

Veteran

A few random thoughts on what makes these looks less than professional to me...

#6- the bow print is very girly and cutesy; the mint is also girly and very sweet (plus the model looks like a teenager so that probably doesn't help!)
#4 - I'd like to see the whole outfit as this one looks the most professional from what I see
#3- the bottom half reads more professional; the top looks a bit casual and overall it could use more polish
#2- the most professional look of the group but there is a bit too much of the bombshell vibe

cciele

Veteran

I liked the pattern-mixing of today's outfit lyn!

Sounds like you are equating "professional" with how many of the residents/top docs dress: "sleek," "sea of black." Doesn't seem much in the way of patterns or maximal dressing here. I guess the question is how much do you want to fit in -- can you go part way, e.g., go with a basically monochromatic palette and add one pattern or color as an accent (instead of as the main focal point)? Or do you want to explore your own sense of what it means to look "professional"?

Susie

Veteran

lyn, from what you described, the black turtleneck outfit is a perfect blend of stylish and professional

Susie

Veteran

I meant to add......but I think first and foremost you need to be YOU. If someone had been suggesting to you, or even just hinting at, a need for you to modify your style than I think you should take that seriously. But if you are being complimented, does it matter if you are dressing 'differently', at least most of the time? Maybe a more subdued selection would have been appropriate for today's setting but that sounds like an exception rather than the norm.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Lyn, I think if you are getting positive comments, they probably appreciate what YOU bring to the setting and it's nothing to worry about.

But if your gut feeling is still bothering you and you would prefer to fit in a bit more, then my guess is it would make sense to reduce the flirty princess elements of your style while at work. Note, I don't say eliminate. But temper those elements with more structure.

So -- wear a fit and flare dress, which you love...but wear it in a sober solid (navy, grey, black, aubergine) and make sure it's longer. Or if you want to wear a pattern, wear a blouse with a pencil skirt. Wear a jacket instead of a cardigan. That sort of thing. In other words, I think your comment in spot on.

At the same time, I agree with Susie that some of these particular looks still feel very "girly" vs. adult. So you will need to decide how much of that you need and how much you're willing to give up in this environment.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Hmm, I get comments like ... "You need to show me where you shop" and "You're definitely a stylish resident" and "You always look so cute" which seem positive.

Thinking back, comments like this are a bit mixed... "Who showed you how to dress?" ... "Where did you get your style from?" ...

Not sure

Caro in Oz

Veteran

What Suz said. If I was feeling this way I would try my darker colours, slightly more conservative looks & see if that worked.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Perhaps you are over thinking this, Lyn? Your outfit today was not a happiness factor of 10. Start there, but no need to dissect your entire style. I am THRILLED that you receive positive comments about your outfits. Big and deserving feather in your Doc's cap

Transcona Shannon

Veteran

I get the sense lyn that you are in a bit of style flux - you're transitioning from student dressing to a "grown up" position dressing, if you know what I mean.

Are you able to nail down at all what about today's outfit made you feel it wasn't "right"? was the pattern mixing? was it the colour? was the length or shape? Just trying to narrow down any details.

I think Suz has made excellent suggestions but remember to stay true to who YOU are.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

I think you ladies are quite right - I don't really have any real-life style idols, so the ladies that I think dress well are all conservative dressers, so part of me wishes that I could do that too.

That being said, it's sort of unreasonable (they have a very different body shape than me and are much taller) to 100% emulate their style (or anyone else's). Maybe I'll try something different tomorrow and see what happens.

pil

Veteran

edit post

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Lyn, you know what? I think those comments are SUPER positive and they are telling you they like what you're doing. And in psychiatry you definitely have more freedom to be who you are. I wouldn't want to see you tamp down your style in any way. I agree with what Shannon says, though -- you are probably in transition from student to full professional, and you are edging towards a new decade of your life -- so it is natural to want to evolve your style a little bit, which I expect you'll do quite naturally. It sounds like those wise women do not expect you to dress like them, which is great.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

Ok, so I'm not a doctor, but I work in a teaching hospital. I work more with surgery than psych. This may come off a bit harsh. So take with a large grain of salt.
I did my clinical training in a 1000+ bed hospital. I wore a button down shirt or a sweater with dress pants under a lab coat everyday. I was there to learn and to do a job, my attire reflected that. If I went to place that didn't wear scrubs, I'd dress like that again.
You are an intern (at least that's what they call first year residents here). You are the low person in the hiearchy. You are still learning your trade and have a long ways to go. But you are a doctor so you need to convey a certain degree of authority and respect.
So maybe lengthen your skirt and dresses, reduce the flare a bit. Less twirly, seriously tone down the cutesy.
No on #6.

pil

Veteran

Without knowing anything about the medical resident hierarchy, is there someone you would be comfortable asking for some guidance?

rachylou

Veteran

Heavier fabrics.

Thistle

Veteran

I don't know much about psychiatry, so take this with a grain of salt. But when I was in a profession where we interacted with clients rather than going to an office, we tend to follow these rules:
1. Dark colors. Black, navy's, charcoals
2. Subdued patterns, if any. Easier to look crisp and professional without patterns, honestly
3. Best shoes you can afford. Closed toe.

No bright colors. No flare. Think bankers. Yes, I know, but they wear what they wear to inspire confidence.

Again, I am an accountant and used to be in Public Accounting at one of the BIg 4. You really don't get much more conservative than that.

Tina.b

Veteran

I have several close female friends who are doctors (specialists mostly) and my husband is a Nephrologist. My friends range from super high end fashionable to no interest in clothing at all. They all project a level of professionalism though. Medicine has become a lot more casual in the past 10-15 years and there is not need to go ultra conservative.

You want to be appropriate and professional but approachable. More conservative pieces are great for interviews, presentations, and grand rounds. You are still young, enjoy that, and dress in a way that reflects your aesthetic and personality. Throw a lab coat on when necessary. Your style will evolve as you develop in your career. You have great style now, continue to hone it. IMO, there is room for self expression in fashion as a physician.

In a couple years you will be able to afford those Prada pumps, no rush. As for the outfits above I would say the skirt is too short in #3, and outfit #6 is way too cute for work. Sandals like that are definitely a no go (and those ones look painfully small). Love outfit #1.

Day Vies

Veteran

I am sorry you are feeling out of place Lyn.

Here are my thoughts and experience. I was a corporate recruiter for a number of years and almost all interviewees wear black, navy or charcoal suits. (I perfer navy -- people look less like an undertaker). As an interviewer you have more freedom to wear what you want and if this is the first time you have been on the decision making side of the table it makes sense that you feel like a fish out of water -- person after person sat in front of you wearing the appropriate black suit. You have to remember you aren't interviewing -- they are. As a result you can afford to have some personality.

I do recommend pulling out a suit-like combination (3 pieces) or a dress w/jacket combo on interview days -- this way you won't feel under dressed. I absolutely adore your style, but it does lean girlish as does your preference for pastels.

Here's a solution for you, interview day dresses should be sheaths not fit and flare. You can maintain your signature style by adding a pastel blouse as a layer under the sheath so that your, mint, pink, aqua (insert pastel) blouse can shine through. A cardigan unfortunately will never match the authority and polish of a jacket so I recommend losing them on interview days. I say take a basic navy, charcoal or black suit and wear a blouse under it that you love which I imagine would feature feminine details and, prints and pastels. (Pastels really soften the edge of black -- I love ice blue and black) If you don't have a whole matched suit -- no problem match the blouse and the pants then throw a complementary jacket over it. You can even button it up and belt it. I hope that helps and I look forward to seeing what you come up with for the next round of interviews.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Thanks for all the advice! I think I was a little confused today because I didn't know that I would have any formal interaction with anyone ... the email said that we would just be going to an informal FAQ session and then we would have classes/academic day activities.

I know better for next week! I ended up ordering that plaid sheath dress It's dark coloured and not fit and flare at all!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Lynn: The plaid dress is a great blend of being you and respecting the environmental norm! Sounds like you're getting it "sorted," as Angie says.

unfrumped

Veteran

I teach and supervise residents and fellows and sometimes remind them that it's not about them and their self- expression but is about perceptions of patients and families that never met them before and have nothing but first impressions to go by.Young women in particular may dress for the wrong " audience" and for results or concepts like I'm cute , hip, fashion forward, sexy or whatever, when the message we want is, I'm knowledgeable,trustworthy, kind, experienced, and the .most important thing to.me is how can I help you. All things that are not part of any fashion magazine shoot, especially SexyMouth! ( well, not in the way I mean !)
As.one actually grows into that more, those characteristics often become more self-evident and I think there is more freedom , and maybe more for doctors who are in small communities with a lot of long- time patients. And there are always a few people who can manage to be expert and eccentric.
So, #1 & # 6 are to me part of the dressing for the wrong message or audience ( those shoes!) .

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Sounds good! Plaid dress it is! Not so much the pink one

I might try on these too; next time I go to the mall.

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Amy

(website)

Veteran

My advice would be very similar to Day Vies'. I don't think you need to change for every day of the week, but having a couple of options available for more formal situations like these would be good.

goldenpig

(website)

Veteran

Lyn, I can so relate to your dilemma because even though I'm at least a decade older than you I still get the "I can't believe you're a doctor--you look 12!" comments and struggle with trying to look older and more professional. You and I both look young for our age and tend to like girly feminine pieces (Angie said we are both Fun Flirty Princesses), color and lots of patterns and pattern mixing. I don't think you need to get rid of those things entirely but it's good to have some sleeker more structured outfits in your arsenal on those days you want to look more "grown-up". Like jackets or blazers instead of cardigans, sheath dresses instead of fit and flare, longer length skirts, and fewer pastels and more restrained pattern mixing. I think the Peter Pan collar in #3 and the mint green skirt and bow twinset in #6 just look really young looking and that combined with your young-looking face might be too girly. I would aim for more like #2 and #4, those look more professional while still retaining your love of color and pattern, just in a more luxe way. I think I would die if I had to wear all black and grey or solids all the time, so I think you can still do bright color and pattern, you just have to make sure it's more of a polished cut and style. You are light years ahead of where I was at your age (I don't think I even had a style at all in those days), so don't worry at all--you are lucky to be so stylish already! Your style is just evolving and maturing--you don't need to change everything, just adapt to your new needs.

ManidipaM

Veteran

I'm so glad to see Natalie chime in, because I was hoping she'd be able to advise --- I recalled her 'youthful professional' concerns too.

You've got great advice already about reining in the silhouettes, getting more 'seriously hefty' fabrics into the picture, adjusting colours and patterns in a less youthful direction without entirely losing attitude and whimsy --- I suspect 'lighthearted' may be good your line of work, pretty often, both for yourself and patients.

In a sense, Natalie's preference for silhouettes more tailored --- something you note in the examples in your original post --- already reins in the 'flirty feminine' vibe to an extent. But I'd suggest thinking about the extent to which you are comfortable adopting that for yourself. Although the two of you have different shapes and silhouette preferences, you do have other similarities as well. You may not need to go all pencil skirts and sheaths instead of fit-and-flare if you reduce the A-line skirt to a slightly narrower one or get a pleated one that hangs straighter when not in motion, for example.

Don't compromise too much on your already great style sensibility, is what I'm getting at in a long-winded way! Just let your new lifestyle adjust the closet slightly.

Niefern

I don't know if this is of any help, but none of the 6 pictures above reflect 'my' idea of how a doctor should look. I find they look a bit too fashionable/light/colourful.

Amy

(website)

Veteran

Natalie said it perfectly!!!

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