Gaylene, I'm in my early 30's and more so due to different interests and less so because of aging, I've been feeling similarly for the past year. Most current trends don't thrill me and I don't get a "rush" from the hunt of finding new pieces the way I do when I reach for an existing favorite. I also think that what draws my eye and looks flattering is currently very different from the majority of what most people on YLF are drawn to. I've been opting out of participating very much for quite a while because I sense I'm just not on the same wavelength right now and style hasn't been something I've been as interested in during the past few years. Nothing wrong with liking different things, mind you, and I've always felt welcomed on a personal level, but it makes discussion/participation a little different. I still chime in when something draws me and when I have time, stay quiet when I simply have a poison eye toward something as I don't think that's constructive, and read the blog mostly.

This has been an interesting read. I too am old. I find it liberating. My mother was like Astrids, not interested in fashion, so I definately dont wish to dress like her. She had a great attitude though, when it was hot, she wore shorts and and a tank top. She didn't give a rip what anyone thought.
I feel I am more vain, I WAS forgoing the sleeveless looks because of the baggy arms, the shorts because of the saggy knees. As I age I don't care so much, if someone doesn't like t h e look of my wobbly upper arms, or the fact that I may wear a scarf with skulls, a leather moto, they don't have to look. I dress to please myself, and am becoming more confident with each year.
Gaylene, I have always enjoyed your point of view on this forum and I hope you continue to be active here on YLF.

I've thought about this lately too. what I decided on is, whatever style I have is what I have. Some may like it, some may see it dowdy or boring or untrendy. But so what? A style is a style. No one loves all styles even Angie has poison eyes. Frumpy, just like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. I don't get hung up on the definition. I don't think it's easy to define frumpy or beauty with words. so the word doesn't bother me as it just tells me which side of spectrum the commenter is on. I'm more interested in the rationale behind it.

There is a lot of wisdom on this thread.

I too hate the term elderly, as in "an elderly 65-year old woman crashed into a bridge today." Earlier this week I was thinking about this, and I decided that elderly describes someone who is 10-15 years older than I am.

When I check on the Forum and I see WIWs from some of the women closer to my age I am always delighted, especially when I see a post from someone whose style is quite different than my own. I love to see someone wearing an outfit I would never think of for myself, and the Fab poster looks great and opens new possibilities. I have been tempted to title a post "Debbie made me do it." I love how Debbie tries out new items and ends up not only looking great, but looking like herself. She is adventurous, but never extreme.

I learn from all of you. I also learn from teenagers and college girls who post. Colors, proportion, scale--as my body changes size and shape I learn from almost every photo.

Well, I'm 65 and I work in fashion and have always loved clothes, but I was always a conservative and classic dresser. The only time I dressed in a manner that was not exactly my style was when I worked for a fashion retailer that required, ( but not as an edict) a minimalist black aesthetic. So I dressed like that for 5 years but I craved color, layers, and lots of accessories. Now I wear what I like and will for the rest of my life, if all things go well. No polyester, elastic waist pants or orthopedic shoes for me, unless I'm not choosing my own clothes.

I think there are quite a few of us over 50 members. I really don't think of this as a primarily young community at all, so I would never consider that I might age out. My danger is that I might frustrate out!! Just get so tired of trying that I give up altogether. Finding and dressing in a way that makes my life work and makes me feel happy...wow, that's hard!

I think disparaging something as old lady or frumpy is not at all limited to the younger members. I think that concern is raised quite often by us over 50s. I wish we could all just stop, but that probably is along the lines of asking women to stop worrying about their weight or body shape. We have a long way to go to get this far on the acceptance scale. Discussions like this help, but I can guess it won't be too long before one of us pipes up again..."does this look frumpy?".

One time this came up, someone looked up the dictionary definition of frumpy: old and unattractive. Okay, what's the term for young and unattractive? Oh...we would never call a young person unattractive, that's just plain mean!! Then why are we so free with the word frumpy?

I really have no idea what frumpy is. I know that a stained hoody and grubby sneakers are probably frumpy but beyond that it's all just choices.

I post WIWs mainly because I feel it helps people get to know me better. A happy side effect was that it really helped me work out proportions. I'm not really looking for the perfect this or that. Perfect is the enemy of happy. I'm looking for happy.

Firstly, please don't leave, you are such a wise woman & I would miss you very much .

What seems fine for this particular blogger & many of her readers would be anathema to me. I do think that she is being a little provocative too. There is a lot of ground between

lamé leggings

& dowdy & that is where I want to walk.  Fashion, art & music all evolve & so do we. I don't need to look young for my age but I really want to look good for my age & that includes looking current. That doesn't mean I can't have a "uniform" & it doesn't mean I can't keep my expensive clothes.

I have lots of thoughts about this topic but not much time at the moment - sorry

ETA: The blogger in question is wearing glasses & a necklace that I cannot ever see HRH wearing - just a point

I'm in my early thirties, which often makes me on the younger side of forum posters, but I always appreciate suggestions and viewpoints from women at different life/career stages than I am.

And I don't think you have to post WIWs to contribute in a meaningful way to the discussions here!

In terms of style, there are uniform dressers of all ages and if you know what works for you, why change? A goodly proportion of posts here are because many women are seeking to hone their styles into their own personal uniform.

Hmm, I am not sure how this thread wound up talking about "frumpy" again, when the title uses the word "dowdy." Which I always thought was a derivative of the word "dowager" which the dictionary defines as -- "a dignified elderly woman."

I don't care what age I am; at any age, I hope I look somewhat or passably dignified. That doesn't mean covering up my arms and knees. It just means looking like I haven't given up and called it in; like I have a mirror at home and occasionally look at it; like I've given some thought to circumstances & audience as I dress for the day's events; and like I'm comfortable in my own skin. HRH checks off all those boxes. I'm sure her personal stylists help with that.

Gaylene, I do get what you are saying, as I've felt a similar call lately. In my case, it's not a return to favorite outfits I wore in my 20s or 30s. I had NO clue what I was doing then! It's more about being okay -- and reaching for -- those items I learned in more recent YLF years work for me. For my lifestyle, my figure, etc.

I confess I've totally become HRH of Duplication lately. I have very little time to shop the B&M's, so I keep duplicating whatever arrived in the mail that worked. On the plus side, I'm getting better and better at online shopping -- my hunches that something will work for me are more and more on the mark. But a lot of it seems the same, over and over, and is "risk free" - certain brands, shapes, etc that have worked in the past. For example I find a great jeresy dress that travels & packs well and fits awesome and is comfy, I am apt to duplicate in all the colors. And then I wear them all!

So yeah, I'm gravitating more and more to a uniform... and comfort is key.

This is a very interesting thread. I turn 61 this year and my big thing right now is I don't care if I look my age I don't want to look older and I don't want to look like I don't care.
Ms. Maven paid me a high compliment and I appreciate it more than you know. I do want to be adventurous and have fun with fashion.
I don't wear shorts but sleeveless shirts yes. Frumpy is a word that I am banning from my vocabulary.
Gaylene I hope you stay. I love reading your thoughts. You make me think and that is a good thing.

This may seem quite ignorant (which I admit I am) but for those not living in the UK, HRH stand for Her Royal Highness. It took me quiet awhile to figure that one out.

Gaylene, if you are interested in the forum, you're not "aged-out." And I would never want you to go. Just today I was thanking my lucky stars for you. I ordered, and finally managed to get (after some frustrating delivery issues!) that Club Monaco foiled sweater you mentioned....it is lovely and has satisfied a HEWI for me. So thank you! You may wear a "uniform" a lot of the time, but it's one that I evidently love. I think your shopping recommendations, based on items that have worked for you, have been among my most successful purchases since joining this forum! And we've never even met!

(That's one more great reason for occasionally posting WIWs, by the way. As Shedev says, it lets people get to know you a bit more -- and they can make better suggestions as a result. But the public service reason is not to be dismissed.)

Anyway. I agree (as usual) with everything Caro says. I don't mind looking my age (at least most days I don't), and yet I do want to look good. I, too, gravitate towards a "uniform" but the uniform has some variation over time -- and I know that until YLF I was lost when it came to managing and figuring out when to make those subtle adjustments. Now, it's different. I'm wearing lots and lots of items that I bought four or five years ago, still (and I expect I'll be wearing them two years from now unless they wear out) -- but they look different with the newer items I've chosen to go with them -- and that gives me a sense of fun and creative satisfaction.

Having said that, now that I have a working wardrobe, I'm not buying as much and my energies are devoted to other things for the most part. I think this is natural and fine -- sometimes our hearts are elsewhere!

Wonderful, thoughtful thread. I align with Caro and Marley at this point - in part because of the many fine examples on this forum. I am in a bit of a playful phase right now, trying to wear things that I never even noticed when I was younger. If I dyed my hair, I would feel more self-conscious about trying to appear younger, which I don't want to do, or appear to do. I guess I do see myself as a PSA in my small world, now that I think about it.

At 54 I am enjoying trends more than ever before. I don't know if this is a phase or if I've discovered something about myself that I never knew. It doesn't hurt that I moved to Los Angeles, where women of all ages wear all kinds of things. There's much less of a feeling here that women over 50 need to dress conservatively.

Gaylene, your outfit sounds sharp to me.

Also, I could be wrong, but I believe that the Queen is HM, or Her Majesty. William and Kate are HRH.

Gaylene - I love it when other people post their WIW! It's just all in good fun.

Re: looking dowdy-- If you dress like the queen, you're dowdy. It's actually that simple, IMO

My mum is 72 and she wears the same mariner sweaters/shirts plus capri pants every day. This has been her look for the past 10 years, I'd say. She looks great because of the cut and colours and the evident quality of her garments, and I think it would be impossible for her to look better. Certainly she could wear trendier clothing, and be more stylish, but I don't think she'd look better.

It helps that she maintains a little bit of a tan and seems to have good muscle mass and some fat on her. She's healthy-looking.

I'm 37 and I think my mother has come closer to reaching her full potential than I have mine.

I am with SheDev on the role of WIWs. It's a way of putting yourself out there so others can get to know you better. I am positive that WIW threads get a lot of views, although not necessarily as many corresponding comments. Because sometimes we can't think of anything to say, and feel uninteresting on this intelligent forum saying something as benign as, "you look great."

You are one of the members who can convey her style very well through words, so you really shouldn't feel like you *should* post WIWs. Even though I would love to see you and your outfits, as I tend to feel more connected to people when they post pictures of themselves. Probably one of those human evolutionary phenomenons.

I also feel that posting WIWs and pictures is a way to enrich YLF and thus support Angie and Greg in attracting new members. Since fashion is visual, when new members can see pictures they might learn better and again, feel more connected and therefore more likely to participate.

Although we are not style twins, I do admire the Queen greatly, and we share the same birthday. My style is more Keith Richards than HRH. There is room to express and appreciate all styles on this forum, from the intentionally trend avoiding lover of classics, to the the clothes horse who participates in each new shift in fashion.

I certainly hope you don't leave the forum. Your contribution matters and adds value to YLF, for certain.

Great topic, Gaylene. I am turning 62 and am enjoying fashion/style more than I ever did when I was younger. I have no problem acknowledging my age and realizing that women decades younger will not want to copy my style. Who wants to dress the same as their mother and aunts, even if you think they look attractive? My strategy going forward is to wear flattering colors and modern classic styles, which suit both my frame and my features. Also, as others have mentioned, to show that I take some care in my grooming and appearance. I have been greatly inspired by friends in their 80s and 90s, and even by lovely women I've seen in restaurants or in other public places.

It does astonish me that I am now older than those who I considered "older people " just five or ten years ago.

More thoughts... I haven't worked my way to answering the question yet, about aging out of a fashion forum... One has to ask if fashion is all about churn or looking like a good candidate for making babies or what.

I do think there's a lot of interesting stuff attached to fashion - history, philosophy, politics, music, tribal culture, etc. I like the entry point of fashion into the discussion in this regard. It's a pleasant segue, and we get that here on YLF - the full scoop and scope.

I'm not convinced fashion changes that fast. I don't personally see significant enough change to declare a new era, when I step back, since WWI. Although I suppose there's the issue of women in pants, which would make for a good discussion/argument. Anyways, my point is, I don't know that churn is a requirement.

My mother, who's in her 70s, pretty much dresses head to toe Lands End and only buys a few replacement items each year... Rightly, this ought to be a recipe for frumpy and dowdy, but it doesn't happen. Also fashion is a regular topic for us, so that's another thing that suggests to me the ol' wardrobe can be on a slow burn without killing the conversation.

Hmm, I suppose there's another question to be asked... If you basically want to dress like a birder every day, do you have a place on a fashion forum? I mean, REI clothes the entirety of my home town. Everyone is terminally dumpy... except they're not. Bit of a weird out, it is. But there you have it, on any naturalist-led field tour, there will always be someone with a certain flare, navy fleece and tan cargo shorts included...

Ok. The thing is, along with 'Is there a god?' and 'Why are we here?', there is that other eternal unanswerable question, 'Blast it! How does so-and-so make dumpy look so good?' No! Really!

Ok. There's a third item I realise: straight up retiring from fashion... I have to think on this and come back. But I'll note that some retire earlier than others. Some never retire... And there are interesting studies on engagement and health...

"But there you have it, on any naturalist-led field tour, there will always be someone with a certain flare, navy fleece and tan cargo shorts included..."

That's it, right? The magic. It's the magic that many of us are seeking when we come here -- whatever our style signature.

There is a way of looking stylish or "having style" that has little to do with the specific clothes. I think a lot of us who come to YLF either have that, or are looking for that. It is possible to have this kind of style at any age (except maybe infancy). Race, gender, social class, wealth, size -- none of these are relevant to this kind of style. Nor is age.

Gaylene - your thoughts have always resonated with me. You see I'm here for the chat. None of my friends have any interest in fashion. For me I love having an informed taste, but like you I found a uniform I love, that loves me back, and my goal is to wear what I enjoy and feel good in. I have received negative comments on the forum when I've expressed my personal desire (no judgement intended) to follow my style muse and not trends - it made several fabbers feel hurt that it was a judgement on their choice to have fun with current fashion, even when no judgement was intended. I was even asked why was I here. So I can relate on how having a well defined signature style can make you feel unwelcome and irrelevant on the forum at times. But what is wrong with cultivating an educated eye, seeing how todays fashion relates to our personal vision, and selecting pieces that are really "us?" I too have been buying long term investment pieces - at 55 yo, I want quality, fit, elegance. Classic, timeless, elegant, understated and unique with my trademark 5 B's - bob, black, blazers, boots/booties, belts - which have characterized my style since the 90's. I don't post wiw's for privacy reasons but also because I'm not looking for feedback or affirmation - although I have shared pictures privately for those interested in how I was styling pieces. But that being said, I love YLF. Here I find intelligent, stylish, empowering women who share an interest in fasion and their insights and discussions have helped clarify my personal goals. Some have recommended books (waves Caro!!), others by being my sisters in darkness (you know who you are!!), some by having a unique transcendent style which is deeply personal and inspires me on my journey, some by their wisdom Gaylene!, some with their thoughful comments and some by their sheer love of style. These are the things I think transcend age and make ylf so special to me!

So much wisdom and thoughtfulness in this thread. Gaylene, please don't leave. Your contributions to this forum are always rich and interesting, and I *always* read your comments.

I started lurking here many years ago but only joined about 1.5 years ago (what can I say, I am shy!). There were a LOT of younger women here at the time, and I do feel the forum has matured a bit. I am now 51 with a 20-something daughter and a 70-something mother, so I am always mindful of and struggling with how to dress between these two extremes. However, the differences are more subtle than I ever thought they would be. My mother is not "frumpy"...more classic and sporty than some of her peers. My daughter is not super trendy, tending towards a young classic (is that a term?) and also sporty.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the lines between young fashion and old fashion have really blurred, in my experience. All age groups have something to offer and that's why this place is so fun and so intriguing.

Gaylene, threads like this are one of the highlights of the forum to me! I love the challenge to think and question old habits, preconceptions and thought processes, and you have made me really think about my judgements on some things! Thank you for that.

I think that it is fantastic that you have found a style/"uniform" that works so wonderfully for you. That is something that I adminre in women of all ages, because I think that one of the most beautiful things about women is when they are comfortable and confident with their look. I believe that most of the angst in the process comes from simply trying to find the "me"-ness of it all. I can find a lot of appreciation for looks that are way out of my comfort zone if the wearer has been purposeful in her presentation. As others have said, we should find different wording to replace "old," "dowdy" and "frumpy" when disparaging a specific look we wish to avoid. The looks that I admire the least tend to be those where the wearer appears to be clinging to something the just doesn't look flattering enough or purposeful enough or give any thought to how it may look in today's world, particularly when that is combined with an attitude of disdain for current styles/fads. That is a huge difference from someone who embraces a style or look that makes her feel confident and wonderful, even if it is not mainstream.

I completely respect the women here who don't post WIWs, but as others have said, seeing people does tend to make us feel more connected. The other reason why I like to participate in sharing photos is that it contributes to the vibrant mosaic that is this community. I find some styles/looks that I wish to emulate, and others that are way out of my comfort zone, and I hope to simply add to the volume of that group. I also truly love the scope of ages represented! As I seem to represent the middle age range, it helps me so much to look at those younger and older. Both challenge and excite me in different ways, and I learn so much from those who experiment and try things I would never think of, as well as those who embrace a more classic/timeless style (and I have noticed that his doesn't seem to correspond to age). The artistic tension this creates is priceless to me, as is the continual celebration of diversity in age, race, and personality!

Gaylene, I'm new to these parts and love it here because of the way new ideas and fresh takes on fashion get tossed around. I always find something new and, often, something I can use! I'm 62 in a few days and while it would be lovely to actually have my 20-something body back (oh what I could do with that!!!) dressing the body I have in fun, lovely, and fashionable ways is where I am now.

I see women my age all around me. At events, at the gym, while out and about. Some are stylish. Some are just wearing clothes. Others look like they've given up on life. May that never happen to me. Sometimes I'm just wearing clothes but, I hope, most of the time I'm wearing them with a little flare.

Age is no barrier to looking pretty and having fun. It's just different. In my glorious youth I could rock a look. And guess what, I can still rock a look! It's just a different kind of look, less "look at me" and more "happy who I am". You rock your look, too. I'm sure of it. I've read your thoughts and seen your finds. They're inspiring. Also, you're interesting and original, and those things can't be manufactured--so run with it.

You definitely belong here, and everywhere.

What a great post and such well thought out responses!!

I'll be 58 in September and in my work world, I am usually the oldest female. It's funny how the youngest 20 somethings dress and act at our large meetings. They could learn a lot by visiting this forum.

Even if I wouldn't wear the exact clothes on some of the posts here, I can easily see myself copying the color combinations etc. For example, the white/grey/animal print post from Angie...totally doable for any age.

Or the "Comfortable Shoes" post that got a lot of action on the forum recently.

I also love the capsule and travel wardrobe posts.

There is such a wide range of ages, styles, body types, and nationalities on the forum and I love reading and seeing what's going on around the globe with the wonderful women here. I thank you all for posting and sharing!!

Oh, last thought, something I had been thinking about for ages as people tell all women what to wear...frumpy and dowdy may just mean that a woman has decided to go off "socially mandated attraction duty". Yes, m y phrase.
Wut?! Not caring if people think she is attractive? Not catering to male gaze or female standards? Not spending large amounts of cash and time on upping her social acceptablity? Fitting in? Utterly radical.
I love fashion, and it is an art to dress skillfully and be happy and comfortable. But if I decide not to care today, that will certainly be my prerogative, and I sometimes look at the determinedly frumped and smell a certain freedom, you know?
No, it is not attractive. But it does not make you a bad person, LOL.

Dowdy - what does that mean, exactly? The Google definition is: (of a person, typically a woman, or their clothes) unfashionable and without style in appearance.

I think, what it has come to mean, is anyone not buying into the I must look young and thin paradigm, I must buy whatever fashion trends are current so my old stuff is seen as old, which makes lots of companies lots of money but I am not sure makes the women caught in this loop happy. At the end of the day, isn't being happy the goal?

I have been pondering this overnight before posting, and I have come to think that not only is style highly personal, it is highly regional. My grandmother is almost 90. She lives in a very small, very poor town in Ohio where she was born and her biggest lament is many of her lifelong friends and even her siblings, are dead and she missed the old days of getting together with everyone. She still goes to play cards at her church twice a week, and she loves wearing sweatshirts with puffy paint scenes, embroidery, glitter, whatever, especially with faux collars. She rocks that with polyester pants as they are "easier to iron" in her words because even at 90 she irons.

While she would most certainly be considered "dowdy" on YLF, she feels fab, and those she plays cards with always compliment her on her sweatshirts. She is perfectly happy with her wardrobe, and the only new clothes she adds are the new pieces her kids, grandkids, or great-grandkids send her.

Not YLF style, but hers, and it does everything it is supposed to; keeps her warm, keeps her clothed, and makes her happy.

Maybe there's a style called "intentional frump."

Wow, Thistle ... I think you nailed it there.

Gaylene, maybe it's not the best analogy, since your post addresses getting close to opting out of "fashion" as an interest or topic altogether (total style indifference, if that's the right term), but I think it also just addresses relative interest, which is fine to be way on one end of a spectrum or another, as well as style choices and independence vs conformity, which is different from randomly pulliing items off the shelf at the discount store, a la "absent-minded professor" .....

Anyhoo, my loose analogy is that my work wardrobe goals are really a lot different from what I see on the forum, and maybe are becoming more different with more YLF experience, interestingly, because of been there, tried that and have had a lot of fun honing in on what works and why or why not. The percentage of actual outfits shown on this forum that I could "literally" wear is pretty small--but I can use elements of them. Or, more to your point, the way folks often get wardrobe variety uses elements that I won't/can't use, ergo, I will choose a narrower range of options and therefore have more of a uniform, and that might possibly be boring to some.
For example, Shannon (waving to Shannon so I think this is okay ) is a style icon for me even though we're different body types and coloring and she wears outfits that work in her business casual culture but I'll never use even though technically still business casual--no jeans, no rolled pants, no semi-tuck, no open toes, no sandals, lots of things. Plus I can't even use toppers to carry the day. So obviously there are the pencil skirt outfits and trouser outfits and dress outfits and ankle boots that can translate directly. But it's more than that--she has a real knack for combining colors and textures and accessories, and remixes things, and I find that very interesting and consider, hmm, look how that one handbag has been used with all of these outfits and still looks great, or, look how there is a new way to wear that top, or how much is gained by the use of color, or something.
Sveta also is a style icon for similar reasons.

At one point I was frustrated because so much "advice" was, as you say, try that with jeans! do the semi-tuck! wear a pointy toe! need some heels with that! keep legs bare! (Not Angie, really, as she very often offers a good range of options). But I got past that and just filter it out.