I get this--- I have an invisible illness. I get up in the morning and I put on makeup and get dressed presentably because everyone else has to, so I don't figure I get an exception.
Still, it can feel like a lie when I hear, "oh, but you look so good" or "you have the energy to put into looking nice"--- just because I've perfected the use of concealer and can put on pants doesn't mean that I don't feel like I got hit by a bus. Most people in my life don't know about my health issues, so I can totally relate to looking like you can take on the world when you feel like you can't. It doesn't mean you can't do what you need to do, but a little comfort, a little tenderness, and a little recognition of what you do and deal with sometimes makes all the difference when your having a hard day-- hopefully your lucky enough that someone who cares about you will pay attention or a stranger or acquaintance will handle you with courtesy, but it is that much harder when there is no outside indicators of how you feel. I constantly have family not be understanding because they can't "tell" I'm having a bad day.
For awhile I did dress like I felt--- but it only made me feel worse. I was always this hugely engaged, bubbly, confident person and all of the sudden I didn't feel like I could handle everything I used to juggle. So I dressed like someone that wanted to shrink into the background and didn't have the energy . . . unfortunately, that only makes you feel less confident. It is a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Right now I'm looking to convey all the positive things about me in how I get dressed. I need stuff that makes me feel confident, secure, comfortable, and ready to take on the world. Still, I like to put together a wardrobe full of fall-back outfits, so I can get dressed and look capable and put together even on those blah days.
I have those days though that I take off the hot pink shirt or the leopard just because I can't handle all the comments-- I just don't have the energy to deal with the extra notice.
