Dare to Ware?

Ledonna N.

Do you feel like the Odd person out when it comes to your clothing choices?

When I left the military I was overwhelmed with what choices when it came to clothing for both work and personnel time. I decided to just try everything. My body was changing gaining weight. I had 0 sense of style etc. etc.

While the outfits I put together made me very happy when I would leave the house to see friends or family they would not be nice about holding back negative comments. Eventually I stopped wearing what made me happy and just conformed. I was no longer happy I eventually wound up with a partner that was very judgmental about my clothing choices.

As time has gone on and I am high stepping into my 40s I feel a new sense of confidence in what I wear and how I feel about myself and attitude towards my outlook on life. I strut, People complement me and even friends and family now have an appreciation for my style. Sometimes I have even had to eliminate the negative people in my life

But once in awhile that one negative comment can make me feel kind of like the vulnerable Youngster in her early 20s. But I choose to dare to be different. I Dare to Wear. How about you? Do you Dare to Wear?

10 years ago

Dressing

13 replies

Latest reply was from Ledonna N.

rachylou

Veteran

I dare to wear, but I think of myself as a serious person. I don't do much promenading, and will never find occasion to dress, oh say, like Marie Antoinette with birdcage wig - you know I mean?

It's funny. The other day I was walking behind this guy at work. He's a genuine dandy. Green jackets and orange pants and pointy monk loafers. I pretty much lacked proper appreciation. I just kept thinking that I wouldn't want my clothes to precede me like that. For all that I am a clothes horse, I want to be more important than them.

Weird is good - effort not so much. Lol. That's probably the bottom line.

10 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Had to come back, because I was wondering what the most daring/outlandish thing you and everybody and myself have ever worn.

Probably mine was a full ball-gown to go on a mini-golf date. I'm a nut. Ok. I guess that was kinda Marie Antoinette - but I was in school then!

10 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Thank you, Rachylou for your thoughtful response. My most outlandish is my Thunder dome coat I cut the sleeves off of the coat because I found it to be to bulky. After I cut them off it was just perfect for me. I usually wear this to church but I have started to wear it more and more.

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10 years ago

Gigi

Veteran

LadyWone, I am sorry that there have been so many negative people in your life. But I am glad that you are able to dress with more confidence now!

I think your outfits are fun, and I am sure that they bring joy to people's lives. I don't know why people are so negative about the way others dress. I think it's very important that we have the ability to express ourselves through dress. Rachylou, I would love to see your coworker! His outfits sound like fun to me. :^) Men's fashion is so boring...

As for me, I do feel a bit odd in my clothing choices, since almost everyone I know dresses, well, pretty sloppy or frumpy, to be honest! I always conformed, from the time I was a little kid. I didn't come from a home where individuality was valued. So I'm 40 now and am just starting to learn how to express myself through clothing. I even learn from my clothing choices who I am. I have been getting a lot of comments (good comments!), so people have definitely been noticing. But I don't have any family where I live (they are out of state), so there is less judgmentalism going on. And I like it that way, because I am not a strong person and might chicken out if I had to interact with them a lot. Hopefully there won't be a lot of interaction with negative people until I am much more confident in who I am!

10 years ago

rabbit

Veteran

On the one hand, I sometimes dare to wear. But on the other hand, where I live and what I'm doing, I feel it's pretty safe to, I'm not the most outlandish dresser on the street or among my friends, I'm pretty middle of the road. When I carry my cat head bag around, I usually get positive comments when I go into little shops, it's a conversation starter. As long as I'm physically comfortable, and it's not an 'effort' to wear an outfit, I usually feel good about it.

Craziest outfit? Halloween doesn't really count does it? But there were a few years where I didn't dress up because we didn't have a party to go to (and no kids). Eventually I decided, I'm just going to do it anyway, and we'll go find somewhere to party that night, even if we're just bar hopping. My most elaborate outfit was a year or two ago when I decided to be mother nature and made a tree growing out of my head complete with birds. We ended up going to dinner at a nice restaurant, and it was a little awkward getting through doorways, but it worked.

I think it takes more courage to dare to wear when you are in more mixed company, especially with conservative folk - there have been a few times when I think I scandalized an older relative unintentionally at a group gathering (I really wasn't trying to). It helps to have at least one ally around who appreciates your flair.

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10 years ago

Runcarla

Veteran

All clothing is costume. Some folks choose a more common 'uniform' while others do not.

FWIW, you dress in a very creative way, but I don't find it outlandish. You look like you enjoy playing with texture too.

I experimented with VERY red lippy for a couple of months. I had very short hair at the time, and was wearing body con sweater dresses. It was a strange sartorial phase in my early 30's between DS #1 and DS #2.

10 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Gigi- I think people just are used to giving there opinion. Family can be a challenge. I am glad and I understand about building your courage.

rabbit-I am loving the cat bag. It is always wonderful to have that person in your life to appreciate your individuality. I think friends and family tend to mean well when offering their opinion. I just think they needed to learn that this is me and get used to it.

Runcarla-I agree that clothing is a costume. We all have our experimental phases. I think until we settle into who we are or what our clothes is trying to say.

Thank you all for sharing.

10 years ago

krishnidoux

Veteran

Good for you! The only way to discover your true style is to continue to wear what makes YOU happy. How sad that you felt you had to "conform".

May I suggest one trick: try to get very good quality basics in the style you like. It makes it easier to then pair more extreme items.

The coat looks sensational on you.
XOXOX

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10 years ago

Astrid

Veteran

Good for you to 'dare to wear'! I think everybody should wear what makes them happy (although I do think there are times when it's important to dress appropriately for the occasion).

My style is very tame and in the norm, I don't think I've ever worn something that really stood out. But I was very mousy before YLF and tended to choose my clothes for comfort with the goal of not attracting any attention at all, so I've come a long way. Now I'm wearing what I like and feel good in and I don't care if people look at me when I'm out and about. Living in Berlin really helped with this, in addition to YLF. Because here you have to dress really out there to attract attention and I certainly don't. I'm definitely more noticeable when I'm home with my parents though because style is a lot less fashionable and daring there.

My friends don't comment on my looks at all and the only comments I've gotten from my family is my dad talking about my BFs and half -tucked tops. He doesn't get the look, he said it was too bad I didn't have fitting jeans and why would I not want to show off my small waist?

10 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Lol, Astrid, re. your dad. That is so 'dad.' Actually, my bf is like that too.

This is really really bad of me, but I'm convinced it's kinda a *German thing* - yeah, in that obnoxious way Americans understand nationality. (I'm so rude! I'm sorry!) But about keeping something of a lid on comments about personal appearance. My bf (practically 100% German-American) laughs when I joke, *No compliments now. Can't have anybody getting a big head.*

10 years ago

cciele

Veteran

Ladywone, I love your new attitude! There is something special about the 40s, isn't there? I have way more confidence than when I was in my 20s.

And yes, that translates over to Dare to Wear. I think in my early 20s I didn't care one way or another about fashion. There was a time where I was quite eclectic/boho, and then a time I tried to dress how people around me were dressing (sporty REI clothing, SAHM clothing). Now I am back to Dare to Wear and am loving it

10 years ago

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

I do dress a lot differently than my office mates, but nothing too crazy (in my opinion - I'm sure to some I'm whackadoodle). I dress up a lot more - hardly anyone in my office wears skirts and dresses and only a couple ladies wear heels. I dress a lot more colorfully than anyone else, lots of different colors mixed in one outfit (most will wear a colored top with their otherwise all neutral outfit). No one else wears leopard or python print pants, that's for sure. But I get lots of compliments so I think I'm at the very least somewhat entertaining to others.

10 years ago

Ledonna N.

Veteran

Krishnidoux- Thanks for the advise about basics

Astrid- I alwasy take into acccount the situation and ocassion. Sometimes I tone my style down to suit some occasions. Ylf has helped me to center and define what and how I wear some clothing.

Rachylou- You must be my long lost sister to Funny

cciele- I agree wholeheartedly to your comment about being in your 40s Life still fluctuates but I am more centered about who I am and what I wear.

milehighstyle- I co-sign what you said about work. It is the exact opposite for me at work for safty reasons I tend to tone down how I dress. So when co-workes see me after work or at other non-work events they are offten very surprised at how I dress when not at work.

10 years ago

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